Overprotective?

That's the problem with taking little one's to parties: you spend the whole time worrying/watching them.

You aren't being overprotective, AT ALL.

Everything said already.
Yes, going to parties/playdates is exhausting with little children.
But I would watch them like a hawk as well.You just never know what they are up to.
Later on, when they get older, you can let lose a little.
Maybe even enjoy a little relaxing time at a party.
My kids are 5,14 and almost 16.
I'm glad they are parents like you.

No, you aren't. I would expect parents of kids that young to be watching them in that situation if I was the party host. It's just not that much fun to go to a party of that type with a high-energy kid, in my experience. In a couple of years, it will be much better!

No, you aren't being over protective. The kid is 3, not 6. Kudos to you and your husband for keeping an eye or two on him! Nothing irks me more than parents who let their younger kids run amok.

Going to parties or events are going to be like this until he's older. Get a reliable sitter for some of these so you can at least relax and have a good time.

I would say that a three-year-old (especially one who has allergy problems) should be watched at all times at a party that is inside/outside. If it were just inside, I might relax a bit, but not if he could get lost in the dark. I don't think that's overprotective at all. I think you need to be constantly watching him. And you're right, it makes things not fun for the adults who must always be watching. I guess taking turns is about the only answer, other than leaving him at home with a sitter.

I think NOT being a "helicoptor parent" only applies to parents of children OLDER than toddlers. I also have a toddler, and it is completely impossible to trust her to run safely through a party unattended as though she knows at 20 months what she should and shouldn't do. I'm also blown away at the laziness of some parents to just assume other adults or kids are watching their child(ren). It's irresponsible and presumptuous.

Thanks for asking the question. I had questioned myself too whether or not I was being overprotective in those same party scenarios, but after talking to some of my friends about it we agree that it's in the toddlers best interest that you keep a close eye on them. There will be plenty of years to come that my husband and I will be able to sit back and enjoy ourselves while the children play. But for right now, that's not the case. So we put our running shoes on, laugh at how spastic we look, and know that the parents of the teenagers at the party are thankful they're not the ones running around after toddlers anymore AND yet terribly sad because they miss those years too.

Maybe you'd enjoy the social gatherings more if you got a sitter? (Although I totally get that this might have been a childrens' party and it would be inappropriate to exclude your son.) That's what we do when we are invited to a gathering where his attendance isn't necessary.

Otherwise, we decide how important the event is to our family and the host family. If it is one of those where we want/have to go then my husband and I take turns watching our kid like a hawk. It's exhausting but I know it won't be like this forever. If it is an event where our son won't have fun nor is his presence required, we leave him at home with a sitter so we can go enjoy ourselves and our friends.

Yes, I've always hated "hovering" over my kids at social gatherings. I try to trade off with my husband so that I can at least eat and have one or two normal conversations, but I consider myself lucky if that happens. And it sounds like you are very conscientious about watching your own kids, too, which is good. We actually have some good friends who I cannot stand to be around anymore now that they have kids because they do not watch their kids. You know the type - they just assume when there are lots of adults around somebody has their eye on them. At previous gatherings, I have fed their son, who was wandering around saying he was hungry while they ate and chatted, and helped their son in the bathroom after he had fallen on the floor trying to turn the light on with his pants around his ankles and poop everywhere. Both times his parents (my friends) were totally unalarmed. Literally, their lax parenting style has affected our relationship!

You do not sound overprotective at all! You sound like parents of a 3 yr old. And please don't rely on others watching him; he is yours. If you don't want to watch him at social situations, leave him home with a sitter. I have found when my kids get sleepy the become MORE active not less and it is more stressful in situations like these. Or, host your own parties at your house and put him to bed, or know that the house is childproof and peanutless and let him run. And no, this is not going to last forever.

