Worst Mother in the World?

A. - we were all first time mothers at some point and it didn’t matter how old we were! Those little babies would be so much easier if they came with instructions but they don’t! I commend you for choosing to be a mom no matter the circumstances. Stick with it and it will get easier! Blessings.

Had to respond. I had my child at 41 and felt like I knew nothing about being a Mom. It gets better. My child is seven now. It still is a learn as you go along program. It is always something. For me now, it is trying to get my child to understand addition, and to learn to ride a bike.

He's 2 months! Lots of time to learn. There is no right or wrong way. We have 3 now, and some things you just get better at. I too didn't realize the sling got cold with the first. :)

ROFL... oh honey... you just described an average, real, and totally normal day with an infant. Or hour. The days where you just watch them licking the sliding glass door with your head in your hands, and your eyes bulging while thinking "maybe I should stop this... but he's really happy and the glass is clean, after all" as you sit, patently not moving, will come in a few months.

I had my son at 23... and started school when he was 2 months... crazymaking days. Studying durning naps (I really probably should have been sleeping), racing home after one class to nurse, and then racing back to school, and then back home to nurse again... oy. I wasn't married either... and my mum (who is one of my best friends) watched him while I was in class (or if I called in tears because I'd had to little sleep I was hallucinating -aka about once a month), but that was it. I come from a VERY large family. And she out and out refused. Here's why:

"At this point in my life I'm a pro. I've learned 90% of what there is to know about raising kids. If I step in, you will never have the self confidence that you can do it on your own, or to tell me when to back off. And you can, and will. Feed him. Keep him warm when it's cool, and cool when it's warm. Love on him. Don't wake him when he's sleeping. Change him. Live your life with him with you, don't try and live his life for him (aka do laundry and make it a game, rather than put off the laundry to play a game... make friends because YOU like them, not because there's an infant playgroup, etc.). Sleep when he sleeps. Hold him every chance you get, because it's over in a blink."

She regrets that a bit now... because I DO ;) tell her to back off.

In not so very much time, you'll be able to take any infant in your arms and soothe them just as your mum soothes your little one. It's all a learning experience. Sometimes I wanted a second PURELY because I knew what to do/what NOT to do. Sigh. :)

Oh... and don't set the carseat on the couch (they fall off), and don't zap a sippy cup with the lid on (the liquid in the mouthpiece gets boiling hot.

Hugs.

Lookit - You made so many other mothers feel *great* just by sharing your very normal, "We've all been there." concerns. Thanks!

My sister (5 awesome kids) told me when I first had kids: If they're alive and not bleeding heavily on the carpet at the end of the day, you've done great.

At first, that may have seemed too sarcastic, but after a kid or two, it was an easy reminder when I was having an "I'm the worst mother in the world" day. Or hour.

Be kind to yourself and have fun with that babe you love so much. It'll get easier. And harder. And easier. And........

You are doing great! You are loving your son... that is all he needs. We all make mistakes - I have made a ton and you will continue to make them. Just remember that as long as you love your son, he knows you are doing everything right. Its a good thing to remember when your son is old enough to make mistakes... you keep loving him and he will keep doing the best HE can! :)

Yep. Hands down, you are the WORST mother on the planet. Just kidding!I know you already filled in your "so what happened" but I wanted to share my experience with you.
A., I had my first (and only!) baby seven years ago at the age of 39. (THIRTY NINE!) You are 189, so that made me...lemme see.....yep, twice you age as a "new mom". My mother came and stayed with us for a few days. I was a baby novice, a completely clueless new mom with about 10 hours (total) of lifetime babysitting experience. When my mom was leaving to go home, I stood at the door and cried like a 10 year old! I felt so inept, so unprepared, so stupid and clueless.
I guess what I wanted to share was that if anyone ever tells you that the moment the baby exits your body you are miraculously bestowed with the mother-wisdom-of-the-ages, they are lying! Motherhood is learned, not in-born. You and your baby will find your own little groove, your own little things and ways. You will bond more and more over time, and you will become a more confident mom.
O. secret for me was this: talk to your baby--nonstop and constantly! You can tell your baby anything. No O. keeps a secret better than a baby and they will never judge you or think you're a lunatic! Sing stupid songs. Make up ridiculous stories. He'll love it and love just hearing your voice. Tell him everything you're doing ("Now. let's see if your stupid mom can actually get the diaper on the RIGHT way this time", "Nothing like a little head knocking to start our day--hey, promise you this, once you can actually make a fist, you owe me O. giant BONK on the head!")
At first you will feel silly talking to your baby, but guess what? Soon it will feel normal and natural and you'll BOTH be loving it!
You've got a lot on your plate. Hang tough. Tap into that know-how that your mom has. You don't have to be Supermom, but you'll be just great. :-)

I don't even have to read all the other answers to know that we are all going to say PLEASE don't be so hard on yourself! My goodness, none of that is awful, certainly doesn't make you in line for any kind of bad mother award.

First I have to say I admire you! Going back to school while raising your baby alone (with mom's help, not to skip giving her some credit), that is HUGE! Be proud of yourself. I have to say, around 2 months was the absolute hardest time for me with my son when he was an infant. That is when the sleep deprivation caught up to me, and he was much more difficult than he had been up to that point. They don't come with a manual, and you are so young, babies are hard work. And not to be putting down your age, it is hard at any age- I was 30 when I had mine and can't imagine having to do it at 19. You are incredibly strong and brave and just a little overwhelmed right now.

If the feelings of being overwhelmed and hopeless continue much longer, you should talk to your doctor or your pediatrician about possible post partum depression. Your hormones may be contributing to all of this. Don't be ashamed to go in and say you are overwhelmed! It's very common.

