Am I over Reacting? - Chandler,AZ

ya' think? You're in the middle of a boohoo Mom moment & the 2 men involved are acting like children. YES, you're overreacting....

& you all need to grow up. What do you think all of this pranking is doing to the kids? When they hit high school.....will you all think it's still funny when you get pulled into the principal's office? Just saying....find a charity & spent an equal amount of time on it.

& I want you to know....this is one of my very, very RARE snarky comments. I'm spending most of my time helping a young woman beat cancer & my son achieve Eagle Scout.....& you're wondering if you're overreacting. Geez.

Just as a side note, FB seems to be a catalyst in so many "problems"... That is one of the many reasons I don't have it. It also would take time away from much more important things.

totally overreacting...

kids do not care about food. I could put steak from japan on the table the kind of steak where they massage the cow every day.. and the kids would not care.. do not make special food for kids.. kraft mac and cheese is good for kids..

It's all fun and games till somebody's meatballs get hurt.

Put that on facebook.

Yes, you are overreacting. And I think your neighbor's prank of throwing you under the Facebook bus is actually quite hilarious.

But back to you. I think you should tell your husband and kids to call a temporary stop to the pranks. It seems they have gone as far as they need to go.

As for your meal, if it was tasty, make it again on a special occasion when you know everyone will appreciate it. Sorry you had a bad day. Treat yourself to a glass of wine tonight and have the hubby and kids to the dishes :-)

If you're mad that your husband's mad at you for "ruining" the prank, you're not overreacting. It sounds like it was your husband who really overreacted. He got mad at you over a prank?!?! He must be super competitive. And he believed his neighbor over his wife? That's just not right. And you're not speaking to each other over this? That's just ridiculous.

It's awesome that you have a wonderful relationship with your neighbor (at least for now), but with this back and forth pranking, someone's gonna get hurt. I would tone things down with the pranks, because it could get out of hand.

Yes, but your feelings were hurt, so I don't want my "yes" to sound dismissive. I know that this is more of a vent than anything. You know full well that you can't expect anyone to read your mind. You know full well that you have to tell your husband how you slaved away at dinner and no one cared. You have to tell your husband that you're offended that he got mad at you over something you didn't do. Have you talked to him about any of it yet? I think when you do, you'll feel better. :)

And next time they aren't grateful for your efforts for a "big" meal, speak up. No shame in demanding that your family show some gratitude for your hard work.

Hmmm ... seems like the pranks might be getting a little out of hand. Possibly time to call a truce. Especially when the pranks start turning in to lies that make people angry, not laugh.

I read through this lengthy post waiting for the big ZINGER . . . and failed to see anything that seemed like a big deal.

As someone else mentioned you were probably hurt about the dinner and it snow-balled from there.

I would lighten up and go back to the canned sauce and ground beef, and call it a day. Obviously your family does not consist of connoisseurs of fine food. :)

JMO.

Are your children OK today?
Is your husband in decent health and able to provide for your family?
Do you have a roof over your head and food for your kids?

How about some perspective here.

You're worked up over the lack of proper respect for your home cooking and you and husband both are getting in a twist over blasted Facebook? Truly? Please take the time you'd spend posting on Facebook (or here!) and apologize to the neighbor in person, not via some message, and tell your husband you and he are going out tonight like grown-ups to make up and LAUGH about all this juvenile nonsense. Then come home and close down your Facebook and plan a peacemaking barbecue with the neighbors and create a joint Packers/Cardinals theme for it.

Seriously, please look at the bigger picture and see how fortunate you ALL are today and every day.

Is it me or..... good lord, who has time for all those pranks?!?! I mean, I live in a fun neighborhood with lots of cool people, but pranking that much? I'm exhausted just thinking about it.

To answer your question, yes, you're over reacting. Every wife knows that if she spent that much time in the kitchen (especially since it's not something you usually do) she needs to TELL her husband. My whole family would have been the same way. Maybe preface dinner with, "I spent 5 hours on dinner tonight, can we please all savor it?" You can say it jokingly of course, but hubs should get the idea.

And I think the FB thing probably IS the prank. That's why your neighbor is "dying right now." Seriously, cool it on the daily pranks. Someone is bound to get hurt!

Stop messaging your neighbor on FB. Your issue is with your hubby not your neighbor. It's a prank. They've been pranking back and forth. Deal with the issue that's really bothering you; your husband's lack of consideration to your hard work and his quickness to take the neighbor's word over yours.

I would talk to DH. Say that 1. you felt unappreciated with how fast they ate dinner for this prank, 2. you can show him your FB page where you didn't post anything and 3. You think the pranks have gone too far. I think that your neighbor thinking it's funny to make you and DH fight and lying about a post is ridiculous and I would just be the wet blanket and say that's enough. It is no longer funny when it is mean.

Here's my take.

Yes, you are overreacting, because it all stems from your slaving over dinner only to have them not notice. That is really the crux of it TO YOU. That is normal. Really. That kind of stuff happens all the time! It could've just as easily been a football game on TV they were rushing through dinner for. The pranks are irrelevant to the dinner issue.