About all I can say is, welcome to the joys of being a parent of an energetic toddler!
Of course you have to keep an eye of your kid at all times. That's just part of the deal. Especially at something outdoors that's not enclosed within a fenced in back yard. So in other words, if there's access to the world, then you can't just leave your kid to run and play. It is exhausting. It is also frustrating. And at times not very enjoyable. The alternative... stay home. Or say yes to things where there are fewer people in a space that is safe (so in a yard or indoors). As your son gets a bit older, you won't have to worry so much.
As for the allergy.. I think you have to really educate your son about what he can and cannot have. In another year, things will be easier ; )

We feel the same way -- and going up my in-laws lake house for a weekend with my husband's 4 siblings and their combined 13 kids is enough to make me pull my hair out! My daughter also has a peanut allergy and she is 26 mos old. She also has 3 other food allergies. After one very LONG Memorial Day weekend, my mother in law asked everyone to NOT serve peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to their kids and have nothing containing nuts nor a peanut warning. Now, we still watch everything we feed her but we feel a bit more at ease. We still watch her pretty much every minute she is playing but now we feel she doesn't necessarily have to be sitting by us. If it is family, you can always ask if they will make an accomodation -- if not, then you just either have to be very vigilant (we are also armed with Epi-pens and Benadryl in case) or not take the kiddo.

The running around is just a normal 3 year old ball of energy -- our daughter is similar. We try to set boundaries and are willing to do 3 counts and then timeouts -- even at a party. Do be good about watching to make sure your kid doesn't break things and/or hurt himself...I do know how exhausting it can be. We have a 26 mo old daughter and 11 mo old son (who is VERY mobile- walking and yanking stuff down EVERYWHERE). We want 3 more -- so I am going to be on high alert for like the next decade+. :) HA! Good luck!

You are not being overprotective at all. You must watch your child because of the peanut allergy and his age too. What would happen if you weren't there to see him have a reaction from inducing peanut? I hate to think about it. My son has a severe peanut allergy and his twin sister does not. My husband and I have been chasing them both around just like you. They are 3 1/2 now. When they were really little we would go to a family member's birthday party and never go to the bathroom or eat a thing. Loads of fun. Then they would ask why we were leaving so soon. After 3 hours we were done.Now we are able to keep them occupied a little bit easier. We still eat before we go because of the allergy . And I bring cupcakes or rice crispy treats so we can all eat something peanut free when everyone else is eating cake from a bakery. Hang in there :)

My daughter is 6 yrs old and STILL a ball of energy! I know better than to leave her alone during social gatherings (Well, at her age now, I "check in" with her about every 1/2 hour). The few times I have left her alone to play with the other kids when she was MUCH younger, she broke numerous items in the household, she fell and wounded the back of her head, she got into it with one of her cousins, etc.... I wouldn't count on someone else watching your kid...other parents think the same way. "Why should I watch someone else's kid when that kid's parent is around?"

How you describe it that party was not set up for children to attend. And therefore you did what was needed and appropriate. I am sorry that the hosts didn't either tell you to get a babysitter or arrange the party to be more conducive to the age child you had.

Yep that is the way it is. My son is 5 and my daughter is 2 and I still watch them both at parties and other places as well. I am always the M. standing up following them around the jungle gym while the other moms sit and talk. My daughter has the peanut allergy too and my son is very very low on the autism spectrum. I don't relax unless I know there are other responsible people that know and love my kids watching them as closely as I would. My step-niece had a birthday party outside and there were a lot of kids under five. But every parent there was watching out for everyone's kids so it made it a lot easier to have a good time. So I don't think you are being over protective. Many parents in this day and age just don't watch their kids. I was at McDonald's playland today and a M. let her 2 kids in the playland and walked out to talk on the phone in the other section of the restaurant. There was a group of special needs kids on a field trip and one of the unsupervised boys was extremely rude to the special needs children and made a nasty comment to one of the chaperones. It was very upsetting to me to see such careless parental behavior. I tried letting my son play with some kids in the neighborhood that were a few years older and whose parent I had met. Needless to say letting my 5 year old out to play without an adult didn't work out so well. You just don't know what other people do with their kids. I don't blame you for being worried and tired and wanting what is best for your child. We usually try to take turns watching each kid. My son is easier to watch and my daughter much harder but we try to fit each person to the child's needs and our own capabilities and still have a good time. That said we don't go out often because sometimes it is just too much work. Good luck! And Bravo to you and all the other parents that actually watch their children!!! We are in charge of the future of this world. Should we let the future run wild and uncared for or keep a close eye on them?

