Why Can't I Control Her Little Body?????!!!!!!

Tuck and stroll. Tuck and stroll. Tuck her in and stroll out the door.

Sitting there J. added fuel to her fire.

I remember this. :-)

Go to the bookshelf, grab a PILE of books, and tell her she can read until she's tired, but it's bedtime and NOT talk-time. Tell her she is to stay in bed.

My boys spent several nights falling asleep among a pile of books. I'd J. go in and shut off the light eventually.

ETA: I never stayed in their room until they got sleepy. That's definitely a habit you need to get away from. And she cries to get you to stay....wow. Not good.

Our bedtime routine is short and sweet. Baths, pajamas, quick story, tuck-in, 3 lullabies, prayers, kiss goodnite, I leave the room. 99% of the time they go right to sleep and I don't see them again until sunrise. If my son is extra talkative, I don't feed it by answering his endless stream of questions. I J. say, "Goodnite Matthew, we can talk about that in the morning." He very rarely remembers to ask M. again in the morning.

Why didn't you J. put her in her room and walk away? If she's old enough to know who the President is, she's old enough to fall asleep on her own...

I have a son who very occasionally does a couple pop-ups. I have two simple things I say to him. The first is about M.:"I see that you want to talk and I would love to talk with you tomorrow morning. I have spent good Mommy time with you and now, I'm going to do some things for M.. I'm done doing mommy stuff today. Goodnight." The second is "You may look at books in here quietly. Do not come to get M. unless you are bleeding or or throwing up." (Obviously, if he's sick, he'll call...)

When I'm furious with my son, yes, taking myself to a different space is necessary. Or if I can't move what I'm doing, "I need you to go play in your room now because you are not (leaving M. alone, listening to my words, etc.) Do not come out until I come and get you."

I do slip up sometimes and yell. Despite some of the touchy-feely philosophies around raising kids--which I do respect for the most part, I do believe at some point and at a certain age, kids need to know when their actions are obnoxious. We aren't doing them any favors to be 'cool' about their being a momentary full-on PITA. I wouldn't yell at my son when he was a toddler, but now at five when I'm at the end of a long day and yet.another.toy comes racing into the kitchen while I'm cooking dinner (and he *knows* the no-toys-in-mamas-kitchen rule), I have been heard to shout "if any cars come in here again, they are going into the trash can!"

We're all human, right? ;)~

Well, our bedtime routine is the same every day, and if she isn't tired enough, she's allowed to read quietly in her bed (she has a little lamp by the bed) or play quietly in her bed, but if I can hear her outside her room (her door is never shut, J. pulled to) she's being too loud. I never stay in with her after we tuck her in, she puts herself to sleep.

When/if my kids get like that.... what I do is:
I put myself to bed.
I turn off EVERYTHING in the house, I brush my teeth, put on my jammies, and I tell the kids "MOMMY is going to bed. Be quiet. You cannot turn anything on or make noise. No talking, don't wake M. up, or I will be MAD." Then I walk off, I go and get in bed. (but I am keeping my ears/eyes open. They don't know that).

Then my kids are sitting there.in.the.dark. and a bit pensive because Mommy was growling, and they know it is because, they were not settling down, and I was fed up.

Then, I hear them... tip toeing and getting themselves ready for bed, brushing teeth, tucking themselves in. And being quiet. And they, fall asleep.

My kids are 5 and 9.

At 5yo? Yeah, shut the door and walk away. Let her listen to music or an audiobook. She's definitely old enough for you to let her fall asleep alone. If she gets up, don't talk to her, J. lead her back to bed and leave the room. Lather rinse repeat. No need to get mad, in fact the less emotion you show the better.

Maybe she wore the inlaws out and THEY needed a nap!

Funny story!!

Hope you got some sleep, finally!

Dawn

That sounds like chaos.

I'd 1) cut out sugar in her diet. at least all sugar after lunch.
2) no movies at bed time. movies at bed time can keep their little minds restless.
With my kids they are in bed by 730 then they have an hr of reading time before lights out. My daughter who is my hyperactive one has a sleep mask. and listens to music. I have been known to walk out of the room while the questions are still coming never answering them. J. telling her that now is not the time for questions its bedtime.
If she can write you can give her a notebook and have her brain dump onto the notebook. Write all those questions down for in the morning.
For us bedtime is BEDTIME. they can read or write stories for an hr , sometimes longer if we're feeling generous and it's not a school night. other than that nothing else.

yes it's best J. to not answer and walk away.

When I am dog gone tired and my kids want to keep going....I plead with them and tell them Mom is tired. I say I don't care if you J. lay here or even if you want to LOOK at a book. I am tired and really don't want to hear a peep out of you. PLEASE let mommy go to bed.

