Our next door neighbors recently purchased a trampoline for their 3 children (8, 10 & 13). We live in a duplex so our backyards are open (making one BIG backyard). The trampoline is in their yard. It has a safety net and my kids have been asked to play on it on occasion. The problem is the neighbor kids are somewhat combative about how/when my kids can play. For example, they ask my kids to do things for them in order to "earn" playtime on the trampoline (fetch balls thrown from the trampoline, etc.).
Before the trampoline arrived, my son broke his finger while playing on their slip-n-slide. I have not allowed him on the trampoline because he's in a cast. Recently the neighbor kids told him he would never be allowed to play on it because if he was hurt they did not want to pay the bill. I never talked to the parents when he broke his finger. I was not upset with them. It was an accident and I knew my son was playing on their slip-n-slide. I can only assume the parents have made this comment to the kids.
The other problem is the neighbor kids don't seem to have a bedtime. Our kids are in bed by 8:30 or 9 at the latest. These kids are up way past dark jumping on the trampoline, screaming and yelling sometimes past 10pm. My kids hear them and it creates issues with my kids getting out of bed to whine about why they aren't allowed to stay up and play. Also, the master bedroom window faces the backyard. Even with tv or music on I can hear their bouncing and screaming.
I'm not crazy about starting trouble-which is how any requests for quiet would be perceived by the parents. Any advice?
You are in a lose-lose situation. I assume this is a rental you are in due to the duplex..? I would just move! It will be easier than dealing with neighbors that already lack respect of other people!
In addition to what everyone else has said already, check your local curfew laws - they may be violating them as they would be "away from their usual dwelling house" (since they're not in the house), and I'm assuming without the supervision of a parent or guardian. These neighbors really sound like they care about themselves and fear legal retribution (i.e. it sounds like they weren't concerned about your son's broken finger but more afraid of you suing them), and I doubt (if I am correct about that) they will care about you and your children's routine and need for quiet. A few visits from the police educating them about curfew hopefully will get the parents making sure that when curfew hits, their kids are inside.
It sounds like you are not really friendly with the parents of these kids. Kids say and do all sorts of wierd stuff, so you need to disregard most of what they say.
I would talk to the mom or dad and tell them you are grateful for the offer to share the toys, but due to the age difference, would it be OK if your kids could use the trampoline when the bigger kids were not using it. That way you would be supervising and the bigger kids could not use your kids as slaves. The only times I've seen kids get hurt on a trampoline is when bigger kids were on the same time as littler ones.
As far as the noise level, even if the parents tell them to be quieter, kids are not going to remember. I would still talk to the parents though and tell them that your kids have a bedtime and ask if they could at least try to hold down the noise after 9PM.
You could also try playing the TV or a radio in the kids rooms as a sort of "white noise" to help them drift off.
My kids have a pool and I am constantly telling them the police are going to be coming because the screaming is so loud! My nieghbors are probably really annoyed, but at least they are not quite that close! Still, if one of them complained to me, I would try to work out some sort of solution.
Good Luck,
L.
I'm not sure you have much you can do:( When you live in a douplex or something similar with close or attached housing, you go in to it knowing that there will be more noise than houses with yards (not that this stops my son from watching the neighbors play from HIS window either...)
I'm guessing the only thing you can do is tell the neighbors that you don't blame them for the finger and wouldn't blame them for your kids' injuries on the tramp unless one of their children did something on purpose.
As for the noise, unless it's past the cut-off for your local noise ordinance, you can nicely ask that they keep it down, but that's it. If they are in violation of the ordinance, you can tell them so and then call the cops if they don't comply.
I don't think there is much you can do about the difference in bedtime, and it is unreasonable to expect kids to be quiet on a trampoline. Just explain to your kids that what works for one person's family doesn't necessarily work for yours.
You might want to talk to the parents and get a clear understanding of the rules for the trampoline as far as your kids go.
Hello L....
I would ask the parents about the comments and ask them if they can have their kids keep it down at night, because you are trying to keep your kids in bed at night. Its not fair having selfish neighbors and it really truly sounds like mom and dad don't care what the kids do or say.
