More than words...setting the Example

This is such a HUGE question...

and fraught with all kinds of family values and dynamics...both from within the nuclear family...and also from the extended family.

I speak as a mom who waited longer than I should have. And I hope and pray that I did not do irreparable damage to my kiddos.

I am stronger now. NO ONE WANTED their marriage to work MORE than me.

It didn't.

It wasn't.

Yet still...when I was CRYING OUT for help...family...church...and friends were ALL asking me to give it more time.

So, I feel "WE" can...from our online perspective...give our 15 seconds of advice...but families...church...and friends...In Real Life...also have opinions. And 'they' often send us off a 'better' track.

Just my opinion.

Unfortunately, much like an addict - only they can decide when they've hit rock bottom and enough is enough.
Some can decide to get out for the sake of their kids when they could never get out for their own sake.
Google 'why stay with an abuser' and you'll get site after site explaining all the psychology behind it.
I just don't know why it's so prevalent.
Where in our culture/society do we get all this 'stand by your man' no matter what through thick and thin even though he uses you as a punching bag/whipping boy?
What's so noble/honorable about such loyalty and be a martyr in this way?
There's this dark side of human nature that's always there somewhere but we can't seem to find a cure for it.
I watched the video.
Some people think it's cute when kids act like little adults no matter how vile the behavior.

We offer our support, knowledge, experience, and advice. Showing them that video is great as it sends a powerful message.

Oh geez. I just cried and I never cry. What a video. Thanks for posting.

I think in the cases where it's pretty obvious that the wife should leave, most of us tell her as much. I usually don't advocate for splitting up, because it's hard on kids, but there have been a lot of posts lately in which the guy is obviously abusive in one form or another, and it's also obvious that this is the type of guy who won't change any time soon.

So most of us usually tell that person to take her kid and get out. But does she do it? Probably not.

Hi, W.:

The reason there is a "bad" marriage, someone doesn't know how to love.
The first person to love is yourself.
Once a person learns to love herself, she can love her man.
I reference women because she is the one who focuses on relationships.
Generally speaking, this is not always true.
Since you are writing this request, I am referring to women.
Let a man refer to the man's point of view. (I know nothing about that)
Most of us are raised in a co-dependent state so we try to control the other person rather than love the other person.

Good luck.
D.

Awesome!
It is so hard to make a decision when fear of the unknown is lurking.
It can feel like we have no support system ,

If you have trouble telling the people closest to you what is going on in your home, it is hard then to leave a home.

My mother and father stayed together for way too long. But back then, they had been raised in the Catholic Church and there were dire consequences for divorcing, Especially for my mom, because women at that time were still considered second class citizens.
For many people looking at their children and realizing, "I need to do the right thing for them, can give them the strength they need." But for others it may take a physical reason.

No one should be treated in a way they do not feel is right. They should not dread or fear their own home. When it gets to this point, ask for help. People want to help. If people do not want to help or at least be supportive, you know they are not people you need in your life.

Our children deserve stable homes. We must protect them physically but also their hearts, faith and minds.