My sincere feeling is that we are still missing something amidst all this discussion about gay marriage, and in all the recent tragedies involving hatred towards people whose skin color, sexual orientation, religion, or ethnicity is different from our own.
I personally do not object to the decision made today, and I hope your son finds happiness. I have been married to my husband for 32 years and we didn't know each other very long before we got married. I had dated a guy for 3 years and broke up with him just before meeting my husband. We've been through good times and bad but we still are together. We both just knew that we were meant to be together.
But what's missing from all the arguments, discussions, fights, protests and celebrations, is personal responsibility, accountability and decency. Too many people are demanding that they be treated in a specific way. Instead of trying to figure out whose lives matter, and instead of declaring who and who may not marry or worship or gather, and instead of trying to classify people into groups and classes and with labels, why can't we simply take on the personal responsibility to be kind, to treat all people with respect, and to act lawfully?
I may not agree with (or even understand) your religious beliefs, or your sexual behaviors, or whether you're married to someone of the opposite gender or the same gender, or your decision to be a vegan or only eat fast food from a drive-thru window or only eat home-grown organic food, or your decisions about vaccinations, or your opinions about school choices, or if you've cheated on your spouse, or if you live together, or have an open marriage, or if you are an atheist, or if you go to church every single day, or if you hate cats or if you have a pet giraffe. We may differ in our skin color, ancestry, lifestyle, occupation, family life, and beliefs. We may be healthy, or slightly ill, or seriously ill, or disabled, or dying, or thriving. We may be poor, rich, homeless, or meeting with our personal designer to order our custom made solid gold appliances. We may be struggling with hard decisions, or having a pretty comfortable life. None of us is completely alike.
But what matters is how I treat you. I have a personal responsibility to be kind, to be respectful, and to be decent to you. I will raise my objections if you are being cruel to a child or a defenseless person, believe me. But it's not so much about how you deserve to be treated, it's about my responsibility to treat you with respect and kindness.
I really think we need to stop classifying people. We are humans. If I meet your son in a coffee shop some day, I won't call him "that gay guy who ordered the latte". I will smile if we pass each other, or perhaps hand him the sugar if he says "excuse me, could you pass the sugar?" or hold the door for him if he's balancing 6 cups of coffee to go, or say "thank you" if he holds the door for me. We'll be 2 humans, not a "young LGBT guy" and a "middle aged heterosexual woman".
Regardless of his ethnic ancestry, or whom he has married, or whether he speaks with an accent, or has a disability, or if he has pink hair and piercings and tattoos, or is in a $4,000 Italian suit with manicured nails, or is with a wife and 2 kids, or with his husband, or with 12 kids or no kids, my duty - my responsibility - my personal accountability - is to be kind and respectful and polite and civil and decent. It's on ME to behave politely.
I think we've lost sight of that. And I hope that today is a day of kindness to humans, by humans. Is this possible?