S., I have never been married, BUT I HAVE HAD MY SHARE! Been in a relationship for 3 yrs, and had similar issues. We were engaged, but seems like the ex wife kept popping up. And causing drama. They have two kids together, and were married for 17 yrs. DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA. I don't agree with anyone to tells you apologize to him. Apologize to the children. Afterall, what should you be sorry for. I feel as though when a man puts his foot down with any ex, that woman would not even think twice about sending emails like that, calling in the middle of the night or anything else. When a man entertains that type of behavior is when another woman feels as though it's ok be disrespectful like that. If he left then let him go. You can do bad all by yourself dear. I am the first one to understand how hard it is, and how much it hurts. I don't care with anyone that says its ok, its better to have someone and be miserable, than to be alone. Time and understanding heals all wounds. You have to seriously sit down and think about what's important to YOU, and not allow anyone to make that decision for you. If he comes back, will you trust him? Will beign apart for awhile give you all time to work things out, and mend issues? Are you just really fed up? I will tell you what has worked for me (in my relationship)
He use to threaten me with leaving,and would and I would break down and settle for the behavior I was unhappy with. I got tired. The last time we got into it, I allowed him to go and I didn't put a fight. I stopped all the games, and the going back and forth. I changed my locks, and left it alone. It burned me up so bad, and I cried for days. I was miserable. BUT THEN...A peace. I had peace. I have been holding onto that peace and he is doing a turn around. I stood my ground, when he expected the opposite. I guess he realized the grass is not always greener on the other side. It's still a work in the process months later, and I have not allowed him to some back except for the nights I work and he keeps the kids at my house. Even then, he is on the couch. Hope this helps...I wish you the best and I hope you find your way. And remember to pray for ANSWERS!