UPDATED!!!! Husband Sharing Hotel Room with Female. Would You Be o.k. with It?

HELL NO!!! I totally trust my husband - but seriously - you don't invite a wolf into the hen house...... My husband would never even suggest something like that.

Can I get another...HELL NO!!!! ok, HELL NO!
Not only hell no, but I'd now be attending that trip! I'd already have my flight booked.

Noooooo!!!! Ditto what everyone else said!!! Trust or not, a good rule of thumb in a marriage is to never do anything or behave in a way that can be construed as inappropriate!!! Not to mention the rumors that would begin at work!!! Bad, bad, bad, bad idea!!!!!!! No way!!

Dear D.-

I would be inclined to give the 'other' hubby a jingle...and see if he is free for drinks/dinner/movie since you will both be 'spouseless' for the trip. I would be MOST interested in HIS reply...as well as YOUR hubbies reaction...lol

Best luck!
michele/cat

If they can't afford their own rooms...they shouldn't be going.

PS: It is crappy for him to even make you have to be the bad guy in saying "no." I think your hubby needs to re-assess his priorities. Additionally...he may want to review how much he likes his job as he is just a few small steps away from some real problems either way. Perception is sometimes much more powerful than reality...

Seriously...you're NOT being insecure or unreasonable. He's being pompous, unreasonable, and a down right jerk. My husband was just reading over my shoulder from the couch and said, "Oh man, what a jerk."

You and your husband have to be very proactive in protecting your marriage. He should know better. Actually, I'm pretty certain he really does know better. If he values your marriage, he won't do this. If you play with fire...
After reading another response just now, I got to thinking. Why don't you tell your husband that you are going to call her husband and ask him if he wants to come spend the weekend with you at your house while they are gone partying in Vegas. You can watch movies, have dinner, drink some wine. He says he thinks these things are perfectly normal and fine. Watch his reaction.

Absolutely NOT! Trust has nothing to do with it. Temptation, temptation, temptation....it doesn't knock lightly, it bangs a door down! You are not being insecure or unreasonable. He better make arrangements to share a room with a man. My husband has gone on business trips with women but he has NEVER shared a room with her. Not ever. I would never be okay with it.

I haven't read the other responses yet, but that gets a hell no, you're not being insecure or unreasonable vote from me. As you said, one of the main things he's going to be doing (and probably the other woman as well) is to be drinking. Then they go to a hotel room and spend the night together, both intoxicated? To me, that's asking for trouble. People do stupid things when they've been drinking. I don't think it's about trusting your husband; I don't think I'd trust myself 100% in that situation. And FWIW, my husband had an appalled look on his face when I read your post to him. He thinks it's an insane idea, as well.

Sorry didn't read other responses, but i had to say something quick about this one...

You tell your husband straight that it is NOT a trust issue. and how dare he classify it as one!! It is merely a matter of respect and the sanctity of marriage and honestly it is an issue of image in his workplace as well. The location of this trip certainly doesn't help things either.

It is also inappropriate to see your co-worker in a towel, nightgown or possibly, accidentally nude (INEVITABLE if they share a room). ESPECIALLY with the drinking! Things only get more loose and less professional when there is alcohol!

He needs to keep his business just THAT: business- it is not professional to share a room with a female co-worker (married or un-married). Period.

No. Not okay.

I am often surprised that people are upset about lunches with female colleagues, because that's par for the course.

This is.....well...it's over the line. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaay over.

(p.s. When I was in college, we used to share coed hotel rooms to save money....that was ALWAYS 3-5 people...there was only ever ONE reason to have 2 members of the opposite sex in ONE room).

first let me say i consider my hubby the most trustworthy man ever. and it STILL would never happen. Nope. No way. No question about it. And if he insisted, I would insist on him canceling the trip altogether.

Do you really need to hear another.... HELL NO!

You stand your ground on this one girl!!

You shouldn't even be having to have this conversation with him. It is inappropriate on so many different levels. Don't let him twist things and make your fault. He's wrong. If he wants to save money on the trip then he needs to find a male co-worker to share a room with. Surely there are other male and female co-workers that will be going on the trip. This shouldn't even be an issue for discussion.

One big "hell no!!!!!"

I would be upset with my husband for even entertaining such an idiotic idea! Absolutely NOT is it ok. How could he even ask you such a stupid thing? No you are not insecure. You are a woman who deserves respect and him sharing a room with another female in LAS VEGAS has nothing to do with trust. It's about respect for your marriage! Who does he think he is?!

Short answer : HELL NO.

So if her husband were going, he would have to pay for his own room, right? well, just tell him to assume her husband was going so he will have to get a room for himself. thing is, he could still do it and you wouldn't know. so i'd be bothered by the fact that this woman is going, that he entertained the idea of sharing a room with her and didn't see anything wrong. hm.

