How Old Is Too Old? - Olathe,KS

Updated on March 01, 2012
A.M. asks from Oskaloosa, KS
27 answers

good morning mamas! so just a quick question this morning - do you have a cut off age in your mind that you absolutely would not have any more kids?

physical limitations, financial, other children getting older, etc...

what do you think?

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K.F.

answers from New York on

I'm 45 and still trying to have children with my husband. I believe it is a personal decision. Everything about children can be challenging if you don't have the temperment for it.

4 moms found this helpful
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A.G.

answers from Boston on

I had my 3rd at 26 and I am 31 now and I can't see myself having anymore kids. I do NOT want to do the baby thing again. I am enjoying all the things we can do together now that they are older and I do not want to go back to having to deal with the baby stages.

2 moms found this helpful

I.W.

answers from Portland on

I had my daughter when I was 19. I always said 30 was my cutoff, but now that I'm in a better relationship with someone who wants kids, I'm thinking 40 is my new cutoff. I'm 35 & we plan to start ttc in the fall.

1 mom found this helpful

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E.S.

answers from Jacksonville on

My age was 40. I just had my S. son at 41. Never say never.

7 moms found this helpful

L._.

answers from San Diego on

I first said 25 because under 25 pregnancies are so easy. Then I said 35 because older than that the risks increase. We had our last when I was 33 and it was so HARD being pregnant then compared to the 3 I had before I was 25. Now I'm 45, almost 46 and there's no way my husband would ever agree. But I really wish we could do it again.

3 moms found this helpful
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K.B.

answers from Cincinnati on

I had mine at 25, 26 & 27 and am 31 (and pregnant) now and will still be 31 when the baby is born. My absolute cutoff was 30- obviously that didn't work out for me :) After this baby is born, we are 110% finished and will be taking permanent measures to ensure it. I wanted to have my kids young and I am so glad that I have. I cannot imagine just starting out now, as a lot of my acquaintances are. I always looked at it like this- there is only a small window of time that you can have successful, healthy pregnancies, but you have your entire life to finish education/build a career. Having kids younger is not for everyone, but I would do it over again in a heartbeat!

3 moms found this helpful
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E.B.

answers from Beaumont on

I think that's totally an individual decision. So many factors come into play. My "magic" age was 42. Not sure why, that was just it.

3 moms found this helpful
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J.V.

answers from Chicago on

I am almost 40 and we are trying for our third and last. I'm sure having a baby would have been easier at 25, but my last one, at 38, was super easy. The pregnancy was even easy. I'm hoping my third is even easier. It's possible ;-)

2 moms found this helpful
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D.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I absolutely will not have any more kids (I have one). But I did not decide I wanted one until I was 39. He was born when I was 40, DH was 45.

I was way more financially secure as well as secure in my career at that point. I cannot even imagine having one (or more) in my 20s. Being an entry level professional and trying to balance that with an infant would have been vastly harder than being a firmly established professional and business owner.

I am uncertain about your question on financial concerns. I assume most people are much more financially secure, have paid off their student debt, have retirement plans, etc once they are in their 30s as compared to just starting out. I also knew that I would have an amniocentesis and abort the pregnancy if there were any concerns at all, so the higher incidence of chromosomal abnormalities was not a concern for me.

2 moms found this helpful
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J.B.

answers from Boston on

I had my first at 22 and my last at 30. I could easily handle pregnancy again (I was a surrogate a couple of years ago) but definitely wouldn't want be doing the infant thing again. So because I started young and didn't want to be having kids for 20 years, my cut off was early 30's. If I had waited until my 30s to start having kids, like most of my friends, my cut off would be moved to my early 40s. I guess for me it's not just age, but length of time having kids. I wouldn't want to spend more than 10 years having kids.

2 moms found this helpful
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C.O.

answers from Minneapolis on

I told myself I would be done by the time I turned 28. I go married at 20, we graduated college at 23 and had our first child at 24 and our S. at 27. I met my goal. My absolute oldest was 30. I wanted two kids total.

