Memory... How Do I Obtain Some?

Updated on March 12, 2011
V.W. asks from Chisago City, MN
17 answers

I seem to have very little/no memory (Or maybe it's my attention span). It has been this way all my life, but has never really interfered before... Until now. It is starting to affect my parenting and I hate it!

Example: On Sunday I will tell myself that I need to give my son (4 months) a bath on Tuesday. By the time Thursday or Friday rolls around, I finally remember that I need to give him a bath.

Another example: I will tell myself that after he is finished drinking his bottle, I need to change his wet diaper. An hour or two later I actually remember to do it.

I have my son on a strict feeding schedule of every 3 hours (If I don't keep him on schedule, he'll throw up everywhere... Not spit up, throw up). Sometimes (Not very often, but on days where I am particularly stressed/sleep deprived) my memory is so bad that my son will start crying and it will take me 10-15 minutes to realize that it's time for him to eat.

I have a feeling that my stress levels have something to do with it (Although I'm not 100% sure because it's been like this my whole life, and I haven't always been this stressed). I have many different stresses in my life including (But not limited to) 3 part time jobs (I'm working on finding 1 full time job, or at least a new part time jobs that will give me more hours so that I don't need 3), bills that I am barely able to pay (Even with my 3 part time jobs), a 4 month old to care for (I think we all know that even though babies are absolutely wonderful... They do tend to cause some stress), and the typical family/friend drama that I'm sure every one has. My boyfriend and I are also trying to save up to buy a house, so all my left over money after the bills are paid goes toward the house fund (Yet, he has saved $3000 and I've only managed to contribute $100).

So, my question... What do you wonderful ladies do to boost your memory? I hate the fact that my loss of memory is affecting my parenting.

1 mom found this helpful

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M.B.

answers from Milwaukee on

It sounds a little like you have ADD. I do too and used to be medicated for it, but the medications they give you have harsh side effects, so I'm off it. For me, sleep, exercise and a pretty strict diet with no high fructose corn syrup and very little processed food helps. But I'm still spacey and forgetful. My biggest problem is focusing, I hyper-focus most of the time and have a hard time focusing on what people are saying to me. You're not alone :)

2 moms found this helpful

L.G.

answers from Eugene on

I have a little fat book. It is my everything book. If I know my child needs to go to have a phone call or if I have an appointment or I need to answer someones e mail it is all in the book. As I do the task I scratch it off. Next Tuesday if my women's group has a meeting I write it in. There is no particular order. And, I go through the book a couple of times a day.
The computer is my brain and this is the everything book.

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N.W.

answers from Eugene on

I write stuff on my hand. It looks tacky but if I have to remember something it's the only way. Oh, and I use alot of sticky notes on my mirror or computer. They have to go someplace I can't miss them. In order to remember something from the time I think of it til I can get to my pen , I have to repeat it as I walk ..."milk milk milk".

I used to have a good memory and thought this was all part of motherhood. Whatever the cause, I want my brain back!

2 moms found this helpful
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C.P.

answers from Provo on

My doctor told me that vitamin D helps a lot with memory. I would just suggest a blood test that can help pin point things. Since you have just given birth then your hormones are probably messed up still. I have a friend that is 60 and if she does not take her ADD medicine then she has a problem focusing.

1 mom found this helpful
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R.D.

answers from Kansas City on

Routine helps. Every time you feed, change the diaper also. I used to do diaper, nurse, burp - in that order - every three hours or so. Set a timer alarm. (Get a kitchen timer if you don't already have one.) Keep all bills in the same place. When you get them, open them and put them in order they are due. (Put them in the envelope with a stamp to save a step later.) Pay them as soon as you can in that order so they don't get behind. Write everything down that is important. Keep a routine! Stay on schedule! Get a calendar with room to write, and post it in a central location and write down bath days, bill due dates, play dates (?), work schedule, or whatever else will help you keep things in order. The more you practice doing things on a routine schedule, the more it becomes second nature, then you do it automatically and you won't have to think about it.

1 mom found this helpful
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A.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

Routine & a schedule! Write it out as a daily schedule, to include what time you wake, shower and start babys day. Include errands, drs appt, bath time, grocery store etc. My best advice is to start a 6 Most Important Things To-Do list each evening, list in any order what you absolutely need to get done the following day along with things you'd like to get done but can also put off for one more day. Hope you dont forget to try this!

