On the Verge of exploding(LOOOOOONG)

I was going to suggest exactly what Erika M. suggested. Sounds like such a creative & unique opportunity for an art student. You could even inquire at a college child development / education department , for a cheap sitter. I feel so bad for you but I think if you can just come up with a plan of attack for now, a lot of stress will be lifted.

You are totally overwhelmed.
Next year at this time things will be different.

I'd figure out a way to prioritize your time. Don't be a slave to your clients. Have certain hours set that you will answer the phone, check emails, play with kids, do some housework. Section out your day.

Get a sitter and you and husband get away for a night or a wknd. You both sound lost in the "machine". Money is not the way to happiness. Don't keep killing yourself trying to make it. Look at your life and make some changes so you are not living above your means of current income.... downsize.

You need to get away, and you need to spend time talking to your husband, you guys have a wall up, the wall of STRESS. He's probably just as, or even more stressed (because he's the man and supposed to be the provider) as you are. Try to FALL TOGETHER and not fall APART.

And CRYING is good for you, so let the tears roll by all means!!

ETA: Hire your 10 yr old to do some of your work either house or babysitting wise--- 10 is a ripe age to begin to learn responsibility to the family to make the unit work.

In addition to hiring a babysitter/mother's helper, I recommend checking with some local colleges about getting an intern for your husband's business. It sounds like he works in a craftman-type business? He could probably find either an apprentice or intern who would work for free for college credit. Contact the art department, business college, local community colleges. If he is working on events like weddings, many college event planning programs REQUIRE that their students work a certain number of hours apprenticing with wedding/event vendors. Maybe you could barter with someone who needs your husband's talents and would be willing to work with him, help with paper work so you can meet clients, or even do your yard work in exchange...maybe the local high school prom or theater department could benefit from his services (just guessing on possibilities, since you didn't specify the service) and some high school kids would trade their work for his. You are trying to do three jobs at once, and it is too much. Once you explore options for help on the work and home front, you can look into a career for yourself.
I know it is hard. Hang in there- there are creative options out there, you do not have to be "stuck" with the current status of things!! Best of luck!!

How long have you been in business? Keep in mind that the first two or three years are not typically years when you make profit. They're years of building the business from the ground up and you take on a lot of personal financial loss. This can be claimed on your taxes.

Secondly, remember that every year, everyone deserves a raise for hard work. Look at the cost of materials, the cost of services you're providing, the rate of work per hour that's being actually performed, and see what the work your husband is doing is actually worth. I would bet that he's underpaying himself. You should also calculate in a modest amount for a contract fee per job, and have that cover a bit of overhead. Yes, you want competitive, but not at the cost of doing work essentially for free.

See if you can talk to a business analyst who can help you both budget your time and resources better for the business. See if you can find materials that are good quality, at least as good quality as he's currently using, but cost less. See if he can get a couple of companies to bid for his services. If he's painting, then let a couple of paint wholesalers know and see who gives him the best cost.

Get updated computer software that will help keep the business budgetary things organized for you and keep track of the nickel and diming.

See about college shop or art students who are looking to do internships and are willing to work for little to nothing in order to get college credits. If your husband can work something out with a local university that could really work in your advantage.

You are not a SAHM.
You are a WORKING Mom. But the thing is, you are working... WHILE having to be a Mom and have the kids with you.

The business is overriding everything and every aspect of your lives. But you need to survive.
But it does not seem to be working.
You need extra help, for the business.
No one, can continue that way.
It will destroy yourself, your Husband and marriage.... and the kids sense of balance.

You can't work, and have the kids tagging along at the same time.
You need a Mommy's Helper or Nanny.

You and Husband are going, berzerk!
You are a working Mom.
And your Husband is also, slammed with things too.
Please... just don't go into a "competition" about who has it worse, you or him. That will only, erode your relationship.
And it is a bad "habit" to get into with your Husband about who has it worse you or him.
Try.... to be a "Team" about everything, so that you both remember, that you and he is what matters.
Then problem solve the business.
Or, maybe someone can get a 2nd job? Or do a job change?
Do you both, LOVE this business? Or is it, or has it become, just an Albatross around your necks???
Because, you CANNOT, run a business this way. With only your Husband doing it, or only you doing it.
You both simply, do NOT have the manpower, to do this, successfully.
You both are already up to the gills in bills and lack of manpower.
Sure it is his dream... but really, it is not being managed well.
Or, he is taking on more jobs than he can handle. And if so, then the Clients... will suffer. And then word of mouth, will be negative about your services.
He can't take on more than he can handle.

