Parenting skills...am I Too Late

You can absolutely do it now!!! :)

You may just need so help.

I know 6 seems 'old'. But imagine 10 years from now looking back. Should you have waited until 16 or would you wish you'd done it at 6?

While there are a million books, and great parenting classes.. I'd really suggest a family counselor work with you 1:4

No it's not too late. Kid's crave routines and consistency. They test limits because they want to KNOW what the limits are.

I don't think you have necessarily missed the only window, but I do think that now is the time to create one.

I googled "parenting support classes Fremont California" just to see what the resources are in your area. You would need to do a little calling around, but there are classes and resources in your area.

My best suggestion would be to remember that ALL of you will need to start afresh. I suggest classes because what you are wanting to do is tough, and being supported by peer parents is important. Perhaps family counseling for behavioral issues would be helpful if your children are at the point where they are not feeding themselves. You will have to get 'back to basics' yourself and dig in for the long haul. Good for you for seeing that things need to change-- that's the sign of a caring parent. It isn't too late if you want more for your children than what's going on at home now. Just understand that it is going to be *hard* because you will be undoing a lot of bad habits.

Find support--for yourself, because it's so important, and your family, because they do need it-- and go forward!

It's never too late.... yes, more difficult, especially since there are 3....

I would pick ONE issue to start with, then move on from there..

Good luck!

I'm in the "never too late" camp.
Post rules, post consequences, enforce consistently.
It will be hard, for sure, but it's probably the only thing that will work.
Kids really DO want to have boundaries and KNOW what is and is not allowed or acceptable.
Good luck!

Consistency and choices and consequences will be your friend here.

It's never too late. You will have a long uphill battle to turn things around, but you can do it, and you NEED to do it. Can you imagine how awful things would be if you had three unruly teenagers who didn't listen to you? Twenty million times worse than three six year olds.

Pick a discipline strategy that you think could work for you. Read a few books to see what you might be able to be consistent with. I like 1-2-3-Magic, but other people swear by Love and Logic, or many other "systems". I think it's important to pick a strategy because then you have something to fall back on when you're tired and stressed and don't feel like being consistent. Because being consistent is the key. Your kids need to know that if they hit mom, x will happen. And x needs to happen every single time. If they throw a toy, y will happen. Every single time.

If you can afford it, look into a parenting coach in your area. Sometimes just a session or two of observing your family will be enough for the coach to help you figure out what to do different. But if you don't have the money now for that, read a discipline book and then talk to your kids about how things are going to change. Make sure they are well aware that mom is changing the way things work in the family.

Last but not least... unless health issues mean a child must eat certain foods at every meal, don't fight about eating. They will eat when they're hungry. It's your job to offer nutritious foods and it's their job to eat them. If you eliminate fighting about food, you'll have a lot more energy to be consistent about everything else.

My kids were five and seven, well the younger two, when my divorce was final. Add to that four years of college with my older two practically raising them.

When it was all over they were pretty rough around the edges, ya know? They are now 11 and 13 and doing fine. :) In my experience if you can get them under control by 10 you are fine, after that they are on auto pilot.

Well, you can start now (which absolutely will work) or you can do nothing and have three teenagers who hit and don't listen...

loveandlogic.com - contact them about facilitators in your area. They are great classes, and are usually reasonably priced, and sometimes free.

It is absolutely not too late! Perhaps you could take a little time to come up with 3 or 4 specific questions to post. I've gotten great ideas in the past.

You mentioned "they will not eat on their own sometimes." I'm guessing that means they want you to feed them? That would be exhausting! I think that would be exhausting if you only had 1 child.

My situation is a bit weird, because I haven't fed my kids since they were about 10 months old. They won't let me. If they could have said "I do it myself" when they were that young, believe me they would have!

I learned very early on to simply place a plate of food in front of them. If they wanted more, no problem. If they didn't want it, sometimes I would offer them something else (judgement call) and sometimes that would simply mean they weren't hungry.

Try not to worry about whether or not you think they are eating enough. At 6 years old, they will not let themselves starve, and they will learn very quickly that if they want to eat they will need to feed themselves.

Not sure if that is what your situation is, but I hope it helps.

Please know that you are not alone and that you CAN do this. Good luck!

