Table Manners - Shawnee,KS

My kids have to use good table manners or I take their food away until they do. They always get it back when they stop. I have had to do that like 2 X and they got the point. Good luck

Although I only have one and zero experience with this sort of problem yet, I just recently read a post about Love&Logic parenting and went to that site to read what all they had to say, and it just might work. I like what I read because I don't like to constantly yell or repeat myself or even give punishments.
Their philosophy is to give children choices and allow them to experience the consequences without making you the bad guy, but the choice they made becomes the bad guy.
Their examples can be found at:
http://www.loveandlogic.com/articles.html

The stuff that I remember reading regarding things like this is,
"Those that are respectful and use good manners are welcome at the dinner table."
If your child refuses to use good manners then they are not allowed to sit at the table to eat until they do so. Then it's followed up with a statement like, "When you are ready to be respectful at the dinner table, you're welcome to join us." This takes away you being the bad guy by sending them to their room, they're sending themselves to their room because they don't know how to act, and they know how to fix the problem to be able to have dinner, but it's up to them to do so.
They also use an "energy drain" tactic. "Your poor manners/disrespect have really drained my energy, I'm so tired. I had things I needed to do, but instead I need to rest. I'm sure that after you sweep & mop the kitchen floor and clean the dishes (or whatever chore you can insert here, can be mow the lawn, clean the bathroom, etc) I'll feel much better and we can forget all about this." If they fail to do that then you quietly allow them to pay with one of their favorite things (favorite toy, TV, playstation, etc.).

I'm currently thinking about buying one of their books. But it's just a thought :). If you try this out let me know how it goes!

Consistently modeling and requiring the things you desire! I agree with those who have already commented. This is something I require at the table - I have 4 (13,7,5,almost 3) of whom I require these manners and more! Even the 13 year old still "forgets" sometimes - I don't know how it's possible after so many years but....... Never quit! :) As he has gotten older, he has not only had to leave the table but go outside "where pigs eat". If they choose to be pigs later in life, you'll know they KNOW how and are capable of respectable human behavior.

Not sure how old this someone is, if it is your child or someone else, but my suggestion would be every time that he/she does this behavior you take the food away and give it back when they are on their butt and keep doing that, eventually if this is a child they will get sick of it!

S.

I agree with the others. Eat right or leave the table. Nip this in the bud - I have teenagers whom I'm going have to retrain. Right now, anyone who says something gross at the table has to leave. That has worked very well. I've been pretty lenient, but as soon as one kid says something mildly distastefuly, it snowballs into total disgust. Last night my daughter started to say something, then stopped herself and said - I'd have to leave the table if I said that. The others tried to coax it out of her but she never said it. So being put in exile does the trick!

I remind my daughter once, then if she can't behave properly at the table she can leave the table, if she plays with her food, we take her plate until she is ready to eat, often playing and bad manners simply meant she was done and she would go on her way (she is 4.5 now). For smacking I asked her to chew with her mouth close because no one wants to see/hear chewed food. FOr drinking I make sure she has a napkin and remind her to wipe her mouth if she forgets, for sitting, until she was tall enough to sit comfortably at the table (which she sort of can now (44 inches), but not completely) we bought her a stool to sit on. She can't sit on her legs on it, but has no need too, as most children do that to sit up higher and feel more comfortable at a grown-up sized table, and she can reach just fine. We started all of this as she learned to feed herself, so it only takes a few reminders here and there for us.

D. I am with you!!! I have 2 girls 8 & 11 and it is never ending thing when we eat. I hope that someone can help us with this issue. You are not alone

chewing with your mouth open and smacking are my husbands biggest pet peeves, so when we got married we struggled through with my two oldest children who are 7 & 8 now. we tried the leaving the table idea, but they acted like they didn't care one way or the other. then would be hungry at bedtime. now we do reminders and if we catch them, they get a little corner time for each time we catch them... sometimes the time really adds up (but we don't usually make them stay there for that long.) usually just saying "manners" will remind them and they straighten up. we have seen a tremendous improvement at restaraunts and even have gotten comments on how well they've done. and when you notice them doing a good job on manners, say so. they'll feel proud and try to do it more :) encouragement is a wonderful thing. my daughter came home from school last year and told me that she was teaching her friends to use thier manners, lol!

I know that this will sound harsh but here goes... We had a family meeting and listed all the rules at meal times. Sit properly in the chair, no smacking etc. Then the consequences were( you decide what would work for your family). Ours were taking the chair away, taking the drink away and finally child leaving the table without finishing the meal. We took the chair away if not sitting properly, drink away if leaving a moustache. If we had to take something away the next thing was child leaving the table. The main thing is to make rules and set consequences then follow through. Kids will always do as they see and seldom do as parent says if someone is doing the thing that they are told not to. I remember getting in trouble for saying a cuss word and my reply was If Daddy can say it why can't I? Mom said that nice little girls did not say things like that. Later that night I heard her tell Dad that he needed to watch his language. Good Luck!