Adjusting to Life as a Mom of 2...how Was It for You?

Two honestly was the worst for me. I was overwhelmed. Outta hands and arms and I didnt want to ask for help. I felt I had to prove I was up to the challenge.

Then I got real...Realized gone were the days I could just go do anything(even with one kiddo this was easy...one was a cake walk now that i think back to it)..gone were the days I could be super woman and do everything.

I started asking for help. Whether it was dinner at the parents house or a night off. I took what I could.

It was not long after getting well adjusted with two..and even back to work...when I found out about number three. My middle guy was only 7 months old when I found out about the third:) so the processing time was sped up....only to have to learn to adapt with three(which was easy cheesy)

I will say after having the first I was not as scared of breaking the second and third. I knew what to do in the event of an emergency situation....With my first we were at the ER like 6 times in the first month because we kept thinking we had broke him.

Hard. I have 4 kids and going from one to two was the hardest transition. I cried many days especially when I was lacking sleep. It gets easier and is old hat before you know it!

wow...this was me about a month ago...i now have a 29 month old and 3 month old, both girls. i would say in the last couple weeks we have finally gotten into a good rhythm and things feel normal. the first few weeks was just getting used to having a newborn again, and my husband was home and my mom was here helping. then my husband went back to work, mom left, and we really had to figure it out, just the 3 of us. there were times when i just walked around the house with a crying baby, crying myself! feeling tired, overwhelmed, guilty for putting my 2 year old in front of a movie (her fave, no doubt she LOVED it) when i was needed by the baby...i even thought maybe i had post-partum or something. i missed the life i had before with my first, and at the same time, felt bad that i would never really have that experience of giving 100% of myself to my second. my 2 year old has always been nice to the baby, but has become SO clingy with me, which i think will be a challenge since she's starting pre-school 2 days a week next week. but, as with most things, time has helped a lot. now i am really beginning to enjoy spending time with them together, and feel like my family is complete :-) i really can't wait until they can entertain eachother, and i can sit back and take a load off (does that ever really happen?)...congrats and you will enjoy!

it was and still is pretty hard. My kids are 20 months apart, the baby is about to turn a year old next month. The first few weeks were the easiest because the baby slept all the time (she was only awake for about 2 hours a day the first 3 or 4 weeks) and I just kept her in my sleepy wrap or maya wrap all day while i took my 21 month old to the park, beach, playgroup, etc. It got really difficult when she started "waking up" and napping sporadically all day (20 minute naps 5x a day). It's still really hard now since both of my kids are pretty clingy--my toddler has never been an independent player and really thinks he needs constant attention/interaction from the second his eyelids peep open in the morning. I'm pretty sure we aren't having any more kids, two is more than enough for us. It does get easier in some ways but it also gets harder in others. Once your hormones subside, everything seems much more manageable though and you won't want to cry every day. I remember on my baby's 3-month "birthday" I posted on facebook that I went the whole day without crying, and how huge of a milestone it was. Hang in there, Mama. And congratulations!

My second baby was needy (jeez..she still is) anyway - the first 2 yrs of her life are kind of a blur of pj days and a dirty house. I was a SAHM and just went with it. I made sure the kids were fed and loved and tried not to totally ignore my husband. When my youngest started taking more regular naps, I would clean part time and teach my oldest to play board games the rest of the time so he could have some quality time with me. It is a frustrating time when you are neck deep in it, but just relax and go with it. Kids don't remember if the house was spotless or the laundry done on time......they actually hardly remember anything before age 4 :)
So go ahead and cry.....because it's not just the first few early weeks that are hard :)

Really hard, for me. I still haven't adjusted, and my little one just turned 1.
I have a hard time managing both of them out in public. My 3yr is the kind that just runs off, so I've never gotten good at not being a ball of stress with both of them out.

As babies? It was pretty easy once we had a routine, and that came at about 7 weeks.
Up until to that point, it was a lot of back and forth. I had to remind myself that my (then) 2yr old was still only 2, and he needed me as much as the baby did.

You'll get there once we find a routine. Hang in there mom.

HORRIBLE!

No, seriously. I cried, a lot. It gets so much better. I couldn't believe how difficult it was for us to go from one to two. I felt so stressed!

I know you will hear this a lot, but it will and does get so much easier and better.

Our kids were similar age as your... 20 months apart. The early weeks weren't as hard because my son slept a lot as an infant, but it got exponentially harder having 2 kids than 1. I don't want to discourage you, because it does get easier and really great having kids this close together. The first years were a blur... but when they start to play together and are on the same schedule it's terrific.

Mine are now 6 and 71/2 and they are really great friends. They still have their sibling "stuff" but I'm really glad we had them as close together as we did.