Also I suffered with something similar and read that if you slowed down and paid attention to what you are doing and whats going on around you along with reading for pleasure things would be better, and boy have they!!!

1 mom found this helpful

G.T.

answers from Modesto on

I would make a list every morning and cross things off as you go. Get some of those little kitchen timers and put them in various rooms of the house to remind yourself that something needs to be done when the bell rings.
You sound a little more scatter brained than normal, you might want to talk to your doctor about it and see what advice he/she might give.
Eat a balanced diet and drink plenty of water.

1 mom found this helpful
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T.F.

answers from Eugene on

Have you tried writing things down - like a constant list? I would start with that. And write down times that things need to be done at and keep track of the time.

And if there is extra stress in your life - you need to take a step back and look at the bigger picture and look at it and see what "Stress" you can remove....or move to another priority list. I would start with friend and family drama - you don't need it personally - you need to take care of your self and family first.

1 mom found this helpful
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K.K.

answers from San Diego on

oh my, you sound like me, i'm 27 and never had this until i gave birth its ruining my life, my husband and i argue all the time because i forget, not only that i always try to remember something like your examples, for my own good, and i never can. not even if i write it on a post it, it really bums me out. I will keep checking and see what the other moms tell you. Hope u get good tips.

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

You have a 4 month old.
No one's memory is great when they have a 4 month old.
It has to do with sleep deprivation and sometimes your hormones can still be quite a bit out of whack from having the baby.
Try to get more sleep (not always easy to do).
Try taking a multi vitamin. Good nutrition can help.
Come up with a system of writing down what you want to do and when you want to do it - note book, dry erase board, sticky tabs on the fridge, what ever - and get use to checking it often. Can your boyfriend handle paying the bills for while? Can a relative babysit while you catch up on sleep? Enlist help/accept offers of help.
Some of this will resolve a bit as your child ages and he gives you a bit more sleep. Just hang in there!

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J.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

I'm going to second the ADHD thought - especially since you feel like you've always been like this. My son was diagnosed last year, and since then my 67-year-old father has been pursuing treatment for his own (previously undiagnosed) ADHD. Talk with your doctor, and get a referral to a psychologist who can do a more thorough assessment and talk about treatments. Medication plus behavioral therapy has really helped my son.

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Routine and lists can help. Especially when it involves caring for your child. Get a planner book and WRITE down what needs to be done on which day.
Make a feeding checklist: Feed, burp, change diaper, clean up, etc.
Make Notes on Mondays, Weds & Fridays to bathe your baby.

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M.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

I read all the advises you got and I agree that you should try to be more organized by writing things down,but...make a note to change your baby's diper?give him a bath?This kind of forgetfulness is very concerning.Next time you might forget to take your baby from the car or else(hope it never happens)
I think it is serious,it's not just a normal stress related problem.We all have a lot of stress in our lifes...My baby 19 months,maybe I forget to feed the dog on time or change the litter box for the cat for a day,but when it comes to the baby I remember EVERYTHING.
I agree with other moms tht said you might have a ADD,I'd go the doctor asap and not hope that taking just vitamins would help to get a better memory..Good luck!

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M.H.

answers from Atlanta on

Hi V.,

Of course stress affects your memory. Stress affects everything. Boosting your immune system will help. There are several ways to do that. Detoxing your home and body, upper cervical chiropractic care, and good nutrition are key. I take a supplement that is primarily Omegas that is called "Unforgettables." It has done wonders for my memory that USED to be real good.

God bless,

M.

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J.C.

answers from Lincoln on

I know I seem to be saying the same things to several different people, but hormones are usually the culprit. The "fog" that we walk around in is usually due to some type of hormonal imbalance or thyroid issue. Get to a holistic doctor and find out the root cause.

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M.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

Sleep. My short-term memory went missing the first year of my daughter's life. Once she started to sleep better at night my brain improved. Nowadays when I do anything that reduces my sleep several days in a row (stay up too late, get up too early, have insomnia), I notice it again. Anything you can do to get some help to reduce stress and increase sleep may help. I'm sorry to say this, but if your current living situation works for you maybe try to put some of that leftover money toward some nighttime baby help or reducing work hours. There will always be houses out there, but your health (and relationship with your child) will only come around once.

V.C.

answers from Dallas on

Lecithin can help and is very inexpensive. I have other supplements I can recommend, as well as for stress. Let me know if you are interested.
V.

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