Hi J.,
I had a hysterectomy in June 2007, my kids are 2 and 5. I had to have a "cut" (instead of laproscopic) and had both the uterus and ovaries removed. Honestly, for me, I didn't have what I would consider excess pain. When I first woke up from the surgery, I had cramps, but it felt like really bad period cramps and the pain relief I was given took care of it. Once I left the hospital, I was given pain meds, but I hardly used any of the strong stuff.
After I was home, I was fortunate to have people from church who would take my kids for a few hours so I could rest. I think I probably had people take them for about 2 weeks (plus my mother in law was here for a few days and my husband took some time off work). All in all, I had some sort of help for about 4 weeks. I would suggest lining up some friends to bring meals to you 2-3 times a week for 2 weeks, then you will probably feel like you can do things for yourself. My experience was that I bounced back pretty quickly and never needed constant care.
If you don't live in a place where you have a lot of friends/family, make sure you stock your fridge with easy meals (frozen dinners) so you don't have to worry about wearing yourself out fixing meals. Delegate some of your household chores to your kids. They should be able to understand that you need some help and that they need to do their part.
I had my surgery because I was finished having kids and there is a history of ovarian cancer in my family. I feel like the decision to have a hysterectomy was the right one, but I did have a bit of mourning, knowing I couldn't ever have kids again. I didn't want any more kids, but the whole idea that I couldn't have them was kind of hard.
I was a little frightened of the surgery and started crying right before I went into the operating room. The doctor and nurses I had were really great. When the anesthesiologist saw that I was crying, he was very understanding and assured me that the medication they were going to give me would help me relax - which they did.
Since the surgery, I think I feel better. Even though I wasn't having any problems before my surgery, my emotions seemed to be more even after the surgery. I am currently on hormone replacement (Vivelle patches)which work fine for me. I will probably quit taking the hormones in a few months, then go through early menopause - I'm 45 (going through menopause surely will be a whole different story)!
Be sure to write down all your questions to ask your doctor prior to your surgery and make sure he/she answers them in a way that make sense to you. I had a lot of questions about weight, mood, sex, etc.
I hope this information is helpful and doesn't sound too "bossy". I know you will be fine. There are also websites you can find online that can offer support. I read just a couple of those, but I think it's rare that women with young kids have hysterectomies. One website I visited talked about how you could use your recovery time to relax and write that novel you always wanted! Yeh, whatever...not with a 2 and 5 year old crawling all over me! :)
If you attend church, you should ask people to pray for you (you don't have to give them all the gory details). I asked the pastors at my church to pray for me, but just told them I was having some surgery I was nervous about. I never felt the need to tell them specifically what type of surgery. Anyway, I know that having people pray for me, really helped.
Good Luck!
L.