My question involves my 3 year old daughter playing with a 6 year old. Until, now the play has been pleasant. However, the six year old recently tried to knock my child off of another child's playscape b/c she didn't want her there. The child and parents who own the playscape did not mind my child being there. The 6 year old wanted to play with the older kids I think and my child didn't understand that she wasn't wanted by the one girl (who seemed to be the leader of the other two girls - not my own - that day). I've seen this child do this to the girl next door, but never to mine. I yelled to the child to not push my child and then to not do it again. The child talked back to me denying the actions and then ran and told her mom.
When confronting the parents, they denied that their daughter would do something like this even though I've seen the mother correct the 6 year old when knocking the girl next door off of a swing. Basically, the parents acted as if the problem were all my own and not wanting to correct the child. I was the only parent outside - so the only adult witness. My husband and I stood firm and eventually they had the child apologize to my daughter. When I spoke with the parents, I had a very firm tone which irked the parents and they said so. They also said not to yell at their child. Normally, I do not yell at other people’s children. The only problem was I did this to prevent the child from knocking my kid off the playscape. A 6 year old could hurt a 3 year old falling 5-6 feet onto the ground and said so. They rolled their eyes. Thankfully, the mother of the girl next door (5) has told me she feels as though her daughter has been bullied by the 6 year old as well, so it’s not just my perception. What would you do as far as our two children playing together in this situation? Should I have my child only play with children closer in age to her?
I do agree that they shouldn't play together or, at the very least, limitedly and under direct supervision, of course. The neighbor next door doesn't like to cause waves, so to speak, and leaves play in her yard unsupervised much of the time when she's the only adult home. It's taken me a few days to be able to be non-emotional about this. I believe that the 6 year old does not mean to hurt my child (so far) but to create space b/c she's older and wants to separate herself from younger kids nowadays. Thanks for the help! It means a lot to get advice from other moms.
I think I would limit my child's time with THAT particular 6 yr old. If that means that you have to bring her home when the girl is allowed to play next door, then so be it. Perhaps the mom "hosting" the kids on the playscape will say something to the child and warn her about her bullying type behavior jeopardizing her status as a welcomed guest.
I'd stick to playing only with the children whose parents actually want to parent.
Children are not naturally bullies. It is a learned behavior. Learned from a parent who will roll their eyes at someone with a legitimate concern.
Stand your ground.
You didn't say where this is happening.
If it is happening at YOUR home, then don't allow that kid to come over.
It is YOUR rules, YOUR home.
A 3 year old and a 6 year old, are VERY different per development.
So, it is not always compatible.
Not all older kids, are nice to younger kids, nor understanding.
2 to a 6 year old. First time I'd have said please don't push my kid. Some kids play rough and the 6 year probably has not learned correct play yet. I'd tell the parents like you did stay firm about it like you did. Then let it go. But if it happened again I'd probably do what I just did to the parent at my daughter's gymastics. I spoke loud enough for everyone to hear and made a deal about it. Sure some people will want to stay away from you because they think drama but the kid and the parent will know.
I would limit their play time together.
I would avoid having your 3 year old playing with the older kids. I would stick to 3 & 4 year olds.
Best of Luck!
I would have stopped anyone from pushing my child as well. I think it's the protective instinct in us : ). I would also have told the parent. Then I think you have to let it go. They can discipline their child how they see fit. If they don't do it to your liking and you don't feel that your child is safe there, then you can choose not to go back.
That 6 year old will be in school from next week so problem solved!!
The 6 year old has a dominant, aggressive nature, it seems. AND she is significantly older than your 3 year old. AND the parents are the type that their kid can do no wrong. I'd be done with allowing them to play together. I don't think she needs to stay clear of ALL older children. But when there is a group of 3 or more girls, and yours is the youngest, count on her being the easiest target for being left out. If it works to have her play with other older girls, I'd keep it to supervised one on one play.
Hey Lady My question would be where are HER parents? Are her parents just letting her out for other parents to watch? Do the parents just let her go by herself? If she is there alone, you have every right to supervise and intervene if she is doing things that could hurt the other kids. If this little girl and her parents don't cooperate with the safety issues, I would stop letting them play together.