Babies go through cycles on their eating. My son has always, since day one, eaten like a piggy while gearing up for a growth spurt, and then dropped to almost nothing right after. Then it kinda levels off for a while before we do it again. Yours might be the same way. Feed on demand and you will be fine as long as he is gaining weight appropriately.

That diaper blowout nonsense- Boy I don't miss that! Nothing I did prevented those. My son started pooping about every 4 days once he hit 6 weeks. So on those "poop days" we didn't leave the house til he did it. If it was chilly, I dressed him in something grubby (that he had previously ruined by a blowout usually) and actually put those lap pads under him where ever he was. Because when it happened it was like a bomb went off. It has nothing to do with your diapering most likely. But I found that using diapers with the stretchy elastic across the back helped. Huggies were what I used at that age.

Bumping heads, too cold baths, all that stuff happens. Unless you are leaving your baby hungry and sitting in filth or punishing a newborn for making a mess, you are NOT a bad mom. Cut yourself some slack and give yourself credit, you sound like you love him and that is what matters. We all have moments where we want to give up and think someone else could do it better. But you are his mommy, and you are doing great. (((hugs)))

PS, My son hated mildly warm baths. It took me a while to realize the water was too cold. I was using that ducky with the hot spot, and he hated it. I had to make them much warmer than the ducky said. I used my elbow and was very very careful to feel the water and make sure it was ok, but his bath water was always much warmer than I thought a baby should have for him to be happy in it.

A.,

Your not a bad mother. Your just a NEW mother. Every new mother younger or older feels those moments of "Oh my God, what have I gotten myself into". You just work through it the best way you can. Take a deep breath and try not to be so hard on yourself.

J.

Oh my goodness... Your post made me laugh - in a good way! I'm not laughing at you AT ALL. This sounds just like me AND my husband, two of us there at the same time, with our daughter when she was brand new. I was 27 and he was 33 - so it doesn't get better if you're older! It's just one thing after another when you have a new baby!! It sounds to me like you are a GREAT mama. They cry, they get bonked, it's just the way it is and I would be SO much more laid back about it all if I had another - a lot less tears from mommy next time around, I think. The fact that you are even worried about it shows you are doing a great job. You are learning to be a mom, you are going to make silly little mistakes all the way through. Just a note about the diaper thing - you probably didn't put the diaper on wrong. The poop ALWAYS goes way up the back when they have a big one and such a tiny diaper. I can't count how many times my daughter had poo all the way up her back and into her hair.

You are not a bad mom. I think we all go through that at some point in raising kids. I have 4 boys. They range from 19-8 and I feel like a horrrible parent from time to time. You are young and it takes time to learn everything you need to know. Relax, trust your instincts, love your baby and just be the best mom you can be.

I once locked my keys in my car... with my baby still in it!!! We ALL make loads of mistakes and have mishaps, but the key is to keep trying, learning & loving them. I - just like EVERY other mom - have suffered from BAD MOM syndrome. When you birth the baby, out comes a whopping load of guilt - it's just part of our new role as mothers. But take comfort in knowing this... "love covers over all wrongs"
You're a great mom because you love your baby. Oh, and that baby of mine left in the car.... he's graduating top of his class in 2 weeks : )
Much love to you new momma!
M.

I was also 18 when I got pregnant now 19 and my son is 6 months I am still with my sons father but I felt the same way you did in the beginning my mom lives close and always around for her first grandbaby at first I got mad that my mom was doing everything so perfectly and making everything look so easy and I felt like an idiot for doing it "wrong" but trust me it will get easier and your baby won't love you any less bc you put his diaper on sideways! Enjoy every minute it goes by so fast and it will come more natural as time goes on good luck mama!

Take a deep breathe. Do you love your son? Do you want to be a mom? If you answered "Yes" then you are okay. I was a young mother with my first. Your mom is correct that these kind of things happen especially with your first child. You are tired and working hard to meet your college schedule and then adding a new baby on it. Depression can add to your fears you are having. Talk to your primary care physcian to make sure you are not suffering from depression. Do you have any experience with an infant prior to your son? If yes or no get you some books on what to expect. Babies don't always eat their normal amount. Messy diapers and up the back will happen for the next two years. They will get bumps and scrapes for the rest of their lives. When these things happen breathe and count to 10. When needed cry with them. It will be okay and it is okay to ask for help. They do not come with a manual. Be careful on who you take advise from and go with your gut. The fact you felt bad that you left the ceiling fan on says you have a mom's instinct. There are mom's out their who would of been mad about the whole situtation and they are the worst moms in the world, not you.

You are NOT the worst mother in the whole world! You are doing a great job. I imaging that being a new mother at 19 is tough. Heck - I am 40 and have a 9 month old - and it is still tough. You learn how to be a great mom by watching others, listening, and making mistakes. You may think that everyhthing you do is wrong - but it is most likely just different - and that is ok. Just take a breath - relax and don't beat yourself up.

I'll tell you something that is worse that I did. My son just started scooting last week and I placed him in the middle of our king size bed (mind you, until last week - all he could do was lay there). I turned my head for literally 2 seconds and he was already to the edge of the bed and falling on the floor. He started screaming - I scooped him up, cuddled him close and told him I was sorry and that I loved him. There is not a scratch or bruise on him and he was fine in 2 minutes. We all make mistakes - hang in there, sweetie.