The FB thing? Hmm... sounds like it is part and parcel with the pranking they are doing to each other. And frankly, it sounds rather juvenile to me. Eventually (probably sooner rather than later) someone is going to go too far and something bad will happen and there will be a big blow up. You and your friendship with your neighbors will never be the same and your lives living next door to them will become hell.

I'd put a stop to the pranks right now. Before it goes really wrong and your existence in your quaint, friendly, little culd-de-sac is forever changed.

I read all this for nothing.....you are soooooo overreacting

Short answer: Yep. You are. Especially with the neighbor. He didn't do anything to warrant your pissiness.

Yes, your over reacting. They are having fun with the pranks.

As far as the homemade meatballs and sauce...........if your family didn't notice or rave about it I certainly wouldn't spend the time to do it again. Don't let it hurt your feelings some people just don't notice much of a difference in homemade verses a bottle of sauce. For instance I don't mind a bottle of sauce but my husband grew up with his italian mother only making homemade sauce so it is a big deal to him. Chalk it up to trying something new that didn't work out exactly like you would have liked and move on.

Yes, I think so. I think your husband is also overreacting. I mean really, you all are grown adults. A prank every now and then is one thing - but this constant stuff would get on my nerves. Sounds like everyone needs to grow up a bit.

Yes, I think you are over reacting.. go back in two weeks, re-read this post and see that it's all over the little things in life... fights over sauce, facebook, pranks.... someone not saying, I loved your sauce... it's all minutia...
if you feel unappreciated, then speak up.. If facebook is a hassle in terms of miscommunication, delete your account.. to me, this is all solvable stuff..
People constantly over complicate their lives over the littlest of things..

Show him your facebook and ask for an apology. Simple. As for the meal, does your family usually make a big deal over what you make for dinner, or do they normally just eat what they are given without complaint? He did compliment you on the meatballs...

Um, yes...

Pranking is a form of teasing, and teasing is iffy at *best*. I hate it myself, but some folks can live with it.

If you two families must prank one another, lay down some rules about it. Make boundaries for the mischief, so that it doesn't turn to meanness and tears.

Take your husband out on a date tonight if you can. Talk about this, and laugh about it. Honestly, it sounds like a script for the old Cosby Show sitcom.

And make the meatballs another night, when there's no such teasing happening. The poor food didn't have a chance compared to the other goings-on.

J.:

here's my take...

the "pranking" has gone too far. It's no longer fun - it's personal. It needs to STOP. NOW. Your husband is a grown man - not a teenager. These are teenager actions - not adult actions...I get one prank - but a series? ENOUGH.

Your husband needs to stop. RIGHT NOW. STOP. He owes you an apology for accusing you of something you didn't do. I realize that even if you showed him your facebook page - it doesn't show what you have deleted or removed - so that would be a waste of time.

As to dinner? Yes. You are over-reacting. It's a meal. I "GET" that you prepared from scratch - but really? It's like you expected confetti and high-fives...sorry - really not trying to be mean - but that's how it sounds.

Tell your husband the pranking is CHILD'S PLAY. HE IS AN ADULT. I get fun...love fun!! BUT ENOUGH already!!

Good luck!

Mom's first reality: no one ever appreciates your efforts in cooking as much as we other moms do.

My question is, why didn't you stop your husband last night and say "hey, wait a minute. This is dinnertime and our family time. I'd like you all to stick around." If you don't *tell* them how you are feeling, how can you be mad at them for not being considerate of your feelings?

As for the rest of it: the pranks, the Facebook, etc-- it's all very childish. Call a truce with the neighbors and tell them it's time to just let it go. Seriously-- if this is coming between you and your husband, it's not fun any more, right? Do you want to place blame or solve the problem?

Now, give this no more of your attention and try to do something more productive with your day.

Forget about the neighbor, he didn't do anything wrong and he didn't "throw you under the bus". You have all been pranking each other and if you dish it out, you have to be able to take it.

Now, on the other hand, your husband is a whining baby. Tell him that you are upset that he blamed you for something you didn't do and that you can prove it to him.......unless, did your 12 year old post something to your page?

I can see being irritated at your husband for behaving like an immature brat, but being pissed at the neighbor is definitely overreacting.

You ARE overreacting about the meal, but, you ARE NOT overreacting about the prank.

The meal:

For your own self-preservation - you really shouldn't spend so much time on a meal without TELLING someone.

There are a million reasons why hubby and kids might rush through a meal, especially on a weeknight. Lots of homework? Late night conference call for work? The ONLY reasons to honestly expect them to use good etiquette to "savor" your cooking and "compliment the chef" is (a) if it is a special occasion (Thanksgiving, etc), or (b) if you beat them over the head with some statements to that effect - "I tried a new meatball recipe today!" "Wow, these fresh meatballs took me three hours to make...but they sure are tasty, right?"

You got upset because their reason for rushing and ignoring the food was the silly prank.

The prank:

That stuff all sounds ridiculous. Tell hubby he needs to stop this stuff and apologize to you for his childish attitude this morning. No more pranks.

