Up by Themselves

As so many moms have said, it is really the personality of the child that is the deciding factor. Luckily, my kids like to sleep in and I don't ever remember being woken up before 7 or later at least on the weekends! I am NOT a morning person either and love that my kids have been getting up on their own and watching tv or on the computer for several years now. They have quickly learned that once mommy is up, it is time for chores and tv is done, so they also cherish that morning time to themselves!

Hi S.!
Well, My almost 2.5 yr old has been getting up forever at 6:00, sometimes 5:30! Not what I want- esp with a 7 month old that I have been up with all night, but that is when he is awake. He will get up, come and wake me up. I usually will get his cereal and milk and then put on his learning program. He eats his breakfast at a little table in the living room and mom snoozes on the sofa, or starts doing some work on the computer. He will go and get a diaper in the morning, and lately has been opening the fridge. He will also peruse the top of the counter for any edibles that my husband may have left out on his way to work. Quite the mr. independent! ;)

My child is four and she can get cereal and milk for herself, turn on a cartoon, and play with her dolls for awhile til I get up on the weekends. Now we are not talking about me sleeping in til noon or anything, but something decent like 9am is reasonable--she likes to wake about 6:30am! Plus I am not really sound asleep, just don't want to get out of the bed. I put a small glass of milk in the fridge and put the cereal in the bowl, then she just has to pour the glass of milk on the cereal. We set the channel on the tv to nick jr, so she just has to hit the "on" button. Mine is very independent and is not the kind of kid to get into stuff. She has been getting up like this for about a year, and she never makes a mess or has gotten into anything. Plus I am two rooms away (we live in a one floor apt), I think it is totally fine. Yes, being with your kids is part of the job, but I am not a slave to them--its okay for them to play by themselves, they don't need to be entertained 24/7. Just my 2 cents

My boys have always been early risers. If I recall correctly, I started letting them be up on their own when they were 4 and 6 (they were always up together). I kept (and still do keep), dishes and cereal where they can reach them, and let them know what they can do (read or play in their room, maybe some tv, but no computer especially no internet). I am a light sleeper, and I hear a lot of what they are doing when they are up.
Of course, since they are together, if something happened, the other would come get me (as often as not, this was because "he pushed me," or "he's being mean" or whatever), but I guess I did feel like there is safety in numbers.

I guess the best answer is, you have to base it on your knowledge of your own child. Since she doesn't want to be up by herself, obviously you get up. If you need to rest on the couch, that's not a bad idea. And when you can see that she is starting to be a little more independent (and able to make some simple choices responsibly) you can let her be on her own a bit more.

My daughter is allowed to play quietly in her room, both right when we put her to bed, and in the morning when she gets up, before we do. She's almost 4. We have a gate up in the hallway so that the only rooms she can go into are ours, hers, and the bathroom if she has to go potty. She does not have a tv in her room, but she has a pretty good imagination.

Each child is different. My oldest is 5 and he has been getting up about an hour before me since he was about 4. He knows how to work the remote to find his cartoons or he'll just get all his Iron Man/Batman/Tranformers out and "feed them breakfast" (i.e. his toy food stuff). He knows where the cereal is and I leave a cup of milk in the fridge for him to drink (he likes his cereal dry but while drinking a glass of milk). I can honestly say that while I can generally hear pretty much everything he's doing, he's always been pretty good about not getting in to things he's not supposed to and if he's not sure he'll come ask. I can say that I'm guarenteed to find the area pretty messy when I get up, but know that its a small price to pay for a little extra sleep.

My girlfriend has a son the same age as mine and she often says that he's not trustworthy enough to leave alone in the morning. He's a climber and will be climbing his way in to dangerous situations in the blink of an eye. He just doesn't get that some things are not safe to do.

Two little ones....exact same age (by five days)....and VERY different personalities. You just have to go with your gut instinct. Your little girl sounds very safety minded and responsible though.