In all honesty this usually does the trick. But it never works unless I am truly going to bed myself. :)

5pm naps are NEVER good. My IL's used to let this happen too. Also my mom is famous for letting my kids stay up to the wee hours then sleep in really late. Ugh...gotta love grandparents!

We all slip once and a while. I've always said if I ever figured out a way to build a snooze button into children, I would not only be rich but WORSHIPPED. LOL

If she's 5, you firmly say bedtime and GOODNIGHT. If she has a fit from it, oh well. lights out, in bed, door closed.

BTW, if a kid IS really frazzled, I have given them naps later in the day. Sometimes you J. need a little nap, and you may think it screws up everything, but if they sleep right away at nap time then obviously they need it.

I have a friend that uses melatonin with her kids. I never have, but it is supposed to be very safe.

hee!
poor wore out mama!
yes, sometimes i slipped up and yelled. not proud of it. i had lots of less-than-stellar mom moments, though. wish MP had been around when i had littles!
that being said, you are partly responsible here. having an endlessly curious busy quester for the answers to the world, the universe and everything is AWESOME. but there is really no need for you to be in her room with her while she's winding down. especially if you're already at the tipping point. for heaven's sake, kiss the child goodnight, give her a book, tell her you'll be back later to turn out the light, and go take a bubble bath.
even the most devoted mommies need a break. and if you can't actually get out and away, teach your child NOW that she has to back off sometimes. you'll be doing both of you a favor.
tomorrow you'll be ready to take on the million questions again!
:) khairete
S.

I think we all slip up and yell at times when we're at the end of our rope. :) That being said, when my little one can't/won't go to sleep, she's allowed to "rest" instead of "have to go to bed NOW."

Like many of the moms below, I give her a pile of books and her normal stuffed animals. She's not allowed out of her bed (unless to go potty), but she can amuse herself until she's ready to sleep. She must be quiet (no yelling questions or for mom/dad through the door), but we tell her it's because we don't want to wake her baby sister up (which is also true).

Tell her she has great questions and you'd love to discuss it with her tomorrow but that you have to have some mommy time (or need to get XYZ done).

Wait... you stay in her room until she falls asleep? And she cries to keep you there (or J. yells)? Honey, you've put your five year old in charge. Of course she wants you to stay and listen to her talk when she has too much energy. But next time, how about telling her to quietly read a book until she falls asleep?

J. to give you an example: my five year olds climb in bed, I read two chapters of a book, and then it's lights out, mom shuts the door, and NO MORE TALKING!! If they're super wound up they quietly play with stuffed animals on their beds, read books, or lie there thinking. They're not perfect... but when mom closes the door, that's it. From start of bedtime routine to M. leaving, it's maybe 10 minutes. No stress, no fuss. J. a routine.

Sounds like the grandparents need to be told that naps end at 2pm (or whatever), and no more stimulating movies before bed. Maybe cut out the sugar and caffeine too! =)

I have >---< this much patience at night. Somehow I managed to convince my children at a very early age that you do not under any circumstance mess with M. at bedtime. I don't remember ever screaming, yelling, fussing, spanking - but I J. didn't play in to it one bit. And it's not because I'm super mom - it's because my body works that way. I'm energetic in the morning, and it leaks out through the day and by night time (early) - I'm drained and J. can't do it anymore. I never did the lay with the kids thing, No sleeping with M., no one million questions, no multiple trips to the potty, no more than one book, and they always had a glass of water by their beds. And it wasn't because I wanted to train them, it was because I was DONE by the end of the day, and they knew it. LOL! I know that night time routines are a precious, bonding experience, but my kids got the precious bonding elsewhere!

Pretty funny in retrospect. I have a toddler so I don't have any advice. If it's any comfort, I did this to my husband the other night. Not nearly as cute but I was wired and in dire need of entertainment/distraction/company. Pillow talk turned into a lengthy discussion of absolutely nothing. When he started closing his eyes, I got the hint even though I still wasn't sleepy. You can comfort yourself knowing self control gets better with age for the most part.

My cure for kindergartener insomnia is to get mom and kid in the car and start driving south. I mean, you could go any direction, but from where I live, Rte. 27 S happens to be a straight drive with very few neon signs or anything distracting. I've sometimes brought some ice water along, to keep the driver (M.) awake.

I really wanted to respond, though, to say wow! You have an unbelievably smart little girl. She's doing *multiplication* at 5? That's fantastic!

Have a great day,

Mira

My 9yo son is on meds that give him insomnia.

For the first 6 months he couldn't get to sleep until somewhere between 2am & 6am IF he was as to sleep at all (we had a lot of 36 hour 'days').

I was EXHAUSTED.

No... I didn't yell / get angry, because it wasn't his fault, but boy oh boy was I tired. I mean reeeeeeeeally tired.

Have you tried a "Dream Lite?" (LOL)