~ J.

you know what -- just the fact that you care enough to put up this post says a lot. i can tell by what you wrote that you love your son deeply and want the best for him and that is already a lot of what your baby needs. all the other stuff you'll learn. we all have made (and continue to make!) mistakes..its a learn as you go process. don't worry. you and your baby will be fine. and good for you on getting your degree! you're setting up a good future for yourself and your son and again, that makes you a GOOD mom! *hug*

I know everyone has told you alot already I just wanted to say I am glad you are feeling better. Your a great mom. the fact that you worry about things like this is a good thing, sucks for you cause you start to go a little crazy but great fro your baby that you love him so much. Your still adjusting, full of hormones and probably still very sleep deprived. The baby response to your mom better cause shes calm and the baby can sense that, so try to fell confident and know your doing everything you can. The poop thing happens to all of us. mostly cause they are laying down so much its just where it goes...it's their funny little joke on us as moms. Little things will happen it's OK. Try to get any rest that you can and if the crying doesnt stop soon call your OB and talk to them about postpartum. It is very common and can be very simply handled sometimes. All babies get dumps and little knocks on the head now and then. Almost all of us, if not all of us have done it. Good luck and keep going girl you'll get it.

Oh, sweetheart....you just sound overwhelmed! And rightly so. You're young and you're trying to do it all. I'm sure you are exhausted, so try to cut yourself some slack. You aren't doing anything that is inherently dangerous or neglectful to your baby. Most of us moms, whether we care to admit it or not, have inadvertently hurt our children somehow in the course of their little lives, so no, you are NOT the worst mother in the world. Pretty normal, in fact. I have cut my babies fingers while clipping their nails (I have two kids and you would think I would have learned after the first, but no...did it to my son too. Those nails are just so dang small!!), I have hit my kids' heads on walls, stairs, etc, while carrying them. And all babies get cold in the bathtub, fan or no fan. I will say again that it can all be overwhelming, but you really are doing okay. These little things just happen and as long as you're doing your best to make your baby safe and comfortable and loved, that's all you can do. Nobody is perfect and I'm really not just saying that. I didn't have my first baby until I was 31 and I still felt like you are feeling some days. Please, please, please give yourself some credit. If you are really starting to feel hopeless and you are crying a lot, then you may want to talk to your doctor about post partum depression. This is nothing to be ashamed of and has to do with your hormones following delivery. If you have this, it is important to treat it so that it doesn't get out of control. THIS IS OKAY!! I'm not saying that is what's going on here. It just sounds like normal "I have a brand new baby for the first time and feel like I have no idea what I'm doing" feelings. Notice I said normal. THIS IS NORMAL!! Keep talking to your Mom. She sounds like a great lady and try to take what she says to heart when she tells you to stop worrying. This is easier said than done, but just remember that as long as you love and care for your baby in a safe and appropriate manner, then he is gonna thrive! Take care of yourself and keep your chin up. You have a lot on your plate right now and not many years of experience to help you cope. This will get easier as baby gets older and starts sleeping more...I promise!!

Relax- dont be hard on yourself. New babies (2 months is still pretty new) can be difficult and new mommies no matter what age have to learn how to take care of these tiny little creatures that we really don't understand.
All moms bump heads and believe me they forget things like the ceiling fan is on. Its ok. It takes time, practice and patience. You will learn. Your baby will grow and just as you have it all figured out, they will change and you will start learning how to handle something else. My son was born right before I turned 18 my hubby was active duty military (left before I knew I was pregnant) and I didn't want to leave home yet. I raised my son alone for 2 1/2 years before I got married and moved 850 miles away from my family. By alone I mean with ALOT of help from my mom, grandma, etc. Many days I bawled because I was the worst mom ever. But guess what... I learned. Now he is 11 and I have 2 more. I still made some of the same mistakes I thought I learned from to begin with. But my kids are all healthy and happy, well behaved (mostly) and undamaged from my terrible mothering. And I am still learning how to deal with new situations and problems every day. I don't know if this mothering learning ever stops. Even when they are adults, we are still mom!
Hope this helps:) Hang in there. Hug that little guy and hold him tight. In the blink of an eye he will be all grown up and you will long for these infant days again!

You are not the worst mother in the world! (Repeat after me: "I am NOT the worst mother in the world!") Your firstborn child is only 2 months old, and you are still learning how to care for him. Even the most confident new mother fumbles, and unless you were throwing him into the pack & play (I seriously doubt that you were!) his little head bonk was the same as every bleary-eyed new mommy who misjudged the edge of the bed. I didn't even think about it, but after delivery your hormones are going a little crazy - preparing for lactation and yet adjusting to no longer being pregnant. Couple that with being so exhausted as the mother of a newborn, and on top of the stress of going to school full time, and its no wonder you cry! Its so easy to feel like a bad mother, but you are just a NEW mother. With experience and your mom's help, you will get the hang of it. Your love and care are what he needs. Parenthood isn't easy, but it is SO worth it! I'm praying for you, sister!

babies don't come with instruction manuals. Every mother learns what to do on her own. I think every mother that you will ever talk to will say the same thing. There is tremendous guilt when you unintentionally hurt your baby or do something wrong. We've all been there... clipping a fingernail so close that there's blood, or smashing a little finder in a drawer, accidently stepping on your baby who is right under foot when you didn't see them, getting a shirt stuck when undressing your baby for bath and having to tug to get it off.... the list will never end. It's all trial and error.
You're doing a great job. It sounds like you're experiencing what all mothers go through and wonder if you are questioning whether your mothering skills are good enough. You probably need to just slow down and take care of one thing at a time. It seems like your one accident had a ripple effect today. But tomorrow, you'll know to make sure that the fan is off. You won't have to take him out in a hurry and you will be more careful so that you don't bump his head. You're learning new things every day. And your baby is so young that right now, he doesn't need much more than to be fed, cleaned and held close and comforted. You'll get the hang of it.
It's overwhelming to be a nwe mom (and I can't even fathom how much more difficult is made by being so young to top it off). If you really feel like you're sinking and can't make it from day to day, please talk to your doctor. It might be that you're experiencing post partum depression. Your doctor can help with that if so. And if you need more help than that, ask. People who love you will point you in the right direction; there are special programs for mothers who need special help.