I trust my hubby completely, but there is no way I would want him to stay in a hotel room with another woman!

Well, I don't know what I can say that the other 33 responders haven't. But I will say this, my husband ain't crazy enough to even think about doing something like this let alone "telling" me. Are you kidding me?!

It has nothing to do with being insecure or unreasonable. It is absolutely inappropriate, disrectful and the beginning of something all of you will come to regret. It does not matter what her husband says about it, you can only speak for your own husband and your own marriage. So if her husband says hey "I'll pay the full amount and dude can still share the room with you" it does not make it all better and don't you be deceived or pushed into feeling guilty for standing up for what you feel and believe.

The simple answer: NO. I would be freaked out too. And I have never had a reason to not trust my hubby.

Is there some reason why he can't share a hotel room with a male co-worker instead? Not that that will prevent anything of course, unfortunately. Or that you can't decide to just go yourself?

Otherwise, I would be telling him, "Over my dead body!"

I'm sure I'm mirroring other's thoughts....they are going to VEGAS, (what happens in Vegas...), and they will be drinking...hmmm....tell you husband to do the math.

I'm not big on ultimatums, but if that would be a deal breaker for me-I'd say he can't go. Especially since he doesn't think it's a big deal. I'd also question exactly what might be going on between them-sounds like a good excuse to be naughty, but act like it's all above board.

I trust my husband implicitly.

That said, he would also never even think of such a thing, unless the woman were his sister. Paying for two single rooms is the (obviously) better choice. Even if your husband keeps his act together, if they are drinking, who's to say what his "roommate" might do or how she might act. I'm not fond of having hung-over/drunk-sick roommates, myself. Not fun.

And if YOU have a problem with it, he needs to man up and change plans with this person. Personally, I think this is an area that required him to ask first, not *tell you*, about the idea before deciding on a plan with another person he's not married to.

If he can't see your concern and understand your feelings, maybe he needs a trip to the marriage counselor to help build that bridge. But No, D., you are not being insecure or unreasonable. I think he's got the monopoly on the latter, IMO.

H.

I don't think I've ever seen a question with 94 answers! Here's # 95... NO FREAKIN WAY.

I'm the odd one. I wouldn't mind, though I strongly suggest he think about the appearance of impropriety. If it were a bunch of old friends, no big deal. But co-workers, doesn't sound professional. Its fraternization, case could be made for sexual harassment.

But everyone has there own comfort level. If you simply state, "I am uncomfortable and would prefer you get your own room or share with a male." If he is resistant, that speaks volumes.

NO WAY!!!! I trust my hubby 100% but it's still not ok for a married man to share a hotel room with another woman (except maybe his sister!!).
And if he went ahead with it he'd be finding out his key no longer worked in the front door when he returned.
**edit** I just asked my hubby what he thought about this situation and he laughed!! He said he was crazy for even entertaining the idea and that he actually *told* you he was going to do this is just disrespectful.

I want to add another HELL NO I would not be ok with it. I wonder which one suggested it... her or your husband. If she suggested it, she clearly has no respect for her own spouse or for you. And if your husband suggested it.... well...he's a jerk.

If you tell him not to do it and he says he won't, how do you know for sure they won't just share a room when they get out there and not tell anybody? The whole thing sounds fishy to me. I would book a ticket for the trip immediately. Even if I hated Vegas.

Oh my, I generally have a very 'man like' attitude about traveling husbands and female coworkers, but yeah, I gotta jump on the band wagon this time, what in the world?!

Does he think this would be a favorable arrangement since he 'discussed' it with you and thereby has nothing to hide?

Unless said female is openly gay, no, this is just a very bad idea, jeesh!!

:)

No and no. I would go because drinking could lead to other things even when they each have a room. Just don't hang out with all of them - go to a spa, eat at the buffets, have your own fun and then have wild vegas sex with your husband at night so he cannot think of anything else.

Answer #99

You are being perfectly level headed about this.

People do stupid things when they drink. It would not matter if you knew this woman - no-one should place themselves in this type of position. I think it smacks of disrespect for you and your marriage.

Show your hubby this post and tell him that the Moms have "voted" and he needs to make other sleeping arrangements.

Hugs.

I can certainly understand why you would be uncomfortable--but my husband and I both traveled to academic conferences while in grad school (ie we were footing the bill ourselves and were always looking for ways to cut costs) and shared rooms with people of the opposite sex. Although it's clearly different, for a number of years I shared the bed with a friend of mine who was a lesbian (rather than sharing the bed with a guy). And, in our relationship it isn't a big deal. I'm not exactly sure why it's not, but it isn't. I definitely trust my husband, but for me it's something deeper than that and I'm having trouble articulating it; it's just the way I see the world. I guess I don't feel like I own my husband and I trust him to make thoughtful decisions and act out of love for me and he treats me similarly. Also, I've never been cheated on and I've never cheated on anyone so maybe it's just outside the realm of normal for me...but I can see I'm clearly in the minority here...and you should do what you're comfortable with. I just wanted to add a counter to the current line of thinking.

