Sleepless Nights!!!!!!

I had a similar issue with my son. We tried every trick in the book...every method out there! It wasn't until we got the book and followed the method in, "Good Night, Sleep Tight" that our troubles were over! My son was 11 months old before he finally started sleeping...so there is hope! But I'm telling you -- read this book and follow the sleep lady shuffle method. It totally worked for us. It's like a modified CIO...where you are actually beside the crib while they cry...and gradually work your way towards the door...over several nights. It was a week of hell for us, but we saw results after a few nights. Highly recommend it. I know how you feel -- it is NO fun, for sure!

K.

Hello J.,

What has worked for me with my daughter was to teach her how to fall asleep on her own. The other important thing is to make sure the baby is warm dressed, especially their feet; warm fluffy socks or warm and comfy booties. Sometimes babies wake up at night from simply being cold and they don't know how to fall back to sleep on their own. Here is an article I have saved;

Step 1 When your child calls out for you or starts crying after you have put him to bed, wait for a minute or two, then go to him but do not turn on the light in his room or take him out of the crib.

Step 2 Speak quietly to your child and reassure him that you are there if he needs you. But also be firm about the fact that it is time for sleeping and not for talking. Then leave the room while your child is still awake.

Step 3 The next time he cries (which may be immediately after you leave), wait a minute longer than you did the first time, then repeat the process.

Continue in this fashion, letting your child cry a little bit longer each time before you go to him. Speak to him briefly, and leave the bedroom while he is still awake. On the second night, wait a little longer than you did the first time on the first night before going in to your child, then repeat the pattern. By the second or third night, you may well find that your child is already going to sleep sooner.

When your child wakes in the night and cries for you, use the same technique. Let him cry for four or five minutes, then go to him, reassure him that you are there, and leave. Return at lengthening intervals as necessary. Eventually, your child will learn to put himself to sleep without your help. The associations that he once may have needed-having his back stroked or a lullaby sung to him until he fell asleep-will gradually be replaced with others: Being in his crib with his special toy or blanket, for example, will be enough.

You can rest assured that a little bit of crying will not hurt your child. In the long run, allowing him to cry for a few minutes at a time for a few nights will be far more beneficial to him (and to the rest of the family) than allowing a poor sleeping pattern to persist. Using this method, success can come remarkably quickly, almost always within a couple of weeks once you start it, and often within just three or four nights.

I have a 2 and 3 1/2 year old. We have established bedtime routines - now - but I remember like it was yesterday what you are going through. First let me say it is going to be more difficult for you than her as she will get over it but you will remember. With that said I agree with Valerie P. It would be best to disassociate your little one going to sleep with needing you to do it. I did that and believe me when I say it doesn't get easier! It gets alot worse and they get alot more demanding if you don't establish it now.

The best advice I have EVER received when I had my first was to establish a bedtime routine and stick to it. After bathtime we do "wind down time" where we dim the lights and read them a few books then its off to bed.

For the age of your little one I would nurse my son, then give a bath, dim the lights and spend some time with him and then put him in his crib. Whatever routine you chose just be consistent so she gets used to the signals that bedtime is coming. When I put my son in his crib, I wouldn't linger in the room, even if he was standing up and crying. I would tell him its night night time and I love him and leave. Initially I let him cry 15 minutes and then went to check on him; then check back in 30 minutes. I won't lie, my son cried off and on for 45 min to an hour and it was awful. The second night he cried 30 minutes, the third night he cried 10-15 minutes and then, a miracle, he went to bed without crying. It took 4 days and they were horrible days but now my husband and I have our own bed to sleep in and I know come 8:00 p.m. my husband and I have time for us.

I feel your pain and wish you the best.

I am by no means an expert either. I have a 3-1/2 year old and [knock on wood] didn't have any major sleep problems with her.
I have read that one thing you need to do is put the baby to bed while she's still somewhat awake. This way she can learn how to got to sleep on her own in case she wakes up in the night. At this point she has learned how to go to sleep while nursing and while laying in bed with you. I don't necessarily agree with letting them cry it out because I personally feel there is a trust issue involved. The baby needs to know you are there if she really needs you. However, I also believe that you can let her cry a few minutes (and I have heard letting her cry a few minutes longer than you think to see if she will calm down on her own).
I also had one of those crib aquariums from Fisher-Price that my daughter could hit with her feet and turn on the music and lights when she woke up. I think the white noise helped some since I put it on the ocean sounds.
Good luck! I hope you are able to find something that will work for you!
V.

I don't really have an an answer, but I just wanted to tell you that I'm in the same boat with my 17 month old! I have a book called "The No Cry Sleep Solution" that has some good suggestions that don't involve crying, but I also believe she will eventually develop better sleep habits on her own. She seems to be sleeping in her crib for longer and longer amounts of time. I don't mind co-sleeping part of the night and I know we won't be nursing forever. Good luck with whatever you decide to try!

There is a great book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child.

Good Luck!

Teaching her to fall asleep on her own will be rough but you will be relieved when she does. Nursing her to sleep may not be the best idea. Then she will be conditioned to needing you to fall asleep. I would suggest trying to put her to bed awake. You may have to hear her cry for a few nights or so and I know it's hard. When my son was 8 weeks I would nurse and then rock him to sleep and he would wake up screaming and I rocked and rocked until he stayed asleep. It started to drive me crazy that's when I told my ped. and she said to put him asleep awake or at least drowsy and to let him cry (not for too long of course). I started doing this and went into my room a turned on my radio so I could not hear and just watched the clock. Eventually after a few nights he just went to sleep on his own. Talk with your ped. and good luck!!

Hi J.,
It is hard to let them "cry it out" however sometimes it is best to do just that. Once you bring them into your bed it is next to impossible to get them out of it. Since you have already put her in your bed, she is used to it and most likely will not go back to sleep unless she is there. However, if you let her cry, she will understand and will eventually go back to sleep in her own bed. I had a similar problem with my son. He would wake up in the night for a "rock in the rocking chair". Needless to say, I was exhausted. Finally I had to let him "cry it out" and he did go to sleep. It lasted about 20 minutes and a few nights as I recall. Once he realized that he was not going to get rocked in the rocking chair, he didn't wake up in the night any more. Good luck.
Sincerely,
D.

I know it sounds terrible for a mother to say Just let them cry it out... I looked at my son's doctor like she was stupid when she told me to let him cry it out, and I kept saying if I let him cry it out D.C.F will be knocking at my door, Then I watched an episode of Super nanny, and gave it a try... I used to give him his bottle and rock him to sleep, then lay him down once he was asleep, he would wake up always around 2 or 3am sometimes even more screaming and would only take a bottle of formula, water didn't cut it.. The first night Daddy had to put him to bed, I couldn't do it.. But he only cried for 10 minutes and was out woke up at 7 am, the next night it was like 8 minutes and he didn't wake up and the next night 5 minutes... Now he just cries going down the hallway to his room and thats it, he plays for a few minutes and goes right to sleep.. Sleeps all night.. Wakes up around 8:00~8:30 am, So it wasn't until he was 13 months old that he started sleeping through the night..
Good luck and hang in there!! If you need to and daddy is available then have daddy do it and go for a walk or a drive... IT HELPS!!! IT TRULY IS THE BEST THING FOR HER!!!! GOOD LUCK AGAIN
HOPE THAT HELPS...

K.