This happened maybe about 30 minutes, maybe an hour ago... there's this guy who rides his bike every morning with his little girl on the back in a child's seat (both wearing helmets) past my house...
Well I happened to look outside and saw the bike on the ground, the dad sitting on the ground holding his little girl (she's maybe about 2), and some guy hovering over them with his car parked to the side. I'm not sure what happened, I didn't ask, but it looked like maybe the car got too close or something and the dad, trying to get out of the way, miscalculated our yard and the bike tipped. The dad looked pretty upset, the toddler was crying (she didn't appear hurt, just shaken up), and this guy leaning over them looked like he was in a rush to get out of there... kind of jumpy and nervous.
My neighbor was leaving for work and came and sat with my son for a second so I could go ask these people if everyone's okay. I went out there, told them my name and that I used to be an EMT, just checking to make sure everything's alright. The car guy, like I said, was really jumpy and told me they didn't need any help. I smiled and told him I'm glad he's okay, but he's not the one on the ground. I knelt down and started talking to the toddler. The dad looked a little shocked still, but the baby stopped crying and she was babbling at me. I checked her over real quick, dad said he was alright, and I asked if anyone felt like they needed me to call the police or an ambulance.
Well the second I said that, the dad's eyes got real big, and the car guy started hollering 'No need for the police, you don't have to call the cops'... I smiled and said, again, 'I'm glad you're okay, but you're not the one on the ground with a baby'... I turned towards dad so my body was to him and my back was to the other guy, and asked again if he thought they needed assistance. The guy looked scared... now, I'm not sure if he thought he was in trouble for something (maybe with his wife for wrecking with the baby on the bike), or if the car guy had been intimidating him. He said they were fine.
The car guy started saying 'see? Everything's alright, you can go on back inside now'... I looked at him and said 'I'm not the police, I'm not even asking what just happened in my yard here, I came out to make sure everyone's okay, especially that baby right there... I haven't seen you around here before, and just so you know, this is a family neighborhood, lots of kids, my kids school is right down the road, and we'd all appreciate it if you'd take it easy'... then I went inside (took the guys license plate number and car make/model)
Through the window, I say them talking a little bit more, then the guy drove off, and the dad put the toddler back on the bike and rode home. Something's still not quite sitting right with me. I don't know the dad's name but I know they live a block over; like I said, I see them every day. The car guy, never seen him before, didn't like him one bit, he just left a bad taste in my mouth. I don't like that a child was involved. Like I said, she looked fine, but dad looked a bit shaken up and the car guy was a jerk.
Would you call the police and report this? Or let it go?
@Everley, that's a great idea. I was kind of getting the impression that the dad didn't want to say in front of the car guy that yes, the cops needed to be called. It was weird... but I think I'll do that...
@Jess, the neighbor watching my son was watching us out the window and didn't like the car guys body language at ALL. She thinks I should call the cops, because she too got the feeling that something wasn't right just from WATCHING. I think I'm going to give the dad all the info I have and let him handle it from here, and let him know that if he needs me to get in on the report, I'm willing. Plus, I'd like to make sure his daughter is okay anyway, poor baby must have really had a startling moment for sure!
I would have reported it before going outside, just me though. Thank goodness you were there to help! If anything was going on then at least you are a witness.
Wow! I think you did terrific! I'd probably hold on to the information on the car guy and let the whole thing pass. My hat is off to you though, great job!
I think I'd take the license plate number you wrote down and deliver it to the dad if you know where they live. That way he can decide if there's a need to involve the police or his insurance company. And provide him with your phone number just in case he needs someone to corroborate his story.
And good for you for standing your ground to the car guy!
A few takes on this:
1. If the dad didn't feel like the cops needed to be called, then I'd leave it alone.
2. If you felt the dad wasn't in a mental state to make the determination if everyone was okay and the cops did or did not need to be called, then I would call.
3. Since this happened in your yard, for liability reasons, it might have been prudent to call.
I would've called the police before I walked out the door. People in shock don't think clearly and the car driver could be avoiding trouble. Let the police figure out what happened.
GOOD FOR YOU!!! for going out and getting the guys license plate!! and checking on the man and daughter!!!
If you feel something was truly "off" about the situation, maybe you should write down every little detail that you remember, including detailed descriptions of those involved. Do this while it is still relatively fresh in you mind. That way if it does turn out to be something, you have it. If you feel the need to, you could pass a copy on to the dad.
p.s. Good for you, for stepping in and offering assistance. Unfortunately, not everyone would.
