How to Get My 3.5 Year to Quit Screaming ALL the Time??

Two ideas:

First, work on volume. Practice what's a 5 (loud) to what's a 1 (whisper). This can be a fun game and will help her understand what those numbers mean.

Then when she's at a 5, you can say volume 3, to help her adjust her volume.

Second:
Give her lots of examples of what to do/say INSTEAD of the screaming. Be her voice and verbalize for her what she would be better off saying. Walk her through what you want her to be doing. You don't need to force her to repeat you, if that's causing her to be upset. Hearing you speak for her (and then respond as if she's said it -- and only after you've given the better way) will do more good than you think.

Model what you want her to do and treat her the way you want her to act.

L.

Be consistant with her, NEVER ever ever give in to her to get the screaming to stop. Not at home not in public donot give her her way.

Send her to her room everytime she raises her voice or screams but you have to be consistant everytime.

The best advice I got about that was to say, "I can't understand you when you talk that way." And then ignore her or repeat (endlessly) that phrase until she talks in a normal voice. When she does, say, "Wow - it's so wonderful that I can finally understand what you're saying because you're talking in a quiet voice." And then respond calmly to her request.

It worked for my screamer!

Addition:
A very wise person once told me this trick, and it works wonders. When a child has lots of anger/frustration/etc. and no way to express it, the best way is to give them a way to express it. One great trick is to give them a bag of ice cubes. They get to throw as many ice cubes as hard as they want in the bathtub/shower - It makes a loud sound which is satisfying, and it makes their hand cold so they can feel it, and it's using aggressive bodily energy. All without screaming. You could try that, as well!

All I can say is your not alone! My son that turned three in April is exactly the same! His high pitched squealing all the time is enough to drive anyone nuts! I am waiting anxiously waiting for some advice too. I have also tried time-outs, taking toys, etc...nothing works and this has been going on for about a year.

He does not have his own room, nor does the bedroom have a door on it =(

good Luck!

I also agree to scream back. I have heard it works and when my 3 yr old cries and makes a fit I do the same and it totally changes the situation. She starts to laugh and then she doesn't remember why she was having the fit!

Check out the book "Parenting for REAL life" by James and Lynne Jackson. Amazon has it. It has wonderful discipline techniques that are very different from traditional thinking that really work. Also check out their website: www.connectedfamilies.com. They also hold workshops around the twin cities showing their techniques. It is AWESOME!!! The workshop schedules should be on their website.

i would try to not respond. the first time she does it tell her. "i won't listen if you scream at me" then ignore her until she can ask calmly. My nieces where like that. they still yell at my sister but haven't tried it again with me. they know i will not listen if they are screaming. It may take a few times until she starts to remember. Make sure when she does cool down and speak calmly that you quickly tend to what she is asking so that she understands that calm means mom hears and screaming does nothing to help her out. good luck.

I used shock treatment with my daughter. She was 3 and began the screaming trick, this was 16 years ago but I decided one day to show her how it felt. So every time she screamed I got right in her face down on the floor and screamed with her, loud enough to drown her out. I got a few stares for about 3 hours and it ended. Once she realized no matter where we were I was going to do it, she quit and that was that.
I tell my children I only hear the nice tone. I have ears that don't hear whining, moaning, groaning or complaining. I do hear requests, thank-yous and you're wonderful mom. They laugh now and tell their younger siblings the same thing.

Our son has had moments of this screaming. We told him that he is ONLY allowed to scream in his room (with the door shut). So when he starts we remind him. He goes in his room and gets it all out and then comes back out and rejoins the family.

We also use this "in your room" tactic for whinning, tempertantrums and no listening -- it is the general "time-out spot". We do not tolerate much whinning or yelling about wanting stuff.

And if we are in public -- we just leave. A few times of leaving throwing lunch away or walking out of a store has done the trick for us. Now those times are few and far between.

We also reward -- lunch at McD.'s, a $1 car, a "special" snack when our son is having a good day or behaved well somewhere.

Best of luck.