1 mom found this helpful

M.D.

answers from Washington DC on

I had my kids at 20, 22, and 24. I wouldn't do it again. I'll be 29 tomorrow :).

But I wouldn't have anymore because my family is complete. I don't think 29 is too old to have babies. I say 40.

1 mom found this helpful

C.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

35. I'm 32 right now and have been debating in my mind whether or not to try for a 4th child.

1 mom found this helpful
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H.M.

answers from Denver on

35 due to increase in risk for birth defects - i had my first at 29 and my S. (and LAST!!) at 34 - it's all good.

1 mom found this helpful

L.U.

answers from Seattle on

I am done. Wanted to have my last before I turned 35. I had my daughter last January (14 months ago) and will be 35 this June.
L.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.T.

answers from New York on

I had my last (2nd) just before I turned 32. I wouldn't have gone past my mid thirties to have kids.

1 mom found this helpful

L.A.

answers from Austin on

30 was a perfect age for me. I do not think I could have handled it physically older than 35. Infants and toddlers take a lot of energy. Certainly not at 40.
I really admire the older moms.

I am 50 now and our daughter will graduate from College this spring.. Perfect timing for us.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.H.

answers from St. Louis on

for me, I knew I was finished birthing after my last.....at age 34. :)

1 mom found this helpful
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A.R.

answers from Dallas on

For me it wasn't necessarily my age, it was my kids ages. I'm 41, and a year or so ago I got the baby bug again. What stopped me is that the baby would have been 8 years younger than my youngest and 10 years younger than my oldest and I think that's too far apart.

1 mom found this helpful

C.W.

answers from Lynchburg on

Hi adansmama-

For me...it was mid thirties...

Along those lines though, I caught part of a news spot about a doc who has figured out how to 'slow down' a woman's reproductive cycle...and thus be able to bear children at an older age...I guess that means one could have kids at a much older age with less risk.

So who knows what the future holds!

Best luck!
Michele/cat

1 mom found this helpful

J.S.

answers from Hartford on

I always said 30. I was six months pregnant when I turned 31 and that was my final planned pregnancy. We don't plan on having any more children.

EDIT: I had that number in my head because of a history of preterm labor and premature babies in my family, especially as the mothers get older. My babies were born early too, so it was a good limit. I also tend to have difficult pregnancies and hyperemesis gravidarium and that takes its toll. Pregnancy is also notorious for making Fibromyalgia worse, although I didn't know at the time that that's what was wrong with me. In hindsight... 20/20 vision and all that. I'm 37 now and I imagine a pregnancy would be nearly impossible for me. Not to mention that finances would be an issue.

1 mom found this helpful
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P.R.

answers from Cleveland on

45 is in my head but it would depend on whether or not I had any children or only had one and wanted him/her to have a sibling. I became a mom late and got pregnant super easily, easy pregnancies, healthy kids etc so i likely look at it much differently than someone in their 30's with kids and 40 seems SO old.

1 mom found this helpful
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A.K.

answers from Bloomington on

It would be 35 , for me.

1 mom found this helpful

C.T.

answers from Santa Fe on

My husband and I were working and in graduate school up until age 29. Then we were working professional jobs and getting financially secure...but at a beginner level (his job was a postdoc for example). So, I had our first child at age 33 and our 2nd at age 38. I can tell a big difference in my body, tiredness, and my patience in just 5 years. I am happy and done with 2 kids. But I would say my cut off is age 40. No more for me!

1 mom found this helpful
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B..

answers from Dallas on

I said 30, and I meant it!! I'm 29 and we are DONE. My husband is getting a vasectomy.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.B.

answers from Atlanta on

40 was my cutoff age. I had mine at 36 and 38, and I never wanted more than two. My husband had a vasectomy, so no worries!

1 mom found this helpful
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S.M.

answers from Indianapolis on

My "cut-off" age was 42 and that was the age that we had my S. child (first at 39). But now, at 44, I think I could physically and emotionally handle having one more. My husband is 48, however, and quite sure that he doesn't want to have any more children. To be honest, I don't blame him 50 is just around the corner!

1 mom found this helpful
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