Soon to Be Baby # 2. - Sterling Heights,MI

My daughter was 18months when my son was born and she was the same way. Well most of the time she is. She always wants her mommy. Then my son he wants mommy too. It is a very hard thing to balance. What I do with my daughter is I play up the 'big sister' role with her. It works well. She really likes helping mommy and being a big girl. And when they are both screaming for you you have to some how explain to her that you have to help the baby because he can't talk. I would really just try to play on the big sister role. Little kids like to make their parents happy. GOOD LUCK

My children are 18 months apart as well. And my oldest was a leach too! But when my second daughter was born, my 18 month old daughter sort of went into a shell. it took her a very long time to even acknowledge her newborn sister.She wouldn't touch or look at her!! Hopefully you wont have that problem but my suggestion to you would be to try and envolve your daughter in baby activities like having her get diapers during changing time, or letting her sing to him during bedtime. Try to show her that she is now a BIG SISTER. Good luck!!!

I don't think that you can prevent that kind of thing-- it's the child's personality. My sister's oldest was very clingy and had a tough time when his brother was born, but it passed very soon. Her second son is very independent and never went through the separation anxiety stage. My daughter, on the other hand, is 21 months old and STILL going through separation anxiety. The only thing that makes it any better is to spend one-on-one time with her for a hour before she goes to bed on the days I work. Good luck! It IS just a phase and will pass with time.

Hi Lisa,

I got pregnant with my second daughter when my first girl was 18 months old. My first wanted me to hold her all the time when I was pregnant, she was a big "momma's" girl. I slowly weaned her from being held and told her that her sister was in my tummy and we had to protect her and keep her safe. My husband was a restaurant manager and was never around so she became very attached to me and not to him. When I had my second girl, I nursed her and many times my first daughter would watch. I'd just tell her real basic things and let her be part of the feeding process with bottles. Many times, I'd hold both of them in my lap so my first could talk to the baby and "get to know" her. You'll find as the baby grows, your attached first will find more interesting things to do instead of clinging to mommy. My oldest is 3 now and the baby is 11 months and now I deal with them fighting for toys. It will get easier with the clinging but then it gets harder with other things. It's a great stage, them being young but so trying on us moms!
Hang in there, J.

Lisa, I remember being preg. with my second child and sick with worry about. Really Really stress the "big sister" thing make her feel special. That really helped my son. And it's odd how you do go through a month of adjustment but they just know and they love that little baby jsut as much as you do. And you figure out how to fit two on your lap. And I know that since my son was a handful my husband HAD to help with my daughter when she was born and now they have a bond like you would not believe. You will be fine. Your daughter will be OK too. When they are that close they end up usually being best friends and after a while its easier because they entertain and play with each other. Take Care, M.

My son is 3 and is the same way. My 2nd is due in October. I wish you the best of luck-- I'm sure that I'm going to have some problems too. My son won't let his dad put him to bed, etc. My plan is to slowly over the next 6 mos had Dad do more and to have Dad care for the baby (when possible- I also plan to nurse) so I can still spent time with my 3 year old. Hopefully they will adapt.

Good luck!!

Lisa,
You may want to try having special daddy and mommy activities. Something that the kids like (ex. bedtime stories, playing tag) that only daddy does or only mommy does. This way the kids can develop special attachments to each of you without picking one person over the other. You may still have a momma's or a daddy's kid on your hands though.

it's just the age. She will get over it. Expect the clingy thing to continue for a while when the baby is born.

I didn't read all the responses so I am not sure if anyone has came to you with this advice, but...

I am on baby number 2 (mine will be 24 months) and although I am not in the same boat as you I have two pieces of advice.

First, my daughter as a baby always preferred me over my husband. To the point that it hurt my husbands feelings. Well I told him he needed to do more things with her. For example, I was giving her every bath, feeding her, etc. Finally when my husband started to do those things with her, especially things she really loved, like baths, she started to want both of us. So try and get your husband to do fun things with her more, like playing outside, giving her a bath, if she enjoys them. And I can say now sometimes my daughter picks him over me now.

Secondly, my dad told me, he who had three of us, that when my brother was born, my sister became very attached to him, but mostly because my mom was doing the baby things and she would need help so he would take my sister along with him. He said, it was probably because it was easier for him to watch my sister then my brother. So maybe that will help with you.

But I definately think you need to get your husband to do more things with your daughter, that will help! Good luck!

Hello-
My daughter was 15 months old when I had my son, and like your daughter she was VERY attached to me. Brace yourself for alot of tears!! I cried for days because she all of a sudden didn't want anything to do with me and only wanted her daddy!!! It all works out!! I was able to nurse my son for 6 months, and she only treated me like that for about 1 week. Things have seemed to calm down alot!! Don't stress about it...things always seem to work themselves out!!! Good luck with the new baby!

My husband and I have a 2 and a half year old little girl and I went throught this same thing. I had to sit down with my husband and explain to him that even though I was home to he can step up sometimes and take over, with the baby ALWAYS wanting you it can be quite a burden, you are still an individual who needs your own space. especially w/ a new baby your gonna need that extra help, so work something out, good luck