Liars

cheryl, that's kinda ugly. do you REALLY think that liberals lie and conservatives are honest?
really?
i have very little patience for lying. in fact, i was musing over a possible question to ask here on that subject today. maybe this will answer it.
most of the time it's not important enough for me to call someone out. some liars are perfectly cognizant of their dishonesty, others are having troubles that are causing them to spin fantasies desperately, and are very invested in trying to believe their revised versions. either way, i think it stinks and don't want it around me.
khairete
S.

Pathological liars can be quite entertaining provided you are not personally involved in their lie.
You can't change them.
Everyone knows who they are, that's why it's entertaining.
If you are an audience to their "story", tell them "wait a minute while I go make myself a bag of popcorn".

I have a friend who will listen to someone tell a story and then turn around, literally, the minute the other person finishes their story and reiterate that the same story but that it happened to them instead. My jaw drops every time! I think she is going to add to the conversation or story but just says OMG guess what happened to me! blah blah blah And I just think, does she think she is fooling anyone???

Cheryl O.- Really? Liberals? Chill out, have a cup of coffee or do yoga or something.

Cheryl O, do not turn this political! That is just laughable. And a bit rude, I might add.

I guess I would walk away pretty darn quick! :-)

As Spongbob would say:

Liar, Liar, Plants for Hire!!

:)

How did this question translate into bashing liberals? I think that judgmental people who stick to political lines are just as annoying as pathological liars, personally. And who lies more than politicians??

I also dislike vague posts because I fear that they are meant to be passive-aggressive bullying by nature, and that's not nice.

If that's not the intent of your post, then to answer your question, I have zero tolerance for lying. That's about the worst thing you can do to me. At what point do I walk away? As soon as possible.

Well, there are different motives for different lies. (Not a lot are acceptable, but some are more troublesome than others, imo!)
Some people lie to look better (about their age, income, accomplishments, credentials, etc.).
Some people lie because they are truly misinformed and never take the time to educate themselves (like the email rumors a relative sends me all the time!)
Some people lie because they don't want to deal with repercussions from stating the truth.
Some people lie for the thrill of it, I suppose. (I have known people that lie about the most inconsequential things--like whether they were at the store yesterday, etc.)
And, yes, some people lie so much that it becomes their "reality" and they start to believe their own lies.
It doesn't last though, because chickens WILL come home to roost, and lies have a way of being revealed, in the end. It might take a day, a week, a year or a century, but generally, lies are revealed, I think.
How to deal with your relative? If the lies weren't directly affecting me or my family, I would probably ignore them. If they WERE directly affecting me, I have no problem calling out a liar.
Now if it's something like the way the remember past events in family life--it might be a matter of perspective. It doesn't have to change YOUR perspective, in the end.

Two expressions that apply:
Honesty is the best policy.
Oh what tangled webs we weave, when first we practice to deceive.

sometimes it is so fun to watch them lose count and direction of their lies. I;d say wow and stay and watch the show instead of walk away. Although I love arguing so I would call them out if I was close enough to them

Yuck. I can't stand a liar. Once I find out someone is a liar, I stop speaking to them. When I was in the middle of purchasing my house, a co-worker of mine told me she was buying one, too. We all know if you're buying a house you know ALL the particulars (purchase price, your interest rate, how much your taxes are, etc). We were pretty friendly, and even hung out outside of work. So I asked the purchase price and she told me 300K. Then I asked about her taxes, and she told me 1500. Um, no. There is no way in the world taxes can be that little in Staten Island, NY.

The moral of the story is if you can lie me to so easily about stupid stuff, you can lie to me just as easily about important stuff.

A lifetime.

In my case, until I got sober.

In the case of trolls, as long as they are fed.

Both my and my husband's ex's are like this. They come up with the craziest things and are CONVINCED that what they say are true! We are like "REALLY"? We honestly think they have mental problems. And we know others, not just our ex's (aren't everyones ex's mental??!!) that are like this too. If the person is not family, then we don't associate with them. If they are family, and we do have a couple of them, then we just keep a distance and don't get overly involved except for the basics. I'm black and white about things like that so its easy for me, but not everyone. Good luck!