I know exactly what you're talking about. Every party, every Thanksgiving or Christmas or any celebration at someone else's house, you have to constantly keep an eye on your kids at this age and you don't have quite as much fun. I think you're on the right route and I wouldn't call it overprotective at all. My kids are my responsibility and I feel like I'm the one who needs to make sure they're staying out of trouble when we're at someone else's house. This stage won't last forever and the older they get, the more self-sufficient they are and the more you can relax. For now, though, I think you have to bite the bullet and make the most of an outing that you can. It's too bad when some parents don't pay attention to their kids and they let them run amok. It's also not fair for you to stay home nor does it provide your kids an opportunity to learn how to behave when you're guests somewhere. I try to share the load with my husband by taking turns watching our kids so each of us has a chance to visit and socialize. That might help!

My humble opinion is he is three. He has an allergy that has been proven deadly even by a secondary person (a guy ate a PBJ and six hours later he kissed his girlfriend and she still had a reaction). He is not old enough to make decisions at all, you should watch him. If I ever saw someone's three year old playing next to the street and the parents on the porch not doing anything I'd have a serious problem! You are not being overprotective. I would say anyone in your situation who wasn't taking precautions was neglectful. Furthermore at someone else's house I'd expect people to keep an eye on their children! There's just too many unknowns.
Don't listen to people who look down on you for loving and protecting your son.
Plus it will get easier. The older he gets the more he will understand and eventually he can be responsible for his own actions, and he'll love you all the more for protecting him.

I'm so glad you posted this as I have wondered the same thing. My son is nearly three and literally from the time he could walk he's been on the go. Doesn't stay interested in something for a long time - just as you described. My husband and I see things a little different - when we're at gatherings he'll roll his eyes at me when I say, "where's Logan?" and he'll say, "ugh, outside w/my dad, or my cousins or whatever" and then I look and yes, he's with adults, on the porch smoking! I also feel that it should be asked - 'we are in here - do you mind Logan being outside w/you, if you get tired or don't want to play anymore let us know." I don't think it's anyone else's responsibility to care for our child. Especially at family functions I realize no one would let anything happen, but I also realize this is our child, our responsibility, if someone wanted the responsibility they'd probably have their own child here!!!!! So, I agree with you, and as it appears from the other responses, you have a lot of support!

If you want to enjoy the party and actually talk with the other adults, just get a sitter.

You're just in a stage where your child is learning how to behave (safely) and what's appropriate and it's going to take a lot of your energy teaching him and setting expectations. Obviously you can't let him rummage through other people's things or run in the street. That's not being over protective, that's just being a parent.

The peanut thing is hard. It just is. Even when they know what they can have and what they can't have , mistakes happen and you'll still be on your guard at social settings. When they go off to college you'll be asking with white knuckles..."Do you have your epi pen?!?!?!"

You are not too protective, but you should start teaching him boundaries. He is old enough to follow some rules. No upstairs, no front yard, no closed doors, etc.

If you reduce the areas he plays, it's easier to watch him. Also, he is not a baby and should be able to understand that you don't touch other peoples things without permission. (My son has a 6 year old friend that comes over and rifles through everything in our house - Rude!)

you are not alone! my husband and I say the same thing about our 2 1/2 year old. He is only allergic to eggs - you have it so much worse due to his peanut allergy. maybe you can bring an extra set of eyes with you sometime? my husbands boss has get togethers and has a babysitter for the kids (in the basement) so the adults can enjoy themselves upstairs. we keep telling ourselves that it will get easier once he is older and remembers right from wrong etc. sounds like you two are wonderful parents!

You are not being overprotective, you are parenting. I totally get it though. My daughter is 4 and my son is 1 and parties aren't a lot of fun for us right now. My husband and I usually switch off watching one of the kids. Although, at 4, my daughter is getting better and I can trust her more to not be a menace, but she still needs a watchful eye! I just keep holding on to the thought of two older kids and getting to actually eat myself and having an adult conversation at a party. It will get here one day!

