Picking up Bad Habits!

She isnt picking up bad habits. She is just expressing to you that she is mad that you arent with her all day long like before. It will go away. The more that you try to explain to her the WHY's the more she is going to do it. Instead try to come home a play with her one on one for 5-10 mintues and tell her that you missed her all day. Ask her if she colored at school, etc.
Also if she is an only child then daycare can be difficult to adjust to b/c they have to share whereas at home she didnt. Hang in there try to spend quality time with her and try not to talk about the WHY's for you putting her into daycare. She is not really old enough to understand that anyway. Give it a couple more weeks. If it doesnt change then you may want to look into the daycare center and what they are doing their!

my daughter used to do the same exact thing and I think that what she really wants is some attention from you. she has had to cope with being without you more and I found with my daughter that it was very important to make sure that she got some one on one time with me when we were together weather it was reading to her taking her for a walk or just sitting with her watching a movie and eventually the behavior began to get better.

it sounds like the terrible twos when they realize "me". time out etc might help. good luck

I don't know that her behavior is due to anyone else's behavior, whether a bad example or a lack of discipline. It sounds to me like your little girl is feeling a bit insecure from being with Mommy all day long to suddenly only seeing you 2 hours most days. Try to form a connecting ritual when you get home and spend as much time as you can in positive interactions.

Also, maybe her nap routine is affected?

Has her behaviour at home been slowly coming on or all of a sudden? If it has been a slow change then I would say she is getting it from daycare. If it is all of a sudden, then you might want to talk to the caregiver in her room and see if she is having problems with other kids or what not. My daughter used to go to a day care that her Great Grandma and Great Aunt used to work at and for a daycare worker, it is just easier to give in to a child 9 out of 10 times than deal with them. Disipline is probably nill compared to what you do at home also since they normally only deal with time outs for the severe stuff like hitting and bitting.

I have a two year old that I stay at home with, but I think that I know what is going on. My husband works a lot, and there are some days she doesn't see him at all. The less she sees him, the worse she acts when he is here. All she wants is his attention. When she acts that way, he will take some time just for the two of them, and give her undivided attention. She will usually calm down and get back to normal pretty quickly. At her age that is the quickest way for her to get attention that she knows of. I know that when you get home from work you are tired, and there is still a million things to do, but if you can take some time as soon as you get home with her that is totally her time, that might help.

Hi S.! I'm sure it's frustrating, my son does it, too. Of course, there could be any number of reasons she's acting like this - other kids at school, etc.. However, I thought it might be helpful for you to know that my son, 14 months old, has been in daycare since he was 9 weeks old. I had to return to work almost immediatley. Although I dreaded going back, I am now so grateful for his school, his teachers and his interaction and socialization with others. That being said, he is most often fussy, whiny and crabby when I pick him up from school. He's almost always been this way. I found that it was common amongst other children and have been told things like 'they've been away from you all day and now when they get to be with you they cling to you all night' or 'they're exhausted from playing all day' (which is true a lot of the time). My son actually cried when we left school the other day. I was actually glad to know he liked it so much he wanted to stay and play with his friends! Maybe she really likes it! Anyway, I personally think that it's expected for your daughter to change her behavior and routines a little bit since she's gone to daycare. I know it's frustrating because you don't get to see her all day - then, when you do, she's fussy. I'm not sure there's anything you can do about it. However, I wouldn't think that it's a cause for concern unless she's like that at school, too. I would ask her teachers how she's adjusted to school. At first, it's going to be hard...but if she eventually stays happy, eats, sleeps and plays well at school, then at least you know there's nothing wrong per say. Hopefully, like my son, she'll see that time at home can be fun, too, and that you're not going anywhere. I only have one child, too, and am by no means an expert, but I think I'm going through it, too! Good luck! M.

She is probably letting you have it for leaving her! Plus, she has had a long day, too, and you guys are her safety net...she can let go with you. Reasoning with her will not work because her little brain isn't quite there yet. She is still in the adjustment period and will improve with time and consistency. There are going to be things she picks up, but make sure you let her know it is not allowed, and continue to discipline the way you did when you were home with her. She will come around! Hang in there and just do your best...it's all we can do!

I wouldn't say your daughter is picking up bad habits. I think she's probably confused by the new arrangement and working through her frustration the only way a non-verbal child knows how- crying and whining. This is really new for her so be patient with her. Also at this age, regardless of the daycare situation, they start testing their boundaries with you. Instead of taking the approach of telling her that her behavior isn't acceptable or ignoring her or talking to her about how much you work, etc., maybe try the approach of telling her that she doens't have to act out to get your attention and love. At this age, your actions probably mean more to her than your words. If you only have 2 hours with her, try to spend as much of that time with her in a quality way. I worked when my oldest was little so when I came home my time was with her. I prepared dinner ahead of time or brought something home so that I didn't have to spend the little time I had in the kitchen instead. And not matter what I had to do when I got home, the first hour was devoted strictly to quality time with her. Just love her and be patient with her.

I think she is also starting the "terrible two's". My daughter started around this time. I ignored her tantrums which were the best for her. You might also want to read "The Best Toddler on the Block" by Dr. Karp for some other coping techniques. I really enjoyed Dr. Karp's real world approach to toddler behavior; he speaks from experience. I liked the part where he joked that extremely well behaved and even tempered toddlers are actually aliens from another planet (like my sainted older sister).

Fyi, since daycare is new to her she is having to handle al ot more stimulation all day at the daycare, and is possibly very tired when she gets home. My son is 18months and does the same but only on the days he goes to daycare. He needs extra hugs/kisses and a little down time when he gets home and usually he acts better.
Good luck

As a home daycare provider, I find it very upsetting that the blame is getting put on someone at her daycare. A 20 month old needs time to adjust to new routines. Her life has been completely turned upside down. She will not adjust to something like that overnight. Daycare providers work very hard at discipline all day long. That is what we spend a huge part of our day on. Positive direction and redirecting are all a part of discipline, not just putting a child in timeout for hitting. I can attest to the fact that most children are better behaved at daycare than at home. My own children included, are better for others than for me. After holding themselves together all day, many children "let loose" in the evenings when they are with their parents. I refer to this as "mommy love." A child knows their parent will love them no matter what. They aren't so sure about these new strangers in their life. When you have to be dressed up and prim and proper at work all day, you want to go home and change and relax. Your daughter is doing the same thing. She just releases by crying and whining. A lot of my daycare kids have done the same thing. It is perfectly normal. Stressful on the parents, but normal. It doesn't mean that the daycare providers are letting her get away with unacceptable behavior, or that she is "picking up the bad behavior." It just means she knows things in her life are changed and she is trying to deal with it. In time (it may take a couple months) she will get used to it and it will be easier. In the mean time, I would get a lot of easy to cook meals that can be popped into the oven, and spend a little extra time cuddling or reading or just playing with your daughter.