Weird. Now that it's over, I don't think I would call the cops. I doubt there is really anything they can do now. If you see the dad later I might stop him and ask him what happened. He my have just been in a little bit of shock.
My husband did that once. When my daughter was four months old she rolled off the couch, while he was preparing his lunch. Figures the first time she rolls over it right off the couch. :) Anyway he came out of the kitchen and she is face down on the floor screaming. His brain just jammed. He said all he could do was pick her up and look at her and think, "Work brain, WORK!" Did I mention that he is a Chiropractor...with a degree in sports medicine as well? Goes to show you, when it involves your own kids, everything you know kinda goes out the window.
Anyway, I would suggest that the guy in the car may have gotten too close, dad swerved, hit the curb and landed on the ground. Guy in the car, got out to check on them, then realized what he almost did and became defensive.
As soon as you said cops he probably thought he was in trouble and thinking I should have kept driving. Jerks are like that. I doubt it was anything real sinister, but if I were you I would be kinda keeping an eye out for the car again. If it keeps appearing in the neighbor hood, you might have a problem
Wow. That's really weird! I don't know. Probably. But by the time they get there it may have been too late. I think you did the best possible at the time by going out there and offering to help.
Do you happen to have the tag number of the car? I would call if I had that.
No, I likely would not call the police. What, other than suspicion, did the guy do wrong? If the dad was really a man concerned with whatever was going on, he'd have said "Yes please call the police" or something. But maybe this guy is a non-manly-man. My husband could have stood up for himself and probably not called the cops either, but he's not one to be intimidated.
So no, it's best to stay out of it for now IMO. Keep an eye on things and the license plate/car make and model handy. If he seems to be a nusiance or creepy, call the police and say you have a genuine fear of this guy and see if they can run his plates.
What did the other neighbor (who watched your son) think you should do?
Could you go knock on the guy's door and say "Just checking to make sure everything's okay. What was that guy's problem anyway? Here's our phone number if you need anything."
Added: Hmm. Hadn't really considered the guy not being able to think clearly due to injury ..... I think it's interesting that the neighbor who watched your son had the same creepy feeling. That really says something. Maybe nothing to do NOW but to watch out for, plus give the dad your number and let him know you'll do what you can to help him.
i wouldnt call but do what Everly said. It could be likely that he has points already or did something in the past to make him not be able to get more points on his license and thats why he was afraid. I have points from speeding (when my daughter wasn't in the car) and I would have been scared like crazy if someone thereatened to call the police on M., afraid i'd get pints lose my license and not be able to work and provide for my daughter. With all of that said, I'd say it's up to the dad since he saw what happened. He may know that he wasn' in the bike lane or swerved when his daughter started getting upset about something and caused the chain of events. You never know. I'd leave it up to the guy who witnessed it.
also i learned from my speeding tickets (2) so dont hate M.=)
I thought you handled that car driver incredibly well. Polite but firm. He'd rub me the wrong way too.
About the dad and toddler and calling the police: Tough decision. I guess I wouldn't want to come off as meddling, even if my intuition tells me intervention would be the right thing to do. That's because my intuition isn't always on target. Most people have better intuition than I do!
Not sure if this idea is a good one or not, but I might look at the situation as an opportunity for the neighborhood kids to make new friends. You said you didn't know the dad's (or toddler's?) names, but they live close. If they're only a block away, I might spend a few minutes to walk over to their house with my own baby and with a tiny treat/book/toy (something really small) for her and a note attached. I'd address the note to the girl who survived the fall from the bike without an owie, something about how I hope my own son can be as bulletproof and brave as she showed herself to be (your phrasing will be better than my words, but you get the idea), and sign it with my name and my son's name. Then, I'd add a P.S. message along the lines of, come over to our house anytime, we have lots more toys/books/treats to share between the kids!
If they're home. they see you in the doorway, open the door and say hi, great, you can all properly introduce yourselves. (To avoid coming across as "too friendly" or "too pushy", I wouldn't ring their doorbell or knock. This is just a quick stop to drop off the treat and note.) If they're not home or can't get to the door for some reason, I'd leave the note and treat by their door.
If they interpret it as a friendly gesture and say hi or stop by to visit, you and your family will have forged a new beautiful friendship. Eventually, if they and your family get to know each other better, they might explain what happened, but I wouldn't initiate that conversation myself out of respect for their privacy.
