Internet Affairs

I haven't been through it, but I can so understand were your coming from. It seems like more of an emotional affair then "just sex". It's easy to just up and leave, but it does take alot a guts to try and make it work. There are kids involved, but don't loose sight of yourself. You can't live in a marriage "for the sake of the kids" that is loveless and cold. It will do them no good long term.

You need to go through counselling, it's not going to get fixed with just the 2 of you working on it. There was an underlining problem that caused him to start the online affair. That needs to get addressed and fixed or it will just happen again.

Good Luck and stay strong!

I have gone through something similar. I found a bunch of e-mails from my husband to another woman. That was actually when I was pregnant with my daughter. I didn't leave him because I was 1 week from my due date and didn't know what to do. About a year and a half later I found some evidence that he may have been IMing another girl. We had both decided that we were getting a divorce. To make a long story short, I took a pregnncy test before packing up because I had been trying to get pregnant, and found out I was pregnant. After that still didn't know for sure what was going to happen, and ended up having a miscarriage. We have become so close because of that tragedy, now we are staying together. I too have all of his passwords and everything now. If I catch anything like that again, I'm not sticking around and he knows it. I don't know if that helps at all, but atleast you know you are not alone.

I'm so sorry to hear that you've been going through this. I had a friend go through something similar a few years ago, and in the end, it did end their marriage. But from what I saw, I think it was obvious that he wasn't willing to address their problems, and no one can fix a marriage on their own. I strongly suggest counseling; try to sort out what got him to the point of acting like this, and work together on deciding what you can do to ensure nothing like this happens again.

I'm so sorry, and I hope things are better from here on out!

Oh, J.! I am so sorry you are going through this. I just recently went through it myself. Here...is my story....My husband and I went through some major stress and he even said we were going to get divorced back in January. Then suddenly things got better and he even got me a new wedding ring. Come to find out, he cheated on me with one of his co workers. Apparently he went out for drinks with her one night after work and dropped her at home.....and it happened. So he was basically trying to make it up to me prior to me finding out. I thought things were over and forgave him. But then found out that he got put minutes on one of our old cell phones without telling me to talk with he outside of work behind my back. I also found out that they were emailing each other too and read the emails....and confronted him. I told him that if it didn't stop, I wanted a divorce. I was crying alot and totally stressed out and unable to focus on my job. I truly didn't want our marriage over, but I was tired of being lied too when I was the one at home taking care of his kids and here he is talking to someone else in a "inappropriate" manner. Well, the next morning, he gave the other cell phone to a Tanzanian student who baby sits for us, changed his cell phone number, and gave me all his email passwords and online cell password to prove they were no longer speaking. He even copied me into an email stating to her that he no longer wants anything to do with her and to stop contacting her. And funny as it may be, she emailed me and said that he told her she was psycho and if he ever tried to even talk to her at work, she'll let me know. I told him this is his last chance. If I find out anything again, its over. But ONLY because he made all those changes and has stuck to it, did I forgive him. Even though we have kids, if he isn't willing to give up the relationship, he obviously doesn't love you enough. And even though I NEVER thought I'd go through this with MY husband......Its oddly made our relationship stronger and I've also realized some things about myself that I've also needed to make changes on for a long time. So whatever you decide, good luck to you! But know that if you stick it out for the kids...you'll do what we were which is arguing all the time etc. Do it because its the right thing to do...for you....if he is willing to change.
Liz