What Is up with My 3 Yr Old??

Welcome to the 3's!!! I don't know why people make such a big deal over the "terrible twos" because the threes are WAY WORSE!!!! It's like the big secret of parenting that nobody wants to tell you - like it is the end of the latest movie and everyone has agreed to keep it a secret or something. When my daughter turned 3 I started reading tons of parenting books, attending classes, etc. because I thought my daughter was the only freak who suddenly became a crazy woman. Hang in there. Take some parenting classes and read books, they help - except not the one by James Dobson who advocates beating your child because they need to learn discipline. That one you can do without.

It's a stage. From about 2-5 years old, they go through 'drama' stages...it's a fickle age and they are getting more developed as far as emotions etc. There was a great article in the "Parents" magazine about it. They also get more precocious and emotional, per 'personality' type. Each child has their own personality and temperament. If medical problems, stress, or other things can be ruled out...I would just propose that it's one of those stages of development. Sometimes they just want attention... but it's also that they may just 'need' you more...and it gets expressed this way. 3 years olds can be 'moody' and have a different mood at the drop of a pin. They are changing so much physically and emotionally, and are on the cusp of being a 'big boy' but yet may still need to be a 'little boy.' Think of it as what teenagers go through...but on a smaller scale and related for THIS age. It's a time of change for them. Developmental changes. Try reading about age development... it really sheds light on these "phases." When my daughter was 3... and in preschool...all the parents commented on their kids acting this way too. You are not alone. Your boy is not the only one. He is not 'atypical' for his age. Sometimes, just comforting them or handling them in a calm manner can help, or just ignoring it so they don't always use it as an 'attention getter.' Each child is different. Sometimes they may even get 'sassier'... so beware for that too. They are changing...it's not always easy for them either. But, again, basic 'rules' of your household should be reinforced so they don't 'forget' to act 'civilized.' Ha, ha. Other phases will come up. But good luck!
~Susan
www.cafepress.com/littlegoogoo

Jamie~ He's not crying over the little things; those are just the last straws for him at the time, and he feels safe to express it in front of you. I would look into whether there is a recent change that is stressing him out. I would recommend refraining from the "nothing's wrong with you" comments; those will make him feel confused and misunderstood, because to him, something IS wrong. The best approach is to hold him and tell him you hear his frustration. Let him cry as long and hard as he needs to, with you standing calmly by. This is what will keep the imperative bond he needs with you; where ignoring, distracting, minimizing, punishing, etc., will break it. He may just need to get a good cry out, here and there - just like we adults need a release at times. It could just be a sign of a healthy child going through a new growth stage. And it could be a sign that something is wrong.

Take care,
J. Smithson
Loving Hands Learn 'n' Play
http://www.lhlearnandplay.com

It's normal...and all you have to do is ignore it. I work with children ages 2-3 and I get this kind of drama all day, and I just do not have the mental or emotional capacity do deal with it, so I ignore it and insist on being talked to normally, then I will help the child cope with whatever it is that she him or her off. I resort to ear plugs or my i pod because the screaming and crying can really get to you when you decide you will not respond to it any more. Eventually the child will realize that in order to get my attention and my attentiveness, they must speak to me without screaming and crying. If I didn't, they would scream at the drop of the hat....and I have 15 of them....good luck.

Oh thank goodness, it not just me!! My 3 1/2yo son is doing the exact same thing. We've tried EVERYTHING. He was never a whiner and a crier, but now he litterally melts into a puddle with every tiny transgression. The two things that "kinda" work is ignoring it and redirecting him. Sometimes, I just don't have it in me to work it through and let him cry it out (in his room). If you find anything that works for you please post. I'd love to get us over this stage.

Have you been spying on my household? I'm totally going through the same thing with my 3 year old boy. At least we both know now that we're not alone. Let us know if you come up with a trick that works!!!