I realize I'm in the minority, but I am not sure how much I would care. Then again, I also can't imagine my husband suggesting that he do this. Maybe I'm wrong and were it ever to happen I would feel exactly like you do, who knows?
But regardless of how I feel, you are uncomfortable with the situation, and you have expressed this to your husband. His response should have been, "Ok, I'll make other arrangements."

You need to go with him. If for nothing else then to meet this woman and see how they act together. Don't bury your head in the sand about this one. Even if it is nothing now, Vegas and drinks may not lead to the best judgement once they come back to the room. Good luck.

You said it yourself: They're there to drink and gamble. And drink. Even if both he and she were saints and devoted spouses, enough alcohol can fuzz anyone's judgement.

The fact he is even considering this, and that he not only considered it but booked it as a done deal without so much as asking you, indicates your marriage needs a good counselor. Before Vegas. And he shouldn't go at all if he values your marriage.

That is just absurd. I wasn't sure I read the title of your post correctly at first! Ridiculous. I see no need to save money here. I mean, come on, they are going there for fun and to drink and gamble and whatnot. This is not a supersaver trip! The saving money thing is a joke. I cannot believe your husband and the woman actually thought this would go over with no questions or complaints??? I would be tempted to tell him that if he goes, just to stay there. The fact that he even had the nerve to bring this up is just the beginning. This will not go away with just a yes or no answer.

He's out of his flipping mind.

uh no - he is obviously either having/thinking of having an affair.
sorry

NO! You just stated they go to DRINK and gamble! This is only asking for trouble......... I think he needs to give up this annual trip and you guys take a mini FAMILY vacation instead.

And I suggest going to talk to a Pastor for some couple counseling! NO husband should be doing this!

Plain and simple... NO!
The real question is ... Why wouldnt it be a problem??

I'll add another no...

Very inappropriate, and no way would I agree to that.

No way. Never. Let's see - away from home, drinks, fun, more drinks,... Nope.

Honestly, in this type of situation, I wouldn't trust MYSELF to share a room with a man, so why would I be ok with him doing it.

HELL NO!!!!

And I think you should let him read all these responses.

You know your husband, I do not.

I know I'm in the extreme minority, and I like to save money when I can. In my case, I would be completely comfortable with my husband sharing a hotel room with a female. He did once, many years ago, it was some work thing when we were in the process of moving here.

Skimmed the other responses, and I'm one of three that wouldn't really care. Not surprising, I know it's not normal.

nah, I think if you trust your husband that's not the issue. But there is still an issue of propriety. It's just inappropriate. It just looks bad. Or looks fishy, or weird, or whatever. I'd say, no.

Especially if you've never met the woman. You have NO idea what she's like. This woman is willing to leave her husband to go have fun in Vegas with her male co-workers and even share a room (and bathroom?) with one of them. What's her deal?

I think it might be a little different if you had met the woman, spent time with her and knew what she was all about. But even then... like I said, it's just inappropriate. My husband has a good friend (female) from back in high school and they even lived together for 2 years in college. She's married, we're married, she actually lives a few streets up from us now. They sometimes get together to ski or hang out without her husband and without me. I'm cool with that, I know there is nothing there, BUT... it always makes me feel kinda weird! Not becuase of trust, it's just, strange... to think of my husband going out of his way to spend time with a woman who's not ME :) But he has a great friendship with her, and so do I now, so I'm glad he keeps it going.

This is totally different though! A woman you don't know, overnight, close quarters... You're not ok with it, so don't be bullied into pretending you are. Hold firm.

NO WAY!! And personally...I am shocked that he and the woman even considered doing it...much let talked to their spouses about it!! Talk about playing with fire!!
Rooms are reasonable enough in Las Vegas ( they make the rooms cheap so you can have money left over to gamble!!) that it shouldnt be a problem for each of them to pay for their own room.
To me this is just ridiculous...shame on them both!!

As of right now... it looks like you have 35 NO'S!!! Print it out and show hubby so far we all have said NO.

Good Luck!

I realize you have heard from a lot of people but I couldn't help putting my two cents in. I live in Vegas. You do know our slogan is "what happens here stays here!" When people are visiting Vegas, it feels like one big party. That puts people in a mind that they can do things here that they would NEVER do at home. You husband might be going into this with a clear head, but get here, without his spouse, add in the free alcohol and the party atmosphere and watch out. If you do choose to come, there are lots of activities you can avail yourself of. Just checking out the casinos on the strip and the incredible shopping can occupy alot of time. There are also attractions at the hotels like Shark Reef, Sigfried & Roy's Secret Garden that are nice to visit. Check out vegas.com for a list of lots of things "non gambling and non drinking" that you two can do together.