NO your a normal one! You're so young...I'm a 38 year old mom of 4. I still screw up! There is no book on how to do everything perfect as a parent (especially when you're doing it alone). I got over the "Everything needs to be perfect" with the third child! The best advice my 20 years of parenting I can give you is "learn to roll with it"! The sooner you learn sometimes you have cereal for dinner, toss dirty jeans in the dryer to freshen them up, drop everything and pick them up really late from practice cause you forgot, and all other things that go wrong in a day are not going to cause them to become serial killers and in fact can actually teach them to think on their feet. He has already forgiven you...you have to forgive yourself. The fact that you are so worried about this shows you are a great mom! Your mother loves you as much as you love him! Listen to her let her help...if you were my daughter and in this situation I would help in every way possible! And would be mad at her if she felt guiltily for needing my help..that's what mom's are for! Don't beat yourself up every time you think you do something wrong, you'll be worn out by the time your son is 3mths! Babies (kids) want love just like the rest of us! Good Luck sweetie!

I know you already answered your "what happened" but I had to respond. I feel like I could have written this 9 years ago. I also got pregnant at 18 and went to college and did it all on my own. When I had my daughter I had never even held a newborn before! I had no clue what I was doing. Luckily I had some help from family, but mostly I had to do it on my own because I was in my own apartment. It's sort of a learn as you go type of thing. I remember one time I was trying to give her a bath and she started pooping in the tub! I was freaking out. I had no idea what to do! Of course I handled it somehow and now when I look back at it I think it is hysterical. I am just saying hang in there. You are not doing a bad job at all. With all of my mistakes, my daughter is now 9 years old and a straight A student and very well behaved. And I am sure you baby will turn out just fine also if you just do the best you can do. That's all anyone can ask. Good luck and have fun!

Hi A.,

I believe I did all of those things and more when I had my first child - at the age of 30!!! There isn't anything like having a new baby and the learning curve is HUGE! You aren't a bad mom - you are a new mom, and that is okay. What will make you a great mom is not giving up, staying positive, and remembering that you have all of the skills you need to raise your boy - even if it takes a little while for them to kick in :)

I remember feeling bad about some blunders I had in my son's first year or so, and someone relayed the addage "They will never remember and you will never forget." I think that is so true. All of the things I went through and mistakes I made are really important for me to remember so that I can learn and continue to be a better parent over time, but I can comfort myself that my kids won't remember a thing about the silly things I did!

Hey, you aren't alone. Being a mother is hard, for everyone. Just keep your chin up, and know that you can absolutely, unequivically do this.

There is nothing harder or more wonderful than the privilege of being someone's mom. Congratulations, and good luck!

D.

Sweetie, you are a NEW mother, not a bad mother! Every one of us has done something or said something or NOT done something to make us feel just like you do. My youngest son had stitches three times the summer he was two! One of my friends remarked that I must not be watching him very well. Wow, did I ever feel like a bad mom! My only advice is to try and relax, give yourself time to get the hang of it, and let your mom be a mentor for you! Hang in there and God bless you!

Nope, you are just a new mother. You have many lessons to learn and IT DOES GET BETTER!

First, you had a baby 2 months ago - you will cry alot still - and if you were a bad mom you wouldn't be asking if you were!!! Good moms care if they are doing a good job, they want to give their child(ren) the best of everything, including themselves. We've all had days like that, even weeks and months like that - but we learn and try and care and love our babies and THAT is what makes a good mom, which is just what you are!

No, you are definately not the worst Mother in the world. Relax, you are trying too hard. You are doing all the right things, you just are in a situation that makes you feel like you are over your head. It will all work out and you and your baby will be fine. I was in a situation just like yours. You're very lucky, you have support from your Mom. Be grateful for her and tell her thank you. She is allowing you the opportunity to live with her, help you with the baby and get an education, the only thing that will enable you to make a living and home for your child on your own. It does sound like you might be letting Mom take more care of the baby than you do and when he is in your care you kind of panick, but on the other hand, he is only 2 months old and you are 19. You haven't had a lot of experience with babies either. I understand how you sometimes feel so overwhelmed, I was there. You are doing the best you can for you and your baby right now, so don't be so hard on yourself. I think you sound like a great Mother, who loves her baby very much and is trying to do the best and the most you possibly can right now. That's all that anyone can do. It will get better, I promise. It did for me, and I know it will for you as well. Don't get down about your situation, just put yourself and your baby's welfare first and concentrate on being able to take care of yourself. You will make it through this!

you know what I still feel that way sometimes and my daughter is two and I'm going to have a boy in july. It is normal especially when you are so overwhelmed. I understand the whole school thing I'm working on my bachelors degree online right now and feel like I can't ever get anything done right.

Take a deep breathe and remember it gets easier as you learn more about your baby. It takes time to understand their signals and not every baby is the same. as for getting him to eat maybe he just needs to burp more before he finishes the bottle. Remember take a day for yourself to regroup then tackle one thing at a time.

No, you are not the worst mother in the world. Do you give your baby loving? Do you kiss him, smile at him, play with him? Do you feed him, clothe him, change his diaper? You are such a great parent if you answered yes to all the questions.