Dear E. Well, he is a challenge, the balls of energy always are. I watched a boy with a peanut allergy at age 3 and by that time he was already so indoctrinated, trained about his allergy that he was capable of watching out for himself. One of the first things he told me was about his allergy and as time went on he knew the side of the box had to be checked for whether things were made in a factory that also handled nut. So, keep telling him about his allergy and teaching him. Does he remember the incident when the allergy was discovered? M. and child used to tell me about that and its real danger was the moral of the story. He will get more responsible in a year or two. In the meantime, I would limit the parties that you all go to, why put yourselves through that. A birthday party he is invited to should be an exception to this, as he will feel very bad when he finds out from the other kids about the party, and he will find out. Just tell the M. about his allergy and your concerns and ask if you can stay and maybe help her out with games, etc.

Sounds like the little guy's saftey was your main concren..I do not call that being overprotective. . My parents had 6 of us kids. ( I'm old now) M.'s trick was to hire a babysitter that could also attend the function - or - stay home with us for the Larger gatherings.
As I grew.. I .. and then some of my older cousins were the babysitters.. But in the begining.. there was a young girl that lived next door to us that would tag along and babysit so they could enjoy the party and still have the peace to keep an eye from a distance and know we were all ok.
I know it's not done much and more.. but it might be worth resurrecting in the name of keeping friends and not being left off the guest lists..
Good luck.

Hi M. E,

My son is 5 years old and we had kind of the same problem with him. He was very active, high-energy and impulsive around 2-3 years old. He has gotten alot better, but we still watch him closely because he is quick. Give it time, he will get better!

All the Best,
D.

Just the way it is...it will get better when he is older :)

I know you have lots of posts confirming this, but you are absolutely not being overprotective!!!

I personally never understood the parents who let their children run around that young without supervising more. They are still quite little. My husband and I often find ourselves playing/looking after many 2-4 yr olds at a time as their parents are not always present. I don't get it. Or worse, the ones who micro-manage and then disappear.

I personally do not find you being overprotective. My daughter is the same way and age (w/o the allergies) and we are constantly having to watch her. I don't believe it has stopped her fun, but yes it is EXHAUSTING. Hubby and I try to take turns watching her, but I usually end up with most of it and am exhausted at the end without much enjoyment. So, I can really relate. I believe that the owners of the house would be happy that you were watching your curious little boy instead of him getting into and possibly breaking something. I've found that if there are other parents around sometimes we can take turns watching a group of our kids as they are all friends...but I end up with most of the watching since most of their kids don't have to be watched so much. I believe that in time it will get better.

Check out PSK yahoo group (Parents of Spirited Kids) and Mary Sheedy Kurcinka's book Raising Your Spirited Child. If your little boy is indeed one, it feels good to not be alone.

Take care,
H.

I do not think you were being overprotective at all. I consider myself rather liberal with my 2 1/2 year old, and I think I would have done the exact things that you did at this party! My son is a lot like yours in temperament, and it is exhausting to keep up with him, especially at social functions that take place in the evening. I must admit that I have curtailed my social activities while he is this age, though I know that this is not the answer for everyone! It is not always possible, but when I really need an evening out with my husband, I try to find a sitter, even if it is only for 2 to 3 hours.

It does not sound as if the gathering were set up with young children in mind. Given that your child was playing on or near the street and his allergies, I think you did just the right thing. So don't fret about it! As your son becomes older, and he becomes more aware of the danger issues that you are concerned with, he will be easier to take out. I recently met a M. with a 6 year old who has gluten allergies--already at the age of 6, he knows what he can and cannot eat. And well, maybe the street will always hold an allure for kids if my experiences hold true (hope not though)--I just make sure that either I or another trusted adult has his eye on him!

At 3 you just have to run around & chase after them. It will get better as he gets older. I would tell anyone hosting a party about your son's peanut allergy & to have them inform their guests about it to so that they don't bring anything with peanuts. IT is NOT rude to do so. Most parents are used to this request since there are so many kids with nut allergies. Most schools are now peanut free zones. This will at least alleviate some of your stress.

I don't think you are overprtective at all. You and your husband are at the stage where you need to keep an eye on him, especially at three. I have two boys, and when they were 2 and 3 years old my husband and I were always chasing them around too. Your child is at the stage that he needs to be kept an eye on. It does get better when they are older. This summer we were at a wedding, which is behind a boat dock near Lake Michigan. My children are now 9 and 7 and I still needed to keep an eye on them when they went outside in case someone fell in. If you are at a friends house, you can get a babysitter like grandma and grandpa sometimes so you and your husband can enjoy the party once in a while. But everyone goes through that stage. I have a better time now at relatives parties now then I used to.

