Why Does the Nastiness Continue?

Because people post things like "why does the nastiness continue" as a passive agressive way of continuing the nastiness.

I think it's shock more than anything. The polls and the media have been telling democrats for months that Clinton was going to win. She didn't. People can't believe it. But, I haven't seen nastiness. Mostly I've seen shock (along the lines of OMG, what just happened) followed by sadness and acceptance, along with a dose of fear from my friends who fall into any of several minority groups in terms of race, sexual orientation, or citizenship status.

I just find it funny that as the First Lady, his wife's platform will be cyberbullying and she's married to the biggest bully of them all.

W. W.,

Over the years I have appreciated so many of your posts and your responses on this site. I truly appreciate your wisdom when it comes to kids and parenting, and I have let you know that. I believe that you have a good family and wonderful kids. However, when it comes to political nastiness, you have to admit that your political posts have been among the most vitriolic on this site.

In many respects you are a reasonable person. So now that your party has the complete control it has been craving for decades, it would be nice if you would stop the insults. You say "why does the nastiness continue," yet the nastiest words from anyone in Tadpole's feed, and in numerous previous posts, came from you.

We who are saddened by the results of this election hope and pray that your party does not now actually violate many of our civil rights, as it has long been threatening to do, or destroy the planet by allowing unregulated big business to run amok while continuing to funnel most of the money to the top .01%, as Republican policies tend to do.

I really hope that much of the heinous Republican rhetoric I have been forced to stomach for the last decade is replaced with reason, now that your party finally got its way.

It isn't just that the most qualified person to ever run for president lost.

It's that an unqualified, hateful, manipulative, xenophobic misogynist was just elected to the highest office of what should be the greatest, most inclusive and most progressive nation on earth.

He's not my president. I will never support him. I will not be gracious and let my children think that it's OK that a country full of ignorant, hateful, small-minded people rewarded his horrible views and behavior with the most powerful position in our country. I will fight him and everything he believes in every step of the way until he is out office and we can return our country back to what it can and should be.

He is not worthy of us, and never will be. So no, there won't be healing. And I am proud to be nasty.

The other day, I asked a question about "how do you laugh" in an effort to distract myself and others from the sword of Damocles of an election. (or maybe Scylla and Charibdis, not sure)...

You took the time to make an answer which included "HilLIARY", which you have been doing for the last several months. It wasn't pertinent to the question, just something you must have felt compelled to throw in, even when no one else broached the subject.

Please, reflect on your own actions before scrutinizing others and asking them to explain theirs.

Per your SWH: yes, you are right, you have been nasty about Hillary for the last 18 months (moreso in terms of President Obama; over the last 8 years, you insulted the people who voted for him, openly calling those voters stupid, any of that ring a bell? I've seen the word "libtard" bandied about as well and "liberal" used as a slur) . So, now that you are done being nasty, you expect everyone else to follow suit and be all sunshine and kittens? Seriously?

can't comment. every one i know is still in shock.. or in the bathroom vomiting.

ETA: You asked the question. You got answers, most of which you did not like. Instead of accepting different opinions, as you are always quick to demand of others when they get answers they do not like, you launched into a defensive, hateful diatribe. It is this kind of hypocrisy that stands out---not who you vote for or what platforms you support. That's your right as an American. No one denies you that. But when you ask why the nastiness continues, and then you continue to perpetuate it in your responses, I think you have your answer. When it comes to politics, I would think we would have learned here that there is always going to be a wide variety of opinions. It will always be that way, and we're not going to change anyone. Sure, we all have the right to free speech, but wise people know how and when to use those words for good, not for stirring up trouble. Peace to you, WW. We all have to live in this great country together.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ORIGINAL:
It continues because there are some people who can never show any grace or maturity in their response to things not of their liking.

Just one example:
For the last few years, every time you talk about our current president, you spell his name with the numeral zero instead of the letter "O," and with very few exceptions, whenever you write about Secretary Clinton, you spell her name HilLIARY. And now you want to feign surprise and pretend that "nastiness" is just coming from the Clinton supporters?