Best of luck,

M.

There is absolutely no way in hell that would happen in my house. I would tell your husband that you don't mind spending the extra money on a hotel room for just him only. If you were going you woud be spening that anyway.

No No No! You are not insecure or unreasonable! He should not be sharing a room with another women, wither married or not. Even if you have the best marriage ever, its still not a good idea at all. Stick to your guns about this!

No WAY!!! That seems like an inappropriate move to allow this on his company's part to allow them to share a room. I am sure there are other men and women, whether he knows them or not, that the two can share same gender rooms with. Also, you never know who can scream sexual harassment!!!

Put you foot down and say no! Good grief! I feel bad for you to even have to deal with this!

p.s. I just told my husband and he said exactly what I said - that it is inappropriate for the company to allow. He said it would not matter even if the woman was MUCH older than he is he would NEVER share a room with a female co-worker.

No I would not be okay with it at all. You are not unreasonable. They need to change these plans.

No. and No.
My husband would be the one to say forget that idea. He would never even entertain an idea like that. Seriously. He respects me AND the institution of marriage and would never knowingly put himself in a position of either temptation like that, or of potential harm (the other person trying something, or lying about it, or rumors being spread by others, etc).

No. If he wants to go that badly, then he can suck it up and pay for the room on his own. Maybe he'll get lucky and win enough to come out even after paying for his room.
Same for her. If she wants to go so badly, surely she finds it worth it to pay full price for a single room.

Added after your SWH:
I'd say you and your husband ROCK. You guys talked out your issues (with a little help) and came to a decision that you are both satisfied with, and maybe even solidified your marriage a little more than it already was!
Rock on!

inappropriate all the way.

Like the other ladies have said, it's not about you not trusting him or you being insecure... It's the fact that he's going to be drinking, and just not thinking clearly. Sending a drunk man into a hotel room with a woman and telling him not to have sex is like giving money to a kid, sending him/her into a candy store, and telling him/her that he/she can't buy any candy.

Oh my gosh, I've never seen so many answers. I would never in a million years let my husband do that. Even if they think nothing will go on, IT WILL, trust me. After a few drinks and fun, they probably would hop in the sack together. Even if they don't, they should not be doing this. Do not let him. I can't believe he even wants to do this. (Well, being a guy, I can see how he wants to do it, but if he's true to your marriage, he should NOT do this!)

That is totally inappropriate. Who knows, she could have very well told husband she's sharing a room with a female. Sounds like the start of an affair if ones not already happening. There's a reason why most affairs occur in the workplace. Other than home this is where the most time is spent. I hope this is not the Case.

I trust my husband 100% but I don't know this woman and who knows if she will be parading around in her underwear. So my answer would be a NO it inappropriate.

I even asked my husband this question and he even said that it was inappropriate for them to share a room.

Your not being unreasonable.
I wouldn't want my fiance sharing a room with a woman I didn't know either.

I believe this is the 2nd UNANIMOUS response that I have ever seen on mamapedia that everyone agrees HELL NO

I hope this is a joke!!!!!

NEVER..... Unless it was family. I would be going with, even if you didnt feel like going. I would go just so there would be no option for them to stay together. Good luck.

Another HELL NO! here... and if he did it anyway, he would find me gone when he got back.

If the company has been going to Las Vegas for several years they should have a "block room rate" which means they can or could get a room for less than the usual amount listed. In fact he could even get one that is for a single instead of two (I did this for a MLM I was involved in) and had a good time. So there are other ways to get around having a woman in the room.

Do what you must to make sure all is well at your home. Go to a show or two while he has his company meetings. There are other places to go besides the strip in Vegas. If you have any hobbies check out where their supply places are and go there and get things. How about a nice day at the spa? That would be something I have always wanted to do while in Vegas.

You will sort it out.

The other S.

PS The place has changed quite a bit since I lived there almost 30 years ago.

Depends on what she looks like :) He's being honest - he could have lied to you. It just really depends on your trust level and what you think of her... My husband has traveled the world with his female reporter (he is a videographer) and I NEVER once had an issue with whatever their sleeping arrangements were. She wasn't his type at all.

I trust my husband too, but it just seems wrong to share a room with a female when you're married. I'm sure nothing would happen, but that's not the point. If you feel that strongly about it he shouldn't go - room cost is not a good enough reason to share!