Don't worry. We're the same way. My husband and I take turns watching out 3 year old at parties/gatherings. It's only a few years before he'll be able to need less supervision.

I feel like you do all the time, and we don't have any allergy to worry about. I have a 4 1/2 year old and an almost 2 year old. Our youngest is the same as yours, curious and always on the go. I think it's better to be safe than sorry. We watch him closely not only for his safety, but because I worry he will break or ruin something at the other person's house. I am pretty strict as far as manners go, especially at other people's houses. We don't have to worry about our oldest as much any more, but we still keep an eye on her. I have had other people to my home who don't have the same philosophy as I do as far as manners and it's a nightmare. I have had kids jumping on the couch with shoes on, messing with stuff that's obviously not for kids (picture frames, going into cabinets) and the parents were oblivious, sometimes not even in the same room. I would be completely embarrassed if my kids did that at other people's houses.
I would rather be the over protective M. than the M. who's kids break stuff and don't know how to behave.
I understand that social events may be more work than fun, but I think the work will pay off as far as how your kids learn to behave and eventually you won't have to watch as carefully because they will have learned how to act at other people's homes.
Keep up the good work, it will get easier!

YOu did the right thing. My husband and I always watch our daughters closely when we are at large parties (more so our 3year old). Nothing bothers me more than little kids running around touching things, going near streets etc.. and their parents are no where to be seen. There are plenty of parents out there that just let their kids go and leave it to everyone else to watch them! Bugs me to no end. Your son is only 3, you should be watching him. You know he gets in to things, so you are doing the right thing. You only need to worry another year or so and you will be able to let him go without your constant watching. All I can say is good for you for being a responsible parent! Wish there were more moms and dads like you in our group!

I haven't read the other responces but it doesn't sound to me that you were being overprotective--it sounded like you were being a good parent. At this age you are supposed to be watching them. It will get easier. I have a 10, 9, and 3 year old (2 with peanut allergies). I don't have to monitor my 2 older ones so much but my 3 year old I watch constantly. Also train you child to ask "is there nuts in this?' It will help keep him safe in all kinds of situations--including when you forget to read a label.

I think it makes you both responsible parents, it is exhausting, but you are being respectful of other's when at their home and watching for the safety of your child :)

I think that you do need to keep a really close eye on three year olds , to keep them safe and prevent damage to your guests property. Nobody wants kids running around unsupervised in their house, we've had that problem
with relatives. That being said, there does come a point when parents need to set limits and tell the child" you may not leave this specific area. " M. and dad should not have to follow him around like puppies. If he can't be trusted to be out of your sight, then he needs to have his movements restricted , not the other way around. Gradually, you can give him more freedom if he earns it by being good. I think at three he can begin to understand this concept. Good luck!

I find it exhausting going to parties now - I don't think you're being overprotective at all - your son is only 3! If it were a family party with others you trusted it maybe easier to let him run around b/c you knew you had others there as well, outside of you and your husband, but when it's just the two of you, it's tough. I have relatives (on the inlaw side) that come over and let their kids run around and they could careless - I find that so obnoxious. You need to keep an eye on your kid - I think the best thing to do is keep doing what you're doing...when you want to have a more relaxing time, find a sitter or relative to come over and watch your son...it's a tough balance sometimes but I think you're acting as any responsible parent would!

Hi M. E,
Watch your son. He is only three. You would never forgive yourself if something happened, especially knowing you had gone against your own intuition in favor of what you thought was "apropos" in the eyes of others. Who cares what other people think. Would these "other people" share the loss or bear the burden of a tragedy throughout your lifetime if something happened? No, it would be solely you. Things can happen in an instant. Always follow your own intuition. I think you absolutely did the right thing.
C.

