Is It Normal to Let My Husband Share a Room with a Single Mom and Her Son?

Updated on June 27, 2017
G.F. asks from Cedar, MI
18 answers

My husband and 6 year old son are going to a state bmx race a few hours away this weekend and he was going to drive their with a single mom and her son. Today he tells me that they will be sharing a hotel room overnight. Should I be pissed about my husband sharing a room with another woman and her kid?

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D.B.

answers from Boston on

I'd be a lot more pissed off that he just informed you of this, that he made his plans with her before discussing them with you. That's a red flag.

Why aren't you going along? Is this a 2-room suite with separate bedrooms and a sitting area in between? If each parent is in a separate room with their own child, I don't see that it's much different than having, say, connecting rooms or even different rooms (after all, the kids go to sleep early). But again, he made plans with someone else without even including you. So you have more to be upset about than the room itself.

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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

That is not appropriate, and to be honest I would, at this point, either plan on going with or not allowing him to go. The fact he seemed to think it was okay is concerning.

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J.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

Your husband shouldn't even have asked this. Of course it is not okay.

Ask your husband if he would be okay with you spending the night in a hotel room with another dad and child?

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S.B.

answers from Houston on

Why aren't you going is my question. I would tell hubby I'm going as well.

To answer your question. Yes, I would be pissed that my husband and child were sharing a room with another woman and her child. Do you know this woman?

This doesn't pass the smell test.

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B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

"Is it normal to let my husband share a room with a single mom and her son? "
No.
"Should I be pissed about my husband sharing a room with another woman and her kid?"
Yes.
'Surprise' him and tell him you are going with him and son to the event.
Don't lie about it - really drop everything and go.
See if room/driving plans change.
I learned last year what happens at hotel rooms when the kids are busy at events.
Things aren't always so innocent and sometimes people you trust lie right to your face.

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D..

answers from Miami on

You need to go with him. The fact that he sprung this on you without even asking you how you felt about it means that he is testing the waters with you to see what he can get away with. Don't allow it. If you weren't going because of work, tell your boss you have a family crisis involving your husband and you must miss work this weekend.

This will tell your husband that he cannot take advantage of you. You need to do this.

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M.G.

answers from Portland on

If you don't think it's ok - then it's not. Not sure why people ask these kinds of questions. Sorry - don't mean to sound critical - but why do people doubt if it's ok to feel a certain way?

I would not be ok with my husband doing this. He would never do this.

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W.W.

answers from Washington DC on

Welcome to mamapedia, G..

Why do you need to ask others if you should be pissed about this?

1. Do you trust your husband?
2. WHY do they need to share a room?
a. if it's to save money? I'd laugh.
b. WHO is sleeping in which bed?

I personally would say no to this. Not because I don't trust my husband. but 4 people to ONE bathroom is TIGHT.

You need to figure out how YOU feel about this. this is YOUR marriage. NOT mine. I have NO clue about your relationship. NO clue if there's reason to distrust your husband.

But really? I wouldn't want to share a room sorry - that's just too crowded for one bathroom. I'd fork over the $100 to get a room.

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T.F.

answers from Dallas on

Why are you not going? Seems like a fun family weekend activity!

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A.D.

answers from Minneapolis on

No, it's not normal at all. I would be pissed. But perhaps the boys are friends, maybe your husband is just trying to be nice, but is clueless in this situation. If you can go, I'd tell him that after some thought, you have decided to go with them to see the race and enjoy the hotel stay as well, so he needs to tell the other family will have to get their own room. If the mom and son need a ride? Call her up, introduce yourself and tell her you've decided to go. I would tell her you will take 2 cars if you have them, and offer ride space for her and her son if they still need it. Pause here, because maybe she will decide to find another option. If you can't go, tell your husband that sharing a room with another woman is not OK with you, EVEN if they both are there with kids. I hope he respects you enough to simply change direction and make his own arrangements and not try to push the issue and continue on with this plan.