You are doing everything you can do. This is your first child. Our firsts are always the big challenge. We are new to parenting and just need to learn from our experiences as we go.

Things will get better, I promise. Love your little one while you can. They grow up so fast!

Welcome to the world of motherhood!! It sounds like your doing it all right
I am a 51 year old mother for the first time. My husband and I adopted our
adorable little girl 3 1/2 yrs ago. I felt like a complete idiot!!! I didn't even
know how to change her diaper properly. Through trial and error we have
managed to keep her well and happy.
If it makes you feel any better we put her in her car seat when she was 6
weeks old, forgot to fasten it and took off, driving for about 15 mins
when I turned around to smile at her and she was slummed over about
to fall out of her seat!!!
It didn't help that we had sleep deprevation.
Loving your child is the greatest gift you can give. God Bless you for
being so brave and not giving your child away.
Keep fighting the good fight
Many blessings
KathrinM

Every mother has something I like to call "guilty mom syndrom" it is where you are your biggest critic about all of the things you are doing wrong. Every mother goes through this no matter what age you are and what number baby you are on. Things will get easier I promise, don't sweat the small stuff if your baby has a poopy explosion and a chill in the bath he will survive. You are doing the best that you can do and it could be worse. If you start to relax and feel proud of all that you are doing for him he will relax too. Motherhood is an amazing but difficult journey it is not easy for anyone, but in the end it such a reward. If you are still feeling too overwhelmed you could also talk to your Dr too about anti-depressants, many many mothers in all situations need ant-depressant help. It is nothing to feel embarrassed about, keep up the good work, I am sure you are doing fine. Good Luck!

A.,
I just want to tell you that you are NOT the worst mother in the world. No one, nothing can prepare you for the life changing event of having a child. And to be a single mother on top of that is even more challenging. It sounds like you are doing a fantastic job. No one is perfect and we all do things that make us feel badly. You clearly love your son and are doing the best you can and that is all that any of us can do. So keep up the good work. Last thing. I encourage you to talk with your doc/OB about how you are feeling. It is normal but maybe there are some things you can do to help you feel better.

Oh, A. you obviously love your little guy so much!! I am 37 and have 3 children, youngest is 2 1/2 and I still do "stupid" things more than I'd like to admit. The poop up the back happens to even the most experienced diaperer!

I know it's hard, but cut yourself some slack. You're doing fine!!

No your not the worst mom. I am happy to see your in school. I did it with twins newborns while breastfeeding. You are going to be tired until he graduates high school. Make sure you have a night out at least once a month. One of my daughters slid off the changing table into the window and down the wall. I thought i killed her. But she's also a nurse now just like her mother. Now i have 17 grand children to be tired for! And 3 greats. It's all about being a mom. You will adjust and learn shortcuts etc. So just be patient and keep holding him tight he won't be that tiny for long!!

You sound like a pretty normal mom to me! Please don't be so hard on yourself. Sometimes kids don't want to eat. And blowouts happen ALL the time, even if you get the diaper on right. I've accidentally knocked both my daughters' heads on walls as I was walking. And for baths, I find that keeping a warm wet washcloth on their tummies helps to keep them warm, just keep putting fresh warm water on the cloth.

Parenting is a learning process. We ALL go through it. Anyone who tells you they've got it all down and are the perfect parent are really full of it. We all second guess ourselves, doubt ourselves, etc. That part of being a GOOD mom! Take it slow. Have faith in yourself, be confident. Don't be so down on yourself, you have to keep up a sense of humor. My parents always joked that since I was their first, I was the experiment. =p Yes, you are young, but it sounds like you're doing an AWESOME job! Good for you for going back to school and working! It also sounds like you've got a really supportive network of family at home.

Also, I'm wondering if you might be having some issues of anxiety and/or baby blues, possibly something more? If you are, please don't hesitate to contact your doctor as soon as possible. I suffer from post partum anxiety, and since seeking help after my 2nd daughter was born, I feel great.

Good luck to you!

all new moms have moments where they feel they are failing. There is a lot to learn and if you haven't had experience with babies before it can be overwhelming. Just keep trying to do your best and you will be amazed at how much you will learn and how rewarding it is to be a mother. Don't give up, just keep trying.. As for that diaper explosion.. it happens to everyone at times so don't stress over that maybe you put it on wrong, sometimes it happens when you have the diapers on right too especially with newborns.

Just keep loving him and keep trying. Love is the best thing you can give.

No you are NOT the worst mother in the world!! In fact, you are telling us how much you love your son. You care about everything that you are doing for him, or what you think you are not doing. Every mother has those feelings in the beginning, because not one of us knew what we were doing at first, it is a learning process. I don't care if we babysat kids when we were younger it is not the same as having your own child, you have to learn everything. Hang in there, you will do fine. Don't throw in the towel and 'give him to your mom'. That would be a mistake for you would remember that for the rest of your life and so would your son. You can do it!! Just be positive and things will fall into place, it takes time with a newborn.

You are not a bad mother!! I remember when I had my daughter a couple years ago, I had no clue what I was doing! I was calling my mom constantly for advice and there were times that I would get so frustrated I just wanted to give up. You just need to realize that nobody can be a perfect mom all the time. There are going to be bumps and bruises and diapers that are put on wrong along the way....it's just a fact of life. Being a mom is not an easy job and unfortunately babies don't come with an instruction manual! Lol!! All that matters is that you love your son and the rest you'll learn along the way :o)

You're just a young, new mom. The best thing you can do for your baby is to forgive yourself when you make a mistake and move on. It's important that you understand that a mistake has been made, but what you describe is all accidental and easy to screw up. :) Constantly feeling bad about yourself and what you're doing as a mom is only going to hurt your baby because you will be upset when he needs you to be focusing on him. You're also very hormonal right now, so give yourself a break. :)

Oh hon, I am sorry you had such a bad day. We all have those days where we feel like the worst mom in the world.
Tomorrow will be better.
I commend you for getting on with your life and with your education.
You'll maek it work.