What a good hubby to accept that he made a mistake and changed his decision. That's great that you two were able to resolve the issue!! I would definitely not be okay with that situation, so I'm glad it's not something you'll have to worry about. :)

No, you are being SMART & protecting your marriage. You don't know anything about this woman & if her marriage is a solid or crumbling one & your husband probably doesn't either. It would be foolish of him to share a room with any woman other than you. Situations happen with people that they don't plan all the time whether they're married or not, but it is a bigger risk when you're sleeping & showering in the same room & it is only the two of you. I have seen a couple of my friends' marriages that I thought were "rock solid" fall apart, because one of them put themselves into a "borderline" situation & temptation got the best of them & they had an affair. It devastated the marriages & the families. Stick to your guns! Tell him you love him & that you are just protecting your marriage. Let him know that it's not that you don't trust him, but that you don't know her & don't want him in a compromising position. Hope this encourages you!

NOOOO!!!!!! absolutely not, no way, never would I go for that. haha. NO!

Um.... NO.

Would he then let you share a room with another man? At a hotel room?

Um, NO.

This is so not okay... unless it was his sister or aunt or grandma... or his own Mom.

Um, NO.... I would not allow my Husband to do that....
AND what the HECK... does this woman's HUSBAND think of it?

SHOW your Husband... the responses you get here...

No way, it was improper of him to even ask. The only way it would be even remotely ok would be if there was going to a big group of people sharing the same room, and even then I would be iffy if any of them were female. It is not about trusting him, he is asking you to trust a woman you do not know, and also it would just look so inappropriate. I would say no way!

No No No No No No. You do not need to explain this to your husband, he already knows. He sounds angry - is he hurt that you are not going? He may have been relying on your support and "team" playing. This is an easy way to hurt you back. You may not want to go to Vegas, but you may need to take one for the "team". Ask yourself, which decision will make for a stronger marriage. (I have had to make similar decisions and it has been amazing how much has come out of it. I know this is hard!) Establish some ground rules before you leave. Like, you'd also like to see a show or have dinner alone one night (A night out! In a hotel! Away from the kids!!) Meet each other midway and remember you stand together looking at this problem, and you love each other. The hotel room is just a nonsense and not the issue ; )

NOT A CHANCE IN HELL ! !!! and I trust my DH completely! It's the other woman, the Bright lights of Vegas and Alcohol that I WOULD NOT TRUST :-)
Please Stand your ground on this with him.

wow I'm #100 , i havent read Most of them, But I assume all of us feel the same way as you........

You SO need to go to Las Vegas this year. consider it important to your marriage which is important to your children. Please go! Enjoy being with your hubby, get tickets to a show or two and please tell me about the fun you had there, I could use a vicarious trip to Vegas I think we get so busy being moms we forget to take time to be wives.

Hell no. You get on that plane. ESPECIALLY with alcohol involved, that is out of the question. I'm mad and its not even my husband.
Years ago when I was dating, this did come up. I was working 13 hours a day 7 days a week for 6 weeks out of town and staying in a hotel. My boss called me 2 days before we went and asked if I would be able to drive a guy out (same part of town as me, didn't have a ride that would get him that far safely). I said yes and met the guy. We got along well and briefly thought about sharing a room. But neither of us were married and he was working 6am to 7pm everyday, and I was working 6pm to 7am every day. Even though we were both unmarried, we both were dating and obviously came to the conclusion that it would be improper to ask our gf/bf ----wouldn't even ASK.
And one more thing: the money they would supposedly be saving on their spouses not going (food, drinks, gambling, events, plane ticket, whatever) would be enough to splurge on their own rooms. I honestly wouldn't trust them to get their own rooms now even if you put your foot down. I'm very sorry. But if I were in your situation, I'd get on the plane or he wouldn't be going. And counseling isn't a bad thing.

Seriously?! There isn't a female co-worker that she can share a room with? I would think it would be worth a little extra cost to avoid a potentially disastrous situation...

Is there really a chance that OTHER husband is going to be ok with HIS wife sharing a hotel room with YOUR husband? This is just all sorts of wrong! Your hubby and his co-worker are kidding themselves that this is at all appropriate. Bad, bad idea all around, IMO, therefore, I join the many, many previous posters who said "HELL NO"!

I am a very secure person - both personally and in my marriage. There is no way I would feel comfortable with my husband sharing a room with a woman I don't know.

It sounds to me like he's TRYING to push your buttons to see what you'll do.

The bottom line is you can't STOP him. I mean, how would you really know if he shared the room and didn't tell you?

I think it's a bigger problem if he doesn't respect your POV. Seems to me like he's trying to pick a fight.

Not even close!
Um, I'd be making my reservation about now. Obviously, your husband is either clueless in thinking that you would or should be okay with this, or there is something more going on (I'd like to think that isn't the case).
I agree with the poster that said go and find other things to do when they are gambling or drinking (like soaking in a kid-free bathtub with a good book!). If you have family that will babysit, go and spend some time with your husband and get a little peace and quiet to boot...or at least a little piece of mind.