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K.G.

answers from Fort Myers on

I would be afraid of the boys insisting on sharing a bed. If the single mom can't afford to be traveling and this sport, then her son needs to pick a new sport that doesn't require traveling and is cheaper.

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M.6.

answers from New York on

Of course he just told you. He realized today that if he didn't, your son would as soon as they got back. If my husband was traveling with let's say my best girlfriend and her child, honestly I wouldn't bat an eye. Otherwise, this falls under "BIG FAT NO WAY." In addition to the impropriety of the situation, think of the message it is sending to the kids.

I will say that if these two have a "plan," even if they stay in separate rooms in the same hotel, they are still going to get together. The kids will fall asleep eventually . . .

If you can't go with, I guess you can't (maybe you have to work or have some other commitment you can't get out of, but if it is only a couple hours away, why can't you just go up and spend the night?

Good luck!

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C.T.

answers from Santa Fe on

If it were me I would go too...make it a family weekend. I like to join my husband on his hobbies...like when he does races the kids and I tag along and cheer him on at checkpoints. We make a fun trip out of it. How do you and your husband know this other mom? Are you friends? I think it is strange, personally, I would never want to share a hotel room with another dad and his son...that would be awkward. My husband would not want to share his hotel room with another mom either. She should look for another female going or invite a friend...not share a room with someone else's husband.

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M.C.

answers from Chicago on

This is ridiculous. I can't think of any reason why they would not have separate rooms. I also would not be ok with him just springing this on me with no discussion and at the last second. If he were my husband, I would be losing a lot of respect for him instantly for pulling something like this. Just the thought of it kind of creeps me out.

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J.M.

answers from San Francisco on

Yeah, I'd be pissed. This is not OK.

I want to respond to those who are asking why you're not going on this trip. Ladies - maybe G. can't go. Maybe she doesn't want to go. Maybe this is her husband and son's thing that they do together. She shouldn't feel like she has to go in order to keep her husband from doing something dumb. I feel like some of you are saying, "well what do you think is going to happen?" - how stupid. G.'s husband is solely responsible for his choice/actions here.

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E.P.

answers from Tampa on

I guess I'm wondering who the single mom is and how he knows her. Second, why aren't you going with your husband and son? Maybe he is trying to save money, but this is inappropriate. I guess they think the kids being there makes it alright, but it doesn't look good. He won't see it that way, I bet. This could be innocent for now, but it sounds like the start of trouble. If I were you, I would join this trip (unless you have to work) or tell him you are not comfortable with him sharing a room with another woman. I would make friends with this woman real fast too. Invite her over to let the kids play. Let her see you and your husband as a loving couple and parents. It might make her think twice about sharing a room with him.

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R.B.

answers from San Francisco on

I don't think being pissed about it is the solution. You need to decide if you're comfortable with it or not. It's highly unusual, but if you trust your husband and this other woman then I guess they could do it.

If you're not comfortable with it, then you should be able to say to your husband, "Sorry, honey, I know you're trustworthy but I'm just not comfortable with that," and he should be respectful enough to get his own room. If he doesn't care enough to respect your wishes on that, that's a problem. VERY few wives would be comfortable with that, as you can see from the other responses.

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N.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Ummm, yes, that's a problem. But #1, why aren't you going to watch your son and husband in the race?

BMX is fun and a family activity. It's not even hours and hours long. Just a few motos then the Grand. You could spend some time with your guys and this other family.

If you just don't want to go then you could tell your husband to let you make the reservations and that you'd be paying for both rooms. The mom might not have the money to pay for lodging.

BMX isn't an inexpensive sport. With all the gear and race fees it's rather expensive. So perhaps she just doesn't have enough to pay for her own room. In my opinion that would make it where she shouldn't even be considering going. She could let her son go with your husband alone instead.

I would have a super big problem with this unless the woman was openly gay and in a serious relationship. Then I wouldn't care that much.

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