Need Advice - Houston,TX

You have your hands full. Lots of good comments. Here are some more.

1) You are in Houston. Call 211, this is a state/major city telephone number. Explain that you need assistance for your son, they can give you numbers for Easter Seals, United Way and other agencies that may have services to help you with Early Intervention Care ,which can bring people into your home to work with your son on speech and behavoir, occupation and physical therapy. There is no fee associated with the EIC program.

2) Talk to your doctor, ask if a) an anti depressant is appropriate, b) a handicap parking placard is appropriate.

3) Find a way to get some exercise..even if it is just walking around the neighbourhood with your son in a stroller, or something like that. Take him to the park, let him run supervised, get him on the swing.

My son had lost his speech, could not go to HEB/WalMart/Costco without screaming. His sensory neverous system was overloaded and overwhelmed. Through Easter Seals, we were able to have speech therapists and occupational therapists work with our son, and us, so that we could learn how to interact in a way that got him to communicate with us effectively, and help calm his sensory system. If you have a computer, I suggest getting Sesame Street learning programs that involve Elmo. Elmo seems to connect with kids who have sensory/speech/etc problems. Our son was ultimately diagnosed with Autism, but if you saw him today, 5 years later, you wouldn't think he was any different from the other kids in the playground or classroom. It has not been easy getting to this point.

3) Talk to your pediatrician and get a nutritioninst. Get a book called Children with Starving Minds..and evaluate what your diet and your families diet is. Many times allergies to wheat, corn, artificial sweeteners, corn/corn syrup can affect the behavior of our children. Give my guy corn syrup or wheat, and I have a monster who will not listen, who is hyper and aggressive. Get it out of his system, and my angel reappears. Also, check dairy...some react to it.

4) The anti-depressant, it is not a joke, and don't take it lightly. Getting a load of laundry done was a major accomplishment. My life was extremely overhwelming and I was exhausted with dealing with my child, my older son, my husband, my parents, and my father dying of cancer. Life is hard. When you are stressed out the hormone system is affected, your cortisol levels go up, you are constantly challenged to be ready to react to the next crisis, and your body is on a tightrope. There is a time to stop and seek help, physically and mentally. If you have a good relationship with your doctor, you can talk with him/her. If you don't, go find a better doctor, because what you are dealing with is not going to go away, it is going to get better, but there is a lot of work involved. Love your older children, give them hugs, lots of them, give them some moments of your time just for them, go to a movie, a show, a sport game, something, and let them know that there are moments of sunshine and love..you and they need it. Your younger one will get better and will survive your absence.

Good luck. Don't give up on your self. My doctor had beent alking to me for over a year about trying an antidepressant. I resisted. By the time I called and told the nurse I needed an appointment to talk with him about getting one, they called the pharmacy to get the rx that day, called me back to give me an appointment with the dr for the next day, told me to go pick up the rx NOW, and called me back in an hour to make sure I had gotten it. When I saw the dr the next day we had a laugh, then he told me that by the time people even think they need one, they are in trouble. The anti-depressant worke. I no longer felt overwhelmed, I could manage the demands on my mind and body and time, I stopped over reacting to my older child, and no longer had expectations of his behavior that were not age appropriate. There is a time to get off the drug, but not yet. And I know now just how hard things can be. You are not alone. You have more people than you can even begin to think of who have been where you are, and they are ok now. You will be too, but don't be so proud and stubborn to think you don't need help or there is no help. Make that call, talk to these people, get a case manager, and start working on a plan that will let you and your family live as a family, and get the help your baby needs.

God Bless.

D., that is great that he is being tested because then you can know better what he needs and the right approach to take with him. My adopted daughter had similar issues and I found that music really helped alot to calm and soothe her. I hope you try it. Also, you need a break. Is there anyone who can give you a few hours break every day or every other day or maybe a good daycare for a few hours? His doctor will guide you in the right direction. It turned out that our daughter may be autistic and she is getting speech therapy and I am staying home and teaching her as much as I can at home. But, they cannot be pressured or pushed you really have to adjust your life around them. It isn't easy and prayer really helps. Pray for patience and guidance and above all a kind doctor and I also pray for God to heal her. I believe in miracles. Don't give up and do ask for help. God bless you. D., Natchez Rehab has VERY good speech therapist there, Ms. Tuccio. She would probably be a blessing to you.

