A Little Encouragement?

Updated on August 10, 2012
K.H. asks from Tempe, AZ
10 answers

Hi all.... I know this is a silly post but I was hoping to get some advice. My husband and I are trying to have a second baby and it's not happening. We've tried for about 2 months and I'm not pregnant. Our first was conceived on the very first try so this feeling of being frustrated and disappointed is new to me. I know it can take a healthy couple anywhere from 6 months to a year to get pregnant but because it was so easy the first time, I think my expectations are a little skewed. How do you get past this and not get stressed? I know being stressed makes it more difficult. Thanks all for being such a great source of support and information!

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N.G.

answers from Dallas on

With my first, I was pregnant within the first month of trying. With my second, it took 1 1/2 years to get pregnant. With my third (I'm pregnant now), we got pregnant within days of trying. Point is, you never know. Two months is just getting started. I know how frustrating it can be, but just enjoy this exciting time of TTC, and having lots of sex with the hubby!! I focused on feeling sexy all the time... getting my toes & nails done, my hair cut, wearing matching lingerie, shaving/waxing, that kind of thing. Feeling pretty made me feel better that I was wanting a baby SO bad, RIGHT NOW!

Good luck, hope it happens very soon for you!

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B..

answers from Dallas on

Two months, is not "It's just not happening." Two months, is I JUST started!

Relax! Keep in mind that women often have hormone challenges, once they've had a baby. Have you had a workup with your OB, to make sure everything is normal? Otherwise, relax, and have fun. You are putting way too much pressure on this.

6 moms found this helpful

C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

K.:

It's not a silly post. It took my husband and I almost 4 years to get pregnant. And then I was pregnant 5 years in a row...with only two children to show for it.

The BEST advice I can give you? is to STOP TRYING. Have sex for fun and STOP being consumed with "TRYING" to get pregnant. Stop marking the calendar. Stop taking your temperature. Stop peeing on a stick if you are feeling "ANY" signs of pregnancy.

STOP. TRYING.

That is what we did - after FOUR YEARS!!! Not two months - and BAM!!! We were pregnant three months later. I KNOW it is hard. I KNOW it. But I can tell you from experience that you are putting SO MUCH pressure on your body that it is in "flight or fight" mode. Go back to having sex for fun.

HAVE FUN!!!

3 moms found this helpful

A.J.

answers from Williamsport on

"It's not happening" after 2 months? Is this a typo and you meant 22? It happened on the first try last time? Girlfriend, you'll be pregnant before 2013. I promise. Don't think about it! OR if you want to be very pro-active:

Abstain from sex for a few days before having intercourse on the 11th day after your period STARTS.
Have sex EVERY OTHER day for the next seven days.

If that doesn't work in one year you can go to a fertility specialist with confidence that things are not working. But don't worry, you'll be knocked up in no time!

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K.P.

answers from New York on

How can you get past this? Not sure, but I can suggest to you what my OBGYN suggested to us both times we wanted to get pregnant. He's kind of "old school", but we got pregnant very quickly (within 3 months) both times:
1. BOTH of you get a complete physical including blood work if you have not had one recently. According to him, the smallest imbalance can throw off your fertility and your husband's. Before TTC my first child, my Iron was very low so they had me on a supplement for two months before going off of the Pill.
2. Keep track of your cycle and the "signs" of fertility. I won't be graphic, but a Google search will let you know what to look for. If you are an irregular person, then you will need to pay attention to your body's signals that you have ovulated. You can use the OPKs too.
3. Have lots of sex. Don't schedule it, but make sure to have sex during the 2-3 days that you are fertile.

Enjoy eachother and don't talk about it too much. It ruins the intimacy and makes it stressful.

It will happen. It may take some time, but make sure that you are healthy and "regular" so that you don't have to guess on top of it all!

2 moms found this helpful

F.H.

answers from Phoenix on

Ok, this may be TMI but...do it doggie style then lay on your back and put your hips up in the air. =) Good luck! (and have fun!)

1 mom found this helpful
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S.H.

answers from St. Louis on

2 months the 1st time.
unknown the 2nd time, but a few months passed.
3 years the 3rd time.
3 years the 4th pregnancy.

Relax. If you hit closer to one year, then please pursue this with the dr!

1 mom found this helpful

I.W.

answers from Portland on

I know how you feel. We are ttc #2 right now. I have 11 days till I'm late & the wait is killing me, lol! This is our first month trying.

Good luck to you! Hopefully we will both be pregnant soon!

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S.R.

answers from Washington DC on

Well...I got pregnant when I was older, waited 6 years...we actually gave up and when I was in my mid 40's, I spontaneously conceived and now have my dd.

I've done a lot of research on this. Young healthy couples only have a 25% chance each month of conception. You really haven't been trying that long!

My best advice is to get on a prenatal vitamin, eat tons of vegetables, drink lots of water. These things regulate your cycle and improve your cervical mucus which facilitate conception. Hang in there. It will happen as long as you don't have any other medical issues going on.

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D.B.

answers from Fargo on

I use a website mymonthlycycles to track. I also have the book "Taking Charge of Your Fertility". This has helped me know "exactly" when I could get pregnant. We've been successful not getting pregnant and getting pregnant. When I was ttc #3 it took 2 cycles, I missed my 3rd period....and I thought that was forever. You don't mention how old you are.....age does play a factor. Right now we have thrown caution to the wind, we want a #4 but don't want the pressure. I'm older now, very soon to be 38. My husband is gone during the week so that doesn't help. But the last 2 cycles I was fertile (not planning our anything but it hard not to) on the weekend and it didn't happen. A lot of it could be my age and it may never happen again for us, in which case I have 3 beautiful girls. If it does happen we'd be ecstatic. Good luck to you.

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