If You Were Totally "Free", What Would You Life Look Like?

I've never spent time imagining my life without my family. I don't want to.

I have imagined my life with my family but free of financial concerns though - what if I won a big jackpot lottery, for example. Would I work if I didn't have to? (No). Would I move to a nicer house? (No, I love my neighborhood too much to leave). What would I do with my time? (Volunteer and travel)

Sounds like you mean child free. We are never totally free. I was child free and without a husband, until my late 30's. I traveled, went wherever I wanted. Spent my money however I wanted. I often felt lonely. I still had other responsibilities. I had to work. I was limited in times I could travel or do anything else.

Now, I'm retired, very glad I had a well paid job with a good retirement plan. I also have grandchildren. I wouldn't have it any other way. I had years of doing what I wanted tho I had to plan within the framework of adult responsibilities. Those responsibilities gave me an income after retirement. We do have to live within the boundaries of responsibilities.

If you're talking about what would my fantasy life be like, I'd want to have enough time to both travel and have family. I adopted a special needs daughter and now have special needs grandchildren. In my fantasy life, family could stand on their own. I could travel whenever I wanted. I would hAve more money. I would be happily married with typical children. I would have a husband for a travel companion.

I am happy with my life as it is now. Except, I'd like a maid to keep my house clean a handy man for all those jobs I'm not able to do myself and a Gardner to keep my yard beautiful.

For me a fantasy life is just that. I am happy in my real life.

I'm living free right now. It sucks. My husband of almost 27 years but together 30 dropped dead last year.

I have my daughter who has suffered the blow of losing her dad, ended up with heart surgery and she's ok now.

I'd take any bad day I ever had to go back to have my husband with me. I've lived 10 months without my best friend, my partner and I can tell you that I never dreamed or fantasized about doing so but in real life, I hate it.

I am productive, I am healing very slowly but I miss my best friend and partner.

Be careful what you wish for!!

I never wished for this. I will make the best from it and I will persevere but there was NO day I EVER wished for this "freedom".

My husband and my daughter were my world.

I'm so sorry if you are wishing it all away.

I could speculate what more I would have in my life now but it would be pointless because what I would be giving up is someone to share it with.

No thanks

Gigi, you sound very young. As you get older you will realize there is nothing carefree or simple about this question. You will also realize the only rude answer is yours. It has nothing to do with loving your family more or less. It is growing up and realizing that who you are, what you become, what you will become is defined by the people you love and care for. Remove them from the equation and who you would be is not someone you would be able to define. So get back to us when you aren't so wet behind the ears and tell us if you still think we are the rude ones.

Oh and I really! really hope you weren't making your dig at TF! Lose a spouse suddenly and it also changes your perspective. I can't even imagine how her life was turned upside down.

Well, I didn't get married the first time until I was 30. So I guess I was "free" for awhile.

I went to college but didn't graduate. I started working and ended up in a good position and stayed for 15 years. I bought my own home when I was 23 and had new cars. I was very active in my church and with my friends.

Now that I'm older and wiser (LOL) I think it would be probably the same but with some added volunteer work and travel.

I'm basically a homebody at heart and don't have big desires to travel the world. I appreciate a comfortable home, reliable car and a handful of great friends.

Life is what you make it. When you are young and single, you think of all kinds of things to do and some you do try out and some you don't. Yes, it is great to travel but traveling by yourself is no fun and you have no one to share the wonder or joy of the location.

You become who you are by your experiences in life all the good and the bad. People know you by what you do or have done. An artist, a seamstress, a painter, a cook, a doctor/lawyer/dentist, volunteering or mom.

I once thought about taking a freighter around the world to see the sights but not now too many pirates. But that was the only big thing I wanted to do.

My hat is off to TF for finding herself after her deep loss. She is not the same person and has a new lifestyle that many people do not experience besides military or law enforcement families. She is one of my champions on this site and always has a wise response to others.

Dreams are dreams. You would have to put a date and time to them to make them real.

the other S.

I think I would be a lot less happy. I wouldn't have my best friend to wake up with every morning, or the hugs I get from my sweet boy. Not likely I'd have the best kitties in the world, dear Milton and Lulu, either.

I'd likely be still living in the studio apartment kitty-corner from the pallet factory, listening to their loud Tejano music and hearing the air-guns nailing pallets together. Still likely working as a nanny or at a preschool, but with a more sore back at this point because that work is wearing on a body. I'd have more time to read and write, but I just can't---don't want to!-- imagine my life without my family. It seems a lonely and horrible fate.

