Hi K.,
I lost the battle of getting my kids do do chores as soon as our oldest moved out at 17. My husband sad to say, would demand for her to do dishes. (She is his step-daughter.) As soon as our two other kids were her age, (about 8 and 9) he started waiting hand and foot on them.) Favoritism is such an unkind thing.
I tried to get them to pitch in, but whenever I would start to raise my voice, daddy was right there to do it for them. He still waits on them...They can be upstairs in their rooms, or getting ready for bed, and if they need a glass of water, he brings it to them! I have told him that they are not learning responsibility, and they are dissrespectful. I can not get them to do anything...they are 14 and 16.
They are not doing well in school because he bought them each xboxes. And, my son spends every waking moment on the weekends and weeknights until late playing with his online friends (who I am assuming don't do anything either.)
I have tried to be the inforcer, and well, I earn the title of "You're mean". So I don't know what to say...I just kind of stopped cleaning their rooms, and as long as their mess doesn't come out of their rooms into the hall, I don't care anymore...When the clothes do get thrown over the railing down to the family room for me to wash, I do the wash, fold it and put it into each ones basket...
They don't put the clothes away, they pick through their baskets until the clean clothes are strewn onto the floor, and then I wash again. As for dishes, my kids eat all over the house, until sometimes there are no dishes in the cabinets, and then my husband will go around and pick up after them.
Our house is so unorginized, that at times I wish that I could have DAV or Goodwill just come by and I would start loading up their truck! My husband is anal retentive, and everything has value in his sight. So, I can't stress enough, don't keep clutter around, it will eventually own you.
I hope for the best for you and your family...
Have a nice Christmas.
C.