Don't even think about that. You can tell by your words that you really love your darling baby & you will get better as time moves on. Children learn through love & that is all they know when all is said & done. Patience, it will all happen. God love you & your beautiful child.

don't be so hard on yourself. Besides the fact that you're only 19, you're also a single mom. You are doing fine I'm sure, and the fact that you're going to college as well, that is an accomplishment to be proud of. We all do things to our kids we don't mean to, do you know how many times I have inadvertently knocked my kids head, arms, legs,etc against something? Had a poop up the back experience? We all have days we feel like crying and it is ok to do just that. You are doing the best you can with the circumstance you have. Be proud that you are taking care of your son to the best of your ability, you are getting an education to provide for you and your son, and that no matter how young or old you are, you are going to make mistakes as a parent. BTW I am 33, and have two boys 3 1/2 and 18months. I promise you, they will not remember that you changed the diaper wrong or put them in cold water, they will remember how much you loved them and how much you tried to be the best parent you could!!

A., you are not a bad mother. You are a great mother. Things like these happen to everyone whether we like to admit it or not. My baby is going to be 3 years old next month and I still do clumsy things. But you love your baby and this is a learning process. You are doing a great job, and you love him very much. Because you are asking this. Just hang in there, everything will be okay. Just wait until he falls for the first time or gets an ouchie! I was all tears with mine. Congrats and hang in there!

If you are being horrible to anyone my dear, it is yourself. Don't be so hard on yourself. :) Your baby and you will continue growing together. I think you are just nervous because you've never done this before. I think we all felt like incompetent women with our first children. :)

Just please take every moment you can to stop, calm yourself, breathe, etc. Take a moment when you feel yourself getting anxious and make your baby laugh. It will make all the stress melt away. :)

Please do be careful though. While things can happen, accidents can be made worse by our panicking. Keep in mind your baby has a soft spot that he will have for the first 18 months. You need to protect this part of your baby's head in particular. Even now as a mom of three (soon to be four), things happen. You can't be perfect all the time no matter how much experience you have but you WILL feel better as time goes on...you will gain confidence in yourself. Just think of the stories you'll have to tell him as he gets older that will make both of you chuckle!! My sons get a kick out of how "human" mommy can be. ;)

You are not the worst mother in the world - you are a caring, loving mother. There will be times when you feel like the worst mother (today, maybe next week, next year, etc) but also there are times when you feel like the world's best mom - when he falls asleep content in your arms, gives you a smile, reaches for you, says mama, etc.

Take a breath and remember that this is your first time doing this!! No doubt you will bonk his head again..I've done it before! Or my son will fling his arm out when walking out of a door while I'm holding him so he bangs that. I've scratched both my kids with my wedding ring while reaching into the crib to get them in the dark!!

There will be lots of time when he won't eat as much as you think he should be eating, he'll poop on himself all over as well as you even though you get the diaper on right (some kids just have lots of blowouts!), he'll hate the water (maybe) no matter how warm and soothing you make it, etc.

If you do need to take a breather, walk away (even if he's crying) and count to 10 then go back to him. He won't remember what happened five seconds or five minutes ago but will remember your face when you reappear.

You are doing the best for him and yourself by going to school! Be sure to express your thanks and gratitude to your mom for helping you out. But give yourself more credit. You are doing great!

I haven't read all of the other responses, but this is totally normal!!!! I just wanted to say real quick that you are a great mom. You care about what you do with your child. If you were the worst mom in the world, you wouldn't care what happened with your baby!

Hang in there, it gets easier. And then it get hard again.... But ultimately it does it easier! :D

I'm so glad you're feeling better now about all this. I know it feels awful when you're going through it, but I must admit, your post made me laugh because it sounds so much like something I'd do! My first was born when I was 19, and even with my husband to help me, I went through much of the same kind of experiences (in addition to my husband's little messups, too)! It does get easier. And you really do know your child best.

Keep in mind that no one is a perfect parent, no matter how old they are nor how many kids they have! Our youngest child is now almost four months old, and we have five children... and I still occasionally do things like leaving the fan on during a bath! (As someone else said, it helps to put a warm wet washcloth on the baby's tummy.) But really, don't fret too much. The worst mom in the world is the one who doesn't care at all--and you obviously care a LOT about your son! That alone will get you through most of the rough times.

Enjoy those little smiles, coos, and giggles--and even the mistakes, too--because it will all go by so quickly.

When it feels like you're doing everything wrong, just slow down, take a few deep breaths, cuddle your son, and try again. Really, parenting is more about persistance than perfection. ;-)

First of all when you beat yourself up it does no one any good. You are a y young mom which depending on how you look at could be positive or negative. I think its positive. My parents were only 21 yrs old when I was born. I am the oldest. I loved that my parents were so young. My parents were the cool parents playing with all the neighborhood kids and us outside. While all the other parents were inside.
Being a mom is hard work. Your baby loves you very much. I have three kids and I was 31yr old when my oldest was born. I was constantly nervous he looked so tiny. As I grew more confident being a mom those fears went away. Also after women give birth sometimes their hormones can make them depressed. I would check with your doctor to make sure your not depressed after having the baby.
You are doing a great job being a mom is hard work. If your not getting it from anyone else you tell yourself you are doing a good job.