Just take it day by day, Mama, and try to rest when you can. The housecleaning and laundry will still be there if you take a nap.

1little1, you are going to have to change your screen name.

When my boy Sam came along, my daughter Linney was just shy of 3 years old. Sam was not a good sleeper. It was very rough for the whole family. I look back on it now and realize that I spent the good part of his first year in a kind of sleep-deprived stupor. It was much, much harder than one. Because you also have to be a functioning human to your older child. Sometimes you just can't function.

After the six month period, around the time Sam was to start learning to soothe himself, I still jumped for him. I hated the idea of him waking his older sister. So he'd peep, and I'd be at his cribside. Every time. When in fact, Linney was such a great sleeper, she probably wouldn't have stirred. But doing this, I sabatoged us all. Sam never learned to soothe himself and as a result, took him almost into his 3rd birthday before he slept through the night. It was horrible. If he wasn't so darned cute ...

He's making up for it now. I can tuck him into bed and he's out in less than five minutes. It's awesome.

But I remember that time. How hard it is. Please cut yourself a little slack. It's brutal. Don't get me wrong, it's breathtakingly lovely and a single look into your infant's eyes can show you every answer to every question you've ever had blah blah blah... But it's brutal. You're tired. You're spent. Your emotions are as fragile as a toothpick. But it will change. You will change. Your children will change. It will one day be easier and you too will look back on this time with pride that you've made it through.

Good luck to you. Please remember to take care of yourself. Ask for help. Ask family to come over just to sit with the kids while you take a nap. I'm serious. Be gentle with yourself. I promise you'll get through it.

I personally thought the adjustment was MUCH harder going from 1 to 2 than 0 to 1. Ours were 15 mos apart - the older in a bodycast for hip dysplasia, the baby was in the NICU (lung issues) and I'd had a c-section. It seemed exponentially more work with two, and I was SO MUCH more tired. HOWEVER... you do adjust, it gets so much better... and watching them develop a relationship (which is sometimes fighting..) has been wonderful. Wouldn't change it for the world. Time also seems to go faster with two. Maybe it's just b/c you are so busy. Hang in there, and as much as you can be gentle on yourself... just play more, let the house be messy and rest when you can.

I thought going from 1 to 2 was harder than 0 to 1. It took about 6 weeks to get into a rhythm and things started getting easier. I am now expecting #3 so we will see how this goes but I feel like it will be easier than 1 to 2 because I am already used to dividing my time and attention.

I am in the same situation right now. We have a 26 month old and a 4 month old. Already it is getting better. It was very hard in the beginning and we still have our days, but what I did to get thru the early wks was ask for help. Don't try to do it all on your own. Ask for help and get some sleep. (I know, easier said than done :). Also I find that planning and routine helped me out alot when I was home on mat leave. I would plan the day and basically stick to that schedule for awhile...something that works with your kids schedules...ex. breakfast 8am (oldest)..sametime feed youngest. Play outside 9-11 (youngest sleep/hang out) oldest play with. 11:30 lunch than nap from 12:00-2:00...during naptime I would try and get youngest to sleep at same time...and NAP. Don't do anything, just relax...etc. Once I had a routine figured out that worked for us...I stuck to it everyday. I found it way easier and less stressful for me when I knew what to expect everyday.
Good luck!

I had a lot of guilt regarding my oldest not being the baby anymore, but the transition was pretty smooth, luckily my oldest has always been very mature and easygoing. Now that i am having my third i am worried about that guilt again. But we all figure it out.

The first couple weeks were okay because the baby was a great sleeper. Then around 3 months, things got harder. She slept less (ALOT less, she sleeps less than my toddler actually). Like you, some days its relatively easily and then . . . well .... then there are days when it's 9:00 am and I am already out of patience and screaming. It's just the nature of having two little ones (mine are 5 months and 20 months).

it is hard.. newborns are a lot of work. my kids are 18 months apart.. and those early months were rough.

If you can afford it.. hire help.. someone to come over and lend a hand a few hours a day or a few days a week.. do you have a grandma nearby?

I never did errands with 2 kids. I had a nanny come once a week and did all of my errands while nanny was here.

I must be the odd man out here. Going from 1 to 2 for us was easy. Our oldest was 17 months old when I had his little sister. She was an "easy" newborn though, I guess I got lucky.

Now that we are expecting number 3, I am really worried about that. We have one in pre-school and one going through the terrible two's.

Going to 2 was a breeze. My first had colic for 6 mos, but #2 was a delight. I did get a really bad MRSA infection for the first 3 mos of her life, but my hubby was a huge help and I had a lot of family support. My son, who was 4 at the time, was such a good boy throughout all of the adjustment. I think its easier when there is a little age between 1 and 2 also. 4 years was just perfect!