Marriage Councelor

Updated on February 02, 2009
K.R. asks from Long Beach, CA
7 answers

Hi Moms,
Does anyone have a great reference for a marriage councelor? I'm trying to help my sister find one. She and her husband are quite resistant to the idea but they are in real need. They have only been married for a year. I have a feeling if I do some of the legwork, it'll be an easier step for them to go and try it out. Counceling is such a personal thing and the connection you have with the professional is key. I would love any feedback. They live here in Long Beach. Thanks!

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So What Happened?

Thank you all so much for your information and advice. What a wealth of knowledge you ladies have shared. I appreciate each of you taking the time to help me. My sister is also very grateful!

More Answers

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J.K.

answers from Los Angeles on

I have two great ones for you. In Huntington Beach there is Mary Nehls, L.C.S.W. ###-###-####. She is very down-to-earth and non-intimidating. She is my neighbor and has always given me great advice for myself and my kids. She only gives me advice about my husband when I asked (she is a good neighbor after all). The other is Dr. Jeanne Michele. She is in Newport Beach ###-###-####. She is very classy and really likes to reitterate what you or your partner says so people can actually hear what they sound like. She helped my husband and me a lot! Good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hello K.,

I have the name and number to a great Christian counselor. His name is William (Bill) Dresser. He is in Torrance. His number is ###-###-####. If they don't do anything to save this relationship then all of their future relationsips will fail. Marriage is not a walk in the park. It requires WORK.
Hope this helps.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.E.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi, K.,

It's wonderful of you to look for resources for your relatives.

I think that almost everyone who has every been married agrees that marriage takes work. The question is "What type of work?"

As a graduate psychology student and wife, I've read many books on relationships, esp. marriage. If your sister or brother-in-law are at all open to reading to help them, I recommend that they read the following books:

1. The Seven Principles of Making Marriage Work by John Gottman. This is my favorite book on the topic. My sister, who is a clinical psychologist in San Diego, gave me this book when I got married.

2. The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman.

3. When Your Sex Drives Don't Match by Sandra Pertot. (I don't know whether this topic applies to your sister and brother-in-law, but it's a useful book for many distressed couples.)

4. I Love You, but I'm Not in Love With You by Andrew Marshall. (I don't know whether this topic applies to your sister and brother-in-law, but it's a useful book for many distressed couples.)

I would avoid books whose authors offer platitudes or quick fixes, generalize, e.g. "Men are (fill in the blank)" or "Men are simple creatures," basically repeat what they said in the first ten pages over and over for 200 pages, or do not have PhDs or solid research backgrounds in PSYCHOLOGY. A PhD in another field, e.g. mathematics or finance (the majors of my previous degrees) does NOT make one an expert in psychology! That's why I'm going back to school, yet again, to get an advanced degree in psychology. I don't want to give people garbage in exchange for their hard-earned money. However, sadly, some people pass themselves off as experts in order to quickly make big bucks. They may sell lots of books, tapes, etc., but I don't think that they really help distressed couples and further the general public's understanding of what makes people tick or even just help improve relationships with a significant other.

If your sister and brother-in-law are more "workshop/seminar" type people, then they might benefit from a workshop such as John Gottman's workshops, which are held in Washington state and California. You can get details on www.gottman.com.

I wish that I knew of what I would consider a good marriage therapist in the area. I would go to him or her!

Good luck to your sister and your brother-in-law.

Lynne E

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M.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

Thank u for posting this. I too was looking for one.You have now helped someone else other than your family!!!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi K.,

My husband & I went to see Dr. Grace Coleman here in Long Beach & she really helped us. My husband had anxiety about our 2nd baby coming because I had ppd w/the first & we didn't handle it very well. He was not excited about going to see the counselor, didn't know what to expect but turned out he really liked her. We still use the skills she taught us & our marriage is stronger than ever (baby is now almost 2!). Here's her website:
http://www.docgracephd.com/

M.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

R.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Try Hy Sabath, in Redondo Beach.

Very good with couples, communication, etc.
Experienced and down to earth.

S.F.

answers from Los Angeles on

Get her the CD and Book: "The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work" -- they can listen to the CD in an hour, know that it will work, and do the exercises in the book. This really works. Together they're $23 plus postage.

http://gottmancatalog.orderport.net/1450/productpage.asp?...

It's from "The Gottman Institute" and they've helped a lot of couples. Much better than therapy.

Wish your sister good luck from us.

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