You can't really believe that the intelligent women on this board would allow this pretense to go unnoticed and unchallenged, could you?

I've "known" you for many years here, W., and I know that you know better.

You can find examples of animosity and divisiveness on both sides. Our leaders, both democratic and republican, have called for unity. We should heed that call.

No, my FB feed has been full of sadness, love and support.
I'm glad my family and friends are nothing like yours. It must be hard living with all that negativity.

You're not exactly being a gracious winner. It's not even noon, and you're already criticizing the candidate that lost. She lost. It's done. You don't need to rub it in her or anyone else's face.

Let those of us who aren't happy about the results have a chance to mourn before criticizing.

ETA - I'm just saying, you're being nasty!

For goodness sakes, she didn't address the crowd because it was ridiculously close in multiple states. You don't give a concession speech until it is completely done and no other paths are available. In this particular case, being that she won the popular vote in the end, she couldn't do that.

Hey, I really like you, but you're definitely one of the more politically aggressive posters on here. It's going to take people some time - Republicans still refuse to work with Obama after 8 years (still refuse even to vet his SC nominee with more than a year left in his presidency?). You want Democrats to "get over it" in less than 24 hours? The President Elect has been rude and nasty to a lot of people in the campaign. Maybe you need to teach him the words to Kumbaya instead...

Good luck and God help you.

I believe by editing your "So What Happened?" you were trying to prove that liberals are mean? Or maybe that the posters below have been mean to you? I'm not quite sure.

You might not realize it, but you come across as one throwing a tantrum.

When you use a "zero" to spell Obama and when you say Obama(doesn't)care, you look pathetic. It doesn't make you seem, intelligent or creative or like you are trying to make a statement, it makes you look like a baby.

This post was always your way of saying, "Heh, heh, we won, you lost!'' Stop trying to pretend it was anything other than that.

You might be correct about one or two of your actual political points below, but that's completely buried by your pettiness.

It's just as important to be a good winner as it is to be a good loser. You've been neither one.

After your SWH: I suggest your expanded post and expanded SWH illustrate why the nastiness continues. I suggest that you will have an answer when you know why the initial question, "why does the nastiness continue" became a defense of your choices that resulted in others defending their choices.
*************************
I'm surprised that anyone would expect a sudden change in the way they acted for month's, years or a lifetime. Anger, doesn't disappear overnight after a major long term fight. Healing takes time spent in working respectfully together.

When you have an unresolved fight with someone during which you call each other names do you wake up the next morning thinking that, after all they're a nice guy, they didn't really mean those things, so you're no longer angry?

I thought Hillary's speech was gracious. She did thank others for their support in a more inclusive way than the actual words, thank you, would have said.

I am worried about the direction politics is taking. When I was young my parents complained about dirty politics. When I compare Presidential races then with what happened this year, those races were clean. Back then, candidates were beginning to talk more about their opponent's weaknesses.than about their own strengths. Still they were respectful in ways we haven't seen in years. This campaign felt to me much like junior high kids fighting. Kids do not mature overnight. Neither do the immature politicians.

It seems to me that more and more people believe that calling other's nasty names and assuming to know the other person's intent is the way to win. How does one heal from that level of animosity?

I suggest that if a marriage involved this level of anger and animosity,.the marriage would come to anger end in anger n acromonious divorce. Do those relationships ever heal?

Well, not nasty, exactly, but unnecessary gloating ...

You're not just asking an honest question. Be honest with yourself. Would you really have been in a healing mood if Hillary had won?

I'm sorry that I'm not in a "healing" place right now, but it's going to take a few days (maybe weeks) for this sick feeling in my stomach to go away.

i'm surprised too. the outcome surprised me, and while some of my liberal and progressive friends are posting hateful, furious, brokenhearted emotions, most are simply stunned and trying to pull themselves together.
most of my conservative friends are gloating. i'm happy that a few are expressing positivity and reaching out. not many, but some.
the nastiness continues because some are poor losers, and a LOT are awful winners.
it'll certainly be interesting to see how it unfolds.
ETA look at the title of the 'question.' now look at the SWH. it would be funny if it weren't so pathetic.
khairete
S.

