For those who wondered at my deleting the original message:
I deleted it because I realized that everyone has their own take on what they consider to be relevant to my situation. Some were way off and others hit it right on the head. But because of EVERYONE's responses - good/bad, or whether I agreed or not - each and every one of them helped me come to the conclusion that I was blowing this whole thing out of proportion. In a way you ALL did make me see different viewpoints so thank you all. I also realized that I didn't need 40 plus posts - just the first 13 or so helped me view things in so many different ways. Is that not the point of this forum? Also, I tend to be fairly private where myself and my fiance are concerned so I deleted the original so it would not so up unexpectedly on FB as some of my other questions/responses ended up.
I would like to think that other people who delete their messages have the similar reasons and don't think negatively on them for doing so.
@flaming... the 40 responses to my "sleeping" question is the one that showed up on FB which proves my second point to why I deleted my question. It's obvious that you and I don't see eye-to-eye about "privacy" on this forum. It's cool - I respect your opinion and would hope that you can in turn respect mine and maybe relax a bit since my intent was not to "tell you off." Wow.
I missed the question but firmly support anyone that wants to delete at any time for any reason!
I didn't pull up your profile to see what you are referring to. However, I have been tempted to delete questions. I am not good at expressing myself and tend to ramble and not get to the point (if I even KNOW what the point is I'm trying to make...thanks to my ADD!!!! lol). I think that leads to people not "getting" what I'm trying to say/ask, which then leads me to be frustrated and wanting to delete the whole thing. Instead of doing that, after seeing the responses I "needed" to see, I just don't go back and look at my question anymore. That solves that problem. Whether I'm upset at what others have said, or have just seen enough, that's what I do. And I too, am concerned about privacy. I got all psycho on myself, changed my name on facebook to my last intials, deleted a bunch of info off my profile and I don't allow ANY app to do anything!!! So I get that too. I hope you feel better and got the info you were looking for. Good luck.
People have their own reasons for deleting questions, and you won't be able to convince someone of your reason if that person already has an inflexible mindset. Certain people are not wired to see individual cases and consider that YOUR reasons are not based in THEIR associations.
We post to get our questions answered, to get perspective for our lives. Rarely do we just ask questions for the purpose of soliciting answers that might be helpful to random others, so there is no obligation to leave questions up that are specific to you for other people to scrutinize and judge. Those who feel disregarded by your removal were likely doing it for the accolades, for the joy of seeing themslves in print. They didn't offer the advice and release it for your customization and application.
Your experience here is yours and no one else's. You get out of it what you choose to get out of it. If you get what you need and then decide, for whatever reason, to clean up after yourself when you leave, that is your right. In fact, it's good manners. Carry on.
Actually no, most people delete their questions as a I am taking my ball and going home temper tantrum.
Thing is all of us have asked questions and got the answers we needed pretty quick. We don't delete the question because what is the point? Sure we have our answers but more answers aren't going to hurt, we don't have to go back and look.
So pretty much deleting a question is wishful thinking that you won't have to see more answers you don't want to see. I suppose it works, after all most won't continue to answer the original question they can't see, nope, they attack you for having a temper tantrum.
Did you have a temper tantrum, no you did not. Did you delete your question because the answers weren't going the way you wanted, come on, be honest, you did. After all you got 40 answer to kids sleeping with you. A lot of them kind of the same, yet that question stands.
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If you were actually concerned with privacy you wouldn't have started this question telling off one person for their opinion that you didn't like your answers. Where is your respect for her opinion?
People who want privacy don't start new questions drawing attention to the question you wanted to be private on.
Even though it's a public forum, it's YOUR question, so I am of the belief that it's your right to delete it if you want, and you don't owe me or anyone else any explanation.
The reason others give for taking it down (one favorite being ---"if you take it down, then other people can't be helped by it) are non-issues. People can still be helped by the remaining responses, or if they need more help, they can post their own questions. It's that simple.
While I don't think it's a great idea to go back and change the original question into something completely different, it's still not my call. It's better to clarify, update, or add more information in an ETA or SWH---but still, not for me to impose on anyone else.
I've never understood why people get worked up over deleted questions. Just not on my radar of things to worry about.
So, do what you need to do to take care of you, and don't worry about negative comments. Let it go......
Added: Love H Looloo's response!
I don't think there's anything wrong with deleting a question if the answers you're getting are upsetting you, or if you don't want to think about it anymore, or if you're worried about it going public (how do things end up on FB???? I didn't know that could happen). There are only two things that frustrate me when a question is deleted:
1. The original poster "fights back" to the replies in her new message
2. There is a lot of valuable information in there (links, references, etc) that could be helpful to a lot of moms on the site.
But I don't think there is anything wrong with deleting a question that you posted. Those who will flame you for deleting will find something else to harp about instead.
well, consider that while your question is yours, the forum is not. it's not all about you. there are other people reading both your question and the response, and when you change the paradigm or yank the question, you render the entire situation useless.
i DO think negatively of people who do it. it's rude, and worse, it's cowardly.
khairete
S.
