My Husband Is a Poopyweinerbutthead

Did you say poopyweinerbutthead?

Honey, finger or no finger, husband or no husband, you need to get out more!

Hope tomorrow is better for you. And him.

;)

I think you totally over reacted!
His point was-if you can't see it, it could be from sweat, accidental water, whatever.
I think I'd take that apology. And you owe him O. as well for jumping down his throat when he was trying to help.

hee!
poor mama.
it wasn't really that huge a gaffe, and i'm glad you've apologized too.
poor ol' dh. i'll bet he walks on eggshells around you for a while!
:) khairete
S.

Well, when I have had to keep bandages on they start to feel wet because I sweat but the wound itself is fine. Ya sure that wasn't what he was going for?

Here is the thing though, he was trying, and you jumped him for being an idiot. In my family dynamic I would be the one who owed the apology.

Okay, I am having trouble understanding why you are mad at him, especially so mad at him.

I mean I am reading this and I guess in your anger you are calling him genius and idiot? Just because he suggested that it may not be leaking?

So to answer your question I have never forced an apology so when you say you are sorry I am done with my anger.
__________________________________
Oh and I have had five knee surgeries, thankfully I only had to keep the bandages on for a week, every one of them they felt wet but the wounds were dry. Not saying it was the same in your case but his comment was very reasonable and not stupid at all.

I'm not getting what you're so mad about. It seems like a fairly reasonable question. I know that many, many times I think one of my bandages is wet and it turns out it's not (I am super clumsy). So again, what is the big deal?

Ok, read your post one more time.

1 you had surgery and he went out of town- its ok- stuff that feeling down.

2 nurse told you bandage not to be changed- inside you question it- stuff that feeling down.

3 you are having pain and feeling bad with the antibiotic - don't say anything - stuff those things down

When you stuff feelings down they come out at any dismissive innocent comment. You need to let little things out so they don't build and splatter all over your husband.

Sorry is just an invitation for forgiveness, and for you to step down your anger. I have been in situations in which I've said. Thank you for your apology. I appreciate it. I am not yet ready to move on. I need a moment to step down my anger. I will let you know when I have come out from under that cloud hanging over me.

Sorry about your figner. Hopefully no complications.

Good luck to you and yours,
F. B.

Hubs is a goober.

That said, from a medical standpoint, I am not sure I agree with your surgical dressing remaining unchanged for such a long time. Surgical dressings are usually kept in place for 5 days or less, unless the dressing gets wet or or saturated with blood. Then it should be changed.

I would consider calling the doctor's office for guidance.

I wrote the book on stupid arguments, I promise you. This one will pass. We're all entitled. :)

i guess i don't get what your husband as being so mad at him for....maybe he was jsut trying to understand what you said. but for you to be so mad at him for that is a little far out there!!!

So....was it really wet or was it just in your head?

Seems like a fair suggestion to me :)

I think you should be over it, but....yes, there are situations where apologies are meaningless.

I refuse to watch most sitcoms....simply because they are about the man screwing up & then having to make amends. What the Hell does that teach our kids? How about a show that teaches us to do it right the 1st time?

Moving on, yep....I still say get over it. & as a head's up, when I take pain meds &/or antibiotics....I become a raging witch. Psychotic dreams + an unending crabbiness. Cut him some slack!

Ok, so first off, this sounds like a really, incredibly stupid thing..... for you to be upset about. I don't know maybe you had to be there to hear his tone or something, but when I read this and saw what you were angry about I was really confused about what there is exactly to be upset about. My husband says stuff like that to me, but he totally isn't questioning my sanity or anything. Part of me really hopes that this was partly a troll post because your anger seems that ridiculous.

Secondly to answer your question. If "I'm sorry" is all they can do to make things right then it has to cut it. Sometimes though when someone says they're sorry, the other person is still angry. That's ok. Sorry doesn't work as an instant relief band-aid every time, but just knowing that the person is sorry helps you to forgive. There are times when my husband tells me he is sorry, and I am still super angry. I tell him I appreciate his apology, but I'm not ready to forgive him yet, and I am still angry with him. Then I get over it, and everything is better.

As for if the other person has a right to angry with you back, I don't really know the answer to that, but I would say in this case your husband does have a right to be angry with you. You are angry about something stupid. If you husband is angry because you're angry about something stupid, I say more power to him.

I'm so sorry about your finger. I do think you are overreacting about how upset you are at him, though. We all say insensitive things, but when you say you don't want to look at him right now and are glad he's going out of town......well, that's a pretty hurtful thing to say.

