Stress Question

First of all a HUGE hug to you. I can understand why you are so stressed out. You most definitely need a break and it is unfortunate that your husband is not mature enough to understand someone else's point of view. I certainly advocate that married couples work together to solve problems but it doesn't sound like he is open to discussing options. I would try one more time to sit down with him. Present an open ended question something like, "I am at my breaking point right now and I need your help to figure out what to do. I can't continue this way. Are you willing to listen and then help come up with a solution or do I need to figure this out and solve it on my own. Continuing like we are is NOT an option!"

If he says he will help then sit together and make a list of what is working well in your lives and a list of problems to be solved. Start with what is good and use that as a basis for moving forward. Then pick one of the problem areas each week to discuss together. Set a regular day and time that you use to discuss family matters. And make sure he gets an opportunity to include things that he would like to change.

If he is unwilling to help, you have a problem. Continuing as things are is not a healthy option for you or your kids or your marriage. Even if he won't seek counseling, you need to for yourself so that you have that support.

From a problem solving perspective...are there other moms around you that would be interested in setting up a babysitting exchange so that you could at least get some breaks? Have you checked into any job options and what your pay would be as well as what daycare options and that cost? If you write out a summary of the finances you may be able to prove that it makes economic sense for the family. I don't know your husband's military duties right now but if you have times when he can care for the baby and you could do a home based selling business like Tastefully Simple or Avon or other, that would give you a chance to get some adult interaction. That would also give him perspective on how hard it can be with a screaming child.

Good luck and keep us posted.

Are there any Moms you can switch out babysitting time with?? Maybe 1 to 2 days a week?? Start walking if you can as that helps tremendously with your "feel good" serotonins. Go to www.cushytoosh.etsy.com and if you cloth diaper or are considering cloth diapering we are always looking for SAHM helpers. Basically trying out even just one diaper and then telling any and all and you'll receive 25% commission on their order.
Kind of like the Mary Kay of Cloth Diapering:)

Also google stress relieving foods. I know calcium, magnesium and b vitamins are very important in stress reduction.

If you are feeling 100% the better your family is going to feel. Moms run the boat.

Also, keep an eye on what your "screamer" is eating paying attention to food dyes, msg, artificial sweeteners, etc. Our foods today unfortuneately aren't in the best interest of our children.

Food Dyes pertain to 30% of ADD/ADHD. Google excitotoxins and come join our facebook group Mothers Against Poisons (MAPS)
http://www.facebook.com/?sk=2361831622#!/group.php?gid=15...

Hang in there:) Also mention to your OB your stress level and see if she/he recommends anything.

Yes, you need a break!!! I'm a SAHM military wife and my kids are 10 and 4 and drive me nuts some times!!! I do a lot of Family Readiness stuff which puts me around other like minded grown ups. I also do MCFTB (Marine Corps Family Team Building) which does Lifeskills classes for any one here like Who moved My cheese, 4 lenses (self, couples and kids), Jr, Warrior Day where kids get a small taste of the other side of military life and all the childcare I need when I help with these things is FREE!!! I don't get paid as everything is voluntary but I get to take the classes and help out with them and it all can go on a resume and help get you a job later down the line!! Now every branch calls their programs different things and may or may not offer childcare but it is worth checking into!! Even if you don't volunteer to help teach, float or set up for these classes, just go into your Family office and see what information they can give you to help you out! We recently started offering classes for wives of deployed so they can vent, share and feel like they aren't alone while there spouse is gone. It's such a big hit that they are thinking of adding on another meeting each week!

Yes, day care can be expensive and maybe it's more if you are at an APO but it's rank based so it might be worth checking into anyway! Or find someone you trust to trade babysit so you can have a few hrs to your self a week.

Check out www.militaryonesource.com if you haven't yet. That site is for military only and you can get anything from free books like Eat Pray Love, do your taxes for free and get some free counseling. They will also be able to tell you what Family based resources are at your base.

HUGS!! It takes a strong man to join the military but it takes an even stronger woman to marry him ;)

S.
Marine Wife of 6yrs!

UPDATE:
If he doesn't want to help then don't help him! You take of your things and the child's and he can fend for himself! When he is up at 3AM looking for his PT clothes and they are all in the bottom of the clothes hamper dirty he'll figure it out real quick! I see it with some of my friends here, they cater to their hubbys just like they are a child and heaven forbid they did something for them self instead of acting like a child and letting their wife do it all for them!!