My 3 month old daughter seems to only let myself and her father hold her. she will scream her head off if someone else goes to pick her up. She will be fine if shes playing on her kick and crawl or just laying on the couch, but if someone actually goes to pick her up.....boy she screams like theres no tomorrow. I will take her back and she will immediately stop.
Has anyone experienced this and if so, what did you do?
Im being told I spoil her too much and thats why she does not want to go to anyone else.
I dont think you can spoil a 3 month old.
I dont hold her all the time, she has tummy time, and swing time and actually sits in a car seat and watches baby movies.....
Thank you all for the advise. Emily is now almost 7 months old and is doing great with others now. She lets others hold her when Im around which is wonderful. I still have not left her with anyone besides my husband but Im working my way up to that....
It's perfectly normal that she prefers her parents! I know you may feel bad when she cries at Grandma or whoever but just give her time and she'll probably warm up to them. Don't let anyone convince you that this is because you're doing something wrong. You can't spoil a 3 month old. It could just be her personality, that she's a little shy around people she doesn't know very well.
Hi!
My husband and I have and sometimes still go through the same thing. I do not think it has anything to do with holding your baby too much or too little. My son is now 7 months old and he will still does this occasionally. My husband and I do not talk real loud so when he is around people (especially males) that have loud voices, it scares him and he starts to cry. He is getting better now that he is getting a little older and is around people more. I think your daughter will grow out of it. I would not stress out about it and when people tell you that you are spoiling your child, just smile and move on. You know what is best for your daughter. Good luck
D.
I wouldn't worry too much about you baby only wanting your or daddy. My daughter went through the same thing until 6 mos old.(Shes 4 yrs now). Her Pediatrician told us it was normal and that when she is ready she will feel more comfortable to spend more time away from her parents. It drove our families crazy and we were told the same things as you are. Just keep doing what you are doing because you can't spoil a child that is under 6 mos old in my opinion. Now our daughter is the most outgoing self confident 4 year old in her class! (most of the other kids are 5 - 6 years)
My daugter started this at about 3 or four months. She still does it at 8M. I believe it is stranger anxiety or separation anxiety. I consider it to be a safety or survival instinct. Not an expert though on infant behavior. My friend says she needs to get used to strangers, but i think i would never require that my daughter go with anyone who makes her uncomfortable or scared. It is a good life lesson for all ages of girls and women.
My daughter is now being selective of who she will go with. So far only two people.
I have read that to help your daughter possibly overcome her fear, hold her and carry on a conversation with somebody to let her see the person is not a threat. maybe that person could offer her a toy that she likes.
Don't let people tell you that you need to force your daughter not to be shy. (some say babies like ours are shy) I am actually quite shy abut making friends, but I have never had a friend stab me in the back. I have also never dated any wierdos. I ended up marrying the man of my dreams. Being shy has really just enabled me to be selective about who I surround myself with.
It is also a known fact that you cannot spoil an infant. You know what is best for your daughter, and you need to trust yourself.
I went to askdrsears.com and searched "stranger anxiety". Three results came up
1. Separation anxiety
2. AP stories
3. The clingy baby
I was not able to open any of these as my internet can be very slow, but i think you may find some help in either or all of them.
Good luck.
Shannon M
I have a 3 month old. My husband and I work full time so we leave her with my sister during the day. She acts perfectly normal with my sister and her family when we are not around. However if one of us is in the room she does not want to be held by anybody but us. We live at my in laws and she has this behavior as well with her grandparent and aunts. I suspect that she is showing us that she'd rather be held by Mommy and Daddy than by anybody else.
Hi
I agree with Emily C's advice. I just want to add that it is probably BECAUSE you do not hold her enought (you say: I dont hold her all the time, she has tummy time, and swing time and actually sits in a car seat and watches baby movies...). You should hold her more even wear her in a sling that where she wants to be, with her mom. Your baby needs you, she is very small still. This is very important for her developpment. I woould also reduce TV to a strict, strict minimum.
Hope this will help.
O my yes my 2nd was like this! My first we did hold alot so when I had my daughter 16mos later I was determined to not hold her as much. The first 6 weeks were great but after that she would not let anyone look or hold her besides us! her father and myslef of course! He worked 12 hr days so I was literally at wits end. My daughter was alao a little colicky but she was a good year before she actually allowed many people to hold her. Honestly what helped my daughter the most was day care. She did not go till she was 13mos old everyone says how much better she is with people in general. I know part of it is she is older but I think it has helped. I can relate to you and wish you well. I don't think you are spoling her its just her temperment. EVRYONE told me my daughter was spoiled but I did not hold her all the time. I couldn't I had my son and mounbtains of housework!LOL Good luck.
both of my kids were the same way, except my daughter never met her father so it was always just me she wanted. she would even scream if i tried to hold her older brother and give him some cuddle time (altho i think it might also have been becuz im nursing, and she can 'smell' me). i was also told, with my son, that i held him too much, i spoiled him, etc.! i nursed him and held him but most of the time i did like what you did, stick him in a swing or something and let him watch a movie or me clean. it may not be much help, but i believe she'll grow out of it. both of my kids have... finally! my son is now 27mo and is finally likeing being around other people. could it be possible she was hurt or held 'wrong' while someone else held her before? could she be teething or growing through a growth spurt? maybe a type of stranger anxiety?
My son went through the same thing...no one could watch him because he would scream until we came back through the door, no matter how long we were gone...we found that bringing him around everyone more and more, it wore off and now when we leave him, he'll cry until we are out of sight and then he'll be fine all day. Trust me I know what you are going through...its hard, but you just have to take "baby steps" with it...it will pass!