My son is 4 also. I just get up, give him some milk, turn on Mickey Mouse (we have 75 recorded on the DVR) and go back to bed. We taught him how to use the remote to FF through commercials so he takes it from there while I get a few more minutes of shut eye. :)

I think it depends so much on the child- as with all things. My 5 1/2 yr old is uber responsible and doesn't do anything he's unsure of w/o asking. He usually sleeps until around 7, but every now and then he's up early. Around 4 1/2, we gave him a clock in his room. He is allowed to play quietly in his room until 7am if he is up early. (We put this rule into play because sometimes he would wake up at 4am for no reason and figure it was time to get up and play. We explained to him that he needs his sleep and should really try to go back to sleep at those times. So, in the beginning the rule was that he wasn't allowed to get out of his bed until 7 - which was his normal wake up time - but could read quietly in it if he wanted to. This encouraged him to go back to sleep on those really early wake ups. Once he got into that habit, and was better able to read the clock, we changed it so that as long as it was after 6 he could play in his room. The no Living Room until 7 rule is because he's not very good at being quiet and would often accidentally wake his little brother up if he was playing there.) Once it is 7, he can come get us, or go out and watch tv or play w/ his toys in the living room. (We have a ranch, so the living room is just down the hall from our room.)
I used to set up a little snack for him in "his drawer" in the kitchen so he could sit on the couch and watch a cartoon w/ a little dry cereal or dried berries. (We would set the tv to the Disney Channel or Noggin the night before. He was only allowed to turn on the tv using the button on the set, not touch the remote - this way we knew he wouldn't accidentally flip to something that could be upsetting.)
Usually, I'm up once the tv goes on, but it buys me a few minutes to wake up peacefully instead of being shaken awake... which makes for a much happier Mommy! (I'm NOT a morning person.)
I don't really stay in bed too long after he is up, but I know my husband does some days when I work early.
We have a 2 yr old as well, and once he's up, we're all up. I'd never put the 5yr old in charge of the 2yr old w/o being fully awake and nearby. And, honestly, if things had been reversed, I'm don't think I'd have been able to let my second son up by himself at 4 1/2 (can't really say since he's not that old yet, but his personality is much more... um... adventurous!)

Long story short - My 4 1/2 yr old was ready to be up on his own for a short while with limitations. And with me w/in earshot down the hall. Another child (my second for examplt) may not be. Now that he is 5 1/2 he really is capable of funtioning on his own in the morning. And I do indulge in sleeping an extra 20 minutes or so sometimes. But, mostly, I miss him all week and look forward to my quiet mornings. So, I haven't tested the theory too much yet. (Not commenting on you not wanting to get up - I have those days too!)

It really depends on your child. If you trust that they will sit and watch something safe on TV for a little while or play in their room rather than try to escape or turn on stove burners or drown the cat, it's ok to let them be up without your constant eye. If you have doubts then it's best to get up with them. Making a bowl of cereal for them and then laying on the couch with one ear open is okay if you are comfortable with it. It's very child distinctive and really has nothing to do with age, that is my opinion.

We started teaching our oldest at around this age to pour himself a bowl of cereal and to figure out how to pop in a dvd. He thought being king of the castle for an hour on Saturdays was SWEET! Honestly, our house is so small. Only a dozen feet separated us and we could hear every noise he made.

But there were some mornings he still just wanted to crawl in bed with us and wait for us to get up with him and that was OK too. I miss that.

My youngest daughter is 4 and if she gets up early (6-6:30am) I turn on cartoons for her in our family room. She has no problem playing safely or watching cartoons for a bit until I get up at 7am. I have an older daughter who is 7. She will not play on her own or watch cartoons while I stay in bed a little longer. She never has. This is her personality. Luckily now that she is older she tends to sleep in on the weekends. :)

If your child can be trusted to safely play or watch tv on her own for a bit I don't see anything wrong with it. It teaches them a little independence.

I think it depends on the child. My oldest at 4/5 had no problem getting up and turning the tv on and he would come get me once he was hungry and wanted to eat but he has always had an independent personality. My youngest is 3.5 and once he is up he is all about mommy. If his brother is awake I can lay down on the couch and the two of them will play quietly on the weekend if I am not feeling well until Dad wakes up.

