My youngest turned three in July.
She's a hoot. Right now she's eating breakfast, sans pants, milk dribbling down her chin, curly bed head reaching out in forty-three directions.
Up until this point, raising my daughter has been (mostly) a breeze. She's an easy kid to get along with. My friend put it well, "You know, Jane is really JANE." That's true.
Age two slid by without any of the "terribles". She listened, laughed, and hung out crazy curls dancing, climbed anything in sight, and met life with a genuine passion. And she was always down for a good snuggle. Pretty darn easy for me.
OH boy. Many of my friends kids have hit THREE with all of the challenges. I said, "It's right where they need to be, this is a phase of development, deep breath mama...you'll get through." (We've done one round of challenging three behaviors and just exited into a glorious four.)
HAHAH HAHAH HAHAH HAH!
And now we're in threes with our little one, and for some reason I thought my youngest was immune to challenging behaviors.
WRONG!
My easy-peasy kiddo is now hitting "I have biiiiiiiiig feelings, and so does everyone else. Let me break it down for you, and no I won't be doing what you asked." I mean, it's great. She's really empathetic, curious, testing boundaries (learning that they are firm), and is quite the gentle adventurer.
And she's a little stinker! Fits like I didn't know were in her.
So PLEASE! Remind me that this is just a phase, my child is right where she needs to be, it's part of development, and it's not permanent. My child won't be three forever and three can also be really fun.
Right?
PS Yes, we are consistent with discipline and ground rules, though I'll admit, since she is in transition I am having to tweak, or completely overhaul our methods of discipline - which is certainly challenging for ME at times. I had to learn a lot with our (now) four year old, and gather many tools. Hopefully some of those will be helpful this round. My parenting is always a work in progress...
It's not that I think she'll just raise herself or just wake up one day a different little person, I'm just hoping that *I'll* fall into the groove without TOO much pain! Last time around was tough! ;-)
Remember, the only way through this is through it. You can't go around it, over it, or under it. And I found out with my daughter, whom I love with all my heart, that she was different from my son, that she was different from him. Much more visibly intense, deeper, stronger emotionally at that age.
One of the best pieces of advice I received when expecting my son was "EVERYTHING'S a phase". Yes, the good and the bad.
I thought the two's were a breeze, but then 3.5 hit and the little dude realized he had a will. Oh man...
3 was tough for us, 4 was not so bad, and 5 is proving to be more trying than 5. Phases or not, kids are challenging, period. Right when they finish one "phase" they're on to something else to make us go crazy. Anyway, this is nothing, just wait until they're teenagers - that's when the real fun begins. I only have one kid & I think there's a reason for that. And, sometimes it's not a phase - my mom tells me I was very obedient & quiet & easy going, and DD is opposite of that. Sometimes it's their personality & something you'll have to adjust your parenting to handle.
I love three! I think it can be one of the most challenging ages. I laugh at 2! Three is when it really starts. But, it's a great thing! They *are* learning, growing, exploring, testing. It's what they are supposed to be doing. She's right on track. It is a phase. But, it is one that you can navigate through with grace if you keep on your toes, being consistent, disciplining her (even when she is so stinkin' cute you can't stand it), and heaping loads of love on her. Did I say that I love three? Ah! I miss three!
Stay consistent (it sounds like you are), have fun (it sounds like you are...LOL), and this too shall pass. =) My 5th hit the typical twos at age 12 months. He challenges everything. He's my fifth and my other kids are much older so it seems like he's working hard to stay ahead of them and keep the attention on him always...LOL I'm hoping that if he's acting two at age 1, then maybe he'll act 3 at age two. As wonderful as this stage is, it's nice when they move on...LOL Good luck! I love your post too!! Very well written and FUN!! =D
Ok, maybe I am not understanding your question? You are saying your daughter is throwing tantrums? She wants her way and is not listening? My son is 3. I love this age. They are like little people at this age with interests, fears, emotions, ect. I think you just need to respect that but respect is mutual. Keep modeling good behavior and consistency and pick your battles.