At 3, your son is just beyond the toddler stage and they really do need to be watched all the time because the idea of boundaries is foreign to them. And yes, it is exhausting because you feel like all your time and energy is consumed by keeping him "safe." As he gets older and is learning how to behave in social situations, things will get less stressful for you, but for now....at 3....this is very normal. No one should expect a 3 year old to sit still for any period of time. Get some good running shoes. :-)

I do not think it is being over-protective at all to watch a 3-yr-old every second at someone else's home, esp. outside near a street daylight or not. Expecting that others will watch him for you would be a mistake.

Your son and you would likely have a much better time if you had a good, reliable sitter.

I agree with everyone. Thats just how it is at this age. Parties are exhausting unless you go to a child proofed house and that is rare. So until your child is older, its a lot of work going anywhere!

You are doing the right thing. It will probably get easier as he gets older, but you'll still have to be more alert than a lot of parents. I don't always think people are watching their children enough, and my kids are 10 and 6. You may sometimes decide that it's not worth it to attend certain events, or that you should stay a shorter time. Good luck, and keep up the good work.

From all of the responses, it seems like you (we) aren't alone. My husband and I are always exhausted after any outing with our 2.5 yr old twins. At this age, you have to watch them constantly. And we don't get a break to switch off since there are 2 of them ; ) Good luck and understand that they will be teenagers before you know it!

I think you're doing a great job! So many times parents feel that since they are at a party it's free time for them. That's when you really need to watch your curious, energetic child and not leave it up to someone else. It won't last forever but you may want to think about finding a babysitter for certain parties. That way you can enjoy some of them too!

It sounds like you are overdoing it a little. I know that having a child with allergies can be extra stressful, but you can't hover over him all the time. It sounds like there were other kids present- were they also running in the yard, throughout the house, etc? Were they the same age as your son? What were the other parents doing? Did the people who owned the house care if kids were running in all the rooms, or were there some off limits areas?

I would say keep a close eye on food of course, especially if you know there were nut items there. But you can watch the buffet without following your son everywhere. Same goes for him playing outside- if he might run into the street, of course an adult needs to be supervising, but was the yard fenced in? Was he staying with the other kids? Were there other parents watching, but you just didn't trust them to take a turn and felt you had to watch your son yourself?

I am not trying to criticize, but it just sounds as if you are setting yourself up for a lot more stress than you need. Of course you want to look out for your son, but kids need to be kids too and run around and play. It sounds like this could put a huge strain on you and your husband. Try and find a happy medium between being a 'helicopter parent' and constantly hovering and totally ignoring everything your kid is doing.

For example, allow your son to run free in a fenced in yard where he can't get to the street. Indoors, tell him very clearly that the bedrooms are off-limits and no one is allowed in there and to stay and play with the other kids or stay with you. If another parent is watching the group of kids playing, allow them to take a turn! Just use common sense and try not to over react.

I think you are doing what every parent should be doing who has a toddler. I did it with my guy and have had the unfortunate job of doing it for other peoples kids at gatherings where they did not watch out for their children. As a parent it is your responsibilty to protect you child from unseen and unknown dangers to them. You are doing the right thing and they know they are loved by your actions.

S.

I don't feel you are being too overprotective. You have to do what you feel comfortable with. At age 3, I would not want my child out in the dark running near the street, so I think your concern is valid. Especially when they are around other kiddos and are excited in a party situation. You never know what could happen.

We recently moved to a new neighborhood and I sometimes feel like I'm overprotective. We have a handful of neighbors with children of various ages, including about three children who are around my son's age - 4. One boy is actually two weeks younger than my son, but has little parental supervision and is outside all the time--up and down and across the street-- w/o his parents knowing for sure where he is. This makes me nervous b/c we have a pond nearby that they are often by without supervision. One parent said it's only a foot deep if they fall in, but to me, it makes me nervous and I'm always by my son when he's by the pond. One of the children also misbehaves a lot and is destructive to property. I feel this is because he has nobody around to correct his behavior. My son is no angel, and I try to step back to let him resolve differences with playmates, but if he is misbehaving I'm there to discipline him. I see these kids dart across the street back and forth to visit each other's houses. Their parents think they have taught them to look both ways, but I see many of them all the time not even look. Two weeks ago, a first grader came extremely close to getting hit by a car because she just flew down her driveway on her bike and crossed the street. As soon as she got in the street, a car had to slam on his breaks. Her parents didn't even see it b/c they weren't around. It did not even faze her that she was almost hit and I've seen her cross w/o looking since then. My son has allergies so I'm probably more overprotective than normal but I want him to be safe. I'm not okay with him being outside by himself. I let him in the backyard when I'm washing dishes and can see him but he knows not to go around front w/o permission or he has to come in. I think you are doing the right thing. Everyone has their own parenting style.Yes it can be exhausting, but well worth their safety.