I'd probably be a bit irked at him but leave it at just being a stupid comment unless he started making fun of you or acting like you were being a baby.

Separately, my dad had finger surger and almost lost his finger from infecdtion afterwards. He'd called the hospital a few days after surgery, and they'd had kind of brushed it off as needing more pain meds. So, he waited a few more days before insisting on being seen. He drove himself to the dr who then called my mom to say that they'd taken him to the hospital here he was having iv antibiotics and would either be admitted or need a ride home. I won't give the gory details, but he was very lucky that they managed to save his finger. Do not let anyone make you think it's nothing if it does not feel right...if you think something is wrong, insist on being seen.

Am I missing something? Why are you so mad at him? Because he suggested your mind might be playing tricks on you? Why is that so bad exactly? And this has you so angry that you're calling him an idiot and a name so juvenile I'm not even going to go there. Why? How old are you?

Isn't it funny when we think we are so certain what the problem is and then after closer examination we're creating a problem to deal with emotions from our "real" problems?

I do this sometimes, get totally upset about something trivial because I need to vent about the really awful things I'm dealing with. I still can't figure it out before it happens and I feel like I should see it coming, but I haven't achieved that level of wisdom yet.

Talk to your husband about your sadness over your dog and daughter moving. Tell him exactly what you need him to do to help you heal both physically and emotionally. Sounds like you've had a rough patch, I'm sure he'd like nothing more than to listen.

I have to say... Your title gave me a mental image that just won't quit. Oy.

Sometimes I wish adults WERE kids.

When my son pills stuff like this I make the theme of the month "Respect". Every single day we look at how we showed respect to other people, ourselves, etc. And how we were shown respect by others.

I show YOU respect by bringing you a concern.
You DISrespect me by etc. or show respect by etc.

Yeah.

Grownups.

Who needs em? ;)

Of COURSE its in my head, that's where my brain is, that processes sensory information. Now, as for some useful comments?

Lol, my dh is totally opposite, a total hypocondriac. When I was pregnant, he probably told me 10x per day not to slip and fall down. If I had told him that finger thing, he probably would have tried to make me go to the ER. They all have their own quirks. Save this one and next time hes puking his guts out with the flu... Are you sure its not just in your head honey?? Lol!

How do you go a week with a bandage on your finger and it not get wet? Are you washing your hands??

Saying I'm sorry is about the person apologizing wanting to make amends or clear the air. Or, maybe they just say it to move things along. I don't know.

You can decide to still stay mad after an apology. However, is it in your best interest?

Sometimes, too, 'forgive and learn' (not forget) is also okay. It helps us make adjustments in our expectations or our boundaries with others, or helps us decide we never really want to be around that person again. :)

I know how you feel, sort of. We ordered take-out the other night and my husband ate my custom-order of dinner. (The other food had an ingredient I have a strong reaction to, so 'sucking it up' wasn't going to cut it for me.) I was so disappointed, S., and seriously questioning his powers of observation. "Did you not see that the stuff you were eating had NONE of that special ingredient I can't have? Didn't we talk about the order before I called it in? Are your eyes open?"

He apologized. I tucked a grudge away for a bit of the evening, but didn't really want to hang onto it. Usually awesome husband made a stupid mistake, and then I got to decide if it was going to ruin my evening or not.
I let it go-- but I'll be sure to check the food before he starts to dig in the next time!

And I can guess at it, but in answer to your last question, at least in my situation, if my husband had been peeved at me for not letting it go-- well, we are all entitled to our feelings. As the old saying goes "All feelings are okay-- it's what we do with them that counts."

I think you might need a night out with the girls to just vent and have some fun!!

I think I was at your party recently. My son moved far, far away
Sounds like your finger is getting better.
huggggs

Oh he is a guy. They are clueless. Let it go. If you think it is wet I would look at it or call docs office. They may want to look at it. Forget what your husband said.

For moments like this I tell my husband I am giving him a mental shin kick with or without his apology. A few times I have even told him "great, you apologized but it doesn't magically make you less of an -ss." It doesn't have to be a scenario someone else's understands either. He annoyed you and it happens. I had a one woman pity party last week over something my husband did. We all get over it but in the moment it is darn annoying. Good luck and may your finger heal quickly.

LOL - sorry, but your poor husband doesn't know any better. He along with alot of other men just say "I'm sorry" cause it is safer, and it's generic because we women don't tell them WHY what they say makes us upset. So do your husband a favor, and tell him how it made you feel and maybe next time he will get it...maybe!