Overwhelmed - Ridgewood,NY

work is not a break.

Unfortunately - motherhood is not all it's cracked up to be and now you have to put your son first - that doesn't mean you don't deserve "ME" time - you do...

hire a sitter. get out and do something for yourself - be it a manicure or a pedicure...

Find a mommy group with your church and see if there are any other young mom's out there that can help you and maybe you guys can start sharing babysitting...

I'm sorry you got pregnant so young...I applaud you for handling it and taking on the responsibility....it's NOT easy.....I'm sorry you don't have family or friends...I would also suggest going to your local library on the weekends - even Barnes and Noble and Books-A-Million have groups that get together...you'll be able to find like-minded people and get the respite you need and deserve.

You ARE scremaing for help - so here is an idea. Get a sitter, or ask if his school has an evening or weekend program once a month. PLAN an outing for yourself - even going to dinner and movie all by yourself, and have it on the calendar every month.
This will give you a break, and on the hard days that you don't get a break you can look at the calendar and know that one is coming. Ask a co-worker if they want to go with you, you may make some friends. You could start attending church, there will likely be free childcare, and you may meet other moms who would love to go out with you.
Even if you start getting out of the house with other moms WITH your kids, it still feels like a break because the kids will entertain each other while you have a chance to chat.
Just put yourself out there, believe me, other moms are dying for a break too!

Kathleen's got some great suggestions. Also look for a Mommy and Me or other parent support group in your area. You can probably locate some with a quick google search. And advertise for babysitting trades with other moms. You get a playmate for your son for a couple of hours one week, with a little variety for you, and get a couple of hours for yourself the next week.

Reality is really hard sometimes. It can seem endlessly demanding, even for moms who were fully adult when they married and started having children. Part of what you can do is just accept that you have chosen the life you now have, and your son is growing at a tremendous speed, and you WILL look back someday at these early years and be amazed that they passed so quickly. And you'll be proud of yourself for sticking with it and being a responsible mom.

There's also a chance that you are genuinely suffering from clinical depression, Tiffany. It would be a good idea to talk this over with your doctor. Moms who are depressed tend to pass problems on to their kids, which will simply make life harder for both of you.

Okay it's normal to become overwhelmed at times.
It sounds like you need to try and "build in" a little bit of a break for yourself.
However small:
-rent a movie for yourself and watch when he goes to bed or take a nap once in awhile. Not every night because you need your sleep too!
-check out a book you've wanted to read from the library
-find a gym w/a kids club so they can watch your kids while you do a short workout. this is good because you are RIGHT THERE near your child! Very important. I don't like the babysitting places where you drop off your child and leave. Scary.
-Look into mommy groups so your have an outlet and so does your child. Moms for you to talk to and kids for your child to play with. You can look them up online or check out your local park for moms w/their kids.
-Do small things to make your happy and lift your spirits:
buy yourself some cheap flowers at the grocery store
-treat yourself to your favorite magazine subscription
-be open to making friends at work that maybe you can socialize with eventually or start a book/cooking club at your house. You rotate homes so it's cheaper and moms can bring their kids. That way you can watch your kiddo and make sure he's safe. I don't really like the idea of "finding" a babysitter you don't know.
-It's not about waiting for yourself to "breakdown". You are doing the hardest job in the world and all on your own. Give yourself a huge pat on the back. Things will improve and look up as time goes on (and soon too). He will soon be going to school. It all gets easier as he gets a little older.
-try to make new friends at work and at the park like I said, especially other moms.
-See if your health insurance offers psychologists you can make an appointment with and take your son w/you if you have to.
-Try to make your lunch hour from work your "down" time or fun time:
having lunch w/co-workers
go to the mall/Target to buy yourself some cute inexpensive item of clothing
reading quietly in the park
run errands
do fun things WITH your son: kid movies to watch together(rent the one you want to watch for when he's in bed), the library for reading time, the mall, out to lunch, out to an early dinner (just don't do things late or close to his bedtime, take him to an arcade or mini golf, go to a community pool or nearby lake or park.

You sound like you are blaming the baby for messing up your life when you made a decision at 16 to become a M.. You cannot reverse being a mother now, the stuff you explain are the realities of motherhood, stressful as they are. I just don't want you to continue to have the mindset that you are "tired" of being a M..

