My daughter is almost two. Her birthday is in December. She has am extensive case of terrible twos! She is so mean to everyone! She has horrible temper tantrums and crazy seperation anxiety. Help me please. I need some ideas on what to do. Time out, time in, etc nothing works. She throws herself on the floor and bashes her head off the floor and walls. She kicks and screams. When you pick her up she throws herself backwards. I have tries letting her throw her fits but it doesn't work she doesn't stop. She is mean to other people. She bites, hits, pushes, you name it! My son was never like this so I am new to all this behavior problems. Nothing I've done works so help please. We have started going to play groups. As far as her anxiety goes omg horrible! We put her in dance class and she sat in the corner and screamed even when I was with her! She hates people and that's Jo exaggeration!
she wont let anyone hold her (family included) she screams when someone tries to talk to her. The doctor can't touch her or talk to her! Idk what to do. She has sensory problems so I'm wondering if maybe she needs some therapy to help her? Or will she outgrow it?
So you know she has sensory problems. Does that mean you have had her evaluated? If you have, and you know she has sensory problems, why isn't she already with an OT in therapy?
What you said here is such a big red flag to me that I'm hesitant to give you advice. You need some real help. This could be autism in addition to sensory integration disorder.
Go get help.
I would really suggest getting a referral to a behavioral pediatrician... this is a pediatrician that specializes in possible behavior disorders.
She has sensory issues, as you say... is she getting any OT or PT to help address that? Have you contacted the ECI (Early Childhood Intervention) program through your local schools?
These can all help you address the sensory issues, and possibly the behavior issues.
I really think you need professional help with this....
If she is really so extreme, I would get her analyzed by early intervention for processing/ behavioral disorders.... Just to see. Ask your pediatrician, and they can give you a referral.
Also, look into things that could be causing these behaviors. Something that seems insignificant to us can be a HUGE deal to toddlers.
ETA after your SWH:if she has sensory issues, it is expected that she will be more extreme. Talk to her pediatrician about therapy, if she is not already in it. If she is, ask the therapist for advice. Their job is to teach kids to cope with their disorders. You might also seek out a forum or support group specifically FOR parents of kids with SPDs. Some parents I know have mentioned that dietary changes, cutting out red dye, and little tweaks in clothing (for example, only ankle socks, no tags, certain fabrics) have helped their behavior.
What is she eating.. Take away all dyes, chocolate, and HFCS.. We are what we eat..
Give it some time.
That should help. You can also do acupunture for the sensory-it is with out needles, more like acupressure.
I would also have her tested for food sensitivities. My son is now gluten free, and Milk (just milk, he still has cheese & yogurt). Between the diet changes and acupuncture he is a changed boy.
Read the Sensory child.. it is a great book, it helps to explain why they do what they do. Once you understand what is going on, it will help to make things better. She is overwhelmed and over stimulated. There are things you can do, to help ...
Good luck
My sister had tantrums like that.
What worked for my Mom was - she left the room.
Once the intended audience was gone the tantrum stopped.
Some kids are not ready for activities or play dates until they are much older.
Really not even two yet is pretty young - kids don't play cooperatively with each other till they are about 4 years old.
Before that they will sit next to each other and do something called parallel play.
I'd hold off on any more dance classes or anything else for a few years.
Maybe you are going too fast for her.
If she tantrums often, record several and play them back for the pediatrician on her next checkup.
He might be able to give you some advice or point you in the direction of where you might find some help in how to cope with a challenging behavior.
If she has sensory issues - you and she both need help to learn how to best deal with it.
K.:
What is her diet like?
Has she been evaluated for anything?
When she throws her fits - do you beg her to stop? Do you give her attention? If so - STOP giving her ANY attention during her fits. She wants to bang her head on the floor? Sorry - sounds cruel - but let her - walk out of the room and IGNORE her fit.
You need to ensure that there are no dangerous objects for her to hurt herself or anyone else with as well. If it means moving knives to a locked drawer? So be it.
Your daughter needs MORE than therapy. If she won't let a doctor examine her - then she might require in-house treatment - even at the young age of 2. She might have disorder that can't be fixed by traditional means.