I've learned to just laugh and go away.

We know a royal liar in our neighborhood. We live in a very nice upscale neighborhood and this guy lives in one of the less expensive homes which does not have a basement and does not back up to the wooded area this one guy is always talking about how much he is worth, etc... BLAH

The last time this one guy was on his rampage of lies.... another neighbor said... "if all this is true, why are you living where you are?"

If the person is like my ex husband, a lie can go on forever. Some people can continue lying without feeling absolutely any guilt. It's just part of their character.

Are we talking adults or children?

Children sometimes cannot differentiate between fantasy and reality.

Adults on the other hand should know better. But, I used to have a friend that was a compulsive liar. It got to the point where I couldn't believe anything she said. It was weird. Eventually, I ended the friendship. When I exposed her lies, she just laughed at me. I felt like a total fool.

Hi, Mom:
One thing is to know that what is being said is not true for you.
Liars think that they are telling the truth. Lying is a defense mechanism.
Yes, you have the right answer, Wow, Oh, really, thanks for sharing, you name it, say something kind. You have a choice to believe it or not believe it, that's the American way.
Good luck.
D.

If it is a child? They are learning to process their fantasy from reality. They also do it as a defense mechanism to (hopefully) prevent them from getting hurt or in trouble.

An adult? Some liars actually BELIEVE the lies they tell as truths. You cannot change them.

If you know they are speaking a untruth? Don't even bother confronting them with it. They will deny it. The fight will be futile.

Forever?
Politicians make a career of it - every last one of them - liberals, conservatives and every flavor in between.
Lawyers know that 'truth' is in the eye of the beholder (or the judge or jury) and it changes depending on your perspective and what evidence is permissible to reveal.
'Truth' is malleable.
It's right up there with 'belief' and it seldom has anything to do with the facts.
You walk away when it's more than you can swallow or when it ceases to be entertaining.

HAHA My husband remembers things differently than others.
So when he starts to spin I just say , Yeah, ok. Then tend not to believe what he is saying.
If he is telling a story and I was involved and it matters, I do correct him.

In my experience there are people that will tell a lie on top of a lie in order to keep the original lie going. They pretty much end up in a web of lies that last a lifetime. Until they grow up enough to admit to THEMSELVES that they are dishonest, it will continue. Sadly, many people do not ever mature enough to get there. My husband's ex is a habitual liar about all things - big or small - it's pathological. I honestly don't know that she can control it at this point or maybe she no longer knows what the truth is. The truly sad part about it is now DSS is a habitual liar and a complete narcissist too. The apple doesn't fall too far from the tree despite our best efforts. We only hope that one day all of our discussions about honesty sink in but I'm doubtful - the kid will lie about the stupidest things and SWEAR he's telling the truth even in the face of proof.

AFTER READING YOUR SO WHAT HAPPENED???? SO FAR NOTHING HAS HAPPENED. Unless you gained any insite from the mama's postings? That's the point of the SO WHAT HAPPENED post.

Tell them you don't believe them and why. If they don't come clean, you will know that this is a person you can not trust. While you may not be able to completely walk away from a family member, you can keep your distance, don't loan them any money, and NEVER confide in them. Most importantly, you can keep them in your prayers.

One of my Bil's is a narcassist and will tell you he didn't do it even when you show him the video tape! He's not fooling anyone but himself and I think he really believes he is telling the truth.

He once told his son's other grandparents he couldn't watch his own son because he had to take his mom to a hospital in KC to visit a relative who had a stroke. The relative did have a stroke....in TOPEKA! And he never, ever offered to drive his mom there. He just didn't want to take care of his 10 year old son for the one day he has him a week. He wanted to go to a party instead. PATHETIC!!

He's not welcome in our home anymore.

Well...my mom's 75 and still tells the same lies she was telling 20-30 years ago.

When she goes off, I just tell her 'Who are talking to? I'm the child that knows when you're lying. You wanna try that again?"