Who Do You Go to for Advice (Besides Here!)

Updated on February 29, 2012
E.S. asks from Hackettstown, NJ
23 answers

Hi ladies:

I am wondering who your "go-to" person is for advice on jobs, relationships, or just general venting.

I get kind of sad because many of my relationships are conditional, and my friends usually text only so I kind of have to work things out in my own head--and boy it gets crowded in there!

I can talk to my husband but usually I like the female perspective. My sister usually avoids any conflict and my MIL is all about my DD.

That said, I thank you all for being here!

What can I do next?

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Featured Answers

J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

All my friends are guys so my husband will do. I don't want the "female" perspective, it doesn't make a darn bit of sense to me. :)

4 moms found this helpful

R.H.

answers from Austin on

My BFF gives it to me straight, no chaser. But, I think that this board is even better than her opinion because you all seem to give it straight too. Sometimes you give it so straight that the Mamapedia police get on you--but I think that is a bunch of bull (as in policing this board). Give it straight--I can take it!

3 moms found this helpful

More Answers

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M.P.

answers from Portland on

I seem to have out lived the ones I would go to. Now I rely on my journaling. I find that when I write out my thoughts that ideas come to me and I'm often able to figure things out or the vent gets my angst out of my head.

I do have a counselor that I go to when I'm unable to work it out for myself.

I talk with my cousin about money matters. He also listens sometimes when I need to vent.

I had one friend with whom I exchanged e-mails. It was like an extension of my journaling. She would then send back her thoughts that I added to mine.

3 moms found this helpful

C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

my best friend of 35 years - without her - I would be, urgh, lost!!
my husband.
my dad.
my sister!!

2 moms found this helpful

A.M.

answers from Kansas City on

Depends on the issue or question at hand.

Most everything my husband. He's the calm, sensible one. I am the erratic, sensitive one.

My best friend since I was sixteen if it has to do with my family, my husband.

You guys and gals! for anything else.

2 moms found this helpful
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M.G.

answers from Kansas City on

I know what you are saying. I don't call my girlfriends much, we e-mail back and forth but those are fairly short.

I don't have a solution, I'm just saying I know where you are coming from.

M.

2 moms found this helpful
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R.J.

answers from Salt Lake City on

My sisters or my brothers, my Step Mom if it about cooking or cleaning, my BFF of 25 years for venting and daily frustrations.

1 mom found this helpful
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B.W.

answers from Washington DC on

Ususally, it is my sister. Anytime I vent about my job or something like that, my DH takes it on as he has let me down that I still have to work. That is a tough place to go so I try to avoid it. Bottling it up usually which totally stinks but like you, I don't have many folks. My work people are kind of dramatic so I just keep to myself.

1 mom found this helpful
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D.T.

answers from Muncie on

For parenting...the "mothers". His is a good woman, raised 4 kids till college is raising #5 and doing well. Mine raised 3, her own 2 and one half child since 4 year old. My mother is also an OBGYN nurse.

On marriage..the parents. Both his and mine have been married forever and look like they're going to be that way for even longer.

As for work...SAHM, I don't have anyone really. I can't drive so we don't go too far from home and I'm a transplant and didn't go to college. The ladies my husband's college friends married are as close as I get. One wasn't legal to drink at her own wedding, one is an "one up" type of personality and another is raising tweens. Good gals in their own right, but not BFF material.

1 mom found this helpful
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K.P.

answers from Seattle on

It depends on the situation.

But I can go to my husband, and sister for anything and they help me with anything I need. I also go to my mom on a lot of things too.

It just depends lol.

1 mom found this helpful
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K.P.

answers from New York on

My mom in all things. I talk to my husband about pretty much everything, but he tends to just listen. My mom will give me an honest opinion and good advice and then check-in to see how everything went. I usually don't go to my friends with things that are overly important or personal. I know that they would happily listen, but I know that their lives are very busy as well and I don't want to burden them with my "stuff"!

1 mom found this helpful

B.S.

answers from Lansing on

My SIL is my first go to person. My dad is second...I work with him and he is an awesome listener. :) Then I also have my friends from high school - but we don't see each other often nor talk on the phone so its usually through email. And I also have a friend I met when our daughters started preschool. Its a mixture of all those people or some of them depending on the info.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.M.

answers from Dallas on

I'm right there with you. I have seemed to have grown away from my girlfriends. We still have a girl's night out a few times a year, but in between there ins't much communication. It gets crowded in my head too!

1 mom found this helpful
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N.W.

answers from Eugene on

Thanks goodness for girlfriends. There are just some things you can't telll a man, and some things you'd better not tell your mom.

My best friend is the most compassionate person I know. She's a good listener and loves me no matter what. We plan to check ourselves into adjoining rooms in a nursing home when the time comes.

I also meet with another friend once a week for support and accountability. We've had similar trauma in our lives and can help eachother with ongoing issues and healing. She asks me the hard questions, and is unflinching in calling me on my stuff when I'm being pathetic or rationalizing my problems. I can call her anytime I need advice.

One of my sisters also gives great advice. She's busy, but will talk with me when I need her. She's also someone I can trust with the truth.

I'm 55 and haven't always had friends like this. Now that I do, I wish I'd made finding these kinds of relationships a priority when I was younger. They literally can change your life, and these women have changed mine for the better.

1 mom found this helpful

N.G.

answers from Dallas on

I go to my husband, my Mom, or my good friend at work who is 60 years old. All three of them offer unique perspectives that usually help me reach solutions.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.K.

answers from Kansas City on

I have a friend at work, who is a friend outside of work as well. She is the best listener, and I tell her most everything, and she always knows just what to say. I think you should have at least one person in your life like that, since lots of people only do text, and only call you when THEY want to call you. Hope you find someone.

1 mom found this helpful

K.G.

answers from Boca Raton on

My best friend, my neighbor (also a good friend) and my husband...

1 mom found this helpful
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K.F.

answers from New York on

Hands down, God, then my husband.

1 mom found this helpful
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L.S.

answers from Spokane on

My mom and dad, MIL and FIL, cousin, sisters, friends....but mostly my husband (unless it's *about* my husband! lol)

1 mom found this helpful
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☆.A.

answers from Pittsburgh on

My mom, my husband, either of my older brothers, or my BFF since birth. Those are the people that know me best.
(Know what ya mean about a female perspective, and sometimes men --husbands and brothers---just focus on solving the problem a hand!)

1 mom found this helpful
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M.C.

answers from Detroit on

I have my BFF. I thank God for her everyday...she keeps me sane:)

1 mom found this helpful
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C.M.

answers from Omaha on

My go to person is the BF.

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❤.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

For me, it's my friends!

Do you have any cousins?

Do you have lovely neighbors you trust?

Do you love your hairdresser? Can you talk to her while she cuts your hair?

I enjoy mamapedia.

Hubbies are good for some things.

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