I Am Going Crazy!!!! Help Please.

I totally understand! Men just don't understand how important it is to have that alone time...even if it is just for an hour(which isn't long enough anyways)I would just try to find friends that can take them off your hands for a few hours. I am new to the area and live in Arlington/Grand Prairie. I wouldn't mind watching them for a few hours... and my daughter would love the company. Even If it just for you to go to a park and just sit and enjoy the silence. You have to get someone to help you...if your husband doesnt realize how important it is for you to have your own time... another mother will definently understand.

You have so much company in this situation it is not even funny! I think there are probably at least 5-10 times a day most moms have those same thoughts going through their head. I think if you could get the feeling that you were more in control (it may just be an illusion, but any little thing helps!) you would feel less overwhelmed. In my opinion, the first thing you have to do is make it so you are getting good sleep. If you aren't sleeping well, everything is overwhelming. Start by telling the kids this morning that everyone that tonight you are starting something new. I don't know what ages the kids are, but they can either stay in their own bed or climb into bed with one another vs. you! Two of ours sleep together in the same bed which has helped decrease the trips to mommy and daddy's bed. I also have an escalating scale of what happens if they come to my bed in the middle of the night that they are aware of--first offense they just get sent back to bed, second offense their bedroom door gets closed, third offense their night light gets turned off, fourth offense their blanket or teddy gets to spend the night with mommy, fifth offense they go outside and sleep in the doghouse with the dog (we never have had to go past #3...I add the doghouse one because the kids really think I will do it!) The kids love to recite what is going to happen if they get out of bed--we talk about it at bedtime in a light-hearted way. Then, you have to follow through the first few times with each kid and believe me they will start staying in bed. Once you get some sleep, you will be in a much better frame of mind to tackle the food issue and some of the other stuff. I really think it is important for mommies to get out of the house alone or to meet a friend on a regular basis--even meeting a friend at the park where the kids can entertain themselves and you can get some adult conversation will help--call a friend and schedule that for this week so you have something to look forward to. You can do this!!! Hang in there. It is all about survival at this point.
hh

That second shift is HORRIBLE for everyone--check your local YMCA or your church for a list of certified baby sitters; employ their services at least once a week, if only for an hour to have lunch w/ a friend. Does your husband work 7 days a week? If he has a day off, use one of those days as your grocery day. If it helps to compromise, offer to take 1 child with you, which will seem heavenly in comparison! I don't know if you've ever watched Super Nanny, but she helps families in your situation with some very good tactics. The number 1 tactic is ORGANIZATION. Putting up a chart with a schedule, using stickers & rewards for good behavior, etc.
Check out the website for more info:
http://www.supernanny.co.uk/TV-Show.aspx

When mine were litte, 3 babies all only 1 year apart.... I had a similar situation. So I went to work part-time and left them with a sitter. The money I made only made enough to cover the sitter, but it was wonderful to be out of the house for 10 hours a week, talk to adults and go to the bathroom without being followed.

If you can find a very part time job and a part-time day care situation, even if it's just over the holidays, I recommend it. Then the kids get a break from you and you from them.

Get them in Day Care( I have one at home, me) join New Comers and go. Join Bunko and groups. You have to have some time out. Even in the different groups you can eat out at least lunch or dinner alone without them all. Bible Study groups get close and build friendships and can help and support and pray for your situation.We all have problems but a sure cure is when we learn of others needs and help them it takes our focus off ourselves. Our children are here to teach but in the process we are basically growing ourselves. Hope this helps. If you are near Highland Village the best church I enjoyed was Cross Roads off 407. I live in Ft Worth now and I go to Havest but so far I have not gotten into smaller groups which I need too. G. W

ok you don't say how old your kids are so that makes it a little difficult to form a informed idea. However if I were you I think what I would do is simply STOP.It will be harder than it sounds of course, but if you are expecting AND expected to give your all to being a sahm you are going to HAVE to take time for yourself. You should demand that when you grocery shop it is alone. If you go to the Post Office...GO ALONE....you have no other option and neither does your husband. After all he does get to interact with grownups at work AND he does not have the family with him on the ride to and from work. Good luck

I have 3 small children as well so I definitely know about going crazy sometimes! :( My advice is to get them on a routine and to take time for yourself. My husband worked 2nd shift for almost 4 years and it was not fun. Do not allow the kids into your bed. If they are in the habit of that it will be pure hell trying to break them of the habit but it will be worth it. Tell your husband you are going to the store ALONE. The kids will probably scream and cry but they will get over it. Your husband may protest but go anyway. You need it!

I understand my kids are 9 yrs and 6 yrs and they fight like crazy and NEVER get along. I worked about 50 hours a week and so does my husband and I wish we could come home and just have a nice family that gets along and what do we get but yelling and screaming. I have anxiety and let me tell you if you don't make time for yourself you will soon start seeing the signs. (headaches, dizziness, tired all the time, nausea)My Dr tells me that going to the store is not enough alone time because you are still dealing with other people, you need time alone a walk at night or just time to go somewhere by yourself. My OBGYN suggested Yoga too she said she wouldn't make it through the day without it.. Anyway I wish you the best of luck and please take time for yourself, plus the holidays are enough stress along with the family!
Take care,
W.

YOU should take care of YOU first or you will not be able to care for your entire family - husband included. Put the kids to be in their own beds, and let them cry!!! Go outside if you can't stand hearing it but don't cave in. You're going to have bigger issues with them as teenagers if you don't nip this thing NOW. You're an individual first, then a wife, then a mother. You can and should go to the store without them. Get Dad on track with this too. He needs to support you and tell the kids they can go to their room when you leave if they persist with crying. Above all - stick to your guns and you're home life will improve in such a short time. I know, my first two slept with me and hubby for years and with the last several I was more stern due to hubby's promting. We all have had more sanity!

Sounds like it is time for a playgroup! There are many great groups out there. I have been a part of Mothers and More for several years and the friends I have made have saved my sanity more than once! Our national website is www.mothersandmore.org.

Other suggestions would be to find a grocery store with drop in babysitting. Krogers in Flower Mound has two WONDERFUL ladies Ms Melba and Ms Kim who are great with the kids. They have short circuit TV through out the store so you can watch your blurry little monsters and make sure they are behaving. The only catch is the kids have to be potty trained.

You might also try and find a gym with free day care. There are many of them around. I HATE to exercise, but if I know it is the only hour I have for myself, I bring my headphones and head to the gym to watch Dr Phil in peace on the treadmill.

After bedtime on Thursday or Friday, head out to IHOP and read a book and order coffee. How much can hubby really complain if all the little ones are sleeping?

Bottom line is you HAVE to take time for yourself. Your family will actually function better if you do.

Best of luck!
P.