I have very close guy friends at work for years and could share a room no problem. BUT, my husband knows them and knows there's no attraction on either side. I'd explain to your husband a big part of the issue is you don't know her. I would want to see her. If she's really unattractive and I had heard my husband often and for quite awhile in the past make little comments about her being annoying or something, I could deal with it. Otherwise, nope.

when i first read this my reaction was "OH MY GOSH" No way in hell i would let my husband share another room with a women even though i trust him. There going to be drinking and one thing can lead to another. And who knows this women may be sleeping in her brawl and panties in front of him not acceptable. I would tell your husband either your getting your own hotel room or slip one with another male co worker. Even if you decided to go you would be still paying for the whole hotel room so he should just get his own hotel room.

No, No, NO! I don't care how great you and your hubby's relationship is with him being in Vegas, while drinking and then going to bed that night in the same room as another woman that is just asking for trouble. I can't even believe he would think this is ok. There is only one right answer here and it is black and white. HELL NO!

Whoa, so many great answers, I couldn't read them all. But my two cents is that this is not about trusting your husband. We are all human and we are all tempted at one point or another in life. Doing this just put the opportunity and temptation right there in front of him. Men (and women) but mostly men have this almost animalistic caricaturistic when it comes to sex. Mammals aren't meant to be monogamous. This situation, and add in drinking, is a recipe for disaster. I'm sure your husband is faithful and really doesn't believe anything will happen, but when your in the moment and while drinking and judgment is impared, it may actually be physically impossible for him to say no. That's just how men work. It would take a very strong man to say no to a naked women that is right in front of them in a room with a bed. I'm not saying that is what would happen, but it very well COULD happen. Why would he want to put himself in a situation where something like that could happen. I'm sure he thinks he's strong enough to resist, but let's be real, most are not. Especially when they are around their buddies. You know how macho men can be when around other men. They don't want to look like a wuss. That's a lot of pressure right there. My Husband was a very wonderful, faithful husband. Then he went to Vegas with a childhood friend drank too much, a girl was throwing herself at him and he cheated. He wasn't able to resist, especially that they were drinking, drunk actually. Vegas does that to you. It makes you feel like anything goes when your there. I hate it there too. I say you go with. I know you don't want to but something that can change your whole life can happen if you don't. :) Good luck and I really hope this works out for you and what happened to me doesn't happen to you.

No way! Vegas breeds bad behavior anyway. If he offers to stay home if you don't go take him up on it, or go with him to save your marriage. Even if they aren't sharing a room people end up in other people's rooms all the time, especially when they have been drinking. Good luck!

Well, it's not like you don't already have a million responses, but just to add to it:
No way!!!!
R.

Nope nope nope. Even if nothing would happen, I don't think it's appropriate for them to do that. It's just not a situation they should put themselves into.

I ditto Sammy's response below.

I would be very upset too.

Unreasonable???? Seriously, I cannot even believe that he would even THINK you would be ok with this. I don't know anyone that would. It is completely innapropriate really. I hope that he is more respectful of you than this would indicate.

You know what though-you aren't going to have to worry about it b/c no way in hell will her husband let her do this. If they do end up doing this I would make sure that he knows also-there is a chance that she won't tell him. Call him because you "can't locate them" and spill the beans.

One last thing....my spidey sense would be going off here sorry to say. This is just so out of the usual I would wonder if something more IS happening. If I were you I would do some investigating.

No, I would not allow it even if I trusted my husband tons. It's just not right, especially with co-workers.

D., I would not be OK with it. My husband travels a lot, and even though I do trust him, I still get insecure when he is out with his coworkers god knows where and with whom. Why does he have to share a room with a female co-worker and not male one? Can he do that? And how come that female co-worker did not tell her husband about it? So, my very straight answer is---I would not be OK with it, and I would try to explain that to my husband.

I would not like it at all espscially when you said they like to drink what if one thing leads to another? Even if you do trust your husband is it worth the stress on you wondering what are they doing?Are there nother women going she can split the price with?It just sounds fishy to me like he wants you to say no.

Hi D.,

H to the No for me! Do you know the female co-worker? Since when does your husband tells you things and not asks? Is this the first time? Just curious. Maybe its all innocent but with the booze and the general "anything happens in Vegas mentality" I wouldn't trust that the situation couldn't get out of hand. Good luck!

No way in hell. vegas, no spouses, shared hotel room, just asking for trouble.

Is he for real?? No way would I be ok with this and I would think it would look really bad to the bosses if they got wind of the fact 2 married colleages were going to be sharing a room. Totally unprofessional!!! Also, no matter how good of friends they are what if this woman drank too much and came on to your husband and he turned her down? She could accuse him of anything and his reputation would be ruined for a $150. "Hell has no wrath like a woman scorned"...
Not sure if your husband is just stupid or if he thinks you are.

Absolutely not o.k.!!! You should probably reconsider your decision not to go.

And another, "Hell no!"

You may be a bit insecure but he is being totally unreasonable. Absolutely not!