No, I have not encountered nastiness. I teach in a very blue school in a very red state and have many anxious, shocked high school students today. They do not know how I voted, however many of them can guess.

A friend of mine posted a quote that I find comforting.

"We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope." -Martin Luther King, Jr.

Agree with JB, and feel very strongly that Trump is just a layman with rigid and old fashioned views of the society; it is so disappointing that this guy got elected; In a room full of presidents world wide, he will likely be the least refined (or the only so unrefined). Sorry if this means I am not gracious. But let me just say that I saw zero graciousness in Trump's speeches throughout the campaign. He is crude and unkind.

I have not seen any nastiness from MY side. Lol. But a lot of disbelief, disgust, and anger.
I am just happy that I live in Washington state where most of our citizens are NOT Trump supporters.
And can you really be surprised if people ARE being nasty? I mean...that's the whole campaign that Trump ran. And somehow, middle America voted that sexist, bigoted, pig of a man into the presidency.
I have never been so upset by an election. You know....in previous elections if the Republican had won, I would have been a little saddened that my candidate didn't win.....but with this election I am full on mad. WTH?

I didn't respond yesterday because I was exhausted from being up all night watching the coverage. No, I hadn't encountered nastiness, just shock and disappointment in the four hours since Donald Trump gave his speech at 3 am. Secretary Clinton's timing for her speech was perfect and her call for unity, acceptance and support was great. You didn't expect much from her but that really shouldn't have been a surprise to you. If the outcome had been different, I don't think we would have seen the graciousness since Trump on the day before the election he said that if he lost he would have stomped off and considered it a waste of time.

I think anyone who is surprised that people aren't feeling all warm and fuzzy and embracing about a Trump presidency should really reflect back on how President Obama was treated from Day One. Mitch McConnell said Republicans had to focus immediately on making him a one-term president. The Tea Party formed within only a few months of him taking office and questioned his legitimacy as President. Trump himself was one of the leading proponents of birtherism, challenging the fact that Obama was born in the US. Republican leaders refused to consider his extremely moderate choice for Supreme Court Justice and didn't even hold a hearing - something that has never before happened in US history. Personally, I found it all rather disgusting - many people didn't give Obama the first chance. Now those same people want everyone to be so immediately accepting of Trump. I was taught the golden rule - treat others as you want to be treated yourself. Unfortunately, in politics, that rule is increasingly ignored in favor of party.

I guess nastiness is in the eye of the beholder. The FB posts which I have read from my left-of-center friends have been mournful and apprehensive. I have NOT seen what I perceive as nastiness. Healing...that can only happen when we get some confidence that the vulnerable people whom we know and care about will not be harmed. Please understand that some communities--made up almost entirely of good people who contribute a great deal to our nation--have REAL, VALID concerns for their security and safety based on statements which Trump has made and have been endorsed by a substantial number of people in this country through votes. I absolutely agree that the temper of the conversation on both sides for the past year has shown an unwillingness to even try to listen to each other, much less understand or work together. That has been been really disheartening. Healing would be nice. It is going to require willingness to understand OTHERS' views as well, however, not just the 'losing side' submits to the 'winning' one.

I was hoping that today our country could start healing too. And then - Hillary lost. So, I guess it might take a little longer for the healing stuff.

ETA: I certainly don't aim to be "nasty" and I don't discuss political-related topics very often (or ever, on this site). But last night was a long night and things just need to settle down a bit more before we can direct our energy into moving forward together.

ETA: And really, "InMy30s..." you suggest that HRC is a "wee bit of an alcoholic"??? Based on what? Those kinds of insults and suppositions based on NOTHING denigrate the entire process.