If there's no response from them, not even a hi or a wave hello the next time you see them bike past, then I'd just shrug it off. There might be good reasons why they're keeping to themselves, none of which have anything to do with me. So I wouldn't take a no-response personally. Last I heard, there are 7 billion other new friends and kids to meet in this world... and counting! :-)
I see you've gotten lots of good perspectives already. One other thought... I don't know if you have an umbrella policy or liability coverage, but you may want to call your insurance company about this incident. This does two things... First, you can have an official statement on record if anything ever does come of it. Second, you can get some input from them about whether you should take any action to protect yourself or the family on the bike. I'm not sure how much they can help if you didn't see the incident itself, but I don't see how it could hurt.
Kudos to you for how you've handled it so far. Without seeing the incident, it's hard to say if anyone was at fault or if it was simply an accident. Perhaps neither wanted to involve the police for other reasons - police reports go in the paper, they can pull other info like inspection or even immigration status, or perhaps they both felt as if they were at fault. I think yout strategy sounds like the right one for now. I would, however, keep the info on that car in case you ever see it doing something suspicious again.
Everley has the best idea in my opinion. Give dad the information when you see him, and then leave it be.
If NOTHING had happened at all, and there had been no other car involved, and I fell off the bike with my kid on it, I'd be pretty shaken up and freaked out. Adding a car to the mix would be terrifying. It doesn't mean the car guy tried to run him down or is threatening him if he's acting confused or freaked out. Was the bike damaged? I ask that because well, did it look like he got hit, or just swerved out the way and had an accident? As for the driver: yeah, I can totally see him being freaked out and scared to get in trouble especially if it were an accident. And defensive. Especially with some other chick coming up on him while he's trying to kiss butt and get things smoothed over so he can just get outta there. Who knows what the situation was? But I think Everley's suggestion of just handing the info and your phone number to the dad would be best. What's your husband say?
By the way: bravo for reminding that guy this neighborhood has children all over, and for giving a quick once over to the father and child before leaving.
I'd call or see dad RIGHT NOW and find out exactly what happend and call the police based on that. Since you didn't actually witness the accident, you don't have anything but assumptions to report. The police may ask you questions, but what information do have to tell them other than the driver was jumpy, and the dad and driver worked things out and went their separate ways. Better yet, encourage dad to call police and tell him his daughter needs to be seen by a doctor...who will probably insist on report being filed anyway.
If you find out dad was actually struck (which is what I think happened) by the car and dazed, you need to call in. Dad might be too disoriented to realize how bad off he might be. He needs to get the girl checked too...even though she seems fine.
Dudesky with the car was probably drunk, a suspended license, or has some DUIs and is going to lose his license. So don't delay in speaking with bike-man.
In retrospect, I would have called 911 before going out to talk to the bicyclist and told him an ambulance/paramedic was coming to see if he and his child were okay. If the driver took off after this, then the police would take care of him. The fact that the bicyclist didn't seek medical help may be problematic if the child or he has problems later. Insurance coverage for any medical expenses and timing of reporting the incident are crucial with accidents like this. So don't delay.
I would have called the police. If it turns out to be nothing, no harm is done.
I'm with Donna-- I have the non emergency number for the police programmed into my phone for all those should I or shouldn't I call situations!
(likee the creepy empty baby car seat setting on the storm sewer-- NO WAY was I looking down that sewer! )
Hindsight is always pretty clear, but I probably would have called 9-1-1 instead, in the time it took your neighbor to come over and watch your son. But that's not what happened...and it's "over," so I guess there's not much you can do now...I'd make sure to see him tomorrow morning and just double check with him, since you said that's their daily route, and that would also be a good time to give the bike dad the license plate number in case he wants to pursue it further...also give him your name and phone number because even though you didn't see the accident, you are a witness.
Hi, R.:
Call the non emergency police number and tell them
your story. Let them decide what to do.
Good luck.
D.
I would have called the police before even approaching them. I know you're an EMT and maybe that colored how you approached the situation (from a medical perspective and helping them that way) but in our area if you call 911 then the police and an ambulance would have shown up. The father could have refused treatment right then and there, but both parties and you could have given your statements as well as your neighbor.
I would definitely let your insurance company know if it happened on your yard, especially in the even that there are injuries in any of the parties that weren't apparent at the scene. That's another reason to notify the police and file a report... for the sake of the father. Motorcyclists versus cars really need advocacy, and you have the information needed on that car that the father probably didn't think to write down or memorize. If he was afraid of that guy at the scene, he might very well be grateful for more than your medical attention.
