My 4 Yr Old Child Hurts Herself

Yes, this is a big deal. She is reacting to feelings of no control - to frustration - to anger. She needs to learn proper ways to react to these feelings as they are a part of life. She needs to learn new behaviors to replace these with. She is so overwhelmed by these feelings that holding them in is not an option. She needs to release them - she just doesn't do it in a safe way. I'd speak to my pedi and get a referral to a counselor or therapist who is much more knowledgeable about this than I am. In the meantime, I'd work with my daughter and explain that it's okay to get angry. Everyone gets angry. It is NOT okay to hurt yourself, others, or property. Perhaps you can give her the strategy of blowing air out of her mouth as hard as she can when she gets mad, instead of hurting herself. Maybe teach her to count to 10. Maybe you can designate a space in your house where she can go when she's mad to "Cool Down" - a safe place. Let her yell into a pillow, hit a pillow? I'm not sure, but something where she can let it out but not hurt anyone or anything (including herself).
Best of luck to you! Let us know how it goes...

Hi.There E. so sorry to here about your little girl doing this to her self.yes i would be very worried about this that is not normal at all i have a cousin that does stuff like that she is 21yearsold and she has adhd and bypolar so you might want to get some testing done on her i would not let this go on she might hurt her self really bad one day.i hope every thing gets better for yall.please get that baby looked at dont wait till its to late.i will be praying for yall my heart goes out to you take care.it will get better god will help you just pray about this

I would suggest to speak with your pediatrician. Depending what your DR says, you may also want to get her a consultation with a child psychiatrist. This is not normal behavior but it is a warning sign that should not be ignored.

Anxiety and depression often exibit as anger and rage in young children. Of course this may not be yoru daughters issue, but there could be anothe runderlying issue. Once you are able to determine what the cause is, then you will be able to make and informed decision on the best way to resolv ethis for your family.

Good luck!

What is your response to her when she does this? Does she get what she is wanting? Is she punished? Where I'm going is... does she gain anything at all by this behavior?

It sounds like a cry for attention, maybe she needs to be taught more productive ways of expressing her frustration or asking for attention. I've seen many kids who will bang their heads on the floor in a tantrum. Personally, I just ignore tantrums, it tends to work when they see there is nothing to gain from it.

You said she started doing this when she was two? And she's four now...and your youngest is two. Sounds almost like a jealousy issue.

She's able to get your attention (bad attention is as good as positive attention when you feel you're being ignored.)

Have you tried taking her out for mother/daughter "dates", or playing with her alone while the youngest is napping or something?

Just my two cents.