K.F.
I'm 45 and still trying to have children with my husband. I believe it is a personal decision. Everything about children can be challenging if you don't have the temperment for it.
good morning mamas! so just a quick question this morning - do you have a cut off age in your mind that you absolutely would not have any more kids?
physical limitations, financial, other children getting older, etc...
what do you think?
I'm 45 and still trying to have children with my husband. I believe it is a personal decision. Everything about children can be challenging if you don't have the temperment for it.
I had my 3rd at 26 and I am 31 now and I can't see myself having anymore kids. I do NOT want to do the baby thing again. I am enjoying all the things we can do together now that they are older and I do not want to go back to having to deal with the baby stages.
I had my daughter when I was 19. I always said 30 was my cutoff, but now that I'm in a better relationship with someone who wants kids, I'm thinking 40 is my new cutoff. I'm 35 & we plan to start ttc in the fall.
My age was 40. I just had my S. son at 41. Never say never.
I first said 25 because under 25 pregnancies are so easy. Then I said 35 because older than that the risks increase. We had our last when I was 33 and it was so HARD being pregnant then compared to the 3 I had before I was 25. Now I'm 45, almost 46 and there's no way my husband would ever agree. But I really wish we could do it again.
I had mine at 25, 26 & 27 and am 31 (and pregnant) now and will still be 31 when the baby is born. My absolute cutoff was 30- obviously that didn't work out for me :) After this baby is born, we are 110% finished and will be taking permanent measures to ensure it. I wanted to have my kids young and I am so glad that I have. I cannot imagine just starting out now, as a lot of my acquaintances are. I always looked at it like this- there is only a small window of time that you can have successful, healthy pregnancies, but you have your entire life to finish education/build a career. Having kids younger is not for everyone, but I would do it over again in a heartbeat!
I think that's totally an individual decision. So many factors come into play. My "magic" age was 42. Not sure why, that was just it.
I am almost 40 and we are trying for our third and last. I'm sure having a baby would have been easier at 25, but my last one, at 38, was super easy. The pregnancy was even easy. I'm hoping my third is even easier. It's possible ;-)
I absolutely will not have any more kids (I have one). But I did not decide I wanted one until I was 39. He was born when I was 40, DH was 45.
I was way more financially secure as well as secure in my career at that point. I cannot even imagine having one (or more) in my 20s. Being an entry level professional and trying to balance that with an infant would have been vastly harder than being a firmly established professional and business owner.
I am uncertain about your question on financial concerns. I assume most people are much more financially secure, have paid off their student debt, have retirement plans, etc once they are in their 30s as compared to just starting out. I also knew that I would have an amniocentesis and abort the pregnancy if there were any concerns at all, so the higher incidence of chromosomal abnormalities was not a concern for me.
I had my first at 22 and my last at 30. I could easily handle pregnancy again (I was a surrogate a couple of years ago) but definitely wouldn't want be doing the infant thing again. So because I started young and didn't want to be having kids for 20 years, my cut off was early 30's. If I had waited until my 30s to start having kids, like most of my friends, my cut off would be moved to my early 40s. I guess for me it's not just age, but length of time having kids. I wouldn't want to spend more than 10 years having kids.
I told myself I would be done by the time I turned 28. I go married at 20, we graduated college at 23 and had our first child at 24 and our S. at 27. I met my goal. My absolute oldest was 30. I wanted two kids total.
I had my kids at 20, 22, and 24. I wouldn't do it again. I'll be 29 tomorrow :).
But I wouldn't have anymore because my family is complete. I don't think 29 is too old to have babies. I say 40.
35. I'm 32 right now and have been debating in my mind whether or not to try for a 4th child.
35 due to increase in risk for birth defects - i had my first at 29 and my S. (and LAST!!) at 34 - it's all good.
I am done. Wanted to have my last before I turned 35. I had my daughter last January (14 months ago) and will be 35 this June.
L.
I had my last (2nd) just before I turned 32. I wouldn't have gone past my mid thirties to have kids.
30 was a perfect age for me. I do not think I could have handled it physically older than 35. Infants and toddlers take a lot of energy. Certainly not at 40.
I really admire the older moms.
I am 50 now and our daughter will graduate from College this spring.. Perfect timing for us.
for me, I knew I was finished birthing after my last.....at age 34. :)
For me it wasn't necessarily my age, it was my kids ages. I'm 41, and a year or so ago I got the baby bug again. What stopped me is that the baby would have been 8 years younger than my youngest and 10 years younger than my oldest and I think that's too far apart.
Hi adansmama-
For me...it was mid thirties...
Along those lines though, I caught part of a news spot about a doc who has figured out how to 'slow down' a woman's reproductive cycle...and thus be able to bear children at an older age...I guess that means one could have kids at a much older age with less risk.
So who knows what the future holds!
Best luck!
Michele/cat
I always said 30. I was six months pregnant when I turned 31 and that was my final planned pregnancy. We don't plan on having any more children.
EDIT: I had that number in my head because of a history of preterm labor and premature babies in my family, especially as the mothers get older. My babies were born early too, so it was a good limit. I also tend to have difficult pregnancies and hyperemesis gravidarium and that takes its toll. Pregnancy is also notorious for making Fibromyalgia worse, although I didn't know at the time that that's what was wrong with me. In hindsight... 20/20 vision and all that. I'm 37 now and I imagine a pregnancy would be nearly impossible for me. Not to mention that finances would be an issue.
45 is in my head but it would depend on whether or not I had any children or only had one and wanted him/her to have a sibling. I became a mom late and got pregnant super easily, easy pregnancies, healthy kids etc so i likely look at it much differently than someone in their 30's with kids and 40 seems SO old.
It would be 35 , for me.
My husband and I were working and in graduate school up until age 29. Then we were working professional jobs and getting financially secure...but at a beginner level (his job was a postdoc for example). So, I had our first child at age 33 and our 2nd at age 38. I can tell a big difference in my body, tiredness, and my patience in just 5 years. I am happy and done with 2 kids. But I would say my cut off is age 40. No more for me!
I said 30, and I meant it!! I'm 29 and we are DONE. My husband is getting a vasectomy.
40 was my cutoff age. I had mine at 36 and 38, and I never wanted more than two. My husband had a vasectomy, so no worries!
My "cut-off" age was 42 and that was the age that we had my S. child (first at 39). But now, at 44, I think I could physically and emotionally handle having one more. My husband is 48, however, and quite sure that he doesn't want to have any more children. To be honest, I don't blame him 50 is just around the corner!