3 was the "terrible" stage at our house. Much more than 2 ever was. With my last (he's 4 now) I'm hoping he grows out of it really soon! He's mostly really good, but he has his really terrible moments. I'm SO over it! It's hard enough dealing with his siblings and their teen/tween issues.
Ha ha your 3 year old sounds just like mine. I am flabergasted at sudden over night behavior change, but I have seen it first hand with my oldest nephew, so I knew it was coming. Just not exactly in the intensity it has.
What I'm really worried about is that my 20 month old has hit his terrible twos like nothing I've seen. Now if my perfect 'angel child' can hit 3 and turn into a totally different child--I am horribly terrified to see what my now 20 month old monster is going to be like next year.....Maybe I'll be lucky and we'll have easy threes with him--I can imagine right?
Yes a phase, but I'm banking on the myth that boys are generally easier during the teenage years!
Good luck!
I thought my first two were hard.....I had not met hard until I had my third.
I too am having trouble believing this is just a phase...but more because my kiddo started in on terribles at 8 months when he started walking.
I have yet to sit down without worry since.
They DO round out of it eventually. You know this....It is How you handle it in the middle that is important. This is the point in their growing up that you set the ground rules for things. If you handle it carefully and calmly now the faster you will be through it.
I think you see once you are rolling through this stronger it will all come back to you. You may find that it is easier then what you are thinking right now.
Remember to Laugh about it when she is not looking. All of it, when you think about is hilarious. I think this is something parents forget to do. If you cant laugh at how nuts your kids are...I dont know why we are doing it. This is the stuff you can laugh about...once they get bigger you may not find them and this behavior funny...and it will happen again.
You are a great mom. I know you will get through this!! Just remember to relax and smile...the light is on at the end of this tunnel...you just have a few more turns to pass, to see it:)
Phase for sure! My daughter is 18 months, and shes easy to get along with too, until about a month ago when she went on vacation with Memaw and Papa for 5 days, and came back with attitude! Now if she wants up, or some food, to be in a room, etc, she straight out throws a fit. She'll throw herself to the ground and thrash like crazy, but I won't give in. She's also shaking her head for "no", ohboy what did her grandparents teach her in those 5 days?
It's entirely up to you. If you meet her head on and change the way you deal with her...after all, she's the one changing things, not you... It will be a phase. But so many parents get the idea that they can sit back and just do what they've been doing. When it comes to parenting, it's either working or it isn't. What worked yesterday doesn't always work today.
Most likely it's a phase. But now it's time to put your creative mommy hat on.
It's a phase mama! (At least until she hits the teens...then you'll wonder when she turned 3 again!)
Take a deep breath mama, you'll get through. ;)
Yes Mama you have a real 3 year old. It's a developmental stage for the mother as well as the child. Keep a sharp eye on her she could disappear in a crowd which was the favorite trick of my first daughter.
The second one I wonder how come I am still alive. It was an hourly challenge.
I had decided never to hit my children under any circumstances and so I had to learn what to do for discipline.
I set limits and if they were overrun I'd just bring them home and some important priviledge would be lost. I couldn't take away TV because my husband and I had decided not to have one. We did take the children to museaums, special playgrounds and concerts every week. We spent time with them and that was what worked to keep the bond going in the face of their ever changing "phases".
❤ It's just a phase, it's part of a healthy development, it is not permanent.
☆ Consider yourself blessed that the two's were so easy.
❤ Good parenting is always a work in progress, there definitely isn't one "right' way, tweaking the tried and true is a must.
☆ Love her for her individuality and independence.
❤ Enjoy this time, they grow so fast!!
Haha yeah it's a phase. I think it occurs at 3 for a lot of people. Mine is a little over 2 1/2 and I notice she is getting a lot more attitude. You don't have to change anything unless it stops working, you're doing great... she tests and runs into the boundaries lol Consistency is my favorite word when my daughter gets this way. It's good you are tellin yourself to breathe, 3 seems like it is going to be a "fun" age :)
as long as you handle it correctly, yes it's just a phase.
Terrible two's is a myth. Terrible three's is what is the truth. As long as you are consistent like you say your are, then it will just be a phase. If you give in like my sister has, then you will have problems later in life.