I have not read any of the other responses yet but I know at 5 and 6, my stepsons were fine getting up earlier than us, helping themselves to dry cereal, and watching cartoons until we got up. My DD is 3 and she gets me up pretty early (usually around 6:30 or 7 and it is still dark out at that time where we are). If she is adamant that I get up with her I will, because she wants juice and breakfast, but sometimes she's fine watching TV for a little while (15 or 20 minutes) until I wake up a little more (we put on Nick Jr. or PBS or Sprout or Disney the night before so all she has to do is push the button to turn the TV on). I think it depends on the child to some degree - I am lucky in that my DD will just hang out and watch TV, or play quietly with a toy or look at a book, and does not try to get into anything else (once I caught her trying to mess with the computer and once I told her not to do it again, she's been good about it). Expecting her to entertain herself for short periods of time is not going to hurt anything - it will encourage her independence and teach her that the world does not revolve around her.

That's a good question. My kids are 2 1/2, 3 1/2 and 5 and I don't think even my 5 year old could manage to get settled in in the morning without me. A lot of times the girls play in their rooms for 15-20 minutes in the morning and I'm fine with that because it's next to my room, but I wouldn't feel comfortable having them roam around downstairs in the kitchen while I'm upstairs sleeping. I don't even really rest on the couch when they are up. If I had to take a guess, I would say 2nd or 3rd grade?

I'm so glad you asked this! I was wondering the same thing today. This afternoon, our 3 YO would NOT take a nap. Baby sister was sleeping, and I was so tired, I almost fell asleep feeding her her bottle before I put her down. So when the older one wouldn't nap, I told her she could lie in bed with me and quietly read a book. After about 15 minutes, she said she wanted to get up. I was so tired! I told her she could watch TV downstairs. That's the first time I've left her alone. I was really nervous about it, but she's very independent and responsible for a 3 YO. And when I got up about 30 min later, she was fine. She even told me she had had some applesauce but not any candy. She'd gotten the candy out, but remembered she'd had some after lunch and put it back. So funny. Anyway, I agree with everyone who says it depends on the kid. And I wouldn't do it all the time, but it's probably a good way to test where they are in their maturity level to let them do it every once in awhile.

My friend has always let her kids up, the house is child proof and they are safe. The front door is bolted and the back door has a huge sliding screen and glass door so they would have a hard time getting outside. She says it's their home and they should feel like they can go anywhere or do anything. The kids are 7 and 9 and they cook their own snacks and can be independent if needed. They have always been mature too so maybe she has the right idea.

If you think your house is safe enough then I think she's old enough to be up and playing while you are in the home but where you can hear her.

My ex and his wife always to N that if he woke up and the lights weren't on then he could go to the bathroom but otherwise he could only play in his bedroom until someone woke up. They decided that when he was a preschooler at about 3 or 4.

In all places of our homes the kids bedrooms should be the most childproof of them all, the shelves bolted to the walls in studs, plug covers in the plugs or them behind furniture, no hanging items such as coat racks or anything like that, etc...they should be able to be in their rooms any time and safe.

But then again my 3 year old came running in a bit ago and yelled his TV was smoking and it had fire inside...it did. He had spit his chocolate milk into the grooves on top and shorted it out. I was in a totally different part of the house running the sweeper. Had he not told me our house might have burned down, and us in it.

Depends on the kid... And your house. My oldest is 3 and while we've never tried it, I think that he would do just fine with an hour or so alone. We just moved into a 1300 sqft apartment and I can tell everything that is going on. If you were talking about the 3000sqft home that we are trying to sell, I would say no way! He's independent. He will go potty, get his own apple sauce and cereal, spoon, open it, and turn on the tv. I've never let him do that while I was still in bed, but he will do it while I am getting baby ready in the morning. If he wakes up while I'm still in bed, I get the running into my room "Hi mom! It's wake up time.". Love my little guy!

I disagree with Nancy, sorry. I have had DFS at my house because my now 7yrs old thought it was ok to go out by herself at 3yrs. Dont get ME wrong I totally agree that 5 is toooooo young. But they told me that in the state of Missouri that they have no age limit on a child staying home by themselves even. As long as they do not pose harm. HA is said to that. I couldnt believe it. Even now I watch Jule like a hawk. and for that matter the rest of the neighborhood kids. Jule is 7 next week and she still will not get up by herself. So good luck with that.

Children's Division in the state of MO states that a child age 5 and under must be supervised at all times. That includes inside and outside the house. So, if he anything happens to your child while they are up and you are still sleeping it is possible for the courts to remove the child from your home.