I know you've gotten several wonderful responses but you can never have too many positive responses or been there done that stories!
I had my son 5 weeks after I turned 19, me & his dad didn't last but a year after that & we shouldn't have lasted that long. I had been raised around kids all of my life (my mom did daycare). I changed my first diaper at the age of 9! But when it came it came to my own, I freaked out constantly cuz I thought I know how to do this...I shouldn't be making any mistakes,etc..HA that is a fantasy world! The mom that said because you care about what happens to your son makes you a great a mom is absolutely TRUE! Whatever you do, don't give up on you, your schooling, or your son...you all will make it through this & he will be fine. It sounds to me like you were doing a wonderful job with him, but had a few mishaps along the way. If he's fussier with you or won't eat as much with you, it's probably just because he senses your worry....it's okay...he will be fine if he doesn't eat as much at one feeding...he may get hungry earlier or eat more the next, but he will be fine...DON'T stress. Diapers..sometimes it doesn't matter what you do they manage to go up & out of them...after how many years, the companies still have not perfected them. Your mom makes it look natural because she has been there done that...you were her practice ;)Trust me your mom bumped your head & yes you may have even rolled off of the couch (although only a few moms will admit that happens) & you are still here & you look up to your mom...so will your son! There's a stigma around being the perfect mom that continues to grow...especially if you pay attention to the media.....As long as you have your child's best interest at heart & what you choose works for the both of you...that is all that matters!

Do not be so hard on yourself. It is true, all moms - unless they are not telling the truth - have done things they wish they hadn't and felt like the worst mom in the world. The fact that you care about it - well, that is proof positive that you are not, in fact, the worst mom! :-)

You did everything just right. Listen to your mom and watch what she does. The best way we learn to be moms is by watching good moms. Life will get better. Just keep loving that baby, keep accepting the help of others and you will learn as they grow. Live in today, they change every day, so will you.

You are a good mom. We all get better with age (each day of being a mom) and you guys will be just fine. I was 31 when my infant was born and I cried too. I know you'll make it!!

I don't know what advise I can give to make everything ok, but I just wanted to say not to worry. You are not the worst mom in the world. You are very busy, very tired and have a lot on your plate. These little guys don't come with an instruction book, so it takes some practice and just figuring out your baby and what makes him happy, what he doesn't like, and how he communicates what he needs. Don't give in to the guilt and the doubt, just tell yourself how much you love him. When we start doubting ourselves it only adds more stress. Try different things, some babies like soothing with gentle songs, some like the movement of swaying, some just want to be close to you and feel your warmth and smell you. Every baby is different, I have had 3 so I know from experience that what works with one might not work with another. :-)

A. you are NOT the worse mom in the world, and just because he pooped up his back or outside his clothes does not mean you put the diaper on him wrong. You are a new mom, and a young mom, so cut yourself some slack. My first born is now 26 years old, when he was a baby I dropped a vasseling jar on his head, the lid was not on tight, I dropped the phone receiver on his head, and when he was a toddler I was cutting the feet out of a sleeper he grew out of and accidently nip the top of his foot, didn't break the skin just left a tiny bruise, you know what he does not remember any of it. and he's is a healthy happy sucessfull adult, I felt the same way you do. But you are going to do so many more right things than wrong things, and it will be apparent when your child is older. J.

Just wait until he starts walking and starts falling into EVERYTHING!! Sounds like you are a great mom and trying your best to do whatever you can to be good to your son.
I also had my first baby at 18. She's 9 now and you wouldn't believe how much I've screwed up here and there. There's no such thing as a perfect parent. Just do your best and he'll love you unconditionally!

You're obviously a very loving mother. Sure, you make mistakes. It's going to be especially hard being single and so young. But you can do it. Just do the best you can every day. And if you screw up, well, you'll learn from your mistakes, like we all do. Good luck.

You know what will make you feel better? When he's asleep, heavy and limp in your arms looking like the sweetest little angel. And when he's a little older and gets the biggest grin on his face when he sees you come into the room. And when he learns to talk and tells you he loves you. You have so many good moments to look forward to. Enjoy the ride!

YOU ARE NOT THE WORST MOTHER IN THE WORLD!! If you were a bad Mother you wouldn't worry about being the worst Mother in the world :)....it sounds like you're doing JUST FINE. You're young and it's hard at any age in the first few months. It takes some time getting used to being a Mother. We all make mistakes and just as long as you learn from them IT'S ALRIGHT...Try not to be so hard on yourself....you will be just fine. Sounds like your'e lucky that you have your Mom to help you. The "father" of my child and I broke up 5 days after my son was born and I had my Dad and Stepmom helping me. If it wasn't for them I definately would have gone off the deep end. My son was 10 weeks premature and was in the hospital for 5 weeks. When I went up to the hospital to visit him everyday I never saw him cry...he was always sleeping. The first night I brought him home he cried and cried and cried. I held him and cried right along with him. I didn't know what to do. It's hard at first but you'll get the hang of it. Hang in there sweetie!!

Of course you're not! Just because mothering may not be coming to you naturally, doesn't mean you aren't a good Mother. Give yourself time to learn and adjust. Don't worry about the baby. Although we'd like to make it a warm perfect world for them, they bounce back from our little mistakes pretty well.

