Seeking Legal/personal Advice

I would let her know that the childrens father has refused visitation and that if they are visiting her he is not to be there. If she can't handle this then let her know that you will either make other arrangements for her to see them (like a neutral place where you can also be present) or she will no longer be allowed to see them. Let her know that this type of situation is not exceptable and will not be tolerated. As for the hair...I know it sucks but it is just hair and it will grow back.

Hi K....I'm M.. I would say you have more then enough reason to be very concerned. If I was in your situation I would NOT let your children have anything to do with them any longer. I mean what kind of father would want to have no visitation to his children? And obviously his mother is playing the game as well. You were nice enough to let HER spend time with your children and she allows something like that to happen. I hope I am not making you worried, that is not my intention...but I would nip it in the bud before something serious could occure. Also did you ask your sons what happened? Why he did this? I would deffinately speak to your legal personel as well and tell them what is going on so they will already be aware if something else occures. I wish you the best of luck and hope everything works out for you and your sons. If you ever need to talk feel free to email or im me at ____@____.com.

Hi K.,

I tell you what, I am going through the same thing with my ex. I do not have an order against him and we were never married but, I am going through the same thing. I am a 28 yr old with an 8yr old son. I have put up with his father trying to run my life for 5yrs, I am just finally putting my foot down with him. I got my lawyer and im figting him tooth and nail. Its going to be hard for you and your kids are gonna feel the anger you both have towards each other. My best suggestion to you is write in a journal. Write everything, about your mother-in-law and your soon to be ex. Jot everything that means something to you or your kids. Listen to what your kids say when they come home from thier grandparents house or thier fathers house. Dont make bad remarks about thier dad to them, let their father dig his own hole, im sure he is saying things or making remarks about you when he has the kids, let him this will show the court that he is uncapable of being a true father. Try and suggest to your lawyer that you want him to have supervised visits with the kids. There is a reason why you have an order against him and I am sure its because of what he has done to you physically or emotionally, but that in the judges ears and your lawyers because he treated you so badly who isnt to say he wont get revenge on your kids. I am here for you, you need anything let me know. Seems I am going through the same thing :) keep your head up it will get better trust me it does.

Personaly i would stop all communication with his side of the family because they have no respect for u or your children. The grandmother had no right to let the children go off with him in the first place seeing as how he did not want visitation rights the hair will grow back and u have to explain this to ur kids the hair don't make u, u make u

Well you certainly have a reason to be concerned. If you have a restraining order and now he want visitation.. you probably need to go to the court and get those to be supervised visitation, not supervised by his mom. As far as I know grandparents have no real "rights" to see their grandchildren. That is something you did because you were nice. She violated your trust. You have a reason to set healthy boundaries with her and with anyone else who may harm your children (sometimes harm comes in what is said not what is done). Personally if it were me, I certainly would not leave my children alone with either their dad or their grandmother ever again.. no matter how badly you need a break.. You would be safer to hire a sitter.

K. you need to talk ot a family law lawyer......someone who knows the laws for your state. Most states do not have rights for grandparents. Some do......If she is not going to respect your wishes on anything then maybe she should not be allowed to visit them unsupervised.
This sounds like it's going to be turning into a Toxic In-law situation.....Best of luck to you....K.

you need to take this to the JUDGE! He'll be more on your side since you already have a restraining order on your husband, but visitation needs to be laid out in black and white when it's coming to your in-laws because he can see the boys (which he should), but somewhere in the visitation needs to have a rule set for returning the kids back as they received them. Go to the court clerks office in family court and ask them if there is something you can file for situations like this. They will be able to point you to the right direction

There are very strong domestic violence laws in NJ. Does your restraining order include the children? If it does, he is violating the order if he sees the children at your mother-in-laws. This is a police matter. If it does not include the children, I would suggest you get it amended. In Middlesex County, we have an agency called Women Aware which helps in such matters. Check with your county.
A.

Ooooh, just reading that made me mad! First of all, did your husband give up the right legally or just verbally to see the kids? That will make a difference on how to approach this. Definately, talk to your lawyer before you do anything. Second of all, your mother in law gave up her rights to see those kids unsupervised when she let your husband take them and then didn't tell you about the hair. It sounds to me like she and her son planned the whole thing from the get go. Talk to your lawyer, and get EVERYTHING in writing. This will cover your butt in the future from a legal standpoint, and will keep something like this from happening this again. Good luck.

i'm hoping you have an attorney- if not you need one fast. there is obviously a reason you have a restraining order and it seems his mother is in denial or is sneaky too. if you want the kids to see her. i would be there with them to supervise. thats really too bad about your youngest. but i would really try and retain an attorney that way there is no funny business.
C.

The same things more or less happened to me. You have to let her know that you are the mother and what you say goes. If the father does not want to see them he has no right to change your way of upbring. It may be a hair cut now but he might be something worse later. YOU ARE THE MOTHER! Your ex mother in-law should respect your wishes. You are young and need to stand your ground. I have 2 boys myself, you need to be firm with them. If they see their father doing what he wants without caring what you think they might look up to that. Trust me I been throught that. You let them know I am mommy and I have this job 247 and you will do and respect me.