You are NOT being unreasonable. That scenario no matter how trustworthy your hubby is, is a set up for disaster! I would rather pay the difference and have him have his own room than share with a woman that I don't know etc. Thats crazy. Innapropriate. There aren't enough spaces to say how wrong that is. Tell him no and that its not that you don't trust him, you don't trust HER! Best wishes....

Molly

I personally would NOT be ok with that. I am sure there are other people he can split the cost of the room with or choose not to split the room at all. Am I right when I say that this isn't even a business trip, but a vacation for him? It is not even the fact that you don't trust him, it is a matter of principal. It makes you uncomfortable, so he shouldn't do it. He is your husband, he is responsible for making you feel secure and happy in the relationship and vice versa. He shouldn't even want to cause that type of drama and make you feel like that. It is totally unnecessary for him to do this and I am wondering why he would even think this is ok? I think pretty much any woman would feel that this is NOT ok, especially since it is un work related and you don't even know this woman! You say that all they do is gamble and drink, and we all know the consequences of too much alcohol. He should totally respect how you feel. If I were you I would go along..lol.

Never I would be the one offended he would even suggest that. It's not about being insecure or how much you trust him it's just totally inappropriate .

Not a shot! They may have good intentions to keep it platonic, and they may be able to pull that off, but not worth the risk. Even if there was no risk, its just not appropriate. I don't care who this woman is or if she married, or how long they've known each other, if you know her or not. Its just not a good idea. And NO shot in hell would your hubby be ok with it if it were you. He may think that, but if it came down to it I doubt he really would be. And if he was, then there is a problem, cause he shouldn't be! I also doubt that her husband is going to be ok with it either. Like another M. said, they are kidding themselves.

No, I do not think you are being unreasonable or insecure. I'm sure that if he is going with some people from work then he may have a choice to share a room with one of his male co workers, but choses to keep the room with her...You see? I would be the same way;)..

You have every right not to be ok with this.I would tell him no matter the cost you get your own private room,now having said that will he just do it anyway (sahre the room with co-worker) there is noway to know for sure that they might screw just saying they are in Vegas to gamble & drink so they may have a few to many & without their SO's there to help them out they may fall into eachothers arms & one thing leads to another now i'm not in favor of the it just happened scenario not one bit because the actions you took previous to it just happened could of been very well prevented...

NO WAY!!!!!!!! It is not even to be considered!!! No need to even ask for permission, he should no better than to even consider it.

Just read your update. Your husband gets points in my book for listening to you, taking responsibility for himself, re-thinking and apologizing. Way to go, hubby! You get points for keeping communications open, finding a way to get your point across and respecting your marriage and your husband. Way to go, you!

Is he crazy!!!! He totally would not be okay if the shoe was on the other foot, no matter what he says. Why can't he split the cost with a male co-worker? And what does it say for the girl who is willing to share a room with your husband. I'm sure she is a nice person, but why would you want to be in such close quarters with a co-worker(especially a guy one). I mean you have to shower, get dressed, pj's....etc. I'm sorry but it is just inappropriate. And you know there will be some other immature co-worker who will probably start some silly rumor about them... hope this helps...Good Luck.

Have to at another - HELLLLL NOOOO!!!

That is beyond inappropriate ....

I do have a question; if this is a work trip, then I assume work is paying for their rooms. Why would they need to share and split the cost? If it is a work function, work should be paying for the room. I would not be okay with this at all. I think I may even change my mind and go on the trip.

When I saw how many responses you received, MY JAW HIT THE FLOOR! I am glad he has seen the error of his ways and has made a better judgment call. I would definitely not be ok with it and you are right to feel just as you had. Also I know if the tables were turned you would not have even considered sharing a room with another man. Glad it worked out!

Absolutely not. This is wrong on so many levels, and he is being very disrespectful of your marriage if he goes against your wished. It is not acceptable to have two married people sharing a room if it's not their spouse. You are not being unreasonable at all. I can't believe that he would think this is ok. There is no reason he can't stay in a separate room. If he can't afford a separate room then he shouldn't be going in the first place. Why can't he share a room with another man?

Im going to keep my mouth closed on this one.....lol has nothing to do with insercurities or being unreasonable. He should respect your wishes......again read that book I posted lol lol, what's good for the goose is better for the gander, I bet that behavior or the way he thinks changes then! lol

I am going to have to save this one for a future reference! lol!
I had a boss that shared with me that his wife was jealous of me. I thought she was loopy... plus I would never be attracted to him... but after he shared that with me... I always thought of him in a different way.... Years later, after I divorced my Marlboro man, I married a man very similar looking to that boss I said I would never be attracted to. (Much more handsome than my boss but worlds apart from my first husband's features).
Now I understand what that wife may have been concerned about. Because years later, I was attracted to someone like her husband!
Even if you both are married, if you work together daily, there is a fine line you just don't cross and no matter how crazy you think it might be... you just don't put someone in that situation.
Sorry, I think that once you are married. You are married and if your spouse is weird about something respect their wishes! Which by the way in this case.... you were not weird and 100% of us validated that!
Kudos to your hubby for seeing things from your point of view pre-reading your thread!

