I am up for a big promotion at work. I was pulled aside and warned about my friendship with a former coworker. Someone on the hiring team told me some bosses feel like I may have been told things by the woman and I might be hard to work with if I believed her. I was told awful things after she quit but I have already distanced myself because I realized on my own she is trouble.
We were work buddies, nothing more. I plan on saying nothing unless asked by my bosses. When she was working there and secretly being investigated, I did stand up for her because when I was around, she was doing everything right. I don't want to lose out on an opportunity. My family would benefit greatly from this. Should I just sit back and wait or should I approach the head boss and reassure him? If I knew what she was really like, I would have said I am just a coworker and am not in a position to judge. That sounds disloyal to me. What is the best way to handle this?
I would have a conversation and keep it short and sweet. If you don't have the conversation, you might be passed by. Show some confidence and let them know that if you get the job, you will not let them down.
Sandy:
Congratulations on your possible promotion!!! Don't celebrate too soon!!
Leave it be. They need to judge you on the work you perform for them. If you have distanced yourself from her, keep it that way.
I am wondering WHO pulled you aside. If that person has something to do with your being promoted, going back to them and reassuring them that you have distanced yourself, might work. Other than that? I would NOT approach the head boss unless he came to you directly.
DO NOT get involved in office gossip. If the person who pulled you aside has NOTHING to do with your promotion - DO NOT continue the gossip. Just let it go.
Good luck!
because i have zero subtlety, or skill in navigating the tricky waters of office politics, the only way i could handle this would be KISS. i would not repeat anything. i would not assume anything. i would not share anything. if asked, i would be honest, but not feel compelled to vomit out everything i'd been told.
and i would discourage people from over-sharing with me.
keep your head down and focus on work.
you can't prophylactically disassociate from everything. sometimes you're going to share a laugh with the 'wrong' person, or someone you're fond of will end up on the wrong side of the office political spectrum. but if you're not deeply enmeshed in the gossip circle, if you're not the one to whom everyone runs to spill the beans, if you're a little distant from the whirly social center, you will do yourself a professional favor.
do NOT approach the boss. behave as if all this drama is beneath your notice (which it should be.) if he asks you direct questions, answer them as honestly and simply as possible. don't volunteer information and for goodness sake, don't start proffering excuses. you don't owe your former work buddy 'loyalty' by defending her, and you don't owe your boss a bucketful of gossip. i'll bet that if you assume and behave as if the drama is nothing to do with you, the boss will too.
your best bet for taking advantage of the opportunity is to hold to the highest professional standards. decline any invitations to mudwrestle.
khairete
S.
This is something I have to tell my younger sister. Stay out of it. Stay out of the office gossip. Leave your personal life at home. Don't get invovled in anything that isn't your business, which is a lot at the office.
Very few people know any part of my life story in my office. It makes my life SO easy. A few do, but only a select few. The others are fully aware of the amazing parts of my life, but don't know of the not so great days. It's not their business.
Don't talk about people. Don't get involved. Like I said, I tell my baby sister these things and she is just starting out. It's the same thing you tell your kids in life. Mind your own business and life will be easier.
I am kind of worried for you being in a place that secretly investigates someone. Did she not KNOW that she was being investigated? I think that's a bit strange... Most large corporations actually bring the person into a meeting that is documented so that they have all their ducks in a row to fire them, and usually the firing isn't done until 3 meetings have been documented, usually with the employee having to sign that they understand that they are in trouble... I had to do that with an employee, and used it to demote her. Thank goodness she went and found another job so that she didn't have to get fired.
If she didn't embezzle or sleep with every man in the office, or cook the books, I don't know what she would have done to deserve a "secret investigation". I realize you need the money, but make sure that you ALWAYS document, document, document and cover your butt in everything that you do. Know your job inside and out and don't "trust" them to treat you right just because you are you. If a company would do this to her, they might do it to you as well...
As far as what to say is concerned? I think that I would just say that you were not the boss back then, you answered truthfully about what you knew at the time, and then you paid attention to your own job and your own business. I would only say this to the person on the hiring team, and not bring it up with the boss unless she or he brings it up first.
Tread carefully in this job, Sandy. I wish you much luck.
Looking at your other question I am rather confused, is this the same promotion you were up for a couple months ago?
Really how we would answer would depend on the type of work and what was going on.
In general you have made your bed you have to lie in it. They have made their judgement and if you try to defend yourself it will more than likely make it worse.
Again depending on what type of business you are in, how you address it makes a huge difference. Your best course is to own it.
Listen to Suz T - she's right on the money!
I get the impression that this work place is like some kind of secret gistapo or something -- they were secretly investigating a worker -- what the hell -- who does that!? Really -- that's the only way to figure out whether someone is working properly and or getting along with things and others. I don't think so. This would make me uneasy about the people and policy makers I work with/for.
Anyway, I know office politics can be pretty messed up and so many people are back biters. But try to let yourself feel a sense of balance and ease, it can't be good to feel uneasy when you're working. Nervous or fearful energy is just going to create more nervous, fearful energy. This will affect people around you.
It's rather hard to judge this as you didn't say what kind of work this is or how they're actually associating you with her or what she did and most importantly who pulled you aside. You say she's on the hiring team, maybe she's pulling for you maybe not. Maybe she wanted to get your take on things, see what your response would be. You didn't say what your response was to her when she told you about the bosses feelings.
If you're concerned you could go back to that person if she actually has to do with your promotion and speak to her to clarify. Other wise I wouldn't say anything. Did the bosses put her up to this or not. Do you know? If they didn't going to the boss will be bad.
The best to you and I hope you get your position