However, I do understand you need a break every now and then. Arrange/pay to have your school/daycare hold him for extended stay one evening per week if you can afford to and go to the movies before you pick him up. Find M. groups where you can build other friendships. Take a day off work or a couple hours and do nothing but rest.

Hope that helps.

Oh sweetie, you started your mommy hood early. Kuddos to you for hanging in there. Really, it is a tough job, but really rewarding when you see your children grow knowing that you have a part in molding them into the person they will be and seeing a part of you in them. :-D Parenthood is quite challenging indeed and we all deserve to have our 'me time'. I wish you lived here where I do. I would definitely offer to babysit for you so you can go out and have some fun. My husband and I are pretty much by ourselves here as well. I'm 40, yet I still feel overwhelmed. I have a 6yr old and a 2 yr old boys. I feel like my ears are ringing all the time from the left over noise that never seems to stop. LOL Do you have a neighbor that you trust to babysit? His school may have some suggestions for you with where to look for babysitters, or even something to help you rejuvenate. It kind of does get monotenous (sp?)...the same routine over and over again. Children to thrive on routine though. It's tough on us, but it really helps the children. Some Gyms offer a play area/babysitting while you exercise. There are also some baby gyms too that will be fun for your little guy.
Don't feel guilty for thinking you are tired of being a mom. I think we all have had those thoughts every now and then. :-)
See if there are any play groups in your area, or if anyone wants to do playdates. That's a good way to make some friends and have a little bit of a break while the kids play together. I've made a few friends off of here, but it seems like people are too busy to let someone new in and make time for. I find myself going bonkers sometimes because these walls are closing in. 7 years with no family or friends to hang out with. They're all out of state. The more you embrace having fun with your son, may help you relieve some of that pressure/stress. It has for me. Exercise will definitely help you to release a lot of that stress. It will get better. Hang in there. You always have us Moms on here to vent to when you need to. :-D

How hard to have a child so young...without any support. I really feel for you. But you know, it does not really matter your age/situation. I am 39 and I feel this way at times too. You just need a break at times. Can you use a church's mommy's day out program once a week? You can use this time to do something for yourself. Go for a walk, a swim, shop, meet a friend for a coffee. Or can you hire a sitter once a week? We have a teenage sitter that lives near us and she will watch both our kids for a very affordable price. Or if you know another parent you are friends with, can you take turns watching each other's kids every other week? Just a couple hours will give you a tiny break. You NEED to get some downtime on a regular basis - kids are so much work.

Being a mother is tough, and age doesn't necessarily make any of what you described easier or harder.....I applaud you for hanging in there and doing what you need to for your child. You do deserve a break and you do not have to feel guilty about that. Take some time for yourself VERY soon. Plan a day off from work if you can and take him to school so you can spend the day just doing whatever you want. If that isn't possible, find a friend, family member or sitter to watch him for a few hours while you go out and do something you enjoy. There may also be drop-in centers where you live that you could research and drop him off for an hour or two one evening while you shop, get a mani/pedi, go out to a nice restaurant, etc.....I think you feel like there is no way out or that it is "bad" if you want some time, but it isn't that way at all. We all need some ME time.....find a way to take some because it will make you a better mother and it will give you the break that you need. Blessings to you......Take care.

This is what being a parent is all about. Making the decission to become a parent is a life long committment. However, every mom, no matter what age, needs a small break every now and then. Find a baby sitter or a friend who will watch him for a few hours, and do something for yourself. You should do this at least once a month.

motherhood is all about sacrifice...esp when children are young...i work and have two young boys and it is really all about them even though i do have a husband and I am 28. I have no me time but i just deal with that for now because eventually they do get older. Even if you invite some friends over it does help...try going out on the weekends early with your son...and just enjoy life together with him...and then see if you can get someone to watch him in the evenings to get away for a little bit, even if it is for a walk or a drive

I have heard (and experienced) this story from every mother of a 3 year old whether they are 20 or 50 or anywhere in between. This has nothing to do with your age.

Find some friends with whom you can trade childcare and get some time to take care of yourself. If you can, make it regular. Mommies need breaks too.

Good luck!

I think that you and one of your friends could start a trade off mommy time thing. One weeknight she comes to your house to watch your little one another night of the week you go to her house to watch hers.