Original answer: I think every political campaign is difficult because one side's dreams are dashed. A lot of people worked hard, knocking on doors and making calls and traveling to other states to try to make this country better. When candidates at every level (President, Senate, Congress, Governor...and so on) lose, there is a natural mourning and stock-taking that occurs. Whenever someone suffers a tragedy of any kind, it doesn't help to rub it in or tell them what was wrong with their position or tell them to get over it. When someone dies, we don't go to the people hurting the most and saying, "You're better off without that person" or "Snap out of it" or "Move on." You let them hurt, and you don't tell them they aren't handling it well or they are too angry. While there are many who said politics isn't like losing a family member or friend to death, it's essential to understand how very personal this is, and how much many people feel their future is at stake (on all sides).

The nastiness on both sides will end when people stop fomenting it. Everyone should acknowledge what they could have done differently in this most vicious of campaigns, and by that I don't just mean the candidates but most especially the supporters. Some of that means "Could I have spent one less hour on FB and one more hour engaging with voters?" or "Could I have stopped talking about it on Mamapedia and made some phone calls or knocked on doors in favor of my candidate rather than badmouthing the opponent?" So, before I tell anyone else to stop being nasty, I'm going to go back and look at anything I said that could have been kinder, gentler, or less pointed. I suggest you do the same.

One of the things we used in my school was THINK. Before saying something, decide if it is:
T - TRUE
H - HELPFUL
I - INSPIRING
N - NECESSARY
K - KIND

Unless a statement or remark or opinion meets ALL of those criteria, it's going to cause problems.

I have not seen any nastiness...just people expressing sadness, shock and disbelief which is how I feel. I have seen people posting about how they are afraid for their african american muslim sons. I have seen people posting they do not know how to break the news to their young daughters. I have seen people posting about the little hispanic boy in their child's class is afraid and crying. I have seen an outpouring of love and support back to them. So mostly I have seen shock, sadness, and love and support. HIlary's speech was just as I expected it would be. Obama's speech was also classy and calling people to remember we are all one country and we must come together. I just really hope the Republicans do good things for our country. I have seen zero nastiness from my friends and family.

I haven't experienced nastiness. I've experienced the following:

From my friends who have family in the Ukraine: Fear that Trump will allow Putin to overrun their country and slaughter any resistance.

From my friends who practice the Islamic religion: Fear that if they were traditional religious garments, they will be assaulted on the street.

From my women friends: Fear that sexist and demeaning comments which have long been considered "unprofessional" will now be dismissed as "just locker room talk."

I have voted Democratic, I have voted Republican. I try to consider my votes carefully and vote for the person for President who best represents the ideals and principles on which our country was founded: Respect for the individual and individual differences.

I hold great respect for the Office of the President. I hope that anyone who holds that office respects the people...all the people...as well.

EDIT: For Diane B. Since you asked, not sure if you are aware we have a plethora of her and her staffs emails and amongst them is one where she herself is telling her daughter she thinks she might need help and might be an alcoholic. So that was my first clue. That came out awhile back. More recently we have an extensive collection of exchanges from her staff emails asking who's gonna go sober her up for her upcoming event and such & the mention of the "napping" was obviously code for passed out in one, why else would they themselves put the quotes around the napping & be using the words getting her 'sober' in the same conversations? That might be a another clue...

Not trying to be nasty in any way, I do truly believe she just might be a wee bit of an alcoholic and my guess is she hit the bottle too hard when she saw the trend not going her way. I agree it was odd that she didn't bother. She did sound the best she's ever sounded in her speech this morning, so good for her.

My stoopid FB feed is full of hate and spewing of racism & a lot of shock & weirdness.

I don't get it. She is a creature criminal,they really thought she'd win, talk about being out of touch, where have these people been?!

I'm juts so thankful we are not relieving a hanging chad fiasco, that was icky!!!

It was a nasty, divisive election. People are not going to wake up 5 hours later, hold hands and sing Kumbaya. Give it time. I told my son winners shouldn't gloat today and losers shouldn't whine, but it's human nature. Hopefully some peace will kick in as time passes. But there will also always be people out there like JB that will never find any good in our new president or the people that voted for him. Again, human nature.

I have people telling me I'm wrong for not supporting a W. who will continue the policies of the black president. Umm, what?? I voted for Trump because he has DIFFERENT policies than what we've been stuck with the last 8 years.