Nope, not even if it were my best friend. sorry just not happening.

I'm glad he was open enough to read the post on here. Sometimes hearing others views make you think about what you've really done. He should have felt like a jerk. You don't ask your wife this! I'm happy everything is over and resolved.

I would have said no also!

My first reaction would be no, I would not be ok with that.
If I knew the girl extremely well (like he's a sister to my SO, and I have hung out with her countless times), in combination of trusting my SO it would be another story.
Honestly, if it were my relationship, I would go to Vegas. It doesn't matter if "im over it," I would go to support my husband. I feel like that should happen on both sides in a relationship. My SO has sat in a nail salon for a few hours watching me get pampered with absolutely nothing to do but refuse offer after offer of getting a pedicure from all the girls, so why not do something he likes? Just my personal opinion.
Im not trying to be mean, just being honest.
It's a tough situation, I hope it gets easily resolved soon.
Good Luck.

I'm a little late but NOT A CHANCE IN HELL!

Heck no!! The mixture of Vegas, Drinking and Sharing a hotel room with a female other than his wife equals Trouble!! I think of the Bible passage "Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought" and other related passages dealing with our own pride. He seems very confident, but as we all know we can ALL be weak when we let down our guard. Please stick with your first instinct... You are right on this one. He needs to understand that this is not about trusting him but about him disrespecting YOU and your marriage. When two people are married, they need to protect their marriage and this is an obvious way to do this... avoid the temptation. Especially with men, sexual temptation can be extremely powerful. I don't know, I think he needs to be woken up and his head screwed back on the right way. I'll pray for you!! That's tough.

i might get bood for this but before you judge read the whole story.... I went to vegas for a softball tournament and my room wasn't ready. One of the guys we were with( 50+ married guy) had 2 beds. I thought innocently well why not share a room and split the cost. He agreed. I called my husband right away to tell him and he sounded like he was ok with it. well after the first day I knew I was uncomfortable. I couldn't pee without it echoing through the room which made me feel even more awkward, yes door was closed. I did not run around in skivvies in fact I slept in shorts and t-shirts. But then he started flirting which I DID NOT respond to. I made sure I told another married couple that was with us so that they were in the loop of how uncomfortable I was feeling but I didn't want to make a scene. He tried to pay for things and I flat out told him NO. I never felt threatened by the guy and I knew I could handle myself if things really got out of hand but I have to say that I will NEVER do that again. I did have a talk with my husband when I got home didn't tell him about the flirting but did tell him how uncomfortable I was and be sure that I'll spend the money next time to have my own room. It's just weird sleeping in the same room with a guy other then your husband even if you are in different beds. I love my husband and would never do anything intentionally to hurt him in any way. Like I said in the begining I was comfortable with the guy and innocently made the room comment but never again.

Always better to not put yourself in a situation such as this. Drinking alone is a good reason not to. A person cannot assure another that nothing will happen when drinking is thrown into the match. It may be an innocent trip but drinking lowers inhibitions and who knows what would then happen at 1am after an evening of partying in a haven known for just that. Better to be safe than sorry. I would not want my husband to jeopardize everything he loves for something that could have been avoided. The saying "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas" would certainly not hold true and could end up causing more problems and concerns that could easily be avoided. At what point does he grow up and decide that his family is first? Let the singles go. Temptation could be in the form of this trip to Vegas. Better to opt not to go instead of having to apologize later for something he didn't mean to happen.

just be happy all this was worked out before he left for the trip and he didn't tell you after he got home from the trip - oh by the way I shared a room with *her name here* but don't worry - nothing happened.

NEVER!!!!!!!!!! It's not right on so many levels. I'm not saying that your husband is up to something. I'm saying that it's just not ok- no matter what the reason!!!!!!!!

Whew!!! So glad you guys sorted it out, major bullet dodged!!

I found this site because I am going through the same situation with my husband, except dealing with staying in hotels while coaching weekend volleyball tournaments. I've only met this other female coach once and she seems nice and might be someone I could be friends with. BUT that doesn't mean I want her sharing a hotel room, which I consider a very intimate setting... laying down, watching tv, getting dressed in the morning??? UGH I don't even want to think about how I'd be feeling while he's away. And I do trust him, and feel like I'm being unreasonably jealous, but aren't there certain boundaries between a married person and someone of the opposite sex? I told him we will just pay for him to have own room (there are no other male coaches). And although we're one a tight budget, I think it's worth it for the peace of mind. Thank you for validating my feelings.