So I Thought I Was ready....appearently Not!?!?!

Updated on January 16, 2011
S.H. asks from Troy, TX
22 answers

So my 11 almost 12 year old daughter came home from school today and while sitting on the couch eating popcorn said "oh I think I started my period today" We have always had GREAT communication so I am not suprised that she was toatlly comfortable. I said ok asked if she still had the pads I gave her...reminded her of all of her options then went in my bedroom shut the door and cried for 20 min. I have no idea why. I knew it was coming ...she is one of the last in her circle of friends....we have talked about it at length. But still I had a total meltdown. Has this ever happened to anyone else? I feel like I am toatally overreacting....obviously...but I still want to just cry some more.

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So What Happened?

Thank you all so much for your responses. I feel alot less crazy lol. I guess she knew I was upset (even though I tried super hard to hide it) but she came in before she went to bed last night and said "I know it's a hard day for you mom, but I'm still the same girl and we can do this. Thanks for loving me so much" I'm just in awe ...she always says and does the right things and she handles everything so gracefully....even when I'm a mess! Today I feel like the luckiest mom in the world :)

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R.F.

answers from Dallas on

OK - you made me cry. I think it's a very bittersweet day. 1) she totally confided in you 2) she's growing up.
Do something really special for her. I cried when I got mine because I thought I wouldn't be 'daddy's girl anymore. Luckily, my dad came to me and gave me a great big hug!
Still crying! Ha! Just wait until my daughter starts hers (she's not even 5 yet!).
Also - wait til you are both on the same cycle and crying/screaming/PMSing at the same time :)

3 moms found this helpful
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A.J.

answers from Portland on

Awwww...you are a sweet mama! :) I only have a son not yet 1, but I will say I think I cried for at least 20 minutes when I first got mine so you must be doing something right:)

1 mom found this helpful

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H.*.

answers from Modesto on

Aww, too cute :) She's on her way to becoming a woman Mom. Teach her EVERYthing she needs to know to survive this crazy world.

4 moms found this helpful
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L.S.

answers from Spokane on

Aww, that's kinda sweet. I have 3 girls (all 4 and under though) and I'm sure I'll react the same way :) It's a quantifiable event that is telling you that she IS in fact growing up...something that's awful hard for us mama's to face head-on sometimes.

So, I say cry if you need to. Get it all out. Just don't let her see (she might misunderstand *why* you're so upset). And be proud of the open and honest relationship you've forged with your daughter :)

EDIT: Ok, your 'what happened' brought tears to my eyes!

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D.R.

answers from New York on

overreacting?? I am crying at YOUR post, haha! it is what it is, mama. my girl is only 5, im terrified of the basket case im going to become. sigh..... its all good, and you must be an amazing mama for her to be so close to you. when i got mine, my mom bought me the same perfume that her mom bought her. it made me feel good, a little more grown up, it was special. i will do the same. {{{{{hugs}}}}}}

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J.L.

answers from San Diego on

I'd bawl and I'm pretty stoic, except when it comes to my baby girl. This is a huge milestone! Celebrate her and congratulate yourself for having such laid the groundwork for awesome communication. And cry. They are beautiful tears!

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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

.

2 moms found this helpful

G.T.

answers from Modesto on

Milestones always make us sniffle :)

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M.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

Awwww sweety. Its hard letting our little girls grow up. I have two daughter about to go threw that. I would love to hear the talk you had with her...

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A.S.

answers from Spokane on

Big hugs, mamma. :) It's ok to be sad at a milestone, especially a major one like this! Your little girl is growing ups so CELEBRATE! :) Years ago (before I had 4 children) I used to make my own soaps, balms, etc. I would bundle them up into gift baskets and one of my most popular ones was one specifically for this occasion. :) It included soft cloth pads, chocolates, a candle, a moon diary, a pretty pencil, soaps & bath fizzies (of course!) and whatever else I thought of that would pamper. :) For extra, I would include a wonderful book called Moon Days. You can find it at the Wise Woman Bookshop (http://www.herbalmedicinehealing.com/store/item_view.asp?.... Pamper herself and you. If she would like, dress up and take her out to dinner, just the two of you. Go to a spa or a movie or whatever. But celebrate. :) Big hugs. I'm crying too. LOL

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R.B.

answers from New York on

Awww hugs. I am a long way off for this but I think I will do the same.

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R.J.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I would cry if it were my daughter I dont have girls but I can totally understand how you would just want to cry...

1 mom found this helpful
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J.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

Yes, I cried too! I was surprised how emotional I got!

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A.S.

answers from Boca Raton on

I don't have a daughter so I don't have any good advice!

Here is a virtual hug though. << >>

1 mom found this helpful
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G.G.

answers from Austin on

I think I will feel the same way. You and your daughter are about to start a new chapter in your lives. She's going to start changing and it's hard to say goodbye to our babies. My kids are a little younger but I am already seeing there independence. They need me less and less. I love it and hate it. It makes me sad that the baby chapter of my life is long gone and I'll never have that back. Makes me tear up just typing it. However, it's part of life. These feelings will pass, don't worry. Every stage of childhood has it's special moments for a mom. Although I don't want my daughter to grow up too fast, I also look forward to the days we can shop and have lunch together and share stories. That will be great too.

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C.B.

answers from Austin on

You are totally normal. It is the end of an era and on to a new one. I am sure you cried when you dropped her off on her first day of school. This milestone is no different. cb

1 mom found this helpful

D.B.

answers from Houston on

I remember it well, myself. We humans react or respond. Reacting usually looks messy! We have fight, flight, or freeze as built-in reactions, and likely, from the sound of it, you reacted to inner fears and took flight into your room to express yourself. Fear of her growing away, fear of her phase as a girl with menstrual issues to deal with (and you, too), of someone taking advantage of her as she develops, of her passing girlhood and your own sense of aging--only you will know when you look to see what it was/is. It's human, AND we can train ourselves to learn to respond, rather than react. She'll take her cues from you about what's normal, fear-free. you could apologize to her for leaving at that moment to cry---she probably knew what you were doing, and let her in on your insight, once you've had it. Hope this helps.

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T.P.

answers from Austin on

you're not overreacting! i cried just reading your post! she's growing up and it's always hard to see your babies grow up! i'm sure i will be the same way! it's great that she knows she can talk to you! good job! :)

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S.N.

answers from Houston on

I am similiar to you. I get very emotional on any milestone. My 5 year old started kindergarten and I bawled my eyes out. My 11 year old almost 12 started junior high and I bawled my eyes out. I think it is perfectly normal. I think we just can't believe how fast time flies by and want to keep our babies just a little longer. I also get all emotionally about a month before her birthday. You are not overreacting.

L.A.

answers from Austin on

It is very emotional..
Glad she told you, good job!

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C.P.

answers from Dallas on

I got teary eyed reading your post! you are not overreacting this is huge! your little girl is turning into a little woman. I remember when I got my period the first time, I felt so special.
God bless!

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S.B.

answers from Houston on

Aren't we blessed to be moms of wonderful girls? I love reading about others who have such great relationships with their kiddos. When my daughter was growing up I told her I wasn't her friend but her mom and it was my job to set boundaries. I told her when she was older we would be friends but right now she needed me more as a mom than a buddy. I think our kids grow up too fast and I wanted to be sure that my kids had a childhood. My daughter is now 22 and recently told me I was the best mother ever and her bestest friend! I cried!!! You have such milestones coming. Enjoy each one and celebrate your daughter.

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