Honey, you are definately NOT the worst mother in the world. All moms feel like that sometimes. The fact that you do feel that way as because you do care so much. Just this week I was on the phone with my sister and realized I was 10 mintes last picking my 3 year old up at school. He looked so pitiful sitting in the office all by himself I wanted to cry. We all make mistakes, especially in the first year when we are exhausted from lack in sleep and taking care of an infant. Years from now your son isn't going to remember your mistakes as much as he will realized how hard you worked by going to school and taking care of him so you can give him a better life.

My mother left my bio father before I was a year old raised me on her own until she met the man I call Dad. I think she is the bravest woman I know.

Hang in there, you can do it.

You are not the worst mother in the world. Please do not be so hard on yourself - give yourself some time to get comfortable taking care of your son and know that you don't have to do everything perfect - no mother is perfect. As long as you love your son and he loves you - just enjoy your time with him.

Good luck! And God Bless!

You are NOT a bad mother. The fact that you are concerned with how you are doing shows that you love your child very much and want to do what is best for him.

The fact that you are 18 and doing this all on your own is comendable. Raising a baby, regardless of how old you are, is very tough. They don't come with an instruction manual, and it's hard to know what to do in every situation. I had my first at 33, and believe me, at times, I felt totally helpless and inadequate too. He's only two months old, so you're still getting used to having him around to take care of. But, you WILL figure it out. Any mother that says she had it all figured out right away is lying! :)

Please don't be so hard on yourself. You are doing your best. The most important thing is to love your baby and showed him with hugs and kisses. He will never remember the cold bath or being bonked on the head!!!!

Good luck, and God bless you.

Hang in there...its an adjustment and your mom is right those types of things happen to most if not all first time moms, even moms with experience.

Let me tell you one of my worst mommy moments. One day I set my 2 month old on the floor while my 2 year old was playing in the same room with shoes on. Needless to say before i knew it my 2 year old accidentally walked/half ran right into my 2 month olds head. My 2 month old is screaming, I'm crying and in turn it freaks my 2 year old out so she's crying. It was a mess. It happens and I did feel like the worse mommy in the world that day, how could I leave her on the floor like that? Its been almost 3 years since that day, and I still remember it and cringe thinking about that moment even though it ended up being no big deal
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Parenting takes lots of patience and practice. You'll get a better hang of it in time!

No, you are not the worst mother in the world. You will be just fine. Just take your time when dealing with the baby. Babies do poop and mess up their diapers and clothes--it's ok. Most important is to love your baby, hold him, talk to him, smile at him and read. Being a mother is the greatest joy in the world--you are young but you can do it. Make good choices-especially with the men in your life, get an education and love your child.
Best of luck,

I am sure you got tons of supportive responses by now, but another one won't hurt. HECK NO you are not the worst mom in the world. If you were, you wouldn't try to soothe him when he cries and you certainly wouldn't care so much about his cleaniness and comfort. Mothering an infant is not easy, especially as a single parent. Give yourself props for being in school and going it alone.

NO, you are not the worst mother!!! Don't be so hard on yourself. First of all, you are just 19 (not to be degrading or anything) and having a child is difficult. I didn't have my first child until I was 33 and I can't imagine it at that age. You may also go see your OB/GYN, you might have a little postpartem depression seeing as how your son is only 2 months old - but seriously, I'm sure that you are doing a great job! :)

I think you are a fine young woman and the best mom your son could ask
for. You are trying to better yourself and you didnt turn your back on your
baby I think you are to be congratulated. Give yourself a pat on the back
from a Mom of four and 3 grandchildren in France. Your friend S.

No. YOu are the best mother in the world for your son. I am also a new mother at 43! (to an 18 month old). I did and do all sorts of boo boos, like scratch the top of his scalp by accident and it bled :( at 3 months. I still don't always do the diaper right and his "treasures" leak. These things happen. So please, give yourself a break. You are doing fine just by loving your son. Keep loving him, giving him hugs, cuddling him. All he needs is you.
Hang in there, and take care.

No, I think you are being to hard on yourself. But glad you realize you might need some extra help. Have you taken a parenting class? That might be beneficial for you. Your child might even have a bit of colic right now...my first child did.
As for those accidents, yes, we all have them. We were still in the hospital after my son was born and I was trimming his nails, I clipped his skin and he cried and bled for awhile...talk about feeling awful!
Hang in there! It does get better.

I know what you are feeling. I was also 18 when I had my daughter. I could not have done it without the help of family. You will make mistakes every day and you will learn from them. Enjoy that sweet little baby!

No, you are definitely not, we ALL do silly things like that, it's just normal and a part of everyones life whether we want to admit it or not. You'll find over time the best way to care for him through trial and error, unfortunately babies don't come with instruction manuals :)! Shaping his character is the highest calling you have. Babies can be a huge challenge, especially if you feel unprepared. Here's a thanks from me to you. (THANKS FOR GIVING HIM LIFE.) God will help you if you ask, he is always waiting for us to consult him on issues and so many times we simply DON'T ASK! Here's my suggestion: Look up all the verses in the Bible that have to do with child rearing, you will find great strength in them. Best wishes to you! Ruth

I was 19 when I had my first (I'm 26 now with 3 kiddos)... NO you're not a bad mother, just the fact that you are questioning if you are a bad mom makes you a GREAT mom! Send me a private message anytime you need to vent :)

I know this is late, but I wanted to add, I was a single 25yr old mother when I had my son and I probably did all those and more in a single day, but I was trying my best as you are and that's all our child really needs. Also, I went to the peds office because I thought I must be doing something wrong with the diapers, since he pooped out the back every day...no apparently I'm just lucky. The doctor checked the diaper I had on and said it was perfect and not 10mins later still in the office it happened again, he said there was no diaper stopping that and it was part of the fun of parenting. Your not alone in these fears and I wish you the best.