Hi M. E,

I don't think watching your 3 year old child at social gatherings is being overprotective. I think that is responsible parenting, especially when you know your child will roam, and get into things he shouldn't. I hated when my children were toddlers and I would have parties for them and parents would not keep an eye on their children. My children are now 17, 11, and 10. When we go to social gatherings I still keep an eye out for my children, though now that they are older it's for different reasons. I am making sure they eat something, are not being mistreated, minding their manners, etc... I think once you have children, no matter what age they are, you are always in "parent mode" when they are around.

Hi M. No you are not being over protective!!! In this day and age there are so many weirdo and freaks out there who would harm a child. In fact, it starting to happen more often. Maybe you can find a sitter for him when you go out or take one with you. I know how it is to go to an event with small children. You can't enjoy yourself. And also see at the next event if the family has a teenager who could help keep and eye on him.

I know it's hard now, but it's worth it to be protective. You're not OVERprotective by any means. Given his allergies and his tendency to just wander (run) off, I would be the same exact way.
I'm very protective of my children and always have my eyes on them, no matter where we are. I realize the risk of danger is small, but the risk is there, and letting them run off for a few minutes just so I can chat with another M. is not worth it.
I'd rather deal with the hassle of chasing my kids around than deal with a lifetime of regret for not being there.

As your son gets older, he will become more aware. You won't have to be this protective when he's eight. You'll find that you know when he's ready for a little more freedom. Trust your instinct on that one.
But he's only three now, so don't trust his judgment yet.

I also have a very active, now 4 year old. It does get better. As they get older, start to learn more and start to understand consequences of choices, you will find yourself relaxing more when going out. Just hang in there! They're a lot of fun because they are so active but it is exhausting for awhile.

It is important to keep a good eye on an active child and yes it is exhausting. the good news is that this too will pass but perhaps not for another year or two. I and most of my close friends often chat about how we find parties somewhat exhausting with our little ones. All the kids are learning how to interact and that is often not so smooth. Personally, I hate it when a parent decides to let everyone else look after their child at a party because they are chilling. So good for you for doing your part. Good luck.

I totally feel your stress. My husband and I are always saying that we don't get to socialize at parties. But I do feel you are doing the right thing. I have many friends and acquaintances that ignore their children at parties and I can't stand it!!! Their kids are rude, disrespectful, they destroy things, etc.... Your kids are your responsibility, not someone elses, and no one else should have to discipline your kids :)
Again, you are being a GREAT PARENT :)

Absolutely not, you are not overprotective - this is the age when they are the most curious and have the most energy and the least amount of common sense. And it only takes a split second for any kid who is mobile to get into something, and you should never assume someone else is watching them. It's good that you take turns watching him so one doesn't get worn out. Yeah, I know it's not too fun right now to take him places because you don't get to relax. But he will grow out of it; he won't be like this forever. Pretty much all kids (especially boys) are like this at this age. Hang in there!

What's the alternative? You let your son get hit by a car, choke on his own tongue from eating a peanut, or hurt himself another way & have to live with the consequences of your inaction?! You did right. DH's cousins have tons of kids, and when they get to someone's house it's like "I have kids?!" no one watches anyone and they get into everything. People stop inviting people when they don't monitor their kids anyway! I have a really rowdy toddler and we have reached a point where we take turns, like you and your dh, and we pick and choose which things to attend with the kids. Sometimes we talk to our daughter about the event ahead of time & see if she wants to go & help with our boy, too. She's 10 and loves him but not being in charge all the time (like us! lol). Fortunately she also loves our babysitters, so sometimes we just go that route. My guy is nearly 2 but I don't want him caged at home all the time either, just have to pick our battles.

Good luck, and on behalf of the host/hostess I thank you for watching your little one!
D.