This board is greatly divided on politics, and that's okay...but seriously? Race? Gender? Is that why people vote? If that's the case, send some little kids up there and let them fix us!

And if it had gone the other way I'm sure there would have been some Trump supporters who would have been VERY nasty since 3AM. This election seemed to dwell on the negatives of each candidate instead of the positives so people were extremely vested in their choice.

I think once the dust settles we'll pick up the pieces and move on. Should be interesting to see if Trump delivers on. He made a lot of promises but as always its just politicians talking until we see things change.

I'm not going to gloat because honestly I'm shocked. Thrilled but shocked. As for some of the posters below, how sad.

I remember when Obama won. I was told basically to sit down and shut up. Elections have consequences and my candidate lost so too bad so sad. I will NOT do that in return.

I might not have liked Obama but I never said he wasn't my president. I never called his supporters the names I have seen on this thread. We all come from different backgrounds and have different perspectives. However, I will never call anyone the types of names I have been called because I supported Trump. That is not how I am and honestly, I am better than that.

I do understand the despair and fear. I felt that 8 years ago. I am hoping that President Elect Trump will be able to bring some needed relief to our middle class, hardworking citizens. Give him a chance, don't give him a change that is a decision only each of us can make. But manners do matter. Be respectful everyone!!!!

There is still a long road of healing (and fixing) in front of us. It is long over due that we all stand together as Americans and stop labeling each other.

Trump has been saying all along that he is for Americans and since he is NOT a politician I truly believe that he wants all of us to live the American dream. Which is why I voted for him. I would also never vote based on gender, color, religion, etc., that is so un-American.

I haven't encountered any nastiness, but I haven't left the house either.

WOOT! WOOT!! Lady on the Trump Train here!

I live close to the Mexican border. VERY HAPPY that Trump says he'll stop illegal immigration!

Since this isn't facebook, I see what your SWH is long. Sorry others can't see that.
I too am saddened by the venom that is being spewed here.

Yes. Your question was too soon. I don't see you as gloating or ungracious. I see a lot of sore losers. That's really sad.

I am glad the election is over. I don't think our country is full of ignorant, hate filled people. That's not what I see at all. I think very few people thought this would be the outcome.

I am praying for our nation. I want to treat others as I want to be treated.

I'm laughing at the lack of tolerance and maturity that is being shown in this thread by many from the "other side".

I don't have facebook. I don't twitter. I don't snapchat. I don't do any social media, but this site. I'm sorry you have experienced nastiness. It speaks volumes about the person, just as it does here in this thread.

To read some of these comments? I am saddened by the very same people that call for tolerance and acceptance spewing hate and ignoring all the vile things that Hillary has done and said. She was not a victim. She was not innocent. She spewed hate and divisiveness over the last 8 years. Yes. I said 8 years.

I am reminded that back in 2008, Hillary asked if Obama was a US Citizen. How quickly people forget.

I am reminded that Obama (by the way, Tyler laughs when he reads your posts with 0bama) stated that Hillary would say anything to get their votes back in 2008. Was he lying then or now?

I am reminded that Hillary has lied. Lied about landing under sniper fire. Lied about being dead broke. She and Bill stole from the White House and their administration did a lot of damage to the building and residence before they moved out (glued doors shut, hammers in walls like it was an oops and so much more).

I didn't want Hillary. I didn't want Trump. I'm very happy that Hillary didn't win. I can breathe a sigh of relief.

I watched Trump's acceptance speech. It was very Presidential.
I watched Hillary's concession speech. It was better than I expected.

Was your question too soon? Most likely. Unfortunately, you are seeing how intolerant people that scream for tolerance in this thread. That's pretty sad and pathetic.

I can't say how many of my friends are so upset. Others are cheering from the rooftops. American has spoken and picked Trump. I'm just glad that it's over and tomorrow we'll have some other disaster or news story to take our focus.

Heck yes I have gotten lots of nastiness. Others have been conspicuously quiet and not calling me because they cannot gloat as they though they could. By the way, I gloated to no one about this as no one knows yet if he will be a good leader or not.