Talk to doctors. Find an Occupational Therapist. Talk to Nutritionists...stop giving your child ANY and ALL processed food - no kool-aid. No Capri-Sun's. Orange Juice? Make sure you process it yourself. No preservatives. She might have food allergies and whatever she is ingesting is making it worse and causing her to act out.f I don't know. I'm not a doctor. I'm just going by experience with my children and watching others around me.
Take out any and all dyes that she may be ingesting. Ensure that her food is as simple as possible. My friends son started exhibiting these signs when he was 18 months old. He's on medication, sees a therapist and now that he's 13 - pays attention to what he eats and what triggers him.
Good luck
If she has diagnosed sensory issues you HAVE to get clarification on what they are. My son is autistic, and while he does not have sensory sensitivities, I have been reading blogs by autistic people who do, and the sensory overload they experience can be physically painful.
Pleas get help, contact autism speaks, contact your school district. You really need to clarify if this is "terrible twos" or more, because if you don't know what it is, you can't fix it.
Please check out this blog - adiaryofamom.wordpress.com. Her daughter has autism with sensory sensitivities. She has a support page where you can ask questions like this and readers who are also dealing with it can answer.
If she can't talk yet, look into baby sign language so she will be less frustrated. Also make sure that she doesn't have communication issues, which are a huge source of frustration.
Good luck.
Because of her age you need to reach out to parents as teachers. There is not much that can be done other than therapy and figuring out what is going on.
In my state they transition from parents as teachers to first steps, I am sure you state has similar programs. So far as doctors go start with a pediatric neurologist.
Two is not too young for discipline. Time outs and time ins will not stop raging tantrums, they will just enable them. The book Back to Basics Discipline is great on this topic. Don't waste time, it gets harder from here, the ideal time to nip fits and instill good future self-control is between 18 months and 2 yrs. Whether you have an even worse three-year-old or a sweet one depends entirely how effective you are in nipping this now.
***Woah, just saw the sensory/doctor swh? Yes, get professional help.
Hi, k:
First thing, you have lost control.
Take parenting classes.
Learn to set boundaries by getting her attention.
My g grandson threw a temper tantrum in the mall one day.
I said to myself: "I am not picking up the child and taking him kicking and screaming all the way to either the bathroom or the car."
I bent over him, put my hands around each little thigh and told him, "Stop, people are looking at us." I squeezed his thighs to get his attention. He sat up. I put my hands around the top of his arms. I said: "stop, people are looking at us." I squeezed his arms to get his attention. He finally calmed down.
After that, I asked him what was his problem.
Another time, he wouldn't stay in bed for his nap. I gave him a choice. "you can stay in the bed and take a nap, or I am going to whack you on your diaper." I had to whack him on his diaper.
Once he knew I meant business, he would do as I suggested.
However you get her attention, that's what you need to do. Don't use any excuse why she's not minding.
You forgot to let her know you are the parent somewhere along the line.
Good luck.
D.
She definitely has some sensory/emotional issues. My GD was just like that when she was around that age. Mom didn't want to acknowledge that she was not quite the same as the other kids and now at 13 she has just been diagnosed with autism. She's had no intervention because mom refused to even consider it and the schools, well if they don't have a parent pushing for an evaluation, they just save their money and move on. I was counting on the school to do the evaluation, but if mom doesn't ask, they don't do.
Please have your daughter evaluated for emotional disturbance ASAP. I do NOT think this is something she will outgrow.
first off, dont allow her to bash her own head on anything, even if you have to take her by the hand and say, "NO!DONT DO THAT!!", frankie got over the hit your head thing when i said, ok, you want to hit yourself, then no sesame street then you calm down, then i reached over turned off the tv and walked away, when the howling stopped..i picked her up and put her in my lap, asked her was she alright, then i turned the tv back on, the minute she started howling , bashing or whining, the tv went back off and i got up and walked out of the room..and after three times off having to turn off the tv, it stayed off for about ten minutes, which is an eternity when you are two..as for the scream fest when you take your two year out, she might be over stimulated, two year olds take in a whole lot more then us clueless adults typically realize..K.