Sorry. I don't want to be "totally" free. I love my husband and kids. They ADD to my life.

Not sure what I would be doing but I think I would be pretty lonely. I feel with all my heart that I was meant to be a mom. I haven't found that same passion for any other "job", so far.

I am not sure where I would be right now, but I imagine it would be lonely without the love of my family around me.

Totally free? I'm confused by this question.

I CHOSE to get married. I CHOSE to be a mom to three amazing kids. I CHOOSE to give them all of me as often as possible, and to share life experiences with them. Everything I do is better because of them. One day the kids will grow up and move out. Tomorrow is never guaranteed.

When I was a kid I alwyas thought about what I "wanted to be when I grew up."
(man...why do people always ask kids that?)
You know what I always said?
I wanted to be a mother and a wife. I never wanted to be single. I wanted a family.

I'd be traveling, and traveling some more. I think I would also have lived in various countries.

If I was "totally free" of my family I would be miserable. I do not want a life without my husband and my children! They are the life I wanted. Now, that's not to say that I don't like having some free time here and there and don't need it now and again.

My life would be a lot quieter and I would actually have time to do something I want to do.

It would be different but I'm not sure it would be more or less care 'free'.
I'd be more chained to my career - traveling for it, perpetually updating education for it, chasing after a position where being over 50 doesn't get you laid off.
Being in the rat race/on the tread mill/in the salt mines - I'm not saying I didn't enjoy my career but it had an incredible similarity to the Dilbert comic strip.
I work to live - I don't live to work.

Things I'd like to do when I'm retired - go beach combing on Sanibel Island every once in awhile (not every year but every few years), put together a mural (like 4 ft by 6 ft) jigsaw puzzle (my eyes will probably be too shot to manage that one once I get there), take up stained glass classes again and learn how to work with hypertufa (make toad homes and planters), take a yoga class, and basket weaving and making things out of wooden pallets.
Hubby wants to do more fishing.
Once I'm really feeble I can play WarCraft and take extended jaunts into cyber space.
Of course since we do have a son, seeing him when his college/job/family life permits is on our list too.

What a fun question. If I didn't have any kids, I would definitely try to travel more. I would also do more volunteering. I'm not a cook, but I love trying out new recipes so I would probably do that more. I would eat out more -- try new restaurants.

I don't get why people are taking the time to answer your fun carefree silly question with rudeness. I'm sorry they chose to read and answer the question in a judgmental way.

If I was "free" right now, I'd be on a beach somewhere. I would still be traveling for work. I would spend my money on ridiculous things. I would sneak into abandoned places to take photos without the fear of being arrested. I would worry less and drink more. AND, none of that means I love my family or life any less. Lighten up people.

Yes! I would definitely be traveling like you. I would probably end up focusing more on my photography and making a living out of it, traveling to Africa and all kinds of places to shoot wildlife for National Geographic. I would also be able to up and move whenever I felt like it without feeling my choices are disrupting someone else's life. In my free time, I would take up a lot of vocational courses like guitar, dance, vocal lessons, painting, piano, etc., and become a connoisseur.

I would stay in different countries for a few years, learn new languages, new customs, etc., and see new landscapes. I have a friend who does this and he speaks several languages. He is also very cultured and worldly and I envy him for that. He has seen beautiful sights and landscapes that I hope to see someday, though I am not sure if I will have the time and money for that.

At one time, I was hoping to become a sailor, and join a crew that sails around the world in historical vessels. I probably would live more for adventure than I currently do because I would not worry that I have a child who is relying on me to stay safe and raise her, so I guess you could say I would also be somewhat more reckless because no one would be needing me.

As to my choice of dwelling, I would either live in a cottage out in the mountains, or on a houseboat. I am not giving up on all my dreams though, I plan to travel more in the future, and to someday move out of South Florida and get a cute little cottage or live on a boat. Yes, I am a bit crazy.

If I didn't have kids I would do more field work (biology research where you are out in a field camp or working on a boat) and be gone more. I would be free to take jobs in different places and I would probably travel more. I could keep up with scuba diving and do more big trips such as planning to climb a mountain or a backpacking trip. I would not have stayed home some years and worked part time other years, so my career would be more amazing. But honestly, I am very happy where I am in life right now and I love doing small adventures with my husband and kids. I don't have any regrets. But I DID do all these amazing things in my 20s and early 30s before I had kids. I can see how someone who had kids when they were young might think they have missed something.