Never too late. First pick a method you believe in, whether time-outs, or "Back to Basics Discipline" or something else. Do research and do what you feel is right because if you don't believe in the method, either will the kids, they won't take you seriously. Then, implement, reinforce, reinforce, reinforce. Give lots of love too. You will have one heck of a week (or so) but once they know Mom means business and is in charge they will catch on that it's easier to follow the rules then fight with Mom. At least that's how I see it. Good luck.

It's never to late... try talking to their docotors and see if their is any help out there. There are a lot out their, just sometimes you have to be refurred to the programs... I just started a Triple-P program (positive parenting program) to help me get through to my 7 yr old. I am hoping it works & even though I have only gone to 1 session - the social worker & book has helped me to see a few things I haven't been doing right and a few things I can try to fix it. But it will be a process & for my kids I am willing to try.

I wish you luck!

It's never too late!

I suggest 1 2 3 Magic as a starting point (uses the count 1-2-3 then a timeout for behavior that needs to stop). Also, the book or DVD How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk.

Call your local Jobs & Family Services department and ask if they know of any parenting classes. Having other parents you can talk to , and an instructor to support you, can be huge. If not JFS, try your local church or ask through the school counselor.

I don't think it's to late! Maybe write up a list of rules and tape it to the wall. Go over the rules with the girls and then you have to follow through everytime when they break one. This is what I am trying. Time outs don't do much here so I am trying the marble thing. They get marbles for good behaviors and if they break a rule they loose marbles. Marbles can be cashed in for special things (not necessarily toys).

Then I also read about trying a "special kid of the day". Each day one kid gets picked kid of the day. They get to have first choice on decisions - like what's for lunch, what show to watch on TV, what game to play etc.. Less arguing about these things.

Hope you find some things that work. I am terrible about being consistent and I let my kids get away with more than others would - I call it picking my battles ;)

It's never too late. Even old dogs can learn new tricks, it just takes more time. Same with your LOs. They can be "retrained" but it will take longer and be more exasperating for you. Look at Super Nanny, she comes in to households were children are the same age or older than yours and she can apparently "retrain" them and their parents in one week!

If I were you, I would write out some house rules that you want them to start following. Then sit them down and go over each rule, making sure that they understand them. And then implement them. You have to be consistent (which is exhausting, especially with three) and you cannot let even the smallest infraction slide by. If you do, you'll have to start all over at square one.

YOu might want to watch some of the Super Nanny episodes to get ideas of the different types of consequences and rewards and incentives she uses. Some are pretty good.

Good luck to you and yours. I know you can do it!

It is NEVER too late. Keep up the discipline! It might not seem like it but every little bit helps, not just you but your kids in the long run.
Try looking for parenting classes in your area to help you.

It' going to be tough and a lot of work but I think you can. You will need two things 1)professional help/advice/parenting strategies (please talk to your pediatrician, county social services and church for places to get this help) 2) your family being on board with the discipline (if they cannot follow the same discipline rules that you set forth, you will be undermined. These children need CONSISTANCY). Being consistant is the hardest thing, especially with three of them. You will feel like the meanest mom in the world sometimes, but remember you are not their friend you are their mother. It is your job to teach them proper respect, social skills, behavior - not to always give them everything they want just because it's easier. Think longterm. Always remember to tell them that you love them, even when you don't like the choice they made and need to discipline them. Remind them their behaviors are choices. Sometimes they will be good choices, sometimes they will not be. Never tell them you don't like them or don't love them - only that y ou don't like their choice of behavior and it is that choice that has decided whether they need discipline or not. Good luck to you!!!

No, you are not too late at all. Look at what Supernanny is able to accomplish in a week. Actually, watching that show might be a good idea.

You have to be calm, firm, and consistent with whatever you decide to do. As specific issues arise, you can get tips on this site.

Don't worry, it's far from too late.

Do all you can now. You must be consistent. Get Dr Sears' Discipline Book. A lot of the advice you can read online here:
http://askdrsears.com/topics/discipline-behavior

It's NEVER too late, but you HAVE to work on the consistency. They have to learn that actions result in consequences EVERY time, not just this time or 3 times later. Consistency is always key! Good luck; it's never easy!