the cut off for first steps is 3, you might talk to your pedi... ask them if they know of any respite care that you could take advantage of.... I never used it, but I believe the people are trained to deal with children with disabilities...basically kind of baby sitting, to give you a rest... just an idea

Bless your heart. Like one of the other mom's said, "Don't give up." I saw a story similar to this on Super Nanny one time. I'm not sure if they sell copies of the show on DVD, but they probably do. I'm sure you can find it on Amazon. I don't remember exactly what supernanny did to help, but it worked. I wish I had some advice, but unfortunately all I can do is support you. Motherhood is the hardest job in the world, but you can do it!!! The rewards are SO great! Hang in there!

Hi D.! I have a friend who's son was 2 mths premature. He's younger than your son. He just turned two. I have taken care him quite a bit and he has behavior problems as well. Last week his therapist came by and was asking me about his speech and behavior. I told her the few words I had heard him say and that the other day he had been wanting something but wouldnt show me or tell me. He just kept making that whining lil sound. So he threw himself on my floor and pitch a big ol fit.I told him to come get me when he was done and show me what he wanted. When he realized I wasn't paying him any attention he got up walked over took my hand and led me to the kitchen cabinet.The therapist said thats what we should do. Just know there are other parents and babysitters in the same situation.
T.

D.,
My son was born at 28 weeks and also has many of the same issues you list. Dylan has been diagnosed with autism. It sounds like your son could be on the autism spectrum as well. Have the drs. tested him for autism? There is a lot of information out there on it as well as a kind of checklist for autism in toddlers. If you are interested, please email me. The earlier they are diagnosed the better the chances are that therapy will be able to really make a difference. Dylan is 4 now and believe me, I know exactly how you feel. Smells, noises, too many people around, it is a nightmare. You are not alone, I am walking in your shoes. Where are you located?

G.

Well for one, you can't just give up... As a mother I am sure you know that you could never do that. Your child probably needs special schooling, etc. It would help him if he was enrolled in a program for kids with disabilities... There people are trained to help him learn things, like speech and potty training. But I think if anything you should try a little harder, and not expect him to be a regular 3 yr old level... He will always be behind, and there is nothing worng with that... just accept it, and learn to treat him as if he was still one. Cuddle with him, give him lots of love.. he may not understand much of what you are saying yet also, so give him time. I don't have a child with disability, but my oldest who is now 10, was slow at doing many things.. and i remember worrying about it like you. It took him a while to speak, etc... but it was just a delay... He has always been the quiet type, and that's just him... but I look at my 4yr old, and well, he is quite the opossite... so they are all so different. Don't compare your kids, and teach your older children to give him lots of love and understanding too. I think I read that you have an advanced high schooler... well, i can see your frustration in all of this... but listen, you need to worry about the little one. Your high schooler is smart, he'll do fine.. don't worry much about him. I would dedicate myself more to the little one. Life will just be fine, worry about what's important... lots of love, compasion, understanding. Life is not about how fast we get ahead, it's about remembering how we got to were we are. Perhaps your oldest can be a doctor one day, learning about his youngest brother, etc. Things we learn at home sometimes are more important than getting into college fast... let him or her help you read to his youngest brother, etc. Your child might benefit from lots of reading to.. singing to... talking to... don't worry so much on what he can do, but on wheather he undestands he is loved... and that will help him more than you can imagine. Bless your heart as mother, I know it's not easy. The lord gave this task just for you, because he believes in you... that's what I tell myself when times are tough... I hope this helps. Take time for yourself too... you probably might need a little bit of time just for you. Maybe if you get your child in a daycare for a few hours a week, and get yourself a part time, just to get out.. or perhaps use that time to do the things you cna't do with your child.
good luck, & god bless you and your children always.

Hi D.,

I'm not sure about the school district you are in, but in San Antonio you can call your local school and ask for him to be evaluated for PPCD (Preschool Program for Children with Disabilities). It's free to test and free if he qualifies. My son was in it starting from age three. The school bus would pick him up in front of our house every day and for half a day he would get the help he needed and I would get some time to relax and get things done around the house that were impossible while I was caring for him. I would look into this first and then I second the suggestion for an anti depressant. I've been in your shoes and wish someone would have pointed me in that direction. PM me if you need to talk or have any other questions. Just hang in there- things will get better!