Ok I am beyond frustrated with this. My son turned 7 on 3/2. Ever since this past monday he has has pooped his pants for the exception of thursday. The 1st time it happened he was at the neighbors house he came home for dinner and I smelt it. He does have a 2 yr old sister and I checked her and found nothing. It wasnt until he went to get a bath that we found this out. Meanwhile he said he did it at his friends house which had been 3 hours earlier. He got asked why he did it and he response was he forgot to go. He did get yelled at for it and was sent to his room to think about it. After that it has been before he gets home from school. He says he is doing it on the bus. We told him to make sure he tries to go before he gets on the bus. Thursday was the only day that he didnt poop his pants. We have told him that if he does it and he tells us then he wont get into trouble for it. I would rather him tell me then to find it later in the laundry. Tonight he has done it twice. He did it on the bus then later on he did while in his room. 5 minutes before I went back to check on him he was in the bathroom. This time the excuse was that his sister made him laugh. I do not know what to do anymore. He did this once before and I did the retrain thing and it seemed to work. Do I contact the doctor? He does have a checkup April 7th. Do I work with him and wait till then? I did have a talk with him tonight and he tells me he dont know why he does it. He said he was not going to do it again. He knows that he is doing this. Sorry for the longness of this but I really dont know what to do from here.
Its been 2 days since his last bought of it. He has managed to make it all weekend without going in his pants. Im planning on calling the doctor in the am about this and see what he wants to do. I do believe that it is just constipation. He used to go before school and now with the time change he is either on the bus or just arriving at school when he used to go. So I think he is trying to hold it back all day and by the time he gets on the bus to come home he cant hold it any more. I will be talking to the doctor about the encropresis. As for the suggestions of it being sexual abuse. I am 100% sure that that is not the problem. He shows no other signs of it being that and isnt around anyone that would do that to him. Other than school which he loves to go to he is home with me and his father. Thanks for all the great suggestions and Ill keep you posted on what the doctor comes up with.
I would call the dr and see if he wants to see hi sooner.
Has he been under any stressful situtions. That maybe be causing this. Good luck
B.
If there is nothing medically wrong with him, then it's time for dicipline and training. Note that I said "dicipline," and not "punishment," let him know that he's not going to be punished for this, and he's not in trouble, but he's not getting rewarded for it either (ie. no desert for tonight, no movie tonight,etc.), revocation of priviledges can cause someone to change their ways in a real hurry.
And no, it's not mean, even if it is something psychological, because you need to teach your son to be a person who is strong and confident in himself to move forward with his life and not let issues of the psyche cripple himself for good; teach him to find a way be secure, not to accomodate insecurity.
Besides, you'd be revoking priviledges, not rights. No one has a "right" to cookies and a movie every night, but they do have a right to life, liberty, and the PURSUIT of happiness.
It sounds like what is happening is he is actually constipated. He needs more fiber in his diet. When his bowels become overloaded there is only two options, going poop or vomiting. So the poo that is soft enough is being squeezed out of his body. So that it relieves enough of the buildup. You can try an over the counter measure such as Miralax. Or just start feeding him more green vegetables. Make sure he is also drinking enough water.
I'm with Denise P. Our son, very close in age, has had the same problem. We were frustrated too.
LOOK INTO ENCOPRESIS. It's a condition where one gets so severely constipated that after a while it forces itself out. I hear that many of these times a child can NOT feel it. Those muscles become desensitized and they lose control.
The other suggestions may be a factor, too, for all I know, but do ask your doctor about encopresis. AND TRY NOT TO TAKE YOUR FRUSTRATION OUT ON YOUR KID.
(I don't want to sound like I'm yellin' here, just look into it. We didn't know about the diagnosis either.)
Since this is problem that started suddenly, it sounds like it's a physical response to an emotional issue. Is he being bullied? Are you going through a divorce? Was there a big change recently, or is a big change coming? See what's bugging him. Kids don't go from normal toilet habits to pooping in their pants for no reason.
Whatever you do, STOP punishing him for it. That will only make the situation worse. Approach it from compassion and you will likely find out the reason behind it.
I would suggest you do a little research on encopresis. If that is what he has he cannot help it or stop it. He will need fiber in his diet. Good luck!
Call your doctor immediately. Do NOT wait until April. This could be a sign of something very serious (not necessarily, but it could be) and could create life-long psychological scars. Kids are very cruel, and if word gets out about this at school it could follow him for the rest of his life. Please, please do not yell at him about it... it is very likely a control issue with him and someone or something. You can NOT keep him from doing it, so there is no point in getting into a battle about it. You need someone with experience in this issue to determine if the problem is physiological or psychological and get YOU and him the necessary help to deal with it.
I have a friend who's son went through this. They eventually found out it was because he was constipated. I would check with the Dr.
Has his diet changed? Maybe hes getting more fiber or something different that changes the "flow" of what hes used to. I've also understood that children start to focus on the fun they are having and less on the " functions" of the day. Maybe its just that hes enjoying the day more than hes paying attention. I'm sure hes just so embarrassed when it happens that he would rather hide than tell you. Don't punish, reward for the rights on this one. I know..easier said than done!