My only advice is to try and make small changes to lighten your load for the time being. Is school starting soon? Your oldest will be in school, and maybe you can hire a college student for a few hours a day or a couple days a week to take care of your younger kids. They often have flexible school schedules and are looking for flexible jobs that work around their schedules. I agree with the poster below that you should set up a schedule of when you can take calls and meet with clients. Maybe just do it in the mornings, then have the afternoons to take care of your kids and house. It's your business. You call the shots.

Best wishes!

Well, you can't do a work from home job & still be able to handle your family life without any help. Hire a babysitter, or mother's helper during your pique work hours.

You have your hands full. We have 4, ages 1, 3, 4 and 6, and I'm a SAHM, always trying to keep up but never quite succeeding. (OK, some days it's not even close).

So, doing that AND working out of the home with them underfoot does sound stressful, my goodness!

First, school needs to start and that will occupy the 10-year-old, right? And perhaps after-care would be inexpensive enough to enroll in?

Even as a SAHM, I'm using a daycare to get my son from school and have him there 1/2 hour because I need to coordinate 3 kids at 3 different schools (1 elementary and 1 preschool). I can't be in two places at once, let alone 3!

You are pulled in so many directions. Hang in there!

It can be very stressful to run a family business, let alone try to do it while caring for 3 kids. Obviously something needs to change for you right now.

My DH and I run a business together, though not out of our home. As the bosses we are last to get paid and it adds a lot of stress. When our son was born, we brought him to work and I cared for him there but it meant that I had to switch to a role that was less time demanding. When he was 7 months we put him in daycare but by the time he was 2 it was obvious that it wasn't working. Our son was stressed, I was stressed and unhappy. It was the hardest thing I have ever done, but I sat down with my DH (and our relationship coach) and told him that I needed out for now. DH felt like I was abandoning him and his business. But I stuck to my main points and we decided to give it a try. The business didn't suffer as much as he had thought it would during my absence. I was still available behind the scenes to help him make decisions. Once our son was in 1st grade I went back to work with our business.

So in your situation:
1) Calculate how much uninterrupted time during the day you need to do the task for the business. Then hire someone to watch the kids during that time. I know money is tight but you will be much more efficient. You should collect an hourly salary that is still higher after taxes than what you pay the sitter.
2) Take a hard look at the prices you are charging for the services that the business provides. It is easy for small businesses to underestimate what they have to charge to make ends meet.
3) I think it is very important that your husband keep regular hours as it relates to the business. Otherwise you will be a single parent.
4) Reassess every 6 months as to how things are going in terms of your mental health, the health of the business, etc.
5) You have to be able to talk with your DH about these issues. If he is unwilling to have regular sit down talks where you both really hear each other, then try it with a relationship therapist or coach for awhile (well worth the money if you find a good one).
6) Remember, not every couple is cut out to run a business together. Personally I think it is even harder than keeping a marriage healthy. Make sure your marriage comes first or you won't have the business OR the marriage!

Good luck and hugs!

I have a friend who owns a construction business with her husband. She does the books and stuff like you do, he builds. They have always had a babysitter so that my friend could work uninterrupted for 3-4 hours each day. It helped their business grow. They have 6 children now, she has been doing this since the 2nd was born.
My husband and I own a catering company. I can do the "back room" work while the kids are around (the books, the endless lists, the reservations), but never could have pulled it off when they were that young. My mother takes them the days we work at the restaurant. My husband works two other jobs to help pay the bills. This food thing we do is our "dream" but I wouldn't sacrifice our financial stability for it, we just found a way to fit it in to our life.
Just two examples to help you see that either you guys need to hire someone to help your husband, or you need someone to help you around the house. You might also consider paring back on his business and you go out and work part or full time. He sees that offer as you saying he's a failure, even though that's not what you are saying. But he apparently can't see how hard this is for you. It's time for a change. You need to work together to figure out what that is.

Go out without the kids. Don't spend any money, go to a park or something, bring a notebook and a pen. See if the two of you can hammer out a better plan, because this one is not working for you. JessicaWessica has some great ideas on how to help you do that.

So sorry. You need child care, pure and simple. There's no getting around it.

I would have hired help with the children rather than having hired another person for the business, to be honest.

I think this is something you have to make a decision on - childcare help, or help with the business.

Dawn