Yes and no. It's time to put out the white flag before the pranking gets out and someone (else) gets hurt. Put down some rules, limit the time of year the pranks can be done and the scope of the pranks. This should encourage creativity, not squash it.

Then talk to your husband. He shouldn't be mad about something he didn't bother to confirm to be true. He also shouldn't be so emotionally invested in the prank that he puts it above his relationship with you.

But the dinner...... you should have spoken up and told them that the meal was important to you and that all pranking was going to wait until after EVERYONE was finished eating. Husbands (and kids) are notoriously bad at mind reading.

Yes, you are way overreacting. Would it have been nice for them to be more appreciative of the time you spent cooking, of course, but most families are the same. If you did not like the dinner talk you should have spoken up and said "Hey, I spent a lot of time on this meal and I would appreciate it if we could enjoy it and talk about the pranking after".

We all see things through our own lenses. You were focused on the food because you spent all day working on it. The rest of the family did not, so their focus was on other things, that is normal. I find it helps if I am getting butt hurt about something to stop and try to see the situation through the other persons eyes, and then speak up if I feel I deserve more/better then I am getting.

Wow! Talk about juvenile! This is why I hate pranks. I don't think you're overreacting, per se, but I don't think he'll see your side of things. I think pranks are a dangerous thing to get involved in. It starts all in fun, but inevitably someone gets hurt - either the person who is the victim or someone standing by, as you are.

Simple to prove. Show hubby your FB page. This is likely the prank. Getting you guys mad at each other.

So much can be avoided just by staying off Facebook.

As for the spaghetti - my friend had something similar happen.
One year she decided she was going to make pumpkin pie from scratch.
She got the pumpkin, cut it up, steamed it, pureed it, seasoned it, made crust from scratch, put it all together, baked it up and set it out to cool.
All in all it took her something like 6 hours.
It was cooling well and she wanted to serve it as dessert after supper.
So she goes to take a shower and while she's doing that her husband comes home (he's a construction contractor - he works hard and is always coming home really hungry) - he sees the pie and he eats it right then and there.
My friend comes into the kitchen just as he's finishing it off and he says "That was good! Where's the other one for after supper?".
She was SO PISSED!
She spent all day on it and it was gone just like that.
She's glad she did it once, but she does it from a can from then forward.
It's just as good and it doesn't take all day.

Things have gotten out of hand. Stop the pranks now.

You might be a little sensitive but I really think your husband is acting like a 12 year old. IMO.

Well, you might be being sensitive, because if the circumstances for their rushing had been something you thought was important, you might not be as annoyed. But since it's something that you're not into or impressed with, it feels more hurtful than it actually is.

Your hubby's behaving like a child re. the facebook thing. And if hubby can see your facebook page, he can see what you posted. So there's actual proof that you can call him with on his childishness. Find your posts for that time period on your time line. Print it and just give him "the look". If he's a man, he should apologize. Put the dinner behind you.

About the dinner, you are overreacting. HOWEVER, the pranking needs to stop. Give your husband sandwiches until there are no more pranks. I mean it. When he asks why, tell him that he is acting like a child with the pranks and if he's going to wolf down food that you've spent hours preparing because ALL he can think about is pranking, then he can just wolf down sandwiches like the child he is acting like.

If I were you, I'd talk to the wife of the neighbors. Tell her that this pranking thing is starting to eat at you and cause tension between you and your husband and hurt your marriage. Be serious and honest with her. I promise you that someone is going to get hurt and someone is going to get angry. It will RUIN your friendship. These people are neighbors and you aren't going to be able to stay away from them when the you-know-what hits the fan.

SOMEONE has to be the adult here. Your husband is not being one. Put the brakes on now before there is hell to pay.

You are over reacting but I do understand your frustration at both the family for ignoring the effort you put into dinner, not helping with clean up, and assuming you gave away their prank.

Did you post anything about them pranking (even if it wasn't specific)? If not, it would seem that the neighbor is once again pranking your hubby.

Sorry that your evening didn't go as planned....sigh.

As for the yummy homemade dinner. I know you were excited to treat your family to such a delicious feast...but really they don't care as much as you do. Please don't set yourself up for another let down. Don't make a meal for your family because you expect them to be in awe and overly appreciative.

I can spend hours preparing a yummy meal and I get very little positive feedback. Then I can spend 10 minutes on some hot dogs and oven fries and they rave about the meal and think I am America's next up and coming chef.

So, don't expect ooohs and ahhhhs over your kitchen creations. If I want feedback then I ask them what they think. I say c'mon kids...tell me I am the best mom in the world for making this __________________ meal. We get some laughs and they think for a moment about the time I put into putting the meal on the table.

As for the prank. I can see how grown men find this funny and the kids get into it. But..now it has caused a rift in the harmony in your home and with your neighbor.

If you are being totally honest about not getting on facebook and saying ANYTHING that could have tipped off the neighbor about the upcoming prank then you need to talk to your husband. He had absolutely no right to get mad at you and be angry. You need to tell him that you expect an apology for that...he was in the wrong.

Sorry you had such a crappy evening...hope you have better days ahead.

I'm glad you were able to vent here because REALLY?