My sister is 13 months older than me. We have always, and still are very close. I lost my son's father in a car accident in 1991 when my son was 8. He will be 29 this year. The other night we were out to dinner and we were all joking around, and she asked my son what would he do if he found out that his father was not his father. (untrue) He said it would be a life changing event. I didn't wanna speak up because I didn't want my son to think that I was trying to shut my sister up. Long story short, I said how do you think Brian (her husband) would feel if he found out you cheated on him the first year you were married? (true)....I still don't know why she said that but I guess I did shut her up in a strange sort of way. Wonder what possessed her to say this? Not funny.
What the hell? What an awful thing to say. My dad is dead and if someone ever said that to me, I would probably punch them in the face. Really though, it sounds like it's about time her dirty laundry got aired out.
Kendall,
Yep, I think you hit the nail on the head: immature. Why would either of you bring these things up? Would it have sufficed to have just looked at her and said "Why on earth would you suggest such a hurtful thing if you know it isn't true? What are you on about?"
Maybe it would be good to talk with someone about the upset and anger your family seems to be causing you, because you have had a lot of posts about it. I only say this because it seems that some very little things seem like 'big' things in your posts, or that you seem confused by how others in your family parent. (The nephew sitting on the baby is admittedly not included in the 'little things'.) The conversation you sited isn't typical for most siblings; I have somewhat strained relationships with two of my sisters, and we'd never ever talk to each other in that way. Perhaps you are enmeshed with your sister and her family members? I'm not suggesting this to be mean, just simply that you seem to be giving them a lot of your attention. Perhaps some space would be a good thing, or examining why you feel so concerned with their goings on... I think some distance might make you happier.(?)
As for what possessed her to say that...who knows? It sounds, though, like your son handled the situation with some class.;)
You were both being mean. Her to your son and you to her husband. A little too much competition left over from your childhood?
Both of you should grow up. All you had to say to her was. "You know it isn't so and it is a cruel question as it might hurt my son who had to grow up without a father."
I think you are both a couple of sick chicks! How sad for your son and her husband. Good that you and your sis are close, you may end up together, alone. The only thing I find appropriate about your posting is, you are SO right, NOT FUNNY!
Remember two wrongs don't make a right! Two WRIGHTS make an airplane. Under different circumstances that would be considered funny....not in this one.
You should probably know by now, from the sounds of it, that your sister has no "filter" and apparently can't keep her big yap shut. She probably enjoys the attention she gets from saying things like that and stirring the pot. Maybe snapping back at her like you did will finally get her to get a clue. Or just asking her, "Why would you ask/say something like that?"
.
I agree with Hazel as far as what you should have said but don't take that in any way as a criticism because we can beat ourselves up with "I should have said", or "I wish I had said".... It is also so hard to take the high or proper road when it is your sister and they act like she did or you are caught off guard! I also think because she was unfaithful, to make herself feel better she projected it onto you. I'm going to try to remember a good question is always "Why?" said in a non defensive or non confrontational way when someone acts immature or inappropriate. If nothing else comes to mind, stone cold silence and a blank stare can get your point accross too ;-).
"Wonder what possessed her to say this?" Maybe a....demon? What was she thinking? Does she have children?
Hello, I can't even imagine saying something like what your sister said. She may have planted a seed in your son's head to make him think that his father was not his father. How cruel.
I went through something with my youngest sister this last year that made me so upset that I can't even talk to her right now. I had to wait months to even confront her. My husband died suddenly has year in March. Much of my family lives back east. My sister made a comment to another family member after my husband died that sent me over the edge. She told this person, "Thank God it wasn't someone close." I had been married to my husband for 43 years. How close would she like for him to be. In September, I took a road trip with my older sister to where some of my family lives. My younger sister couldn't be there because she had to go on a motorcycle trip with her boyfriend. She showed up at the last minute for a dinner (and got a free meal). She had the nerve to come over to me and ask how I was doing. I snapped my head at her and told her that I was just fine. I didn't speak to her after that. After that she also made some comments about how even though we had also lost three aunts the same year, at least they were old. I don't know how old you are when you become disposable, but I was very devastated at the loss of all of them. One had died a month before my husband and was like a second mother to me. A couple of months ago, she made some statements on facebook that finally did it. I ended up confronting her in a private message. She actually kind of blew off the remark saying that she meant that at least it wasn't our father. GRRRRRRRRRRR!! She is about to get married for the fourth time. They are coming close to the state where my sister and I live with our families. She and the new one won't come to our state because they can't carry a concealed weapon. I say great, stay away. Sorry I had to vent.
Good luck with your precious son.
K. K.
Ask her (when it's just the two of you). Sounds like you need to discuss this.
Does your sister have a child? If she's cheated, perhaps Brian is not the father, and she's thinking about how it will affect her child if they were to find out...?
Maybe her 1st born might not be her husband's child, (affair) and she was seeing how it would affect someone to find out.
