my son will be 4 in june, he has always been a bit overactive but i thought as he got older it would kind of fade. i even put him in soccer this year thinking it would run out some of his extra energy. lol yeah right in my dreams. anyways, the final straw was when i went to pick him up from school and the teacher told me he had to be sent to the office, yes the office at the age of three. he had to got to the office because during clean-up time he hit another little boy (my son never hits i have taught him over and over that is not okay)as his teacher was talking to him about it he slapped her to, which is a huge issue because this is not like him at all. he is usually so loving expecially towards this teacher. he has also began to throw fits again, he hasn't done this for months and we haven't had any real changes so if some one could help me figue out something i can do i would appriciate it.
Hi M.,
Just wonddering if you have considered nutrition? Artifical colors and sugar can impact a childs behavior.
If you are interested here is a great webinar by Dr Sears, Pediatrition. You may have some of his baby books. https://www.nsavirtualoffice.com/uploads/fckeditor/nsa/Fl...
I hope that helps!
L.
www.DenverJuicePlus.com
We are in the midst of this too with our 3 year old son. His preschool was really structured and he would get in trouble for not napping but then hitting the teacher when she would expect him to lie quietly for 2 hours on his mat (an active 3 year old boy? Are you kidding me??). We switched to a school with a lot more outside play time and more independent or small group play rather large group structured activities for indoor time. It is working much better and he is a lot happier. Good luck!
M., not that I have a huge amount of success in this area but I can sympathize with the situation. I have a three year old that has been on and off aggressive for the past year. he is a loving sweet boy but with random unpredictable aggressive behavior that we are still pinpointing. My only thoughts on this subject, especially because this is so unusual for you little guy is that because kids feed off of negative and positive attention is to deal with this situation but as simply and calmly as possible worrying about it and expending a lot of attention, which sadly he got by being set to the principle... seriously as it being so out of the ordinary the teacher really should have dealt with it herself. Will only make it a bigger deal to your little guy. So we as parents have to do what we need to do but do just that and focus on what you do as benefiting your kid. With my child I have and still am working on not worrying about what everyone else is thinking of him or of me or how embarrassing the situations are... but what do i need to do to help my kid over come this problem... what does he need, why did this happen? so although I have no definite answers for you, really figure out what to do that is best for you little guy and then once you figure out a plan of action get the support of others even this teacher to help you make it work.
IT might be a good idea to have him tested for milk allergies. Milk is likely to be the cause of this type of behavior.
Hi M., The first thing I would be looking at is not his behaviour (you say this is not like him) but his sleep. Kids of this age need about 11 1/2 hours overnight sleep all in one block. During the day he may be in a bit of a transition phase where he sometimes needs a day sleep and gets it and sometimes needs it and doesn't get. Usually the day sleep has essentially evaporated by about 4yrs old.
If the kids even miss 30 -45 mins on their sleep needs their nehaviour suffers. Not 'naughty' just tired and one of the ways to tell is that later in the day he is just bouncing off the walls. A good time to tell is between about 4.00 - 5.00pm. If he is good company then fine, if he is not then he needs an early dinner and an early night by as much as 45 mins. Don't hold him up to get him more tired as he will be overtired and sleep less efficiently and may wake early. Get his night sleep in shape and my guess is that you will see the return of the little angel you are used to seeing in your house. Cheers. S.
He may just be acting like a three-year old. My son turned from angel baby to devil baby overnight when he hit three and did not return to human being status for about six months. Then he was fine, again. This may just be one of those age-related developmental things. You do need to set appropriate boundaries for this behavior and not let him get by with it, though.
You might also try removing sugar and artificial flavorings and colorings from his diet.
I have a couple of resources for you to look into to see if these sound like your son. I'm not sure how your son has been growing up, but he sounds like he could have some sensory issues. Here are a couple of websites that you can go look to see if they sound like your son at all, and they will give you resources.
http://www.out-of-sync-child.com/
http://www.mysensorychild.blogspot.com/
If you feel like you need more information on this subject because it does sound like your son, let me know.
I would caution against punishing at home after punishment at school has already taken place. We did that with my oldest, and it meant that he felt that he was a horrible kid and that he didn't have anywhere to feel safe. I would check into whether this is the right school for him. He may be acting out his frustration in the only way he can think of.
This all sounds sort of normal to me. Just because a short burst of hitting behavior is alarming, doesn't mean it's not normal. And many boys are wildly energetic -- it may not dissipate for many years, and it's not supposed to, actually.
Keep him involved in sports. He needs one man intimately involved in his life until he grows up, and that should be an unclde or grandpa, not a new beau, for a myriad of reasons. Boys can't learn how to control their naturally aggressive tendencies from women -- they have to learn it from a close male role model who has successfully learned to control his own aggressive tendencies.
Dr. Laura covers this topic every day on her radio show. The show is on 1310 AM between 1-4 PM and re-broadcast on 630 AM at 8 PM.
I've heard that karate classes have helped a lot of children who are energetic and act out in little bouts of physical contact. It teaches them control and all sorts of other great traits to have. Ive been thinking of putting my son in it and will probably do so when our financial situation is a tad better.
Three is a very hard age especially I found with boys, endless energy, testing their boundaries and finding out they can try and control things. It is to some degree very normal. I found when my kids were going through growth spurts and not getting good sleep was what set them off more then anything.
Also with boys I learned that putting up visuals is a really good way to keep them on task. Put up a chart, seven days in that week for a month or two. For every bad decision he makes a frowny face. Each frown have a consequence, something that will sink in for him, losing time off bedtime, a favorite toy taken away for 24 hours, losing priviledges going to the park, whatever he thinks is important enough use.
For every day he does well, big praise and thank yous have him even put the smiley up himself. When he is good in class, etc, then a happy face. With 7 happy faces in a row, have a special reward, little toy, new book, ice cream out...something that motivates him.
Kids this age tend to just react without thought, if he is angry he is reacting to that anger as boys are less verbal and tend to be more physical in their reactions.
Just really stress if he gets into trouble at school, he will be in trouble at home as well.
Make sure he is getting good sleep, a huge thing that can cause hyperactivity and outbursts. At three he should be getting at least 13 hours total with or without naps.
Make sure his sugar intake is minimal especially at school.
He is testing his boundaries, defining limits for himself. As long as you are consistent, have consequences for his actions and drive the point home what is not acceptable, it will sink in.
Maybe help give him words to use when he is angry and practice with him instead of hitting. Also asking my kids how they would feel if someone hit them worked in their brains. Then teach him when it is okay to talk to the teacher about someone not playing nice with him (not tattling on everything). Make sure you know what the structure is at school too. Do they do time outs, do they listen if there is a problem with kids, do they teach children to communicate if there is a problem?
Hang in there, my son is the sweetest thing however at 3 that was a bumpy time with him figuring things out. I just stayed on top of it, stayed consistent and HE LOVED the chart system as he could visually track how he was doing. Positive praise worked wonders for him too.
Here's the deal. If he is acting the same way toward everyone in every situation, there may be some medical issues you need to investigate. If it is situational - he is an angel some places consistently and acts out consisently in others - you have a behavioral issue on your hands. Hopefully that can give you a place to start. Talk to his pediatrician - he or she can help you determine which it is and give you some guidance as to how to start addressing the issues. I wish you the best.
