My little girl will be 3 in January. She used to take a creative 2's dance class when she turned 2, but then summer came, the class let out, and now that it's time to start up again she doesn't want to go! She loves little kids-- initially she is a little shy but then warms right up to them, or at least she used to! Lately she seems to stay close to me (almost pulling at my leg) whenever I try and introduce her to anyone she doesn't already know. Is this normal for this age? I don't want her to be shy going into kindergarten, but I don't really want to put her in a pre-school, just never really thought of that as something I wanted my kids in-- I am not opposed to a class for her (dance, soccer, etc.) but I don't want to force her.... any suggestions?
**Revision: I do have a 9 month old son so it does make it difficult sometimes to go to classes where parent participation is required...
I think it sounds pretty typical for that age. At two, she may not really remember the class she took a few months ago. I would keep getting her involved in that class as well as other public story times, art classes, etc. I would at least consider 4 y/o preschool in another year because honestly it really does help them get ready for K!
yes.. parent tot classes.. gymboree has classes moms stay. libraries have story time moms stay.
gymnastics classes moms stay.
my daughter was reaaaalllly shy.. but we did tons of parent tot things.. and she got more confident.. she went to kindergarten without a tear.
I did start her in preschool 2 days a week at 3. she cried for 6 drop offs then was fine.. I really recommmend preschool as it helps with the separation anxiety... also preschool is fun.. they love preschool. also... preschoool gives them a chance to catch germs.. so they can get some colds and other bugs so when kindergarten starts they are not sick all the time. The first year in school they will be sick alot so it might as well be preschool where attendance doesnt matter.
My kids were all shy at that age. I didn't give it much thought and I really didn't push them to join anything either. I did model friendliness to them. All of them grew out of it and all of them are very social. I wouldn't worry to much about it.
She has a long time to go before kindergarten. I would just roll with it, get her in a class or two that doesn't require you to attend. She will make friends and be fine. If she continues to have a hard time, set up a playdate with one or two of the little girls from the class so she can get to know them. If she has friends there, she will probably transition easier.
My DD is the same way and same age. I was told some good advice: don't say "she's shy" in front of her to others- it will then feel like "condition" and she'll internalize it. I never call her "shy" she just takes time to warm up to people, that's normal- I never force her to say "hi" or to give hugs or anything like that. I let her go at her own pace- after a few minutes, she's playing just like all the other kids. She's just sensitive to everything around her and she is in tune with people's energies. I put her in a preschool that's not too big, not too many kids and a good teacher to child ratio. also do a lot of playdates. If i know a particular playground is going to be crowded or loud, I take her earlier so she can feel comfortable there first, before it gets crowded and find that works well. also- my DD is like that in some classes and not in others so I think it's a matter of taste. She likes storytelling but not a group dance for instance. Maybe that will change later. good luck- I know it's not easy when she's pulling on your leg but it's perfectly normal and she'll be enjoying classes again before you know it.
Library story/craft time and taking her to the park to interact with other children her age is a first step. Talking and playing with them will bring her out, if even minimally.
And do consider preschool, without it she may actually start kindergarten off at a disadvantage compared to other children. Preschools work on social, fine motor, listening and more skills necessary to be successful in kindergarten and children are expected to have the skills. It's the new kindergarten, so to speak. Start with a few days a week, it will open up her world, what she learns the first 5 years of her life will stay with her forever.
Hi, M.:
Wait until next year.
Good luck.
D.
Developmentally.... kids go through stages.
So, they can go through stages of being not shy about anything, to stages of being "shy" about things.
It is all developmental based.
And "separation anxiety" as well, is not something that only babies have. It is something that even older kids or Toddlers go through, but at each age stage, it is expressed or manifested differently.
There is nothing "wrong" with being shy. And it also has to do with "stranger" anxiety too, which is normal. If a child never learns these things or just is friendly with anyone for example, that is not good either. In fact, a developmental Specialist once told me that, she would be more concerned about a child that didn't have 'fears' or was always friendly with everyone and any situation... than about a child that was "shy." Why? Because, it means that the child did not develop or learn... their own cues per social situations. And this is a very important thing.
Extroversion, does not make one kid better than the other.
Kids or people, do not have to be "friendly" with everyone.
And it ebbs and flows and varies.
This is normal.
ALL kids, go through this.
Normal.
I never forced nor expected... my kids to be friendly with everyone. They NEED to learn, their own cues too... and their own sense of boundaries. This is very important, so that they learn sefl-awareness and self-reliance. It has nothing to do with, confidence or not. It is also about trusting themselves... instead of just being made to have to interact because it is expected.
And being more "clingy" with Mom per certain ages and situations, is NORMAL as well.
A child, is always changing per cognition and per imagination and at this age... they are not even fully developed per emotions. They can't even explain their emotions, they don't even know the names for all emotions nor do they even know how to analyze social situations or cues etc.
So, all of this is normal. And "shyness" too.
Your daughter is only 2, almost 3.
That does not mean she will be like that forever nor in Kindergarten. A child changes so much per each age stage and developmental stage.
Normal.
LET her... know her own self, and her own cues.
My daughter for example, was like that when younger. But because I taught her to know herself and her own cues... she is very wise for her age and about discerning others and social situations. She is 9 now, and knows herself very well. SHE, chooses her friends and is not just having to be friendly with everyone in order to feel good about herself. And is very good socially. Because, she trusts herself and can make her own decisions about others and gauging... things socially.
My son was clingy at that age of 2. But not when he was younger. Normal. No biggie. Once he started Preschool and Kindergarten, he was very socially on par and adapted well. I went by his cues.
It is NORMAL, for any kid, to be apprehensive about others they do not know.
I would rather have a child that was aware of themselves, versus a kid that just goes up to anyone.