If things don't get taken...you are eventually gonna get tired enough of it and get all stressed out. Its not good. Been there done that..and sometimes are still dealing with it...I would get a hold of the landlord/police department if it resumes after you had talked to them about the noise pollution after dark. It is the law to have quiet time..
or you can be like my sister and get up early in the morning and blare music/tv or let your kids run wild and crazy and be noisy. Good grief...I would seriously take it up a notch and talk to the parents though. See what they will do..if anything. If not than I would talk to the landlord or police department about it. After so many complaints they get a fine.
DO NOT LET THEM GO ON THE TRAMPOLINE! Talk to your pediatrician. He can probably tell you horror stories. Just tell your kids that you talked to the pediatrician and he/she said that they are too dangerous and that they are not allowed to go on. This trampoline issue always seems to pop up. I am one of the few parents who forbade the children to go on. Let the doc be the bad guy.
I would just tell the police to tell them to be quiet. Most editions have rules about noise ordinances. Just let the police take care of it. You might also inquire as to what the association rules are as well. In that way, you are not ever involved directly. I think normal talking voices are around 60-70 decibals. So... a child screaming and laughing is much higher. Making excessive noise is a concern that many people have. You might be surprised, but your other neighbors may be annoyed by it as well.
Hmm....thats a toughy. If you talk to the other parent's all the time, then I would mention it in casual conversation. When the two of you are talking about the kids, just kinda laugh and say "Yeah, your kids said that 'junior' can't play on the trampoline because if he gets hurt, they don't want to pay the bill. Its funny the things kids come up with." and laugh it off, like you didn't think a thing of it, and have the attitude of "kids will be kids" and see how she responds. If she stammers and doesn't know what to say, then just say something casual like, "I mean, we all know that kids have accidents. I'd never expect you guys to pay for something like that."
I dunno. I'm not the greatest diplomat, but I would say, if you do so, I would keep it friendly. Don't act like you're accusing the parents, you know what I mean? I don't know how well you know the neighbors, though, and if you don't know them well, it could be a little harder.
Good luck, and don't forget to let us know what happened. ;)
Do you have anything at your house that needs to be 'looked at by the landlord'? It might not hurt if he/she was alerted to the fact that the neighbors purchased a trampoline. It affects your homeowners insurance. Some companies have trampoline exclusions, but most likely, if the trampoline was just bought there's no homeowners insurance covering it. There are trampoline related injuries that are much worse than a broken arm or foot. Someone needs to be insured.
My son broke his collarbone on the neighbor's trampoline when he was 5. He didn't fall off of it, he was jumping w/bigger kids and just fell wrong. They're fun at times, but dangerous too.
Good luck. Dealing with ill-mannered neighbors is not fun.
You don't say whether you even want the kids to be allowed to play on the trampoline or not. If you are okay with them playing on it then simply explain to your kids that if they are asked to play and you say it's okay that's fine, but that you don't want to catch them playing on it unless they've been asked, and that you also don't want to see them bargaining with the neighbors kids about play time either. At six they are old enough to understand the majority of the speech about how real friends treat you the way they want to be treated. Explain the basics of the golden rule to your children and they will stand up for themselves when the boogersnots next door get pushy. I wouldn't worry about the paying for it comment, just let that one roll off your back. As far as the neighbor kids playing outside after bedtime, with your kids enforce the "My kids my rules" thing. If the kids are out there being loud after bedtime I would go to them directly the first time and explain that you'd like them to keep it down because it is after your kids bedtime. If the problem persists go to the parents and explain that the noise is keeping your kids up. If you still have a problem after that I would complain to the landlord. Regardless of whether you want to start trouble or not you are entitled to the peaceful enjoyment of your own property.
In general, I would keep to my rules with my own children, making it clear to them that your family does things this way etc.
As to the trampoline, I would not let my children play on it unless I was in the yard keeping watch.
Do the neighbors have rules about the trampoline?
If not, then I think it should be off limits.
My grandchildren have one....they are small, and only two can be on it at a time, and an adult has to be in the yard.
Any whining and complaining from your children should not be tolerated.
If your neighbors ways do not jibe with the way you raise your children then your only responsibility is to be polite to them.
As to the noise, I would politely ask if they could keep it down say after 9 p.m.
I am not sure what the next step would be if they do not cooperate.
Good luck.
